I started working, but I'm someone who can't settle down. Fang Cheng asked me to solicit manuscripts, which seemed to suit my personality. However, I wasn't happy. Talking with writers, even without getting any manuscripts, was a learning process. I understood his good intentions, but I felt lost. I felt I really wasn't suited for this job! Fang Cheng, on the other hand, worked in the back office, responsible for editing and reviewing submissions. It felt like we were on the same assembly line. The editorial department was very different from the glamorous image I had outside. Everyone there was just an ordinary person, with ordinary joys and sorrows. Although our magazine was a monthly publication, we always faced a shortage of manuscripts when it came time to compile a collection. Thousands upon thousands of manuscripts were sent in every day, but only a few were actually used. In the last few days, it seemed like all the editors were mobilized to ghostwrite. Fang Cheng wrote the most. He was quick, had a versatile writing style, and could be pasted under a different name almost undetectable. This impressed the senior editor, who often said he was a talented person! He seemed like someone very suitable for this job! But I didn't believe it. I felt it was deceptive. The older folks at Kexingli said it was standard practice; to maintain the publication's quality, this was the way to do it. I felt that it was their business if others did it this way, but Fang Cheng shouldn't have done it; it was spineless. I always wanted to talk to him, but as soon as I got off work, he would disappear without a trace, and I didn't want to go to his little apartment. The feeling at that time was very subtle; I didn't really want to see him. At that time, I was trying hard to forget him.
My sister helped Xiao Ming with the transfer procedures and went back once more. I don't know what she said to Zhou Dazheng, but when she came back, she told us that she and Zhou Dazheng had resolved their issues. I didn't understand what "resolved" meant. She said she had a deep talk with Uncle Zhou, and she told him that if he asked her to stay, she would stay. Uncle Zhou looked at her and smiled. He said he knew that if he asked her to stay and forced her to stay, she would already be his wife, maybe even have children. But he didn't want that. He had his pride as a man; he wanted her to truly love him and marry him wholeheartedly. Actually, he had known for a long time that she couldn't come back, but he was unwilling to give up. Waiting had become the most important thing in his life. Finally, he said he was very moved by his illness; he hadn't expected that his sister would fly back to take care of him after he casually mentioned it. Actually, that was enough. He didn't want his sister to always see their years together as a burden. There was no burden, because he hadn't done anything. He loved me because he truly considered me his daughter, even though it's strange, that's how he saw it. He was kind to his maternal grandparents because he respected them, not because of his sister. He didn't bother with favors. These years together had also given him a lot; he couldn't imagine that we lived so confidently and happily despite our circumstances, living lives that moved him deeply. When he was tired, he wanted to go to our home, where he felt incredibly comfortable and warm! So his sister doesn't owe him anything, and shouldn't feel guilty! That day was the first time I truly understood Uncle Zhou and why his sister liked him; she seemed very disappointed that day! Uncle Zhou is truly a gentleman.
The older sister and Xiao Ming got along better and better. She said it was Fang Cheng who said that no matter how much they hated their father, Xiao Ming was still their younger brother! She really took it to heart; she seemed to really listen to Fang Cheng's words.
Two months into my job, I finally saw Fang Cheng when I returned to the editorial office. He was emaciated, looking like a caveman. He weakly waved to me. The deadline had passed, and there wasn't much of a person left in the editorial office. I touched his head. "Are you sick?"
"It's nothing!" He seemed like he hadn't eaten for days. I helped him up, and he didn't refuse, coming home with me. Once home, I wanted to help him to Xiao Ming's room to lie down, but he shook his head and sprawled out on the sofa, sleeping like a log. Looking at his sleeping face, I felt a pang of sadness. What had he been doing these past two months? Exhausting himself like this! I stared blankly for a while. We seemed to have known each other for a lifetime, but why did I always feel like I didn't understand him at all, and was understanding him less and less? I didn't even know what I was thinking, but I still jumped up and went to the supermarket to buy a chicken! It was a clean, slaughtered chicken; I wanted to make chicken soup. But from the time I bought it until Xiao Ming came home, I just stood there staring at the cleaver! I kept asking myself, what am I doing? What's the point of making chicken soup for him? He doesn't belong to me!
"What about him?!" Xiao Ming walked straight into the kitchen and asked me. He looked at me, then at the chicken, "Are you going to make chicken soup?"
"Do you know how to do this? Just throw the chicken into the water to boil, or do you need to do something else?" I looked at him. "Do you need to add any seasonings?" I pointed the knife at him, and he looked at it and thought for a moment.
"Should we go buy a cookbook?" he asked, feigning seriousness, and we all laughed.
"What happened to him?" My sister came back too. She saw Fang Cheng on the sofa and casually grabbed a blanket to cover him. She came over to ask me then. I had forgotten it was hot and turned on the air conditioner as soon as I came in. No wonder he had curled up into a ball. I've never been as thoughtful and considerate as her. Seeing the blanket, I forgot she was asking me a question. She saw the knife in my hand and the chicken that had been on the cutting board for a long time.
"Yingying, are you planning to make him chicken soup? Let the woman he loves take him back! Who do you think you are to make him chicken soup?" My sister nudged me and glanced at me sideways.
"You do it!" I didn't explain, just shoved the knife into her hand. She glared at me, but still chopped the chicken, stir-fried it with ginger slices, and then put it in the pot to cook. She worked quickly and efficiently, without getting her suit dirty at all. She looked beautiful as she worked. I leaned against the kitchen door frame, observing her every move. Fang Cheng had indeed chosen the right person; she was the perfect wife.
"What are you looking at? By the way, how did he poop?" After she finished, she washed her hands and patted my forehead with her wet hands. Was that icy feeling meant to wake me up? I don't know.
"I don't know, I just saw him like this, so I had no choice but to bring him back!" I shrugged, trying to sound relaxed, but I was incredibly frustrated inside because I really didn't know what was wrong with him. I couldn't answer their questions, and what good were friends?
Dinner was simple. I didn't wake him up to eat, intending to wait until the chicken soup was ready so he could sleep a little longer. The soup simmered for five hours before my sister said it was done. I quickly and carefully ladled out a bowl, woke him up, and gently fed him. He remained in a semi-conscious state. My sister and Xiao Ming kept watching me, their eyes filled with worry. She pulled me into her room, and Xiao Ming followed.
"Why don't you say you love him?" She stared into my eyes.
"Sis! He's my friend, my only friend, so I've only brought him home and only mentioned him to you, because he's my only friend!" I hurriedly explained, "Just like he would do the same if I needed something, I..."
"How about I help you?" She grabbed my waving hand. I had forgotten that she was the one who raised me. My every word and action was under her watchful eye. What could I possibly hide from her?
"Help me get him back? He was never mine to begin with. Even if I did, what then? What if Xiao Ming's mother got Dad? He died calling for Mom's name! No! I don't want to suffer like that. All I want is a man who loves me wholeheartedly, not a man who loves someone else! Do you understand? Four years. He's loved that woman for four years. I've witnessed their love. I'm willing to let them be together, understand?" Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. My sister hugged me tightly, her heart aching.
"fool!"
"Sister, you are the only person I love in this world. I only love you, understand?"
“We’re talking about Fang Cheng now!” she glared at me.
"Sister!" I cried, both amused and exasperated. "Sister! I know you love me. If you could, you would give me the best things in the world, but what good would it do? You should know what you can and can't have. You helped me steal someone else's love, and in the end, I lost my best friend, he lost the person he loved most, and that woman lost a man who truly loved her. What's the point? Some things can be fought for, some things can't, sister! Fang Cheng loves you, he trusts you! He considers this his home. Don't let him down, don't let him down, don't let him down, don't let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, let him down, I felt so tired. So tired!"
The next morning, Fang Cheng woke me up early. He had cooked chicken noodle soup and seemed to be in good spirits. At the breakfast table, everyone was quiet except for him, who was beaming. I knew they were all worried about what had happened yesterday. I smiled at him, "What's wrong with you? You look like a ghost!"
"Here you go!" He gave each of us a book, *Six Kinds of Love*, by Fang Cheng. The books were well-printed; it seemed he'd been busy with this for the past two months.
"He finished it in just two months!" I put down my chopsticks, flipped through it, and hoped his debut work would be meticulously crafted. An invisible concern.
"I finished it before graduation. I've been discussing and revising with the publisher for the past two months, and dealing with publishing and distribution matters. It's being released nationwide today." He really kept it tightly under wraps. I flipped through it; it was somewhere between serious and popular, the writing was quite elegant. I took the book and went back to my room, forgetting everything else. I read the book very carefully, writing down my evaluation of him on paper. It took me all day. Fang Cheng brought me lunch; I knew I ate, but I didn't know what I ate. It's not that his book was particularly good, but it's a habit—I'm always this meticulous when I read. After I finished reading it, I came out of my room and handed him my densely written reading notes, rubbing my face. "It's all in there, read it yourself. Overall, you should have more depth!" I stretched, only then realizing that my sister and Xiao Ming had already returned.
"Don't be too harsh! I took a look during my lunch break, and it's pretty good! Is it about your middle school days? Is Yingying based on someone?" The older sister smiled. She had also bought a bottle of red wine, probably to celebrate for him.
"Sis, a good novel isn't just about being interesting!" I rolled my eyes at my sister and sat down. "But it's still worth celebrating, you're the first among our classmates to publish a book, right?!"
“You can too, you’ve always been more talented than me!” he said with a gentle smile.
"Is there payment for the articles? Is it a lot?"
"I don't know. This time I adopted a revenue-sharing model, so I only get paid when the product is sold."
"Are you short of money? I have some savings, just say the word!" His sister was very perceptive. He shook his head and smiled.
"I just wanted to test my abilities. I'm already working on my second book, and I'll have to go into seclusion again after this meal." He ate his food heartily, as if he hadn't had a proper meal in a long time.
"What's the rush? A tiger might bite your butt! Why can't you calm down and meticulously craft a good book?!" I was both anxious and angry.
"Yeah! It's huge!" he laughed, and I almost threw my chopsticks at him.
"What's all the fuss about?" My sister looked at us. She didn't understand me, and I understood myself. I glared at him angrily. He didn't explain. My sister saw us standing there, frozen in place, and smiled. "It's a good thing that Fang Cheng is publishing a book. He must have a reason for wanting to write more, right? But Yingying is just worried about you. It's too rushed. It's bad for your health and you won't be able to produce anything. It's not worth it!"
"I know!" He seemed deeply moved, smiling like a fool.
"Idiot! How long do you plan to drag this out?" I kicked him.
"What?" He was taken aback.
"Speak up! So I won't have to take the blame for you all the time!" He understood, his face flushed red, and he became a little shy.
"I want to finish writing this book first!"
"Even if you don't write anything, you still have to speak up when necessary! If you don't have the guts, I won't help you!" I said angrily. He trembled, held his wine glass, looked at me, thought for a moment, and then downed the wine in one gulp. It was just a glass of red wine, but for someone with little alcohol tolerance, it was enough. My sister didn't know what he was going to say, but she had a bad feeling and was a little nervous. Xiao Ming silently lowered his head; he dared not look, dared not listen, yet he couldn't leave. I suddenly felt that perhaps he was the most successful of the three of us siblings in the future; Father had raised him very well. Looking at Fang Cheng again, he finally raised his flushed face.
"Xiao Qin, give me a chance to pursue you!" He didn't say it as a question, but as a statement. Looking at my sister, I felt nothing at that moment.
The older sister paused for a moment, just a moment, and without thinking, she smiled and said calmly, "Xiao Ming, Brother Cheng is drunk, you should take him home!" But her eyes turned cold in an instant.
"I'm not out of my mind! I love you, Xiao Qin! You've always been the one I love!" His voice was loud and resolute.
My sister gave me a cold look, then turned to him. "What do you love about me? My looks, my gentleness, my competence, or the feeling of home I gave you? Or your childish, ignorant Oedipus complex? Go back! I'll pretend you're drunk!" She was angry. Someone who truly loved her was proposing to her, and she got angry! What's wrong with this world? I laughed. I drank another glass; I can't hold my liquor. I chuckled.
"Sister, give him a chance. He's come back more often than I have in the past four years. Don't you like him? Compared to Uncle Zhou, I'd rather call him brother-in-law!"
“Shut up!” she glared at me.
"It's just giving him a chance to pursue you, what's there to be afraid of? Nobody's forcing you to marry him. If you feel it's not right, dump him, and he'll be more likely to give up. If you don't even give him a chance, won't you be letting him live in the shadow of heartbreak for the rest of his life? Fang Cheng could be a tragic writer!" I think I'm the one who's drunk. I stood up and staggered towards the room, thinking for a moment at the door, "Next time you write a book, you have to let me see it first. I can't let you ruin yourself!"
The next day, Xiao Ming told me that Fang Cheng left disappointed. I didn't comment on the whole thing; I had done all I could, and what he did next was his own business. My sister was silent, without a trace of a smile on her face. I didn't say anything either. We ate breakfast in silence. Xiao Ming went to get the newspaper to avoid the conversation. When he came back, he placed an unstamped letter in front of my sister. The handwriting clearly indicated it was from Fang Cheng. She didn't touch the letter; she just looked at me.
"I didn't do anything, I didn't betray you. Whether you marry Uncle Zhou or Fang Cheng is the same to me, because their only thing in common is that they truly love you. I don't know if they can bring you happiness, and I can't make that decision for you! But Fang Cheng will get my friendship points!" I quickly clarified.
She opened the letter, read it quietly, and placed it on the table without any emotional fluctuation before grabbing her things and going to work. Fang Cheng's letter remained on the table. If she had torn it up or ignored it, I might have been a little happier. That would at least show she was resisting the situation, that she still had feelings for him. But no, she was immune to all temptations! Because of her beauty and competence, she had received countless love letters and dealt with countless suitors every day since junior high. Fang Cheng was probably the most inconspicuous among them. For someone she had always thought would be her brother-in-law to tell her that he was the one she loved, her heart would be greatly tipped. I accepted the letter but didn't read it, placing it on my sister's desk. Xiao Ming glanced at me.
Chapter 5
"Will my older sister agree?" Xiao Ming asked me.
"Yes! There aren't many men who can be by her side. Besides, if she really loved Uncle Zhou, she would have married him long ago!" My confidence in Fang Cheng surprised even myself.
"But my older sister already knows you love Brother Cheng!" He wasn't optimistic.
"Even if I don't want him, I won't let him get away with it. I'm not that stupid!" I had already thought it through.
"But she can't get over her own conscience!" He grabbed his bag and left. I was left alone at home. Yes, my sister couldn't get over her own conscience either. Stealing the person her younger sister liked—how could she possibly be interested in Fang Cheng when she knew I liked him?! When I was alone in the house, tears welled up in my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying.
Every morning after that, my sister would receive a letter from him at breakfast. She became increasingly restless and quiet, and I had few opportunities to see Fang Cheng. He was just as busy as he had been for the past two months. At work, he had to proofread and write manuscripts; after get off work, he had to finish his novel. I noticed that Fang Cheng's articles had appeared in other publications. Was he earning extra money? Although he used pen names, and several at that, after reading so many of his articles, I could recognize them instantly. All in all, he devoted all his time to writing.
The second book came out three months later. He didn't show it to me beforehand because "Six Kinds of Love" was a huge success. This book, "A Circuitous Way to Show Love," gave the publisher and distributor a lot of confidence. They printed 50,000 copies right away, and everything went smoothly, with almost no obstacles, as it was released nationwide. There are no sales rankings here, but bestsellers always have a response. He became a real sensation overnight.
To catch him, I went back to the office early. He was engrossed in writing, his back hunched over, looking like a little old man. Where had the chubby, carefree Fang Cheng gone? I felt a pang of sadness. I watched him the whole time. After a long while, he got tired, rubbed his eyes, and only then did he notice my presence.
"Are you short of money?" I didn't want to beat around the bush.
"I want to prove to Xiao Qin that I can give her more security than Zhou Dazheng!" Because we are friends, he didn't explain much to me and was very straightforward.
"Security isn't something you can measure with money! You've exhausted yourself like this, what kind of security can you give her? How long has it been since you ate or slept properly?" I felt so sorry for her, but I couldn't say it.
"Have you read 'Indirect Ways of Expressing Love'?" He was tired and didn't want to argue with me, so he closed his eyes to rest. He didn't give us that book; I bought it myself at the bookstore. Judging from the bookstore's situation, this book should be a bestseller, but it's much worse than the previous one. You could describe it as poorly made. However, it suits the tastes of the masses, is witty and humorous, has elegant language, and a fresh and natural style.
"It's much worse than the last one!" I said coldly.
“I know, but the experts say it will sell even better than ‘Six Kinds of Love’!” he laughed. “They’ve already invited me to write a third book. The profit-sharing ratio has also increased.” He’s practically obsessed with money.
"You're planning to use a wad of cash to woo my sister? Is that how you see her—all money and no brains?" I laughed angrily.
"If she really loved money, she would have married Zhou Dazheng long ago. He's truly wealthy! Is she any good?"
"It's alright. I read your letters every day, and now I know to fold them up and put them in an envelope to keep them safe."
"Isn't that a good sign?" he said with a smile.
"Yes!" I was too exhausted to continue talking to him, and I didn't want to ask him how he planned to make his move on my sister, but I felt that he seemed to have a plan in mind.
In December, my sister suddenly told us that Fang Cheng would be coming. Xiao Ming and I were stunned for a moment before we realized that he had really faded out of our lives over the past six months.
“We want to buy a house!” she said cautiously, a little flustered. “It’s quite expensive here, and the environment there is terrible. Paying rent in both places is almost the same as buying a house!” Her face turned slightly red.
"Buy a house! Are you getting married?" What did I miss? I thought about it, and I didn't know what had happened during this time. My sister was working, and apart from that daily letter, I couldn't see anything wrong with her! No, I should say I couldn't see any signs that she was in a relationship.
She understood what I meant and shook her head. "I'm too old for your romance! We... no, I want a simple, stable relationship. I don't like being pressured! He's alright." She seemed uncertain, but she was naive. Wait a minute! I suddenly thought of him.
"You wouldn't...no...he wouldn't be working so hard to earn money just to help you buy a house, would he!"
"I didn't know writing could earn so much money?!" The older sister smiled sweetly. Yes, the older sister wasn't greedy for money, but he wanted sincerity. Fang Cheng's sincerity towards her was to buy a house with her and take care of us together! He knew that the older sister hated people who pestered her, so he used a smarter and more civilized method.
"Is it for me?" Xiao Ming, who hadn't spoken for a long time, suddenly asked.
"Why?" I didn't understand. I looked at my sister; she seemed hesitant to speak. Was it really because of Xiao Ming?
“Buying a house will allow me to transfer my household registration, which will make it much easier for me to take the college entrance exam in the future.” He was surprisingly calm.
“You have your reasons, but I’ve wanted to buy a house for a long time. It’s better to have a Beijing residency permit, right?!” She comforted Xiao Ming. Looking at them, I couldn’t help but smile. I finally understood why Fang Cheng was so confident—it was because of Xiao Ming. He was using Xiao Ming’s residency permit to attract my sister; just like Uncle Zhou used Xiao Ming’s schooling to keep my sister. I sighed. I was a little scared because of Fang Cheng. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if Fang Cheng chose me. I was no match for him; he was too smart, frighteningly so. For the first time, I felt a sense of relief.
"Second Sister!" Xiao Ming noticed that I was lost in thought again.
"It's nothing. When are you planning to get married?"
"We're just living under the same roof!" A lawyer's nature is to pay attention to details.
"Why not get married? Since you've bought a house and live in the same area, why not get married together? That way, you can legitimately exploit him and keep an eye on him at the same time."
"Second sister, are you crazy?! Once eldest sister gets married, you'll have to call Cheng-gege (brother-in-law), and then he'll have a legitimate reason to exploit us!" Xiao Ming is definitely smarter than me. I thought about it for a moment and my face turned a little pale. This really is a problem. Just thinking about his smug look makes me uncomfortable. I noticed my sister was secretly laughing.
"He might be thinking the same thing!" I wondered.
“These past few days, he’s been grinning smugly whenever he thinks about you calling him brother-in-law!” My sister thinks we’re still kids and that my argument with Fang Cheng is a bit silly. They love watching us fight, but I’m not going to get angry. I took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I’m not angry. I’m not going to let him get smug. I’ll call him brother-in-law as soon as he comes over. Let’s see if he’ll be embarrassed to accept it.”
"Second Sister, calm down, your face is turning blue!" Xiao Ming couldn't help but laugh. Just then, the doorbell rang, and he ran to open the door. At the same time, the sofa cushion in my hand flew towards him. The door opened, and it hit Fang Cheng on the head.
"What are you doing! You bullied your brother this morning." He glared at me and put the sofa cushion back on the sofa.
"Have you had breakfast?" My sister smiled at him. He saw the porridge and nodded. My sister served him a bowl. They seemed to have lived a lifetime together. He was still thin, almost dried up. There was a glimmer of white in his hair. I looked closer and saw it was white hair. There was also a little ink stain on his sleeve.
"Get married! You'll turn into a caveman at this rate!" I rolled my eyes. My sister noticed the gray hair and plucked it out for him. He grinned foolishly at her. I kicked him; he wasn't even paying attention to me. "I'm talking to you!"
"I'll listen to Qin!" He's already a henpecked husband; I almost fainted.
"Does your father agree?" My sister was thinking more deeply.
“I didn’t ask!” He was used to making his own decisions. “But I’ve already written to him. I want to buy a house, and he’s already sent the money. I think he should know!” He spoke vaguely.
"Did you say that the person you're marrying is my sister?" I knew all too well that he was playing along. He dodged the question. "You haven't said you're getting married yet, have you!" I grabbed his collar, and he was helpless.
“I can’t say right now! Qin, listen to me, it’s not your fault, it’s my dad! No, my dad isn’t the problem either, he never cares about me. That Uncle Li you met, he likes Xiao Ying. I’ve been in the same school as Xiao Ying since I was little, and later we were even in the same class and sat at the same desk. He thinks she can be my father’s daughter-in-law! If it weren’t for her wanting to go to Peking University, I wouldn’t have been able to leave Shuicheng! If you hadn’t come to Beijing, maybe she really would be the one I’m marrying now…”