Twelve Jade Towers

Chapter 6

My Asura. The scent of vodka has faded... How distant you are.

I miss you too. Do you know that, my general?

I lift the embroidered curtains, adorned with wisteria and bees. In the sweltering, starry sky of Guangzhou, I cannot see your soul, riding a swift steed. General, have you already returned to your birthplace in the north? The gray wolf of the grasslands, I am a predatory beast.

Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [26]: Behind me, a tall figure wrapped his arms around my bare waist. He turned me around and buried his beard between my breasts. Miss. We are all lambs of God. We are all just children he has abandoned on earth. We must go and find him, Father of the Kingdom of Heaven.

We must not fall into depravity. We must not lose our way. That is dangerous.

He liked to talk about God, that supreme name. He told me about a marriage his father had arranged for him in his hometown in Portugal.

"Her name is Elena, the daughter of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, a good friend of my father's," Raymond said, a little shyly. "I've known her since I was a child... My father really wants us to get married; it would be good for his position at court and for his friendships."

I looked at the uneasy young man. Was she beautiful?

She's a good girl. She's a devout believer in God. Raymond said. I respect her. But… Miss, I prefer you. You are China's mysterious Myrtle. You are more beautiful, more captivating.

He said it so bluntly. My Raymond. I felt joy in my heart, but suddenly I was weary. A cold weariness came like the approach of death. Raymond, what exactly is God?

God is our God. Just like your Buddha. He is the kindest and the greatest.

Raymond explained their doctrines to me. This diligent young man had consistently achieved excellent grades. At the officer cadet school, he always ranked at the top in both military and theological classes. His eyes shone with a gentle, devout light—the kind of joy that comes from someone who has found spiritual belonging. Raymond was a bright student and an excellent officer, but in a foreign land, he was too gullible. His striking appearance and straightforward manner made him easily deceived. One day, he came to me excitedly yet shyly, carefully pulling a paper packet from his waist to show me. His face flushed, he said, "Miss, someone told me this will make you happier…"

Who gave you this? Raymond?! What did he say to you?

I opened the paper package. I knew what it contained without even looking. The most potent and scorching aphrodisiac, a powder made from sulfur and other highly stimulating substances. The pungent smell assaulted my nostrils, its vulgarity revealing its depraved nature. Applied to the penis, it could revive even the most limp and weak old man, but its effects were so extreme, like ripping flesh to heal a wound, quickly destroying a man's health, leaving him with temporary pleasure but forever unable to control a woman, perhaps even leading to his death.

Raymond, how could you be so easily fooled? Do you know this stuff is poison? It's sulfur. Do you know that in China, if we want to get flowers that only bloom in spring and summer during winter, we plant sulfur around the roots of the flower, and it will force it to bloom quickly? But after it blooms, the plant dies, you know?! Sulfur is too strong; it will burn a flower. You can't touch this stuff! Tell me who gave it to you?!

Raymond stared in shock as I burned the packet of powder. A strange green flame rose from the brazier, emitting a foul odor. I opened the window.

"...My God, this is like fire from hell..." Raymond murmured in surprise, then told me that Hongluanxi's servant had revealed to him that Myrtle had an enormous appetite, and that ordinary men could not satisfy her. She also said that to make Myrtle happy, men had to use drugs. Raymond then told me an unbelievable figure—the price the servant had demanded for this packet of powder.

"...Miss, I just wanted to make you happy..." Raymond explained awkwardly, as if he were the one who had made a mistake, rather than someone else who had maliciously deceived him.

Without a word, I left the bedroom, found the servant boy, slapped him twice, and ordered him to return the money he had unjustly swindled to Raymond. You blind, worthless wretch! Don't you know who your guest is?! Myrtle's patron—how dare you deceive him like this?!

The madam, having heard the commotion, rushed over to join in, giving the young servant a good scolding before sending him away. Then, with a forced smile, she tugged at Raymond's sleeve, explaining, "My lord, we are truly sorry… we really didn't know there was such a scoundrel among our servants… Here, I'll send him away right now… We are so sorry, my lord, these damned servants only know how to swindle small amounts of money. May God bless them to be eunuchs in their next life…"

Raymond frowned, being kneaded like dough by her. I came to his rescue. "Mother, let's not talk about it anymore. Young Master is tired. Let's go back to our room and rest. Come on, Raymond."

Yes, yes! Young master, please rest well! Don't let these blind servants spoil your mood... Young master! You should still cherish our young lady! Look how much she favors you!

The madam's voice faded behind me. I pulled Raymond back to our room, closed the door, and turned to lean against it, sneering. These damned lackeys only know how to swindle small change. Mother, don't think you've hidden it all away; these words have already revealed your true feelings. Small change can't be swindled, because there's always bigger money waiting ahead... Do you think anyone doesn't know that? Myrtle, you're a money tree that rakes in gold every day; she's long since developed a shrewd and calculating mind in this den of iniquity.

But I won't allow you to lie to this man. She turned and hugged the stunned Raymond. No, my dove, I won't allow anyone to bully him…that would be a sin. He was so pure and innocent. He treated me with genuine human kindness, untainted by lust. His desires, even when strong, were so healthy. He was upright and honest, with nothing to hide. This devout, kind-hearted Western officer, with his imposing exterior, concealed a little boy within…I won't allow you to bully such a child. In the time I spent with him, I had no past, as pure as the azure sea. His tender gaze. Until the day he bid me farewell, he always treated me like a noble lady.

Miss, I must leave. My father ordered me to return to the inn in half an hour to pack my belongings… We will be departing for Dadu tonight. I have come to say goodbye, Miss.

Our last meeting. He still gentlemanly took my hand and gently kissed the back of it. "Miss, you are the most beautiful woman in my heart...you are my princess," he whispered in my ear.

Raymond. I hugged him tightly. This Western man gave me a respect and equality that I will never forget... No matter how long I will continue to torment in this world of desire... Raymond, I will remember that even when I am trampled by thousands, there was once someone who held me in the palm of his hand as if I were a crystal sculpture. I am your embroidered shoe made of emerald thread.

Miss…! I will miss you. Will you wait for me? If Father agrees…Miss, I want to marry you. Will you come back to Portugal with me?

Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [27]: I kissed his hair. I kissed his cheek. Raymond, it's time to part. Don't say such meaningless things...you and I both know it's impossible. Although I cherish the warmth and sunshine you gave me, it will shine in my gloomy life forever...but you must go, Raymond. The son of a Western envoy and a girl from a Lingnan brothel, we are two worlds so different. You will never see me again, just as I am sure I will never see you again. After leaving you, my life will continue as before, falling into a daze amidst the strong fragrance of rouge and silk. Just as you will continue to advance and rise after returning home, marrying Elena, whom you have known since childhood. The splendor and mystery of the East, it was just a dream of your youth. When you are old, you can tell your children and grandchildren by the fireplace...a love story of an old grandfather. That Chinese girl, her name is Myrtle.

Raymond, you must treat her well... but in the end, I still don't understand what God is. I have been abandoned by the gods of both East and West.

His hands, gloved in white, were warm yet distant. That warmth no longer belonged to me. He handed me a red-covered, gold-embossed parchment book, its pages filled with intricate, unfamiliar words. Like the untraceable threads of this warmth. "Miss, this is the Bible. I know you can't understand it… but you can put it by your bedside… to tell me you won't forget me, will you? My lady. May God bless you! I will pray for you every day."

Raymond's hug was so tight it hurt my bones. His deep voice... that distinctive Western scent, a mixture of fragrance and pungent odor... I wouldn't be able to smell it anymore soon. My strong, bright boy. He whispered something in my ear, like a promise: "Miss! God bless you! ...Bodhisattva, bless you, my angel!"

...He's gone. My Raymond, off to the capital, our connection from the distant West ends here, never to meet again. But I will forever keep the Bible he gave me, its red and gold cover, its devout blessing...a pure and warm blessing that will never be repeated in my life. Raymond, he called upon the gods of both East and West to bless me, with such earnest childlike wonder. Regardless of whether they have long since abandoned me.

Raymond. A Portuguese naval officer, an envoy to the Great Khan. My fleeting foreign lover. I will remember that I was your first woman, leading you into the mysterious, crimson garden.

Of course, I will also remember the foreign words you said to me before you got on the train, just as we parted. Once, during a passionate night in bed, your warm blue eyes looked down at me as I recited a Western language I couldn't understand.

I understood that phrase when we parted forever, Raymond. It was the last time you said it to me, and I wrote down its complex pronunciation so I could practice it slowly in the days that followed.

That sentence meant "I love you," Raymond. Shy boy, when it comes to love, you still only dare to confess to me in your native language. How I long to stroke your golden hair one more time, my dove.

Goodbye. I uttered that foreign word to the car you could no longer see.

Goodbye, Raymond. I love you.