Geisteswissenschaftliche Fakultät

Kapitel 40

I don't know when the heavy rain stopped or how I got back to my ancestral home. Ever since I met Grandma Jin, or even earlier, since I dreamt of Wensu, my thoughts have been in a state of chaos, a jumbled mess, and I couldn't even tell which was dream and which was reality. So when I returned to my ancestral home soaking wet and found a man lying brazenly in my room, eating an apple and reading a magazine, my first reaction was to pinch my cheek.

"Ouch!" The result of the forceful pinching was that my face contorted in pain and I cried out.

Hearing my shout, the man lying on the ground slammed down his book, revealing a disdainful face. Short, light brown hair, strong facial features—it was a very masculine face. I admit, even though I was facing a thief, I was still captivated by his good looks. Perhaps my expression too obviously revealed my stupidity, because the "thief" impatiently stood up—quite tall, probably over 180 centimeters—walked step by step towards me, then bent down—and gave me a hard knock on the head: "You're not just stupid, you're incredibly stupid!"

I instinctively covered my head and looked at him in confusion.

"Dear cousin, you haven't even forgotten who I am, have you?"

"Ah! You're an idiot, Ah Cong!" I finally remembered my identity as a "thief," pointed at his nose and yelled, followed by another, even harder blow to my forehead.

"You idiot Nagisa, you're the one who's an idiot!" A-Cong grumbled, but her eyes and brows were full of laughter.

I excitedly reached out to slap him—this was our greeting when we met as children. A tap on the forehead from Ah Cong, my invincible palm strike—but my outstretched hand stopped in mid-air.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

Yes, this is the normal reaction when childhood playmates meet again. Although they may be confused at first about whether they recognize each other, they will soon recognize the old traces left on each other and all the past memories will come flooding back, so fresh that it is as if everything happened yesterday, unlike the memories about Wensu, which are nothing but fleeting images and vague feelings.

"Did you get knocked silly?" Ah Cong asked seriously, waving his large hand up and down in front of my eyes.

“Ah Cong, do you still remember Wen Su?” I grabbed his waving hand and asked hopefully.

"Wen Su? A man?" A Cong tilted her head and looked at me. "Could it be the man who abandoned you?"

"So you don't remember?" I muttered to myself, feeling quite disappointed. It turned out that I was the only one who remembered Wen Su from beginning to end. The only other person was that old lady Jin, who was either crazy or insane.

“Hey, being dumped by a man isn’t a big deal,” Ah Cong said, assuming I was reminiscing about some sad relationship, so he remained silent. “Even though you’re clumsy, ugly, and don’t know how to dress yourself.” His later addition earned him a hard slap from me.

"Get this straight, your cousin isn't that bad off. Although I did break up with my boyfriend of several years, I never had any deep feelings for him from the beginning. In fact, our so-called passionate relationship didn't even look like that of a couple to others. So, I actually felt a sense of relief when we broke up. "Besides," I patted his shoulder triumphantly, "someone used to cry and beg to marry me when I was little, because you're a 'clumsy,' 'ugly,' and can't dress up cousin." I still want to laugh when I think about how Ah-Cong grabbed my sleeve and cried and begged to marry me when I left my aunt's house as a child.

"Stop talking! That's the biggest humiliation of my life!" Ah Cong pounded his chest and stamped his feet, looking so heartbroken that I chased him all over the house in anger.

"Alright, alright," Ah Cong cried, raising her hands in surrender, "Now can you tell me who this Wen Su really is?"

My smile froze on my face, and the good mood I had just felt because of Ah Cong's appearance vanished instantly.

"You really don't remember?" I asked persistently. "My cousin Wensu, who is three years older than us, is my uncle's child. He also lived in this house when he was a child. Back then, we often went to play at the lotus pond in Xishan together."

Ah Cong frowned, looking at me with concern, then suddenly exclaimed, "Why are you all wet? Didn't you even bring an umbrella?" Without further ado, he pushed me into the room, "Go take a shower and change your clothes, or you'll catch a cold. I'll make you some ginger soup to warm you up."

He's grown up. A moment later, as I changed into clean clothes and comfortably drank some hot soup, I suddenly realized this. The Ah Cong in front of me was no longer the crybaby he used to be; in his place was a trustworthy and reliable adult man.

"Ah Cong, you've really grown up." I felt a deep sense of emotion for some reason.

His busy figure, busy packing his luggage, paused for a moment, then resumed his work. Ah-Cong deftly packed his large suitcase neatly before sitting down beside me. "Cousin," he suddenly reached out and smoothed my slightly disheveled hair, "it seems you haven't grown at all."

"Really?" I tilted my head, thinking. My career had failed, my love life hadn't been smooth, and in my twenty-five years, I hadn't produced a single good report card. Ha, I chuckled self-deprecatingly. I really hadn't made any progress.

"Let's not talk about that. How did you end up at the old house?"

Upon hearing this, he dramatically knelt down on the table with a "bang," waving his hands repeatedly: "Don't even mention it, it's all because I had a falling out with my old man!"

I recall hearing that Ah-Cong was obsessed with stage plays and wanted to become an actress. She even gave up her studies at a prestigious university, had a big fight with her father, and left home for the United States.

"Sigh, so many years have passed, and the old man is still as stubborn as ever." He looked helpless. "I thought that after five years, he would have made a name for himself in America and surely acknowledge me by now. But he's still the same old man. He curses me as a good-for-nothing and a spendthrift as soon as he sees me, and then he even chased me out with a broom. I don't like staying in hotels, so I had no choice but to come to the ancestral home." He angrily ruffled his hair.

"Don't move." I suddenly remembered something and reached out to cover the area below his nose. "Ah, you wouldn't happen to be that genius stage actor mentioned in the newspaper, the last nobleman or something!" That's right, I once saw this face in a newspaper article about the male lead in a stage play called "The Thief"!

"Bingo! It is indeed I, your humble servant." He grinned, revealing a set of white teeth.

Good heavens, that's not just making a name for yourself, that's being a celebrity! I was completely bewildered!

"You flatter me, you flatter me. Who told me I was born smarter than some people?" A-Cong not only didn't know how to restrain himself, but also made sarcastic remarks, which made me both laugh and cry. I said that he had grown up, but he was still a child.

"However, Zhu, my uncle's family should never have had a person named Wensu."

I was stunned for a moment, and instinctively retorted, "Impossible. We used to play together when we were kids, and I even saw him a few nights ago."

"Where?"

"Here, right here! Over at the lotus pond, he looked about seventeen or eighteen years old, wearing a bright red robe with white lotus patterns, and then he disappeared in an instant." My voice grew softer and softer, and the more I spoke, the more confused I became. I had clearly seen it with my own eyes, so why did it feel so unbelievable? Was I really dreaming?

"Wait a minute." I suddenly remembered the belt, and ran to my room to find it. "Look, this is it, the belt he left behind."

Ah Cong looked at me with suspicion, then took the belt and examined it carefully.

“Nagisa,” he said earnestly after looking at it over several times, “have you been too tired lately? This belt has an elegant pattern, but the workmanship is not necessarily exquisite. You could buy it in a store. Besides, if it really was left by my cousin Wensu, as you say, why did he suddenly appear and then suddenly disappear? He couldn’t possibly look younger than us.”

"So what!" I didn't care if no one else believed me, but I felt inexplicably angry when I heard Ah Cong's rebuttal, even though I had always considered Ah Cong as one of my own.

"How could someone my age be wrong about a person?" I stood up excitedly and shouted, "Believe it or not, I will find out the truth by myself!"

"Zhu, don't get so agitated." A-Cong gently pressed me down to sit, her touch gentle yet leaving no room for resistance. "I didn't say I didn't believe you, did I? It's just that all of this is too strange. Why don't you tell me everything, and we can analyze it together, okay?"

Looking into his sincere eyes, I felt incredibly calm and nodded.

(iv) Scattered Clouds

Knowing that Grandma Jin has Alzheimer's disease is a mixed blessing for me. I visited the Jin family early this morning, and under our persistent questioning, Uncle Jianhua finally told us the bittersweet news. After visiting Grandma Jin in the morning, A-Cong disappeared without a trace, leaving me sitting blankly under the eaves, gazing at the clear weather, lost in thought, unsure of where to go.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footsteps; Ah Cong had returned.

"Zhu, come with me!" He looked exhausted but excited, running off somewhere. I followed him and saw him go into an old warehouse, frantically rummaging through piles of old papers, doing something I couldn't tell what.

"Ah-Cong, what are you looking for?" I lifted my skirt, carefully walked around the old, sprawling objects, and stood behind him.

Ah Cong didn't answer me, but kept muttering something to himself as he searched. I didn't know what to say, so I found a clean spot to sit down and wait for him.

"Found it!"

The sudden shout pulled me back to reality from my half-awake state. My eyes were still blurry, but I saw Ah Cong waving something in front of me like a child.

"Nagisa, I've found the substance you were looking for!"

I was shocked. I took the thing he handed me like a treasure, and it turned out to be the family register.

"Look at this one." Seeing my dazed look, A-Cong simply snatched it from me, turned to a page, and pointed it out to me. The yellowed page was printed with names of all sizes connected by complicated lines. It was a list of surnames from my grandfather's generation to the present, with my grandfather as the head and several branches below him. Under my father Shi's name, the two large characters "Wen Su" were printed, with the smaller note next to it saying "eldest daughter." There were no other children.

"This..." I was immediately confused. Could it be that I am Wensu?

"Look at this again." A-Cong handed over another thin piece of paper, which was the finest Zichengzhai Xuan paper that her grandfather liked the most. The three characters "Wen Su" and "Zhu" were written on it in a free and unrestrained cursive script, divided into two vertical columns with a line connecting them in the middle, but with a small cross next to "Wen Su". It was obvious at a glance that it was her grandfather's handwriting.

"I don't understand," I said honestly. What Ah-Cong showed me really confused me. Should I ask Su or Zhu?

"Idiot, Wensu is you, and Zhu is you too." Acon didn't care about the accumulated dust, casually patted a stack of thick books and sat down. "I just remembered. When you were five years old, you fell into the lotus pond in Xishan. Didn't you have a high fever after that?"

I nodded blankly and listened to him continue.

"Do you know how much money was saved later?"

“My father said that my grandfather heard me muttering about lotus in my sleep, so he moved all the lotus ponds in the West Mountain here. Maybe it was because of the change in environment that my illness was cured inexplicably.”

Ah Cong shook his head: "That's not what my old man told me. He said that you were in a very dangerous situation at the time. Just then, a highly respected wandering monk came to the village. My grandfather invited him to treat you. The first thing he prescribed was to move the lotus pond over. The second thing he did was to change your name. He said that your fate is wood, and your name should contain something that can sustain life. Water, soil, and sunshine are all indispensable. So he changed your name from Wensu to Zhu. In fact, your life was saved by that master."

Ah Cong spoke in a mysterious and cryptic way, but I only understood half of what he said. Was it really that simple? I couldn't believe it, but looking at his tired yet excited smile, I felt a warmth in my heart. I thought to myself, Wen Su and Zhu, it turns out they were both me, but whose familiar face was that?

(V) Summer Snow

I'm having another dream.

Wen Su, adorned with a bright red background and white lotus pattern, appeared before me again. This time, however, he was much closer than before. He was right in front of me, looking at me with melancholy eyes. Then he spoke, saying, "You..." His lips moved, and then I woke up with a start.

All the business was settled, and Ah-Cong accompanied me on the car journey north. Reluctantly gazing out the window, I sighed inwardly that the beautiful green mountains were only for now; in the future, perhaps all I would see would be the neon lights of Ferris wheels, as cold as the city itself.

"Is there anything you forgot?" Ah Cong tied up the luggage, and when I nodded, he closed the trunk, started the engine, and drove away.

I sat in the car watching the lush green fields recede behind me, watching the people on the ridges bow and also back away. The trees of the Western Hills, the scenery of the Western Hills, everything about the Western Hills would become history. Suddenly, white and red dots in the distance caught my eye.

"Stop the car!" I yelled. Ah Cong slammed on the brakes in surprise, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I didn't have time to explain further, opened the car door, and chased after him.

A-Cong called my name from behind, but I ignored him, only focusing on chasing that figure as I ran. Wen Su, it's Wen Su! I shouted in my heart. Why had Wen Su suddenly appeared before me in broad daylight? I ran desperately, but he walked leisurely, always keeping a distance, and I couldn't catch him. I no longer cared about being a lady; I took off my high heels, unafraid of hurting my feet, and stubbornly followed him over the ridges of the fields, around the pond, all the way towards the western mountains.

"Zhu!" A-Cong chased after me and tried to stop me. "What's wrong with you? Why did you suddenly get off the car and run around like that?" He tried to grab my wrist, but I shook him off.

"Can't you see? Wensu, Wensu is ahead!" I kept repeating it like a trance, so forcefully that Ah Cong couldn't twist me at all.

"I didn't see anything, Zhu, let's go back, don't be like this." A-Cong was anxious and worried, and tried desperately to pull me, but she couldn't hold on to me no matter what she did.

Wen Su! Wen Su! Wen Su! These were the only two words in my mind at that moment. The vastness of the world seemed to confine me only to that figure in bright red with white lotus patterns. He would occasionally pause, turning to check if I was keeping up, yet always maintaining a distance that was neither too close nor too far. Wen Su, what are you trying to tell me? Where are you taking me?

When I stopped, the surrounding fields were shrouded in darkness. Looking up, I saw fireflies dancing among the grass, their vibrant green and golden hues a beautiful sight. A gentle evening breeze carried a delicate fragrance, which, upon closer inspection, turned out to be the sweet scent of lotus seeds. As a drifting cloud dispersed, revealing a bright, full moon, the fields were instantly bathed in white light, and I stood frozen in place, unable to move an inch.

As I looked out, all I could see was a sea of pink stamens and snow-white petals. Countless lotuses bloomed proudly before me, their pink clusters surrounding emerald green calyxes. Below, a pool of still blue water reflected the shimmering golden moonlight. The beauty was breathtaking; it was the lotus pond of Xishan!

When I arrived after Ah Cong, I was also stunned and stood there, muttering to myself, unable to say a word.

“Lotus…” I heard a voice in my ear.

"Lotus!" Countless voices echoed in my ears, like thunder in a valley, rumbling endlessly.

"Lian, you're back."

The myriad sounds gradually subsided, leaving only this clear voice—it was his!

He stood in the middle of the pond, looking at me with those clear, bright eyes, just like the day he said goodbye to me. He was wearing his favorite bright red robe, painted with white lotuses, and he smiled warmly at me then. He said, "Lotus, you may go if you wish. I will stay here and watch over your lotus pond, waiting for you to return."

I swayed weakly and finally collapsed to the ground.

How could I forget! How could I forget! The mountain god of Xishan, my most revered brother Qiongqiu. When I was still a small lotus, he favored me so much, giving me the richest pond mud and the warmest sunlight, allowing me to grow and bloom; my brother, whom I admired from the bottom of my heart, never went against my wishes. When I insisted on befriending the children of the Yan family, he only looked at me sadly and never said no. That day, I was visiting another place, and when I returned, I found that the child had fallen and drowned in the pond. I frantically pulled him out, but I couldn't wake him up, his body already ice-cold. I cried for a while, and suddenly a thought came to me. I asked him, "Can a lotus go to the human world? A lotus wants to be a human child."

He looked at me for a long time, then finally sighed and agreed.

So everyone's memories were altered, resulting in the present-day Zhu. And what about me? What did I do? I completely forgot about him, selfishly moved the lotus pond, left Xishan, leaving him alone to wait in vain, and now I've even taken Xishan… Heavens! I actually took his true form…

"Silly girl," he saw through my thoughts and smiled slightly, as warm as ever but with a hint of sadness that startled me. "I'm leaving. There will be no one to take care of me from now on. You have to be careful."

"Brother Qiongqiu..." I was startled and rushed over to pull him up, but A-Cong grabbed my arm tightly.

"Zhu, you can't go over there!" he shouted desperately in my ear, ignoring my crying, screaming, punching, and kicking.

"Ah Cong, let go, I beg you." I cried and looked at the mountain god's back, at the striking figure of bright red and snow-white, and at the forest mist gradually gathering around him, overflowing with an ominous light.

"I won't let go!" Ah Cong hugged me tightly. "You don't belong there! You're not Lian, you're Zhu, you're Zhu of the Yan family!" His arms were like iron hoops, tightly encircling me. Crimson blood seeped from the teeth marks and finger marks on my body, but he refused to loosen his grip at all.

Is this punishment? Is this God's punishment for my betrayal? I want to break free but I can't, I want to escape but I can't. I can't close my eyes, I can only watch helplessly as the buds in the pond, as if using their last breath, rush to bloom, their pink and snow-white petals scattering like snowflakes in an instant, like the echoing cries of thousands of snow sparrows. From the mountain god's body, a magnificent and dazzling light bursts forth, those eerie traces of light spreading and wandering all over his body, inch by inch, dissecting his body, peeling away his skin...

He had his back to me, but I knew he was smiling. The smiling mountain god was collapsing, his body falling apart inch by inch, his body dying piece by piece. He just smiled like that, like shattered snowflakes, collapsing in front of me with a bang, scattering into fragrant and cold summer "snow" all over the sky and fields.

A sorrowful summer snow, a fragrant summer snow—was this the mountain god's final gift to me? I helplessly spread my palms to hold a handful of pale white snow, and finally, everything went black, and I fainted. In the instant before my consciousness faded, I heard his voice. He said, "Nagisa, I..."

Ah-Cong and I married three years later, and afterwards, I moved with him to Washington, D.C. Ah-Cong's popularity in the theater world grew rapidly; at a young age, he headlined several large-scale, lavish productions. Then, at the height of his fame, he abruptly retired from the limelight to work behind the scenes, eventually becoming a world-renowned director and screenwriter years later. And me…

"Mom, why is Qiongqiu called Qiongqiu?" My five-and-a-half-year-old son, Qiongqiu, looked up at me with his chubby face. The Eastern characters seemed obscure and difficult to understand for him, who had grown up in a Western environment. These kids...

“Qiongqiu means…” I glanced absently at a lotus pond in the courtyard, the lotuses in full bloom, their white and red petals shining brightly in the daylight. “Qiongqiu is… the person who loves you most…”

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