As she repeatedly shared her conjectures with Zou Yibei, one sentence from him sent chills down her spine.
"Qi Yi'an...do you know what you're doing?"
Yes, she's been searching for almost a year. No news at all. Like Xianglin's wife, she searches and laments day and night, yet remains completely unaware.
"..."
"..." Zou Yibei realized his attitude was a bit off and might be provoking Qi Yi'an, so he softened his tone, "An'an..."
"..." Qi Yi'an lay on the table, a long silence ensued.
After a long while, she asked, "Is she dead?"
Zou Yibei gazed sadly at those eyes filled with despair and tears, remaining silent.
"She's dead, isn't she..." Qi Yi'an choked up, his voice breaking as he nestled in her arms.
"That dream...it was something that actually happened...right?" Qi Yi'an looked up at Zou Yibei with tears streaming down his face.
Unable to withstand such a probing gaze, Zou Yibei lowered his head and remained silent.
"Ah..." Qi Yi'an clutched his head in pain, his voice hoarse as he questioned, "You all knew all along, didn't you... Why did you lie to me..."
"Why... why, all this year... why, knowing that I'm suffering so much searching for her... why!"
She pressed down on Zou Yibei, her breathing rapid, tears streaming down her face. "Say something! Zou Yibei, you fucking say something!"
"Why am I the only one who doesn't know how she died, when, and where she is now...?"
Zou Yibei, his eyes red-rimmed, hugged her tightly to calm her down. "An'an... calm down... calm down first..."
Qi Yi'an burst into tears in her arms, repeating something incoherently.
"...But I miss her so much..."
"...I miss her so much..."
-----
It has been a week since I returned home from the sanatorium.
Qin Ruoshui felt that she was acting strangely; some of her behaviors were completely irrational. For example, when she opened the refrigerator, she found a lot of milk, which she had ordered from the supermarket when she had it delivered to her door. She didn't really like milk and only added a little bit to her coffee sometimes; she didn't need so much. Qin Xinglan said that she hadn't ordered it either.
For example, sometimes when she remembers something, she'll inexplicably say to the family's AI, "Sera, call the child..."
"Sorry, we cannot find 'Little Friend' in your contacts."
Then she felt strange again. On the one hand, she couldn't understand why there were no children, and on the other hand, she couldn't remember who the children were. Then she even forgot what she wanted to say.
A whole host of strange things happened, and I even suspected I had Alzheimer's, but every time I went to the hospital for follow-up checkups, they couldn't find anything wrong with my brain. I did have a whole host of other problems, though.
For example, she became paralyzed in her lower limbs.
Although he finally woke up, he will likely spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. He also has many complications, making living a very difficult task.
Qin Xinglan had just taught her how to use the new electronic device; the time on the holographic projection was 15:13 on December 5, 2028.
What the heck?
A few months ago, when Qin Ruoshui woke up in the hospital, the scene felt similar to some of her previous dreams—boring and powerless. In the dream, her body was immobile; she could only slightly open her eyes to stare at the white, panel-like ceiling and the monotonous white lights. Occasionally, she could turn her eyes to look at the green curtains around her. The machines around her kept beeping monotonously, time stretched on endlessly, and the boundless emptiness was a form of mental torture. But this time, the dream was so long, so very long, and she just couldn't wake up.
She couldn't remember what had happened to her or why she was back here.
She didn't know how much time had passed when a figure approached her bedside. Her eyes followed the person's movements, and it took her a long time to focus.
It seemed to be a girl who looked about sixteen or seventeen years old, quietly sitting on the edge of the bed peeling fruit; the scent was of lychees. After finishing a bowl of lychees, the girl looked up and noticed Qin Ruoshui watching her. She washed her hands and helped Qin Ruoshui turn over, her movements so skillful and efficient that they didn't seem like those of a girl her age. Fortunately, this way Qin Ruoshui didn't have to keep glancing at her sideways.
Lying alone for so long, she was incredibly bored. Finally, someone came to keep her company and help relieve her boredom, which made Qin Ruoshui feel a little better. She watched as the girl patiently peeled and pitted the lychees, then put them into a food processor and blended them into a puree. The girl's face looked somewhat familiar, but Qin Ruoshui searched her memory for a while and really couldn't remember where she had seen her before.
"Ugh... why did you turn perfectly good lychees into a paste? What a weird flavor." She tried to open her mouth, but couldn't say a word.
"Auntie, just wait a little longer." The girl noticed her little action, reached out and held her hand; her hand was very warm.
Qin Ruoshui was unable to speak, her hands were immobile, and even her eye movements were extremely limited. But upon hearing those words, besides a moment of bewilderment, a cold rain and snowstorm swept over her.
Qin Xinglan. When did she grow up so much?
If it's her, then how long have I been lying here?
The girl filled a container that looked like a baby bottle with a paste of lychees, and carefully squeezed it into Qin Ruoshui's mouth little by little. Her taste buds seemed to slowly awaken; she could taste the sweet, fragrant juice flowing automatically down her tongue to her throat, which instinctively swallowed. So this was prepared for her… How embarrassing.
Qin Ruoshui observed the girl's face up close... her eyes resembled hers... resembled Qin Ye... resembled Xu Zhou...
Her heart and breathing were in turmoil. She just couldn't make a sound or move.
Qin Xinglan noticed that Qin Ruoshui's eyes suddenly widened and her breathing became irregular. Thinking she was choking, she quickly stopped feeding her and took emergency measures. She seemed to be talking to herself as she said to Qin Ruoshui, "Auntie, don't worry, it's okay, take your time."
After a while, confirming that everything was alright, she bent down and silently hugged Qin Ruoshui. Qin Ruoshui felt a slight, suppressed tremor in her body. Was she...crying...? She wanted to raise her hand to comfort her, but she couldn't move. Qin Ruoshui turned her eyes to look at the ceiling, her eyes feeling a little sore.
After a long while, Qin Xinglan straightened up, lowered her head, and wiped the corner of her eye. When she looked up again, her vision paused, then suddenly blurred. She saw the thin woman on the sickbed with wet eyes, her gaze slowly returning as if nourished by water. A single tear rolled down the fine lines at the corner of her eye.
Author's Note:
God help me pass today's exam!!! Please don't let me get fired!!!
Chapter 34 White Cliff at the Cape.
"Where do you plan to go next?" Li Feiyan leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, looking down at Qi Yi'an, who was kneeling on the floor packing his luggage. "Are you still looking for her?"
Qi Yi'an's hands didn't stop for a moment, and he said decisively, "I'm not looking anymore."
"Come with me on a vacation, okay?" Qi Yi'an turned around and looked at her calmly.
"Okay, where do you want to go?" Li Feiyan raised an eyebrow. Oh? Has she finally figured it out?
"J Islands".
-----
As the plane circled for landing, Qi Yi'an looked out the window and could see half of the island's outline. Below, the clear blue-green seawater and the egg-yolk yellow sandy beach remained.
"We're almost there."
She turned her gaze back to the cabin, but no one reached out to ruffle her hair. She responded to Li Feiyan with a faint, "Mm."
Stepping out of the plane, the warm, humid sea breeze and the lush green island broad-leaved trees were just as they had been years ago; time seemed to have stood still in this corner of the world. She felt like she must have lost her mind.
Time on the island stretched out leisurely. There were few cars on the road, and Qi Yi'an drove slowly along the coastal highway, admiring the mudflats, grasslands, and fields. The world was vibrant and bright, and Qi Yi'an couldn't help but think of her… long, slightly wavy hair, blue sunglasses, fair skin… red lips… like a shaky film.
So much so that these past few years seem so unreal.
Li Feiyan remained mostly silent, quietly observing Qi Yi'an's state behind her sunglasses. What was she thinking?
"Get out of the car," Qi Yi'an said, opening the car door for her. "The famous White Cliff Cape on the island should be accessible by walking from here."
They were now in a plain meadow. Looking out, under the blue sky and white clouds, there was a vast grassland, interspersed with low shrubs and slightly taller trees. The land undulated gently, with different layers of green overlapping, dotted with white wildflowers and old, whitened wooden fences. There were no humans in sight.
In the distance, there are a few scattered red-roofed houses, and closer by, there is only a small, faded telephone booth, a similarly old and whitish wooden road sign, and a bright red mailbox that looks freshly painted, all standing by the roadside.
"Brother Ren, would you like to come for a walk with us?" Qi Yi'an asked Li Feiyan's bodyguard in the car behind.
"You should go back and rest first," Li Feiyan said, turning to him. "We'll wander around on our own."
"yes."
A small path branched off from the highway, and the map indicated that they should follow it and cross a small bridge. After crossing the bridge, they saw a winding river meandering across the vast green plain. The river was narrow and shallow, but it generally flowed towards the sea. Since the sea wasn't yet in sight, they chose a walking path and strolled leisurely along the water.
Qi Yi'an walked ahead, with Li Feiyan following behind. "Have you been here before?"
"Yes, I came here when I was little, and I quite liked it." Qi Yi'an lowered his eyes secretly.
Along the road to the sea, the rolling plains resembled a woman's breathing body. The trees and clouds along the road were swayed by the sea breeze. Water plants and water birds grew along the meandering, gentle streams in the plains, and in the distance, herds of black and white cattle and sheep moved slowly to the right. The flocks of birds on the plains were occasionally startled by sheepdogs, circling and circling for a while before gradually settling down and settling back down, like waves.
There were only two people in the world.
The two walked slowly and deliberately in silence, listening to the sound of the ocean growing ever closer. After walking a little further, they reached the fence at the end of the meadow by the cliff, where the continuous white cliffs opposite were now fully visible. The scenery was exquisite and magnificent, just as it had been in years past.
Reaching the best viewpoint, Qi Yi'an stopped, gazing silently at the white cliffs. Since Qin Ruoshui left, she had become increasingly taciturn. The surging waves crashed into the bay here, seemingly vanishing without a sound. Just as Shakespeare said in Macbeth, "It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
At that moment, she thought, she probably loved her. Qi Yi'an thought.
Li Feiyan silently watched the figure standing on the edge of the cliff. Seabirds rose and fell along the cliff's edge.
“That wasn’t a dream, was it?” Qi Yi’an finally spoke.
-----
Qin Ruoshui's discharge from the hospital is only temporary. Having been diagnosed with brain death and in a coma for so many years, her recovery is a special case, requiring regular checkups at the hospital.
"It's not true..." Qin Ruoshui repeated the doctor's words in a daze, "It's not true..."
She suddenly became agitated, her eyes widening as she stared up at the doctor, her expression angry yet tinged with a strange smile. "What are you talking about... How could it not be true... How could it not be true?!" Qin Ruoshui felt that those things she seemed to have forgotten because of her coma, though incredibly vague, had truly existed. So many years of experiences—how could they be fake?
The young intern was startled, his lips pursed as he nervously stared at Qin Ruoshui. But then she seemed to suddenly become hysterical, grabbing the intern by the collar and screaming, "So much has happened, how could it not be true! Are you kidding me! Is this some kind of funny thing to do! How could it not be true!"
“Miss Qin… let go, we…” Qin Ruoshui’s voice was frighteningly hoarse, and her expression was strange and terrifying. Although her hand was weak, it was surprisingly strong, pale and trembling. “How could it not be real!!!” The intern looked towards the door in a panic, hoping someone could come in and help.
Hearing the calls, Li Feiyan rushed over, "What happened?"
"Dr. Li, you've finally arrived. I just asked Ms. Qin to talk about her memories and told her that those hallucinations weren't real, but for some reason, Ms. Qin became very agitated..."
Li Feiyan looked at the person in front of her with a solemn expression, seemingly lost in thought.
In a daze, Qin Ruoshui suddenly felt something tugging at her clothes. Turning around, she saw Qin Xinglan's hand hooking her sleeve. The young girl's eyes were clear and sorrowful, like someone... someone she couldn't place, someone she couldn't remember at all. Her heart softened instantly, a warm current flowing through her. She slowly released her hand, her head bowed for a moment, seemingly regaining some of her composure. "Dr. Li... Dr. Zhang... I'm sorry... I don't know what happened to me just now..."
What did she just say? Qin Ruoshui looked down at her hands, which were slowly regaining color... How could it not be real... What was she referring to? Why was she suddenly so agitated...?
Li Feiyan squatted down and met Qin Ruoshui's eyes in the wheelchair.
"Miss Qin, do you think those memories you can't remember might be dreams?"
"..."
"..."
In the silence, such similar eyes, that same despair.
I feel like I've seen Li Feiyan somewhere before.
“That wasn’t a dream, was it?” Qin Ruoshui finally spoke.
----
"What?" Li Feiyan lit a cigarette.