Marry a Northern Song Dynasty civil servant

Chapter 41

Tears welled up again, blurring the sky and earth, but they could not blur the face that was getting closer and closer.

His eyes were bloodshot, his chin was disheveled, his face was haggard, and his breath was urgent and fiery.

We haven't seen each other for half a month, and I haven't dreamt of you for ten whole days. Dongqing, Dongqing, why have you changed?

Song Xiaohua opened her mouth, but couldn't speak. She wanted to go forward, but couldn't take a step. She could only watch silently as he dismounted, took off his fur coat, shook off the snowflakes, and wrapped it tightly around her.

"I'm here." The three words were spoken softly, almost inhumanly, yet they seemed to possess a strange power, making people no longer afraid or hesitant.

“You’ve come…” Staring intently into those still dark, deep eyes, the chill that had seeped into her bones gradually dissipated, replaced by a torrent of tears welling up in her eyes: “Why did you take so long to come?! They’re all dead, don’t you know? All of them are dead, don’t you know? I’m the only one left, don’t you know?…”

Despite the fists pounding against her chest, she tried to soften her voice, which sounded like it was burning with flames: "I know, I know everything. I'm sorry I'm late. Yaoyao, you won't be alone. You still have me, and you still have Ling'er."

"You're lying to me! I can never enter your world, can I? No matter what I do, you'll never see it, will you? No matter what I do, you'll never love me, will you? If you say yes, in front of my deceased loved ones, I promise I'll never bother you again. I won't accept a relationship that's forced, maintained only by a sense of responsibility! Don't worry, even if I'm alone, I can survive..." Taking a deep breath, she stopped her near-collapse and cried out clearly, "Since you have no intention of being with me, then I will leave!"

"Yaoyao!" Lu Ziqi stared in disbelief at the small face streaked with tears dried by the wind and snow. The resolute expression on that face instantly replaced the exhaustion from days of tireless running through the icy wilderness with a sharp pain in his heart: "What are you saying? How could I..."

The rest of the words were left unsaid, because the person in front of him was slowly collapsing.

He put his arm around her waist, embracing her slender body, and looked in surprise at Yuan Hao, whose right hand was still raised in the air.

"She's barely had any rest these past few days; she's exhausted. Let's talk about everything after she's had a good night's sleep!"

Faced with his impeccable composure, Lu Ziqi also suppressed all his emotions and nodded in greeting without showing any emotion: "I met County Magistrate Zhang, and he told me the general situation. Thank you for taking care of my wife these days, Brother Yuan. I am not in a position to bow at the moment. Let me first send my wife home and settle her in before I formally thank you, Brother Yuan."

"I am merely doing what I feel is right, and I bear no obligation to any favors. Please, Brother Lu and your wife, go ahead. I will arrive shortly after."

The wind was strong and the snow was heavy. Two hoofprints trampled the previous four rows of footprints, making the tracks difficult to discern.

He glanced down at the bloodstains on the back of his hand that had already congealed, his upturned eyes curving slightly before regaining their sharp edge.

A soft laugh echoed through the gray sky and earth, lingering for a long time.

Chapter Forty-Five: Entrusting One's Life

A sapling, not yet fully formed, snapped in the fierce wind and snow, making a soft crackling sound. Yuan Hao stopped and glanced at it, a vague sense of bewilderment in his expression.

This tree is just like the one she leaned against that day, tender and weak, only suitable for growing happily under the warm sunshine, just like her, unable to withstand wind and rain, and should not withstand wind and rain.

I still remember the throbbing in my heart when I saw her bury her head in her knees, curling her small body into a ball; I still remember the breathless feeling when I saw her lift her head, her eyes empty and her face blank. Why had she changed so much in just a few days? Could it be because of Yelü Ping?

Before she could think it through, she heard the shocking news from the constable. Her numbness and lack of reaction were unsettling.

Without hesitation, he stepped forward and claimed to be a close friend of Lu Ziqi. He said that he had come from afar to visit, but had just heard that his sister-in-law's family had encountered a sudden change of fortune. Since Lu Ziqi was away on business and could not come for the time being, he should do his duty to take care of her.

Seeing that he was honest and polite and did not seem like a fraudster, and that it would be best to have someone with close ties to the county magistrate to make a decision at this time, the yamen runner invited him to go with him to discuss the matter with the most prudent County Magistrate Zhang.

Next, it was hastily decided to send someone to the prefectural government to inform Lu Ziqi to go directly to the neighboring county. At the same time, after settling everything at home and preparing all the necessary items for the journey, a carriage and horses were arranged. Without any delay, they set off immediately.

The journey was mostly along treacherous mountain paths. In order to hurry, they abandoned the official road and took a small path, which was extremely bumpy and involved sleeping in the open. The weather in late autumn was already very cold, and the fierce winds that often blew through the mountains and forests made it difficult even for someone who was used to traveling. How much more difficult it was for her?

However, she never complained once.

In fact, she seemed to have lost her soul and spirit, only knowing how to blindly obey orders. She would eat when told to eat, drink when told to drink, and sleep when told to sleep, doing exactly what was asked. Otherwise, she would sit silently with her head down, without any spirit, and not even like a living person.

This state of affairs continued until the end of the funeral.

She thought she would have a meltdown when she saw the faces of her deceased family members, but she simply looked at each coffin carefully, without crying, making a fuss, or saying a word.

At the burial, all the relatives in the clan wailed, but she remained quiet, watching everything with her big eyes, as if she hadn't seen anything at all.

Everyone said that she was overwhelmed by grief and despair. If she didn't release it soon, it could fester in her heart and damage her health.

He stayed with her for a long time, trying his best to comfort her. He said everything he could think of, and even called a doctor, but she remained unmoved.

This side of her broke his heart.

Yes, it's heartache.

This is the first time in my life I've felt this way, all for a woman.

When we first met, I found her to be unique and interesting, so I couldn't help but want to talk to her, just as a little spice and interlude on my lonely journey.

When they met again, he realized how lovely and beautiful she was, and he even had the thought of keeping her by his side. However, he ultimately did not want to force her; since her heart already belonged to someone else, why cause her unnecessary heartache?

I thought it was just a passing fancy, and I thought I could walk away gracefully. But now, I realize that I have already fallen in love.

When it was planted is unknown.

What will happen after it's planted? Nobody knows.

Finally, unable to bear her delirious, self-harming behavior any longer, he dragged her to the grave of her relative and used the most vehement words to wake her up.

She saw him; after ten whole days, he finally saw his own reflection in her pupils.

At that moment, I felt both sorrow and joy.

She said a lot of things, some nonsensical, but none of that mattered. No matter where she came from or who she was, he wanted her.

What does it matter to him whether the common people of the Song Dynasty were married or not?

The words he was about to say were interrupted. Seeing Lu Ziqi appear at such an inopportune moment, he suddenly felt an urge to strike her with his sword. But looking at the expression on her face, he felt as if he had struck himself. Upon hearing her words, his sword vanished instantly.

To waver and struggle between despair and hope—is this the taste of 'love'...?

Lu Ziqi, if you cannot protect her, you are no longer worthy of having her. Now, you have broken her heart.

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It was sunset when I returned to the courtyard. The world was still shrouded in gray, and snowflakes fell in a flurry, carrying a sense of desolation that seemed to devour everything.

The door opened slightly, and Lu Ziqi stepped out, wearing the fur coat.

"You've arrived."

"You're leaving."

The two sentences were spoken at the same time, neither of them a question.

"I need to go to the county government office here."

"Did you get the order to mobilize troops?"

He raised an eyebrow: "Exactly."

He smiled leisurely: "You think you can avenge your blood debt all by yourself?"

"It wasn't just Lu."

"Relying on those old, weak, sick, and disabled people?"

"As long as we are soldiers of the Great Song Dynasty, we have the responsibility to defend our territory and protect our people. Even if we only have one breath left, we will never retreat even half a step!"

"Unfortunately, not everyone thinks like you, Brother Lu. Most of the so-called soldiers of the Great Song army are just petty cowards, only concerned with getting paid and living day to day. As for the local officials, they only care about minimizing major incidents and avoiding minor ones, keeping their official hats as the most important thing. A small squad of three hundred men is reported as a thousand-strong cavalry. They are hiding in the city and watching the people being slaughtered, but they claim to be fighting bravely to defend the country. Maybe they can even get a commendation and a promotion. The poor villagers, even if they go to the King of Hell, will have no way to cry out for justice. Who told them to have such an army? Who told them to be citizens of the Great Song?"

When he said the last sentence, Yuan Hao smiled faintly, his eyes crinkling, and his tone was somewhat mocking, as if it were just resentment arising from a grudge in his heart.

Lu Ziqi's expression hardened, and he solemnly declared: "No matter the dynasty, there will always be incompetent and corrupt officials who embezzle public funds, abuse their power, and neglect their duties. However, our Great Song Dynasty will never tolerate such behavior. As long as the evidence is conclusive, they will be severely punished! Our soldiers are of iron will and have built our Great Song's borders with their flesh and blood. If any traitors invade, we will pursue them for thousands of miles until they pay for their crimes in blood! Every citizen of our Great Song Dynasty is loyal to the emperor and loves their country. They will never betray their country. Even if they go to the underworld, they will only vow to become vengeful ghosts and take the heads of those who dare to invade our land and kill our people!"

As soon as the words fell, several handfuls of snowflakes suddenly fell from the high branches, landing between the two of them, only to be instantly buried by the swirling snow.

Yuan Hao looked down at the potholes that had quickly disappeared, and brushed the white residue that had accumulated on his shoulders: "I hope it is really as you said, Brother Lu."

Lu Ziqi paused for a moment, then bowed deeply.

He slightly turned his body to avoid it: "As I said, I will do what I want to do, it has nothing to do with personal feelings, and I don't need your thanks."

He insisted on completing the formal ceremony: "I am not only concerned about my wife, but also about the dozens of civilians who died under the butcher's knife. Thank you, Brother Yuan, for telling me the truth about the enemy!"

"Brother Lu, aren't you afraid that I'm deliberately providing false information to mislead you and send you to your deaths?"

He straightened up and said, "Brother Yuan is an upright man; he would never do such a despicable thing. Only a fair and square contest can determine victory or defeat."

He clapped his hands and laughed, "Well said! Since you've put it that way, Brother Lu, it would be dishonest of me to keep anything to myself." He took out a roll of sheepskin from his bosom, "This is a map of a hundred miles in circumference. The places marked with cinnabar ink are the temporary residences of that small Liao tribe for the past few days. I hope it will be of some help to you on your journey, Brother Lu."

Lu Ziqi reached out and took it, but did not unfold it. He clasped his hands in a salute and was about to turn and leave.

Yuan Hao watched him walk silently to the gate before softly saying, "The snow came too early this year; I'm afraid this torrential downpour won't last more than two days."

Lu Ziqi nodded, took a step forward, hesitated for a moment, and finally turned around to face him again: "There is something I don't understand, and I hope Brother Yuan can enlighten me."

Yuan Hao seemed to have anticipated this question, and smiled with his hands behind his back: "Brother Lu, please speak freely."