Song Xingzhi lived during the reign of Emperor Huizong

Chapter 6

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I've always been curious why people use "wangba" (王八) as an insult instead of "wangqi" (王七) or "wangjiu" (王九), or why a creature as ancient as the turtle is called "wangba" instead of "wangqi" or "wangjiu." Then one day I stumbled upon an explanation in a joke, and then I counted hundreds of surnames—Zhao, Qian, Sun, Li, Zhou, Wu, Zheng, Wang—

...As expected, he was ranked eighth...

Hehe~ Just kidding~~

Chapter 10, Yuan Rou

The promoter function is now open! What are you waiting for? Join us now! The little girl has an oval face and a small but straight nose. She is definitely a beauty in the making, but unfortunately, she is pale and weak, as if she has been ill for a long time.

Yongjiao bent down and glanced over, then waved and said, "The melon seeds are here. Third sister, where have you been? I haven't seen you for days. Come and sit down."

Third sister? Is this the third sister, He Yuanrou, who was the second oldest in the third branch of the family and was scolded to tears several times by the eldest sister who kicked "herself" to death? (Those with strong voices, please read this sentence in one breath.)

He Yuanrou swayed as she walked in and sat down. He Suchen watched her with trepidation, fearing that she might accidentally fall.

This isn't some third sister at all; she's clearly a young version of Lin Daiyu!

Yongjiao glanced outside the door and asked curiously, "Why didn't you bring any of the maids with you? What if something happened on the way?" He Yuanrou lowered her head and didn't speak. Yongjiao frowned and said, "Did you sneak out again? Didn't your mother tell you to come and check on the melon seeds? Don't tell me she doesn't know it was your eldest sister who did this!"

She said with disgust, "Your mother is really something! Is there such a person? Doesn't she fear retribution?! Our whole family has been in turmoil because of her and my eldest sister for the past few months. What did my mother ever do to offend her? What did my eldest sister ever do to dislike the melon seeds?!"

Yuan Rou quickly said, "No, my mother isn't like that. She hasn't been feeling well these past few days, and my sister is sick, so she simply doesn't have time to take care of anything. My mother wasn't like that before. It's just that Father rarely comes home and ignores my mother, so she..."

"Your sister gets sick? I thought she was some kind of hellish demon who only makes people sick! What do you mean your mother wasn't like that before? I heard from the nannies that my third aunt used to..."

"Second Sister, all the maids in the room have been sent out to do chores. Please make do with this lukewarm tea," Su Chen interrupted Yongjiao, tugging at her sleeve and smiling as she handed her a cup of tea. Yongjiao replied, "Guazi, you don't need to do that. Third Sister knows what kind of people they are. Never mind, let's not talk about it..."

Even if you know what kind of people they are, you wouldn't want to hear others speak ill of your family, right? He Sucheng thought helplessly. Yongjiao was indeed a very righteous and adorable child, but sometimes she was too straightforward, making it difficult for people to back down—could this be considered a different kind of obtuseness?

He Yuanrou looked at her gratefully and said, "Mother is also very embarrassed about what happened, but my eldest sister is very ill and she really can't leave."

"Guazi is almost dead, and your mother is just embarrassed?! And your sister, I heard yesterday that she injured a little girl! Is she very sick?!" Yongjiao complained.

Ugh... This kid is only seven years old, kicking, hitting, and even swearing. If we go by the facts, he should have already killed someone, uh, the real He Suchen... What kind of freak is this?! He Suchen was extremely moved, realizing that her previous belief that ladies from noble families in ancient times were all well-mannered and gentle was really outrageous. Now she was seeing the opposite example.

But now was not the time to think about these things. He Yuanrou's tears were already welling up in her eyes, accumulating very quickly. She sobbed, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Guazi, Mother and the others didn't mean it... My sister just wanted to teach you a lesson. She said the teacher always praised you, and she wanted you to fall into the lake to vent her anger. Who knew it would make you so sick? She's terrified..."

Yongjiao originally intended to say a few more harsh words, but seeing Yuanrou like this, her heart softened, and she gently patted her back to comfort her. After a while, Yuanrou calmed down, and He Suchen, seeing this, changed the subject and asked, "When is Grandma coming back? Will she not be home until after the New Year?"

Yuan Rou sniffled and said, "No, Grandma will be back in a couple of days at most. Once Grandma is back, the house will definitely be quiet."

Yongjiao pursed her lips, as if she wanted to say that as long as the three families don't make trouble, the mansion will be very peaceful, but she held back.

Yuan Rou sniffled again and said, "Yesterday, I saw a line of poetry by Song Zhiwen, 'The flowers are similar year after year, but the people are different year after year.' I thought it was so fresh and natural, and I liked it very much."

He Suchen was somewhat taken aback. She was still getting used to the fact that they had just been talking about her grandmother's return home, and now the topic had immediately shifted to a poem by someone she had never heard of before. But Yongjiao replied dismissively, "I used to like that poem too, but after asking the teacher about it, I stopped liking it!"

Why? Although she didn't recognize the person, it didn't stop her curiosity. He Yuanrou voiced her question on her behalf, softly asking, "Why?"

Yongjiao pouted and said, "The teacher said that this poem was not written by Song Zhiwen at all, but by his nephew Liu Xiyi. He thought it was good, so he showed it to his uncle Song Zhiwen. Who knew that Song Zhiwen was shameless and said that he wanted to take the couplet from him and claim it as his own. He had no choice but to agree, but he couldn't help but tell others about the poem he had written. As a result, Song Zhiwen ordered him to be buried alive."

After she finished speaking, she stuck out her tongue: "Buried alive! Just think about it, someone being buried alive because of a poem. Just thinking about it makes me shudder. I would throw that poem as far away as possible and not feel any better about it at all."

He Yuanrou shivered: "Second sister, don't scare me with such things anymore! I don't dare to think about that poem now!" After exchanging a few words, the two started discussing the lyrics again. He Suchen sat beside her, listening with a smile, feeling extremely depressed. She had no idea who Song Zhiwen and Liu Xiyi were, although she had vaguely heard the line "The flowers are similar year after year, but the people are different year after year"; she also didn't know who the four great contemporary lyricists were, let alone the new lyrics and tunes that had been circulating in the capital last month.

She suddenly felt like she had become illiterate, out of step with the times. Especially when she saw two teenagers discussing rhyme and poetic forms with the same familiarity as a former Chinese language teacher, she deeply realized how illiterate she was.

"Guazi, do you still remember that line from Lord Su's poem? 'Whose daughter is that on the shore, so wild and eccentric? Look over there, the willow catkins are blown to the sky by the wind.' Such a line is so lifelike and straightforward, yet so elegant. Only Lord Su could write such a thing!" Su Chen swore that she seemed to see Yongjiao's eyes filled with the sparkling stars often seen in the eyes of female protagonists in comics!

"Oh." Sorry, I haven't heard of that, I don't know what you mean...

"Guazi, do you still remember Liu Sanbian's 'The east wind blows open a thousand trees of flowers at night, and blows down stars like rain'? I love the fireworks he described!" Yuan Rou's eyes sparkled with bright red hearts, just like a modern fan who screams when they see their idol.

"Oh." I don't remember. I only remember the line, "Young people don't know the taste of sorrow, they love to climb high, love to climb high, forcing themselves to write new poems about sorrow." Sisters, how old are you? Discussing this kind of thing is bad for your mental and physical health! At times like this, you should be playing house, playing prince and princess games!

He Suchen thought with no small amount of malice, "When I have the chance, I'll discuss Freud, Kafka, Lu Xun, Chairman Mao's 'To find truly great men, look to the present' (she forgot that this poem was plagiarized by the current Emperor Huizong), discuss a modern person surnamed Huang who said 'He is not a person,' discuss someone who seems to be surnamed Zhong who said 'I used to be very naive and innocent,' discuss a Tsinghua professor named Zhao Yuanren who is fluent in multiple languages and knows thirty-three Chinese dialects. When Bertrand Russell came to China to give a lecture, he acted as his interpreter, interpreting in the local dialect at each place. After the lecture, the residents of each place actually thought he was from the same hometown, and discuss a certain incredibly respected and beloved premier who said 'There are only two toilets in all of China.'"

Let's see who's truly illiterate!

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P.S.: The line "The flowers bloom similarly year after year, but the people change year after year" is from "Lament for an Old Man with White Hair," which I liked very much for a while. Some say the author was Song Zhiwen, some say Liu Xiyi, and others say Jia Zeng (Liu Xiyi was Song Zhiwen's nephew, the protagonist of the story Yongjiao mentioned). That story is from unofficial history and can't be taken seriously. Such an ancient event, though there may only be one truth, I simply cannot find it.

Now, copy and paste the entire poem. Those interested can take a look; it's a good poem. "Lament for an Old Man with White Hair"

Peach and plum blossoms in the east of Luoyang, flying here and there, where will they land?

The girls of Luoyang are beautiful, but they can only sigh as they watch the flowers fall.

This year the flowers fall and their colors change; next year when they bloom again, who will be there?

We have already seen pine and cypress trees felled for firewood, and heard of mulberry fields turning into seas.

The ancients are no more in the east of Luoyang, but we today still face the falling flowers and the wind.

The flowers bloom the same every year, but the people are different year after year.

A message to the young and beautiful: pity the old man with white hair and half-dead body.

This old man with white hair is truly pitiful; he was once a handsome young man with youthful looks.

Princes and nobles dance gracefully beneath fragrant trees, amidst falling blossoms.

The Guanglu Pond and Terrace are adorned with exquisite calligraphy, while the General's Pavilion is painted with images of immortals.

When I fall ill and find myself alone, who will share the joys of spring?