Who else could you love besides me

Chapter 102

It turned out that these two were none other than Tian Xiri and his servant.

Xi Ri smiled faintly upon hearing this and said, "Tian Shuang, what if I don't want to go to my elder brother's house to see the elders and pay respects at the ancestral hall?"

Tian Shuang was taken aback and said, "Miss, everyone says that this is your good fortune. Looking around the capital, who doesn't envy you for having such a blessing?"

"Tian Shuang, do you think so too?" Xi Ri stopped and turned around to ask.

The maid was silent for a moment before saying, "This servant knows what Miss is thinking, but this servant also knows that at this moment, the Lord, Prince Ming, General Xi'en, the elders of the Xi family, and all the officials of the Tian and Xi families who have status and position in the court are waiting for Miss."

Xi Ri paused, her gaze darkened, and she said, "Let's go."

"Yes," Tian Shuang replied.

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I was already exhausted after a busy day, but I just couldn't fall asleep.

I remember leaning against the window a few days ago, my arms were already numb, and my exposed skin was already icy cold. In the blink of an eye, winter has arrived. Time flies so fast.

She had never disliked winter, but this winter she disliked; in her eyes, it was all bleak, desolate, gray, monotonous, and cold.

Thinking back on everything that had happened during the day—his father's satisfaction, his elders' expectations, the envy and jealousy of others, and the countless congratulations—it felt as if a phoenix had truly been born into the Xi family of Beijing today.

In the past, she would have been extremely satisfied with all of this, but now she only feels more empty.

She knew perfectly well that she possessed all of this because of one person, and without him, she would lose it all, though she had never cared...

Today, in front of everyone, her third brother held her hand without any hesitation, legitimately and without fear of being blessed. His eyes held nothing but pride and tenderness. They were blessed, even in the eyes of those old-fashioned and conservative elders. She had no strength to break free, yet she still resisted unconsciously…

Her third brother asked her, "I wonder when the first snow of the year will fall?"

She shook her head and said she didn't know.

Third Brother joked that he would definitely take her to Phoenix Mountain to hunt snow foxes when the first snow falls.

She scoffed, "Snow foxes must live a carefree life in the mountains. Why hunt them? You're robbing them of their lives and freedom. Is it all for their expensive fur?"

Third Brother laughed at her: "Fifth Sister, can't you bear it anymore?"

She said quietly, "Perhaps neither is true." She answered irrelevantly, and said wistfully, "Perhaps people are jealous of them because they are free. They live freely, while people cannot be free and are always bound by too many constraints."

Third Brother suddenly tightened his grip on her hand.

She knew she had spoken out of turn, but she felt a strange sense of triumphant resistance.

After a long while... so long that her palms were sweating, she finally heard her third brother say, "Three months, I will keep my word."

At that moment, she suddenly hated herself.

A CD with chaotic thoughts...

"Miss, it's getting cold. Don't stay by the window in the wind, you'll catch a cold," Tian Shuang advised.

Xi Ri said, "Go to sleep first."

“Miss…” Tian Shuang hesitated before speaking.

"What is it?"

"Is something on your mind, Miss?" Tian Shuang asked.

Xi Ri said, "Tian Shuang, you've always been by my side, so you must know what's on my mind."

"I dare not presume to guess what Miss is thinking."

"Is that so?" Xi Ri glanced at Tian Shuang and said, "I'll allow you to speculate a bit. Tell me, and if you do well, I'll give you a silver ingot so you can buy a better silk handkerchief."

Upon hearing this, Tian Shuang felt a large bead of cold sweat appear on her forehead despite the freezing weather… So her mistress had heard everything… But then she thought, for her mistress's sake, and of course, the money and the handkerchief! She had to speak her mind today, so she mustered her courage and said, “Tian Shuang dares to be bold, but I think that your mistress should not be so indecisive any longer and must make a decision as soon as possible. The longer it is delayed, the more troublesome it will become.”

“I understand this principle.” Xi Ri sighed softly and said, “But there are always some things that are beyond our control. Before, when I had the chance, I didn’t know my own heart. But when I was sure, it was too late. I couldn’t be ruthless before, but now I can’t. In fact… I’m being bound tighter and tighter by him, and the more I want to escape, the less I can.”

Tian Shuang's eyes darkened, and after a long silence, she finally said, "If I may be so bold as to ask, Miss, have you truly never had any feelings for Prince Ming?"

Xi Ri paused slightly, then shook her head and smiled bitterly, saying calmly, "I am a human being, not a god, nor am I heartless."

Tian Shuang exclaimed in surprise, "Miss? You...who do you like?"

What do you think?

"Tian Shuang thought that Miss liked... Young Master Long."

Xi Ri smiled faintly, as if recalling something, and said, "I still remember the day Long Ming suddenly left. Within a few days, I deeply understood what longing meant. 'A day without seeing him was like being driven mad with longing.' That feeling almost drove me insane. Every night I was restless and unable to sleep, almost obsessively gazing at the night sky and stars. He loved to look at the night sky. And I was obsessed with doing what he loved most. At that time, I felt like a stranger to myself. I knew I liked him, and I couldn't control my feelings for him."

"What are you still hesitating about, Miss?" Tian Shuang asked.

"What am I hesitating about?" Xi Ri smiled bitterly and said, "When Third Brother risked his life to save me, I told myself that it was just brotherly affection, and I could repay him with brotherly affection, even my life. But when Third Brother said he loved me and was willing to give up his life and dignity for me, I..." She seemed to recall something painful and could no longer continue.

Tian Shuang called out softly, "Miss."

She waved her hand and continued, "That day at the execution ground, I saw Third Brother and Long Ming running towards me at the same time, so close, but I... still hugged Third Brother back, right in front of Long Ming. I didn't do it on purpose, I just... followed my heart."

"I'm just a person. My third brother's sacrifices move me and even break my heart, but every time I see his love, I just want to run away..."

"But I can't escape, I can't escape... He's holding me so tightly... I want to fight back, but while hurting him, I find that I'm also hurting myself. I've never hated myself so much... Indecisive, Tian Shuang, you're right, I'm indecisive, I'm running away... because I really don't know what I should do."

"When you can't figure out how to do something no matter what you do, don't think about it, just follow your heart." Suddenly, a voice rang out from the rooftop.

Without a second thought, Xi Ri knew who was on the roof. She thought he wouldn't come so late, but he still did. He had probably overheard everything she'd said, and for a moment, she felt a surge of hatred, a burning rage. She remembered saying she missed him terribly! Oh God… how could he have heard her? She didn't want to see him, absolutely not!