Energetic - Chapter 14
“How could I not search carefully? Besides, there’s no one around for dozens of miles, so it’s impossible that she was rescued by the locals,” Shang Minglun said firmly.
The air in the room fell into a deathly silence, and everyone's eyes were on Ling'er.
Ling'er looked blank and slowly said, "So, he really is lost?"
Shang Minglun nodded helplessly and advised, "Sister-in-law, you don't have to be too sad. I'll go back to Gansu tomorrow to look for him. I need to see him alive or dead. I won't have the face to come back if I can't find him."
Although the battle was won, the commander-in-chief was missing and his fate was unknown. Moreover, he was an important official in the court, so how could they not search for him? Shang Minglun handed the package in his hand to Ling'er and said, "These are things that my cousin usually carries with him. Cousin-in-law, I'm leaving now. Take care!" After saying that, he left the Suning Prince's Mansion.
Ling'er opened the package, and when she saw what was inside, she trembled. It contained Ling'er's hairpin and a handwritten note. She immediately unfolded the note; it contained a poem in Zhu Chengyu's handwriting, messy and illegible, covering the entire page, seemingly written in a moment of urgency: "We became husband and wife, our love unwavering. Joy in the present, tender moments in this auspicious time. The traveler, yearning for the distant road, rises to see how late the night is. The stars have all set; I must depart from here. My journey is on the battlefield; there is no date for our reunion. We clasp hands with a long sigh, tears streaming down our faces at this parting. Cherish the spring blossoms, never forget the joyful times. If I live, I will return; if I die, I will forever yearn for you."
After Ling'er finished reading the poem, everyone was stunned. Her heart trembled, and she kept repeating to herself, "If I live, I will return; if I die, I will long for you forever. If I live, I will return; if I die, I will long for you forever." Her eyes were like two bottomless pools, deep, hazy, and strange. Xiao He and Xi Mei were both frightened by her expression.
"Your Highness!" Xiao He called softly. Ling'er felt herself swaying and was about to fall. Xi Mei quickly steadied her. After Ling'er regained her balance, she slowly raised her hand, turned her back to them, and said softly, "I'm tired. I need some peace and quiet."
Xiaohe and Ximei exchanged a glance, and then went out.
Taoranxuan became so empty and lonely, and Ling'er looked so desolate and helpless. Finally, her tears flowed uncontrollably, rolling down her cheeks and onto her clothes. She sat there, her heart feeling as if it had fallen into a bottomless abyss.
After an unknown amount of time, the light in the room gradually dimmed. Ling'er looked up at the window and saw that the first morning star had pierced through the clouds and risen into the sky. In just a short while, the sky was filled with stars.
The wind rose, the night wind whistling through the pine forest and ancient locust trees, sighing softly, each sigh a call: Chengyu! Chengyu! Who could have imagined that that argument would become their permanent farewell!
Winter seemed to have arrived unusually early this year. The Prince of Suning's residence was shrouded in a thick, dark fog, and Shang Minglun had not returned since. Ling'er grew thinner, more haggard, pale and fragile. She still couldn't believe Zhu Chengyu was dead. But where had he gone? No one knew.
The first snow fell just as the twelfth lunar month began, reminding Ling'er of the Lantern Festival this year, when Ningyue, Miaowen, and Nanshan were reciting poems and eating glutinous rice balls together. Almost a year has passed in the blink of an eye. The three young ladies are now all married. Although Ling'er is the Princess of Suning, she is a recent widow. Ningyue has gone south with her grandson, Chenlin, while Miaowen has married into the Nan family. It is said that Nanshan's marriage is also imminent.
Xi Mei accompanied Ling'er to Yu Feng Pavilion to admire the snow. She looked up at the carved beams and painted rafters, the exquisite pavilions and terraces, and the layered courtyards covered in white snow, and it seemed that everywhere she looked, she could see the shadows of Zhu Chengyu and her playing together. But now, the huge garden was so desolate, and Ling'er couldn't help but feel lonely.
Xi Mei served a cup of tea. Ling'er lifted the lid; it was Biluochun, Zhu Chengyu's favorite. She gazed sadly and bitterly at the tea leaves in the cup, not taking a single sip. She wasn't looking at the tea leaves; her gaze passed through the cup, landing on an unknowable place.
Magpie Bridge Fairy
Reply [39]: While she was in a daze, she suddenly heard a very familiar, kind and gentle voice calling her from behind: "Ling'er!"
She looked up, her eyes suddenly lighting up. She turned around and saw that standing a few feet away was none other than Madam Nan! Ling'er felt as if she had fallen into an icy lake, the water cold and dark, her surroundings blank, the frigid water drowning and suffocating her. Seeing Madam Nan suddenly come to check on her was like grasping a piece of driftwood. She rushed over, tears welling up before she could speak, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Madam! I...I..." Her throat felt like it was stuffed with a raw egg, and tears streamed down her face.
Madam Nan gently patted her back, her eyes filled with tears, and comforted her, "Don't say anything, I know everything, my poor child, you've suffered so much! Let me see you."
Ling'er sobbed and slowly raised her head. What came into view was Madam Nan's loving face. Madam Nan hugged her and looked her over, pinching her wrist, touching her cheek, lifting her chin, and brushing her hair. She said in a trembling voice, "Ling'er, you've lost weight, and your hands are so cold."
She gently shook her head, invited Madam Nan to sit down, and then instructed Xiao He to serve tea.
"Madam, is everything alright at the manor?" Ling'er didn't want to cry in front of outsiders, and she didn't want to be presumptuous even in front of Madam Nan.
"Everything's fine, everything's alright," Mrs. Nan asked gently, "How are you?"
"Very good!" Ling'er said insincerely.
"Very good?" Madam Nan shook her head. "I don't think so. It must be that Ximei and the others didn't serve you well."
"No, Madam, it's just that I'm in a bad mood! It has nothing to do with them." Ling'er's eyes reddened again as she spoke, but she didn't let the tears fall.
"Ling'er, don't be like this. You'll make yourself sick if you keep this up." Madam Nan said with heartache, "Why don't you come back to the Nan residence with me for a while?"
Upon hearing Madam Nan's words, Xi Mei was the first to burst into laughter. However, Ling'er was in a bad mood, so she dared not laugh out loud, only secretly enjoying herself in her heart.
"Madam, I...I don't want to go back," she murmured.
"No! You must come back with me." Before Ling'er could speak, Madam Nan began to order, "Xi Mei, hurry up and help Ling'er pack her things so we can go back to the manor."
"Yes!" Xi Mei readily agreed and dashed off.
“Ling’er,” Madam Nan said sternly, “you are a daughter of the Nan family who has married out. I am your mother. How can you not listen to me? The New Year is just around the corner, and Ningyue and Chenlin have returned. Don’t you want to see her? Don’t you want to see the others? Master, Nanbin, Miaowen, Nanshan, and all the little maids at Wangyue Residence are looking forward to your return.”
Ling'er sighed softly, tears welling in her eyes, her face filled with a pitiful and tender expression. Madam Nan felt a pang of pain in her heart. She continued to persuade her, "I know you still think of Zhu Chengyu, but his fate is uncertain. If he really doesn't come back, are you really going to never return to your parents' home for the rest of your life? Besides, it's not like you're going to come back forever." Madam Nan's words came out like water poured out. Xiao He, who was standing by, couldn't bear to watch any longer and gently advised, "Your Highness, why don't you go back with Madam Nan for a while? It would be good for your mind."
Ling'er had no intention of arguing, and simply said, "I'll do as Madam commands!"
“Don’t call me Madam,” Madam Nan corrected, “Call me Mother.”
"Yes, Mother."
Ling'er summoned the accountant, gave him some instructions, and then took Ximei and Xiaohe back to the Nan residence with Madam Nan.
The Nan family has already begun preparations for the New Year. Miaowen, now the eldest young mistress, is busy with all the arrangements. In previous years, Ling'er had been in charge of these things, but now the responsibility has changed.
Ling'er returned to her long-lost Wangyue Residence, and to Ningyue and the group of little maids. In just one short year, such great changes had taken place, and the world was completely different.
"Ling'er, I miss you so much! I haven't stopped thinking about you for a single day. Don't you miss me? If you don't miss me, wouldn't I be at a disadvantage?" Although Ningyue was already married, she was no different from before she got married.
Ling'er forced a smile, "Since you married Chen Lin, when did you become so calculating? You're even afraid of being taken advantage of when you think of me!"
"Oh! I was just teasing you!" Ningyue suddenly hugged Ling'er tightly, saying, "Ling'er, you're so good! You're so good!" Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke.
"What's wrong, Ningyue? Why are you crying? Did Chenlin bully you? Tell me quickly, and if so, let's go and confront him."
"No, Ling'er! It wasn't Chen Lin, it was you! It was you! How can I ever thank you enough?" Ning Yue's tears flowed even faster as she rambled on and on. "If it weren't for you, how could Chen Lin and I be where we are today? If you hadn't taken my place in the marriage, the Nan family would probably have been doomed. Now that everyone is better off, you're doing this. How can I possibly accept this?"
Hearing her words, Ling'er couldn't help but shed tears. On the way here, she had kept telling herself that she should be happy when she returned to the Southern Mansion, and that she shouldn't cry or let others laugh at her. Who knew that as soon as she saw Ningyue, she didn't cry, but Ningyue started crying first, which also brought tears to her eyes.
"Don't cry, Ningyue," Ling'er said, wiping away Ningyue's tears with a handkerchief as always. "Don't blame yourself. This has nothing to do with you. It's just that I'm unlucky. It has nothing to do with anyone else."
"No! Ling'er, I feel even worse if you say that." She gazed at Ling'er, who was still the same Ling'er as before. She was intelligent, worldly-wise, and understanding, just like a year ago. However, her heart was wounded, and no matter who hurt her, Ningyue felt bad.
Magpie Bridge Fairy
Reply [40]: "Now it's all good, I'm back, and you're back too. Let's never be apart again, okay?" Ningyue said very sincerely.
"Okay! As long as you're happy," Ling'er replied perfunctorily.
Ningyue laughed, wiped away her tears, and took out many things she had bought for Ling'er. At the same time, she began to tell a lot about her experiences in the South, which made a group of girls sigh.
Ling'er looked at Ningyue, who was beaming with excitement, and couldn't help but shake her head. She really hadn't changed at all. She forgot that Ling'er had also gone out several times and even entered the palace. What new things hadn't she seen? Her grandstanding about her experiences in the south was nothing more than an attempt to distract Ling'er and make her stop thinking about Zhu Chengyu, but how could she not think about him?
That night, Ningyue insisted on sleeping with Ling'er, so Sun Chenlin had to go to Nanshan's place to find a place. Ling'er could tell that Chenlin treated Ningyue well; whenever she mentioned Chenlin, her eyes narrowed into slits, and she radiated a woman's happiness.
Ningyue kept pestering Ling'er with this and that, chatting for who knows how long, until dawn broke before she finally fell asleep. When she finally woke up, it was already broad daylight, and Ningyue was no longer by her side.
Previously, she always woke up earlier than Ningyue, but now the situation had reversed. Although this was in the Nan Mansion, Ling'er still felt somewhat humble. Just as she remembered this, she heard Madam Nan and Ningyue talking in the outer room.
"Is Ling'er still not up?" It was Madam Nan.
“Yes, Mother, I noticed she didn’t look well, so I let her sleep a little longer,” Ningyue said.
Madam Nan sighed and said, "Ling'er, why is your life so bitter? You became a widow at such a young age. How will you live your life from now on? Although she is the Princess Consort of Suning, how can outsiders know the bitterness in her heart when she is alone in her empty room?"
"Mother, wasn't it said that Prince Suning was just missing? If he really is dead, why hasn't anyone seen his body?"
“Isn’t that practically the same as being dead? Ningyue, Ling’er has done us a great favor, you must take good care of her. I always think that if we hadn’t married her off back then, things might not have come to this.” Madam Nan’s voice was full of guilt.
"Mother, please don't say that! Don't worry, I will take good care of Ling'er. Let's stop talking. It wouldn't be good if Ling'er heard us."
Madam Nan indeed stopped talking, but Ling'er had heard everything clearly. She was now unable to move or speak. Tears welled up again unbidden. She tried her best to hold them back, her whole body trembling, suppressing her sobs.
Ling'er, Ling'er, you've shed more tears in this year than in the previous nineteen years combined. Who did you offend? Why is he punishing you like this? What sins have you committed that he's torturing you like this?
After the Lantern Festival, the weather gradually warmed up, but Ling'er's mood did not improve with the arrival of spring. Nan Shan was already married, and everyone in the Nan family except Ling'er was in a couple. Although they all treated Ling'er very well, she couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Whenever this happened, she missed Zhu Chengyu even more.
In public, Ling'er's face already wore a smile, but her smile always carried a hint of sorrow, a touch of helplessness, and a pitiful sadness. Yet, she finally smiled. In private, however, she became increasingly withdrawn, quiet, and lonely. But she remained composed and elegant, gentle and meticulous; she couldn't bear to be ridiculed, and therefore always carried an air of unapproachable dignity.
Ningyue saw this and was anxious. She felt guilty towards Ling'er and tried everything to make her happy. As for Ling'er, she appeared happy on the surface, but her heart remained gloomy.
By this time, Ling'er had been living in the Southern Mansion for two months. She wanted to take her leave and return to the Suning Prince's Mansion, but Ningyue refused to let her go.
"Ling'er, don't be in such a hurry to leave." Ningyue said with a bitter face, "I've already had people prepare the Jicui Villa. I was planning to stay there with you for a few days. Why are you leaving so soon? You'll just be staying there anyway. Don't go."
"No, Ningyue, I really have to go back. I've been bothering your household for many days now."
"What?" Ningyue exclaimed dramatically, "So you don't consider this place your home?"
"No! No!" Ling'er hurriedly explained, "I absolutely did not mean that."
"So what do you mean?"
Ling'er sighed softly, "Ningyue, you know that's not what I meant, so why are you still arguing with me about this?" Upon hearing this, Ningyue's heart softened immediately, and she said, "Ling'er, I won't make things difficult for you. If you have something urgent to do and need to return to the manor, I shouldn't stop you. But what could be so urgent that you need to go back? Even if you really want to leave, you should at least tell your mother."
Actually, Ling'er had nothing to do when she went back; she just didn't want to stay in the Southern Mansion any longer. Seeing that Ling'er didn't speak, Ningyue became anxious and her face turned red, so she started using her usual patient and persistent methods again.
"Ling'er, please don't leave. When you first came, didn't you say you'd never be separated from me again? Why have you changed your mind? Besides, even if I were willing to let you go, Mother wouldn't agree. At least come with me to Jicui Villa for a few days. Chenlin has gone to the south again, and it would be so boring for me to go alone. Just keep me company, okay? Please." She gently shook Ling'er's body, pleading with her.
Ling'er looked at her helplessly. There was simply no way to deal with Ningyue. Ling'er nodded, acknowledging her agreement.
Jicui Courtyard is still Jicui Courtyard, unchanged. Ling'er revisited this familiar place and couldn't help but feel a surge of emotions.
Ningyue wanted to make Ling'er happy, so she took her to Baiyun Temple today, Wanyi Garden tomorrow, and climbed Xishan the day after. She practically took her to all the famous scenic spots in the area.
As for Ling'er, her mood had indeed improved. She knew that Ningyue always felt guilty, and if she kept a sullen face, Ningyue would feel even worse. She was trying her best to make herself happy and cheerful, to distract herself, to forget the sadness, the past, and Zhu Chengyu.
Only after being drunk do you know how strong the wine is; only after loving do you know how deep the affection is. Forget? How could that be possible?
Magpie Bridge Fairy
Reply [41]: Today, I originally planned to go to Guangji Temple to offer incense, but Ling'er found out early this morning that Ningyue was sick. It's easy to get sick now that the weather is so unpredictable.
“You must have caught a cold yesterday,” Ling’er said. “I think we shouldn’t go.”
"It's okay! It's okay! Who says I can't... Achoo! Achoo!" Ningyue started sneezing before she could even finish her sentence.
"Look at you, still saying you're fine, you can't even speak properly anymore."
"I'm really fine, my nose is just a little stuffy. The weather is so nice today, it would be a shame not to go out." Ningyue insisted on going out.
"If you're really sick, how am I supposed to explain this to Mother and Chenlin? Let's go back quickly." Ling'er said, pulling Ningyue along as they headed back.
"How about this, Ling'er, you go to Guangji Temple to offer incense yourself. I heard that the Buddha there is very efficacious. You can light an incense stick for me and pray that I get better soon. You can also ask him to bless our whole family with peace and good fortune. Wouldn't that be better?"
Ling'er hesitated for a moment and then said, "Alright then, I'll have Ximei stay with you. If you feel unwell, call a doctor quickly, don't delay."
Ling'er brought Xiao He to Guangji Temple alone. After offering incense, they decided to wander around since it was still early. Before they knew it, Ling'er and Xiao He had arrived at Jingxin Lake.
The lake water was still as clear as a mirror, but when the warm, clear sunlight shone on it, it turned into a shimmering blue expanse.
Ling'er gazed into the distance, where the mountains were tinged with dark green, and the water was clear with flowing clouds. A cold wind blew across the lake, and she couldn't help but shiver.
"Your Highness, are you cold? I'll go back and get you a cloak." Xiao He was very thoughtful; before Ling'er could even speak, she had already gone.
Ling'er walked alone to the lakeside, gazing at the water. Suddenly, why was her heart trembling so violently? Every nerve in her body ached, and a name surged and churned in her mind: Zhu Chengyu!
Chengyu, Chengyu, where are you? Do you know that there is a woman in this world who misses you every moment, who calls out for you in her heart every moment? Who can understand the pain in her heart? How many sleepless nights has she murmured your name? How many times has she woken from a cold dream, your image faintly floating before her eyes? Chengyu, Chengyu, if you are alive, please come back! Can you bear to let the woman who loves you be heartbroken and shed tears? Can you bear to let her suffer from endless longing? How cruel you are!
A pearl-like tear slid down Ling'er's face, quickly rolled down her clothes, and dripped into the lake.
Suddenly, she heard a light, masculine, familiar, and cheerful voice behind her reciting: "Spring outing, apricot blossoms blow all over my head, whose young man is that on the road, so dashing and charming."
Ling'er trembled. Heavens! Was she dreaming? How could she be here? How could someone be reciting poetry? And of all poems? The voice continued, "I intend to marry you, for life."