****
On the way back to Prince Zhao's residence, Yun Lie held Luo Cuiwei in the carriage, and they remained silent for a long time.
Luo Cuiwei sighed softly, took Yun Lie's hand, and asked gently, "Why didn't you let me explain just now?"
“There’s no need for that. As long as I don’t do what she wants, I’m wrong in her eyes,” Yun Lie said, grasping her fingertips with his hand, his eyes lowered, his smile forced. “But I’ve never let her have her way.”
"But……"
“She has always looked down on me, thinking that I am inferior to others in everything,” Yun Lie curled his lips, a faint coldness in his eyes, “If I weren’t her only child, I’m afraid she wouldn’t want me to exist in this world at all.”
Luo Cuiwei was startled. "No, no, you're not misunderstanding something, you're just overthinking..."
"I wasn't thinking anything." Yun Lie closed his eyes, rested the back of his head against the car wall, and held her arms tightly.
The princes and princesses lived in the inner city during their childhood and studied and practiced martial arts together, making it easy to distinguish their superiority or inferiority through comparison.
As a child, Yun Lie was not particularly gifted, and he was also stubborn. He didn't know how to use flattery or ingratiation to gain attention from others, which made him inconspicuous among his brothers and sisters of the same age.
Especially in front of Emperor Xianlong, who seemed to never remember who his children were, it was even harder for him to stand out.
This situation was undoubtedly a heavy blow to Jiang Ronghua, who only had Yun Lie as her child.
Emperor Xianlong's interest in her was merely a passing fancy. Whether she was lucky or unlucky, she became pregnant after receiving his favor for one night.
Although she escaped the fate of a palace maid because of her pregnancy and was granted the title of "waiting-for-the-official," she was still the lowest-ranking concubine in the harem.
To make matters worse for her, Emperor Xianlong never visited her again after she became pregnant.
“According to the Yun family genealogy, in our generation, the boys’ names are related to fire and the girls’ names are related to water,” Yun Lie said with a faint smile, utterly helpless. “It is said that when he received the news of my birth, that old man was momentarily stumped and couldn’t think of any characters related to fire.”
Emperor Xianlong at that time could hardly remember what the woman who gave birth to this child looked like, so he naturally didn't care much about the child.
After all, he had a full harem, and he had no shortage of children or women who would bear his children.
So, not wanting to put in any more effort, he casually said, "Let's just use the character '烈' (lie), it'll do, it'll be considered a fire-related character."
And so, Yun Lie became the first prince of their generation to have a name that was "just so-so, like fire."
The harem is never short of people who are good at reading people's expressions and who fawn over the powerful. Just from the name "Yun Lie," which barely makes it into the family genealogy, everyone knows that this mother and son have no weight in His Majesty's heart.
Luo Cuiwei nestled tightly in Yun Lie's arms and whispered, "Was it like in the storybooks, that I was bullied, mistreated, and treated harshly?"
"What kind of strange novels do you read?" Yun Lie chuckled lightly. "Actually, there's no inhumane bullying or mistreatment, it's just that you turn a blind eye."
Those past events that were "turned a blind eye" might be better told to outsiders than the bloody bullying and treachery in the stories; but for those involved, the loneliness, hopelessness, and bewilderment during those years of being completely ignored and left to fend for themselves were perhaps worse than injury or death.
At that time, Jiang Ronghua, who was only a low-ranking "waiting-for-a-treaty" official, was in the prime of her life and was naturally unwilling to accept this situation.
She had thought that once Yun Lie grew older and became outstanding enough to attract the attention of Emperor Xianlong, her hard days would finally come to an end.
To her surprise, everything turned out to be completely contrary to her expectations. The young Yun Lie did not show any outstanding talent, nor was he well-behaved or likable. Occasionally, when he finally got to show his face in front of Emperor Xianlong at a grand palace gathering, Emperor Xianlong could not even call out his name immediately.
However, Yun Huan and Yun tide, who were close in age, knew how to win Emperor Xianlong's attention and favor, and his love and favor towards them grew stronger day by day.
Such a stark contrast led Jiang Ronghua to attribute all the loneliness, hardship, torment, and despair of the first half of her life to Yun Lie.
This wasn't the kind of child she wanted, but she had nothing else besides this child.
“When I was little, she would be in pain and angry whenever she saw me. Sometimes she couldn’t control herself and would even throw things at me.”
"W-what! What kind of mother does this?!" Luo Cuiwei was both shocked and angry, and hugged Yun Lie's neck tightly.
This was quite unbelievable to her.
Even with her stepmother, she had never been treated like this. She simply couldn't understand why a mother could treat her own child this way.
“I tried to do things to make her happy, but…” Yun Lie’s lips curled into a self-deprecating smile, “At that time, I felt that I might not be her son, but her enemy.”
Perhaps the images in his memories stung him, making him unwilling to recount those past events again. Instead, he said in a teasing tone, "Later I gradually realized that no matter what kind of person I become, as long as I am me, she can never truly love me. There's no need to force it."
The book says that one cannot choose who their father or mother is, but they can choose their friends, partners, and wife.
Therefore, young Yun Lie waited for himself to grow up, to grow up enough to step out of the palace walls and into the vast world, to meet people who love him amidst the bustling crowds.
He thought that among so many people in this world, there must be someone who likes him and needs him.
Fortunately, he arrived in Linchuan and found comrades, partners, and friends. So he protected them with all his might, and no matter how difficult things were for him, he never abandoned any of them.
Luo Cuiwei pressed her face against his neck, her eyes burning.
She suddenly understood why Yun Lie always emphasized that she was the one who liked him first.
Because that was his deepest desire, something that young Yun Lie had always longed for but could never obtain.
"I will treat you very well," Luo Cuiwei murmured.
Yun Lie suppressed his sadness and looked down at her strangely for a while before he couldn't help but reach out and pinch her cheek. "Why are you interrupting me?"
Luo Cuiwei was amused by him, and the tears in her eyes instantly disappeared. "Since I've already said all the nice things, then you don't need to say anything. Just show me how good you are to me through your actions."
"Physical...practice?" Yun Lie raised an eyebrow strangely, his expression suddenly becoming somewhat indescribable.
Luo Cuiwei was startled by his appearance and quickly covered his eyes, saying, "Get rid of those messy images in your head!"
****
On the 21st day of the eighth month of the 42nd year of Xianlong, Yun Lie and Luo Cuiwei arrived in Linchuan and settled in a small village about 50 miles away from the Linchuan defense zone.