She kept comforting herself, saying that she dared not express her love because she didn't want to lose Tang Xue, she didn't want to become a stranger to Tang Xue, and she wanted to maintain contact with her.
As long as she doesn't say anything, and as long as Tang Xue doesn't realize her perverted thoughts, they will still be friends, still friends who can talk about anything.
But……
When she learned from Tang Xue that she had fallen for a girl, she was shocked. When she heard Tang Xue's feelings for that girl, she felt as if her heart had been torn into countless pieces, and she was numb with pain.
She couldn't understand why Tang Xue would like girls. Her orientation was perfectly normal. She had clearly had boyfriends before. She had clearly talked to her about her ideal type. She clearly liked boys.
She hides her feelings and doesn't dare to say a word because of this, but... she's in love with a woman, and that person isn't her.
If she had known earlier that Tang Xue might fall in love with a girl, she definitely wouldn't be the way she is now. She definitely, absolutely...
"Okay." Tang Xue sighed. This was an unexpected event; no one had anticipated it.
"Xiaoxue, can I ask you a question?" Xu Jiaying's voice was very soft, as if it would disappear without a trace if blown by a gentle breeze.
"Sure." Tang Xue was a little puzzled. Given their relationship, they would usually ask each other directly if there were any problems. This was the first time Xu Jiaying had used the question "Can I?" to speak to her.
"Xiaoxue, why did you fall in love with Lin Xiaoxiao? Why did you fall in love with a woman? You...don't you like boys?"
"Well..." Tang Xue hesitated for a moment, a smile playing on her lips. Thinking of Lin Xiaoxiao, her eyes softened. "I can't really explain it. By the time I realized it, I had already fallen in love with her."
The statement "Why do I like women?" is incorrect. It should be said that I like someone because that person is Lin Xiaoxiao.
Xu Jiaying: "It has nothing to do with gender."
“Yes, it has nothing to do with gender,” Tang Xue replied.
"I see." Xu Jiaying covered her eyes with her hand. "Xiaoxue, are you happy?"
"I am very happy." Tang Xue's voice was gentle. "Being with her makes me really, really happy."
“You are my best friend and the person I love most.” Xu Jiaying gripped her phone tightly.
Her fingertips were unhealthy and pale from the effort. She wanted to say her last words, but she couldn't.
She had always run away from him; she was so cowardly that she didn't even have the right to say the word "love."
If only she could have been braver, if only she could have stayed by her side, if only she hadn't been cowardly, if only she could have ignored what others thought, if only... if only...
But there are no "what ifs." The moment she chose to go abroad, she never had the chance to say "I love you" to her again.
"Jiaying?"
"Knowing you're happy puts my mind at ease, Xiaoxue. Best wishes to you." With a soft sigh, Xu Jiaying finished speaking.
"Jiaying, I feel like you're acting strange. And yesterday, were you trying to say something to me?" Tang Xue always felt that Xu Jiaying was a bit odd.
"Yesterday?" Xu Jiaying twitched the corner of her mouth. "Yes, it happened."
"Go on," Tang Xue said, instinctively sitting up straight.
"I just wanted to tell you that you and your partner only associate with people in the entertainment industry, and you only know good-looking people. If you find someone suitable, remember to introduce them to your sister."
Hiding her sadness, Xu Jiaying's voice carried a hint of laughter, "Sister, you've been single for so many years. Now that you've seen a young and handsome guy, you should think about your good sister too."
"Is this what you wanted to tell me?" Tang Xue frowned; something felt off.
“Of course, it’s not just that.” Xu Jiaying’s voice was teasing. “During that time, were you on top or on the bottom? I’m really curious.”
Tang Xue's face turned bright red, and she said irritably, "Be serious."
"How am I being inappropriate?" Xu Jiaying chuckled, but tears streamed down her face from between her fingers. "Xiaoxue, I wish you happiness. Okay, let's talk next time."
She hung up the phone immediately after speaking, afraid that if she had been any later, Tang Xue would have heard her sobbing.
Hearing the busy tone coming from the other end, Tang Xue stared blankly at her phone. She felt something was strange, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why.
"Xiaoxue." When Lin Xiaoxiao woke up and didn't see Tang Xue, she got up and went out to look for her.
"Xiaoxiao." Hearing the voice, Tang Xue looked up, her face still blank.
"What's wrong?" Lin Xiaoxiao walked over and sat down next to Tang Xue.
“Jiaying…” Tang Xue frowned, “I can’t explain why, but I always feel like she has something to say to me, but she doesn’t want to say it.”
Lin Xiaoxiao glanced at the phone in Tang Xue's hand and pursed her lips. "Everyone has secrets. If they don't want to talk about them, it's probably because it's not the right time yet. Even the best of friends have things they can't say out loud."
Lin Xiaoxiao is now certain that Xu Jiaying likes Tang Xue.
Lin Xiaoxiao didn't want to guess why the other party hadn't confessed all these years, but she was also glad that the other party hadn't confessed, because it was because of her concession that she was able to have Tang Xue.
As for now, since Xu Jiaying has no intention of saying it out loud, Lin Xiaoxiao naturally won't take the initiative to expose it.
Besides, she didn't really want Tang Xue to know how Xu Jiaying felt about her. This was the best outcome. Lin Xiaoxiao was happy to see Xu Jiaying maintain their friendship.
After all, they don't meet often; they just talk on the phone occasionally. Lin Xiaoxiao isn't that petty.
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Author's Note:
Thank you to all the little angels who voted for me or watered my plants with nutrient solution between 2022-06-01 20:38:27 and 2022-06-04 22:15:04!
Thank you to the little angel who watered the nutrient solution: N 1 bottle;
Thank you so much for your support! I will continue to work hard!
Chapter 150 Extra 2
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Tang Xue felt that Lin Xiaoxiao had been acting strangely these past two days. She would often stare at her blankly, and sometimes her gaze was filled with hesitation and struggle.
It was as if she had something very important to tell him, but had no idea how to begin.
Although Tang Xue had already noticed, she didn't ask immediately. Since Lin Xiaoxiao was still struggling and hesitating, it meant that she wasn't ready yet.
Tang Xue thought that Lin Xiaoxiao would probably come to her about it in a couple of days once she had figured things out, but a week passed before she could finish.
That day, after the two finished dinner and tidied up, they went to bed and got into bed. Tang Xue picked up the book that was placed on the bedside table and started to read it.
Although her eyes were fixed on the book, her attention was entirely focused on Lin Xiaoxiao.
Tang Xue couldn't understand what Lin Xiaoxiao wanted to say to her that made her so hesitant.
After a while, Tang Xue closed the book in her hand. She had been feeling a bit anxious these past few days because of Lin Xiaoxiao.
Tang Xue was very nervous because she didn't know what Lin Xiaoxiao wanted to say to her.
However, after waiting for several days without Lin Xiaoxiao speaking, Tang Xue realized that it was unlikely that Lin Xiaoxiao would take the initiative to speak.
However, she didn't want to wait any longer; it was better for the days they were both suffering to end as soon as possible.
"Xiaoxiao." Tang Xue put the book back and turned to look at Lin Xiaoxiao beside her.
"What's wrong?" Lin Xiaoxiao turned to look at her.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" Tang Xue looked at Lin Xiaoxiao gently, her soft voice carrying a strange soothing effect.
"I……"
Lin Xiaoxiao bit her lip. She did have something she wanted to tell Tang Xue, but she hesitated. She didn't know whether she should tell Tang Xue or not. This was her biggest secret.
She wasn't sure if Tang Xue would be scared after she spoke out, if she would think of her as a demon who had possessed someone else's body, or if she would hate her. These were all things she couldn't predict.
In fact, she could have kept this secret in her heart forever, without telling anyone, until the end of her life.
But she and Tang Xue were already married, and they were each other's most important people. Tang Xue had the right to know about this, and she couldn't deprive Tang Xue of her right to know just because she was afraid.
"Xiaoxue, let me tell you a story." In the end, Lin Xiaoxiao made up her mind.
"Telling stories?" Tang Xue was puzzled. She really couldn't understand why their conversation had suddenly shifted to storytelling.
"Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was abandoned by her parents when she was very young. She grew up in an orphanage."
Without answering Tang Xue's question, Lin Xiaoxiao stared at the ceiling, her eyes somewhat vacant, her thoughts drifting away as she spoke.
"Life in the orphanage wasn't happy, but she learned a lot of skills, the most important of which was that no matter what happens, you just have to smile."
Because children who smile get candy, and children who smile and are well-behaved will be favored by the headmaster.
Although she was well-behaved, cheerful, and obedient, no one was willing to adopt her. No matter how much she tried to please those who came to the orphanage, her name never appeared on the adoption list.
Lin Xiaoxiao lowered her eyes and gripped the bed sheet tightly with both hands. The time she spent in the orphanage was not happy for her.
Because she was too obedient, she always had to share her things with others, and she was often hungry, yet she couldn't confide in anyone.
In that place, she learned to be cautious, to read people's expressions, and to be courteous to others, but she never learned how to love herself.
"Although life in the orphanage was not happy, when she was eight years old, she was adopted by a rural couple. She finally had a father and mother and a home of her own."
Her parents treated her very well. They would save the best food for her, and her father would take her to the river to catch fish and to the mountains to pick wild fruits.
Although she always came back covered in dirt, her mother never scolded her. Instead, she would gently find her clean clothes and wash her until she smelled nice.
Life with her parents was happy because she finally had people who loved her.
Recalling that time, Lin Xiaoxiao's lips curled into a slight smile, and her eyes were filled with longing and nostalgia.
Tang Xue listened quietly as Lin Xiaoxiao began her story, and as the explanation deepened, Tang Xue noticed the changes in Lin Xiaoxiao's emotions.
When she saw Lin Xiaoxiao's expression, her mind was filled with questions. The story Lin Xiaoxiao told always made Tang Xue feel like Lin Xiaoxiao was telling her own story.
Lin Xiaoxiao is the president of the Lin Group. Her parents are also prominent figures in the business world. There had never been any reports before that Lin Xiaoxiao was an orphan when she was young.
Tang Xue felt like the questions in her head were about to burst out, but she listened quietly without interrupting Lin Xiaoxiao's story.
"Those years were very happy. She finally experienced the love of her father and mother and the warmth of home. Unfortunately, the good times didn't last long."
An accident left her an orphan once again, and she was sent back to the orphanage.
Lin Xiaoxiao's voice trembled slightly, and her eyes were filled with pain. In a daze, she seemed to have returned to that night when the accident happened.
"Xiaoxiao, let go, be good." Tang Xue hugged Lin Xiaoxiao and gently stroked her back. Her soft and gentle voice slowly dispelled the sadness in Lin Xiaoxiao's heart.
"It's all over, everything is over." Lin Xiaoxiao's pain was real, as if... she had really experienced all of this herself.
But why? Tang Xue wondered.
After being comforted by Tang Xue, Lin Xiaoxiao gradually calmed down. She nuzzled Tang Xue's neck and whispered, "I'm fine now."
"Little one".