Ever since the rumors started, the insults and ridicule have been relentless. Those unvarnished swear words were like a long whip studded with thorns, lashing his body and soul mercilessly. Each lash drew blood.
No one listened to their explanations; everyone treated them as outsiders. The once peaceful campus suddenly turned into hell.
Even so, he never blamed Gu Junxiao. Even when he was overthrown by foul language, he didn't care about Gu Junxiao's feelings for him or the nonsense from the outside world.
But even with that kind of trust and dependence, the ending was still terrible.
The tsunami eventually knocked Gu Junxiao down. He staggered back two steps, like a fallen leaf about to be blown away by the wind.
"Can you please stop trying to show up in front of me and disgust me?" Shen Moyu clenched his fists, trying to shut up any words and suppress his anger.
Gu Junxiao couldn't face the pain these words brought, just like the pain he felt when he hit Shen Moyu back then, which tormented him for two years.
Gu Junxiao stood a few steps away from Shen Moyu, staring blankly at the person he had liked for two years, and who he also felt most indebted to. He sniffed and admitted, "Yes, if I hadn't confessed to you, this matter would never have spread..."
He glanced at Shen Moyu's face, then quickly looked away: "If it doesn't spread..." He hesitated for a moment, then sneered: "In the end, it's just that I was too cowardly."
Shen Moyu looked at him, his eyes deep: "I've already been more than fair to you in terms of appearances at school. Please don't show your face in front of me again." He took a deep breath and looked down at the wallet on the ground: "I don't care if you still like me."
Gu Junxiao felt a sudden pang in her heart, her eyes reddening as she looked at him, but she dared not let Shen Moyu see her emotions.
Shen Moyu looked away: "Or for some other reasons that I'm not interested in. I hope you won't bring this up again."
Gu Junxiao met Shen Moyu's indifferent, lifeless eyes and suddenly recalled the boy from their first year of junior high, walking towards him with an umbrella on a rainy day, still innocent and radiating a dazzling smile. Shen Moyu was so good back then. He was mischievous, laughed heartily, shared countless funny stories with him, complained about the crazy teammates he encountered in games, and occasionally even skipped class to bring him breakfast from outside the school.
It seems that he ruined a person, a cheerful, gentle boy who loved to laugh.
How long has it been since he last saw the Shen Moyu he knew so well? Probably since the moment he turned and left, but when he turned back, he no longer had the right to see him.
His heart tightened, and he suddenly asked, "How did you become like this?"
He became the kind of indifferent and heartless person that Shen Moyu had personally described to him.
"It's none of your business." Shen Moyu clenched his fist. "I'll say it again, no matter what your reasons are, let's not have any unnecessary entanglements anymore." Shen Moyu closed his eyes, and when he looked at him again, there was a sudden firmness in his eyes, much gentler than before when he was indifferent. "You are someone from my past, and you can only stay in the past. I admit I can't erase you, but I have found someone more suitable."
The sky suddenly darkened, and dark clouds blocked out the sunlight. As the heat dissipated, the two of them were now completely in the shadows.
Shen Moyu said softly, "I have someone I like."
Perhaps it was because of the tears in his eyes, but Gu Junxiao suddenly saw a glimmer of light rekindle in his eyes. Shen Moyu gazed at the sunflowers facing the sun under the fence in the distance and said softly, "Not as outstanding as you, not as perfect as you." He paused, then looked directly at Gu Junxiao: "But more beautiful than you, gentler than you, braver than you, and makes me feel more at ease than you."
It seems that even ten thousand words wouldn't be enough to describe how good that person was. If Gu Junxiao gave him light, then that person gave him a whole new world.
It didn't rain; the dark clouds only briefly obscured the sun. As time passed and they moved away, the golden, warm sunlight shone on Shen Moyu once more. He turned and left without looking back, his resolute manner mirroring his earlier nonchalant departure from the four-year-old wallet.
Just like you need to change your wallet eventually, you also need to change your time.
Su Jinning stood behind the tree trunk, quietly watching Gu Junxiao leave in a dejected manner. The tears on his face were still wet, probably secretly shed after Shen Moyu left.
Watching Gu Junxiao's retreating figure, Su Jinning closed her eyes and slid down the tree trunk to sit down.
The last words were spoken too softly; he only caught the gist of them. But what he remembered was the tangled story of the two people, a story that was both regrettable and infuriating.
He couldn't understand why Shen Moyu, who seemed so glamorous, always had such a shameful past.
He couldn't help but imagine Shen Moyu curled up in a ball, beaten and bruised all over. It was a sight that pained Su Jinning, and one he couldn't bear to look at.
It turns out that Shen Moyu's indifference was all an act; once he got used to it, he could never change it.
Su Jinning suddenly felt that her feelings were really useless. She had no way of knowing about Shen Moyu's past, which he kept silent about, nor did she have the right to know.
If he had been the one who gave him the wallet at the memorial hall at the foot of the mountain years ago, if he had been the one who confessed his feelings to him and faced the gossip together years ago, would he have been able to keep the smiling and sunny Shen Moyu?
Or, when he's beaten so badly he can't move, you can squeeze through a gap in the crowd, just enough for a little light to shine through, and reach out to him to clean the dirt off his face.
Tell him not to let the light in his eyes be extinguished.
He really wanted to hug that boy who always stood in the dark world.
But he was also afraid. He was afraid that in the end, Shen Moyu would stand in front of him, looking at him with disgust, and say, "Your affection is disgusting enough. Don't show your face in front of me and disgust me anymore."
He had the courage to like someone, but not the courage to say it.
It was Gu Junxiao's confession that put Shen Moyu in a desperate situation back then.
He didn't want to go through all of this again. If it made him happy, he was willing to keep these words to himself. He dared not challenge Shen Moyu's bottom line, much less challenge the opinions of the world.
He didn't expect Shen Moyu to like him, he only hoped that she wouldn't hate him or push him away.
That would be too cruel.
"Ring ring—" Suddenly, her hand vibrated, and the shrill and abrupt ring of the telephone entered Su Jinning's ears.
He was forcibly pulled from his thoughts, and looked down at the phone in his hand that he hadn't returned yet. It was probably that Shen Moyu had discovered that the phone was left with him and had called using Xia Wei's phone.
He paused for a moment, then answered the phone. Sure enough, a voice he knew all too well came from the other end—magnetic and pleasant; it was the voice he had been longing for.
"Hey? Are you home yet?"
He took a deep breath, suppressing the surge of bitterness, and said with a slight smile, "No, I'm eating noodles downstairs at your place. I'm just about to finish eating and bring your phone over."
"I see." Shen Moyu pressed his knuckles and said, "Then eat slowly, there's no rush."
"Okay, it's nothing." Su Jinning pretended to finish her drink and said, "I'm done eating. Come downstairs, I'll wait for you."
"Mm," Shen Moyu replied, but did not take the phone down to hang up.
Su Jinning didn't hang up either. After saying "okay," the two of them remained silent for ten seconds.
For those ten seconds, Su Jin listened quietly to the even, light breathing coming from the other end of the phone. Occasionally, she could hear the sound of her aunt cooking, as if she were standing right beside him.
In the end, Su Jinning hung up, unable to bear listening any longer.
Wiping her pale cheeks, Su Jinning stood up from the ground, dusted off the dust that had settled on her back, and then strolled into the residential area.
Before long, Shen Moyu appeared in front of him, walking slowly towards him with his back to the afterglow of the setting sun.
Shen Moyu looked at him, who was covered in sweat, and smiled: "What happened to you? Did you get into a fight with the noodles?"
"Huh?" Su Jinning watched him react for a long time, then put on a wronged look and joked with him: "It's because it didn't put chili in it."
"You're crazy." Shen Moyu laughed.