Men are sometimes very insensitive to tenderness.
After you meet, he sees you off to your car, and you all wave goodbye. The car slowly drives away, and at that moment, you turn your head to take another look at him, only to find that he has already walked away.
You parted ways on the station platform. You walked into the train car alone. As the doors closed, you desperately peered out from the crowded train, trying to exchange one last glance with him, but he didn't look at you. Your tender gaze remained only for yourself.
He came out of your house, and you quickly went to the window to wait for him to pass by downstairs. He passed by, and you kept waving to him, hoping he would look up at you, but he was such a fool, he didn't even bother to look up at your window.
You drive him somewhere, and after he gets out of the car, you gaze tenderly at his back, hoping he will turn around and look at you with reluctance to part. But he never expected that you would be there waiting for his gaze.
Besides kisses and hugs, I hope we can look back again and again as we part, until we disappear from each other's eyes. My eyes can no longer see you; on my journey home, I will recall that deep, lingering image. I want to become the man in your book.
A fifteen-year-old girl emailed me saying that her boyfriend, who was the same age as her, had recently emailed me, but I hadn't replied. He told me in the email that both sets of parents were against their relationship. Her parents told him, "If you truly love each other, wait until she's twenty-one before you get together." Although six years is a long time, he was willing to wait for her.
The girl sent me her boyfriend's email again. The boy had said the following in the email:
"We love each other deeply."
“She is someone who doesn’t believe in promises. She told me not to make this promise because she was afraid that I would regret it when the time came, but I’m not afraid… I still love her deeply.”
“I can do it. I want to be the man in your book, ‘The Cheeks of a Happy Fish’, in the essay ‘Unchanging is also a kind of ability’—a man of unwavering commitment.”
However, the girl now tells me that this boy, who made such a solemn vow, had already fallen in love with another girl two months after writing that email. She wanted to see him again, but he refused. She had never believed in promises before; he had made her believe, and she believed, only to break her promise.
My dear girl, he's only fifteen. What do you want from him? A fifty-year-old man will still tell girls this kind of lie. And fifteen years from now, you'll still believe a man's lies. Can we just have a hug?
A said that that night, her boyfriend hugged her and wanted to be intimate, but she was worried about work and wasn't in the mood, plus she hadn't finished the work she brought home. She told him:
"Not tonight."
He immediately let go and went to bed alone.
She was frustrated; she didn't want intimacy, but she wanted a hug. Why couldn't it just be a hug?
She loved him very much, but at that moment, she felt hurt and that he was selfish. In her frustration and exhaustion, she longed for a warm hug, for comfort in its embrace, but when she needed it, he let go.
When a man wants intimacy but is rejected by a woman, he either sits listlessly on the sofa watching TV and drinking beer, or goes to bed dejectedly. Has the man ever considered that when she says "no," she means no to sex, not just no hugging? If she doesn't even want a hug, perhaps she no longer loves him.
Women embrace for affection, men embrace for affection—this may be a significant difference between men and women. A man said, "You don't understand men. When he goes to bed alone, it's out of respect for a woman; but if he's embracing her, he can't hold back anymore."
How often do men truly understand women?
The woman longed to hug the man, anytime, anywhere; whenever she needed it, she craved his embrace. She didn't want to be intimate with him, feeling a little guilty, and desperately wanted him to hold her—it was more powerful than a thousand words. But he kept her at arm's length. (The boyfriend's educational background...)
A girl said she was a college student, while her boyfriend hadn't even graduated from high school. She loved him, but she couldn't help feeling a little bothered by his low level of education. She asked me if I would mind having a boyfriend with a lower level of education than myself.
If you love someone, you won't care about their circumstances. If you do care, it doesn't prove you're materialistic or snobbish; it proves you don't love them enough. You don't love them so much that you forget their low education level. No matter how long you're with them, you'll always care. In that case, you might as well think it over carefully.
A person's academic qualifications do not reflect their intelligence. Some master's and doctoral students are only as intelligent as a high school student, and their character is inferior to that of an ordinary peddler. Would you marry one of these PhDs or master's degree holders?
It's understandable for a woman to choose to marry for money; whether she's happy or not, she's investing her own happiness. But it's much harder to understand for a woman to marry for education. What are the benefits of marrying for education? A university degree is a good dowry, but not a good betrothal gift; knowledge is more important than academic achievement.
Some women don't mind if their boyfriends have a lower educational background than them, because even if their academic qualifications are lower, they may have talents and achievements in other areas. If they can't communicate with each other, his higher education is useless.
If you have any complaints or reservations, it only proves that you haven't found the best one yet. A woman's flaws.
Men often say to the women in front of them, "I've never treated a woman like this before..."
No matter how many men we hear say this, we still believe it wholeheartedly every time we hear it.
Why would I believe that?
We actually believe that he has never loved a woman so much, that he has never been so infatuated with a woman, that he has never been so gentle with a woman, that he has never been so passionate with a woman... We even believe that he has never kissed a woman and touched a woman like that.
How could that be? He wasn't a monk before, and he didn't run away from the mountains. Do we have that much magic? If he never said sweet words to his previous women, how did they stay with him? Did his previous women always climb on top of him and rape him?
How can I believe that I am the only woman who can arouse your desire?
My reason for not believing you is simple: because you are a man.
But every time we hear a man say, "You're the most special one—", we always believe him at the same time. Maybe this time he meant it from the bottom of his heart; I really am the most special person in his life. Before, it was other women who molested him, but I was the exception; it was he who wanted to molest me.
Believing even these things—perhaps that's a woman's flaw. A vow of ten years' life.
Have you ever made such a vow? When you fall in love with someone you can't have, are you willing to trade ten years of your life for that possibility?
At that time, you must have been very young, young enough to have many decades ahead of you, and you could generously and without regret exchange ten years for what you love.
You love him, and he loves you, but unfortunately, he can't be with you. You silently swear to heaven:
"I would give up ten years of my life for him."
To exchange one's life for a possibility—what a poignant yet naive love that is.
But fate has never favored such vows. No one can exchange their life for love. Ten years cannot buy even a single day. Besides, fate already knows we are not particularly generous. The ten years we are willing to give up are the last ten years of our lives. At an advanced age, the last ten years are nothing more than a bonus. We are merely sacrificing that bonus; it's not noble. We think our love is profound, but in reality, we are quite stingy. If those ten years had to be taken from our youth, how many people would truly be willing?
As you get older, you won't be willing to trade ten years of your life for a possibility. You'll only be willing to trade those ten years for your youth. If you could be ten years younger, you'd even be willing to give up the man you love right now. Right? Thirty-one years old versus twenty-three years old.
A 31-year-old woman and a 23-year-old man have been dating for five months. She doesn't mind that she's older than him, but she worries that he might. She doesn't have much confidence in the relationship; she believes that although he says he doesn't mind, he probably does.
In fact, when a woman is older than a man, it's often the woman who minds. Men don't mind their girlfriends being older, but women often worry that their boyfriends will look down on them. A man loves a woman for who she is now. He can't see or imagine her growing old. A woman loves a man for his future. She invests her future in his. When she loves a man, she always thinks about growing old. When she's old, will this man still love her?
She's older than him, which means she'll age faster. Will he mind her age then? Since the future is so uncertain, she'd rather have a man older than her. At least, when she gets old, he'll get old too, and he'll always be older than her.
Age is a woman's biggest burden. She said she was afraid men would mind, but actually, she herself was the one who minded the most; otherwise, why would she worry that he would mind?
When a man loves you, his mother might mind your age, but he won't. Only when he stops loving you, when he falls for a younger woman, will he start to care about your age. He'll tell his new love with regret, "She's a little older than me." How touching is this excuse for infidelity? The sentence that brings the most tears.
Which sentence made you shed the most tears?