The Beauties of the Song Dynasty - Chapter 80
I almost... caused that person's death.
"what are you doing here?"
In the still of the night, the deep shout sounded particularly startling. Song Huining was jolted, slowly raising her head to meet his dark, bright eyes in the darkness, remaining motionless. She didn't rise to greet him, nor did she answer him; she simply looked at him for a while, then lowered her eyes again, hugging herself even tighter.
He's the emperor... He's the emperor now...
Why did I want Defang to succeed to the throne that night?
She thought about it vaguely.
It seems she's forgotten a crucial reason. What is it? Defang is the child she's raised with such love; his kindness and generosity would surely govern the Song Dynasty well. But… but…
This is not the main reason.
Her shoulders suddenly felt heavy, and a wave of emotion washed over her growing heart. She paused, looking down at the black velvet cloak embroidered with golden dragons on her shoulders, and thought in a daze that although she was the Empress... no, she was now the Empress Dowager, and this was the first time she had ever worn the Emperor's clothes...
"It's chilly at night. You've just recovered, so don't catch a cold," the person next to her said calmly, sitting down on a stone like her.
If she were being rational, she should have taken off the cloak and returned it to him, but she simply pulled the cloak tighter around her shoulders and remained silent for a long while before softly asking, "When will I move out of Anfu Palace?"
Zhao Guangyi's face stiffened, and he pursed his lips, saying in a deep voice, "Are you in such a hurry to escape from me?"
She gave a silent, bitter smile. "Anfu Palace is meant for the future Empress; how can I occupy it indefinitely?"
"Shut up!" He couldn't take it anymore and pulled her close, their eyes meeting. His angry gaze met her calm, still eyes, and he suddenly lowered his head helplessly. "Ning'er, you...you really want me to give you up? I...I can't do it!"
"emperor--"
"Don't call me Emperor!" He glared at her, his face contorted with rage, suddenly feeling a deep hatred for her rationality and her composure!
She stared at her silently, watching her face contorted in pain and filled with unconcealed regret. Her heart ached terribly. Knowing that the child who was not meant for them originally belonged to him, he seemed to feel an even deeper sense of guilt and pain when facing her.
She tenderly raised her hand and gently stroked his face, pressing it against his furrowed brows. "We... are over. Don't do this."
"Ning'er!"
He pulled her into his arms tightly, kissing her passionately behind her ear, biting her earlobe with a bloodthirsty intensity. "How can you be so calm! How can you be so heartless!"
She bit her lip to force the sound back into her body, reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying herself in his embrace, hiding her suppressed tears in his chest, silently enduring his passion.
The last time.
One last indulgence...
For the rest of her life, she will surely atone for the sins of their perverse love.
"Ning'er..." He moved his kiss to her lips and called her in a hoarse voice.
"……Um?"
"I don't want you to leave me, I won't let you... you mustn't..."
She laughed lightly, wrapping her arms around him tightly, "Okay... I won't leave..."
“Tell me,” he released her, his dark eyes fixed intently on her tender, clear eyes, and asked with utmost seriousness, “Tell me, what was your ultimate purpose in bringing Defang to the palace that night? Tell me!”
She tilted her head and looked at him, her appearance so childlike, completely devoid of her "empress's" dignified and noble demeanor. "I'm afraid if I tell you, you'll hate yourself."
"I need to know!" He unconsciously gripped her shoulders, eager to know if she felt the same way he did.
“I want to… get rid of everything in this palace,” she smiled quietly, her eyes narrowing longingly as she looked through him at the pavilion behind him. “I want you to take me away from here… away from this cage-like place, to wander freely in the vast sky and earth…” But it was ultimately just a dream that could never be realized.
Zhao Guangyi gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. For the first time in his life, he felt such regret and hatred for his compromise! If he hadn't compromised with Zhao Pu and Wang Ji'en, if he had given up the throne that was not rightfully his, he could have held onto the woman he had loved all his life!
"We can do it now too—"
"No, you can't!" she interrupted him urgently. "You are already the Emperor, you can't step down now, we can't bear the consequences... We've already committed so many sins, we can't be selfish anymore, we can't..."
He opened his eyes and glared at her fiercely, then suddenly picked her up and strode towards the bedroom.
"What...what are you going to do?"
Seeing him walk towards his bedchamber with a stiff face, she frantically grabbed him, "You can't be here... You're the Emperor! If someone sees you, I'll ruin you... Guangyi!"
Zhao Guangyi ignored her exclamation, carried her into the inner hall, and coldly shouted at the two palace maids waiting inside, "Both of you, get out of here!"
The two palace maids were completely stunned by Zhao Guangyi's sudden appearance. They stared blankly as he carried their master to the bed, without any reaction.
"Didn't you hear me tell you to get down?!"
The palace maid was startled. "Yes! This servant takes her leave..." She hurriedly tried to leave, trembling, but was so frightened by a cold shout that she almost fell to the ground...
"Anyone who spreads rumors about tonight's events will suffer a fate worse than death! Do you hear me?!"
"I heard it..."
The two palace maids were terrified and rushed out, but at that moment someone ran in and nearly fainted when he saw the two embracing in the inner palace.
"Your Majesty!"
Zhao Guangyi didn't even glance at her, but simply placed the person in his arms on the bed and said coldly, "Get out!"
The person who rushed in was none other than Yuan Niang. How could she just run away like that? She rushed forward and pleaded, "Your Majesty! You can't be here! You'll kill the Empress! Your Majesty—"
Zhao Guangyi slowly turned around and glared at her, "Yuan Niang, are you tired of living too?"
"emperor--"