Things in the pond - Chapter 34
Since the trial began, countless prominent deities have been visiting the police station. These include Samantabhadra, Virupaksha, Virudhaka, Erlang Shen, Nezha… and most ridiculously, even the Monkey King came in the end…
"So many wrists... I am so insignificant..." the carp said, clenching its fist and bowing its head with tears in its eyes.
"Carp! It's alright, in my eyes you will always be the king!" the blackfish said firmly.
"Blackie!" The carp was deeply moved.
“You are my superstar…” the carp replied with tears in its eyes.
"Heizi!"
"Carp!"
"Heizi!"
...
The demons and immortals glanced at them, then chose to ignore them.
Looking at the chaotic scene in the police station, the crab asked curiously, "How come our case has attracted so many spirits?"
The catfish immediately came over, "Hehe, speaking of which..."
Before it could say anything, it was interrupted by the demons and immortals. "Old Catfish! Don't change the subject!!!"
The catfish sighed heavily, wiping away its tears as it sang, "Nobody knows who I really am, I've never felt this empty before..."
= =|||
"What are you arrogant about! Speak Mandarin!" the dragon roared.
The catfish stared at it for a while and asked, "So angry? Did you fail the Level 4 exam for the Immortal Realm's foreign language?"
A murderous aura suddenly emanated from the dragon.
All the demons simultaneously assumed defensive stances.
The dragon blinked its innocent eyes. "Really, that's great! I've never done it before either!" it said happily, looking at the dragon.
"Who said I didn't pass?!" the dragon glared at the chi, "How can you become an immortal if you haven't even reached level four?!"
The dragon shrank its head and shut its mouth.
"Wah..." Suddenly, the crab burst into tears.
The demons and immortals were astonished.
"What's wrong, Crab?" Chi asked, covering his ears.
The crab, with tears in its eyes, lamented, "So even becoming a deity requires exams... I don't want to cultivate anymore, I don't want to take exams!"
= =|||
"The negative effects of exam-oriented education..." the blackfish and carp sighed, summarizing.
"Hehe...Speaking of exam-oriented education, I used to..."
The demons and immortals did not interrupt it, which instead made it unable to continue speaking.
"..." The catfish looked at the demons/immortals and swallowed hard.
"Let's see what nonsense you can spout!" the dragon sneered.
The catfish could only chuckle awkwardly, speechless.
"By the way! Don't change the subject! Why are so many gods coming here?" the crab asked, wiping away its tears.
All the demons and immortals were looking at the catfish.
The catfish cleared its throat. "Because... back then, the frog's idol worship left a deep impression on them..."
"Yang Lijuan???!!!" the blackfish and carp exclaimed in surprise.
= =|||
"If Xianqing hears this, he will kill you all," the black snake said expressionlessly.
The blackfish and the carp gasped and huddled together, trembling.
"Speaking of which, where are the frogs and shrimp?" the crab asked, raising its hand.
Catfish sighed and stretched out his hand, "Go grab an autograph there..."
= =|||
Just then, the wild goose rushed out, wiping its sweat. It addressed the assembled demons and immortals with the words, "You should all go back."
"Why?!"
“Inspector Hong has granted you bail. You can go back now. We will notify you of the verdict.” Dayan said with a look of fear.
"Why?" Not only the curious crabs, but all the demons and immortals asked in unison.
The wild goose let out a deep sigh.
“The Monkey King, huh! He’s hanging around the director’s office, insisting that Qi Ji is a buddy he met when he was a stable boy, and that he was the one who released the heavenly horse this time. He even boasted that this wasn’t the first time he’d released a heavenly horse, and that anyone with the guts should arrest him,” said Dayan, her tone full of sympathy. “Our director is having a huge headache right now, and he specifically ordered Inspector Hong to release you. We’ll talk about the details later… Sigh, I wonder who leaked this news…”
The blackfish and the carp were deeply moved after hearing this.
The crab was even more excited. It clenched its fist and shouted, "That's so cool! I want to be an official someday!!!"
The demons and immortals looked at it and patted it on the shoulder.
"That's ambitious, boy!" the goose encouraged, grasping the crab's hand.
"However, I don't want to be an official in the Heavenly Palace... I don't want to take the Level 4 exam..." the crab said seriously.
"Oh my god! How did you know I failed the CET-4?!" Dayan exclaimed in surprise.
"Nonsense..." the dragon scoffed. "What 'be ambition'? Ambition is a noun; it should be the adjective 'ambitious'! You dare show off with such a low level of knowledge!"
The wild goose immediately burst into tears, lamenting, "Heaven is jealous of talent..."
The blackfish and the carp sighed and comforted him, saying, "Victory and defeat are common occurrences in war. Please try again, hero."
"Hehe...Speaking of great heroes...I once..."
"Old Catfish! Don't change the subject!!!"
= =#
Just then, the river shrimp and the frog, having secured their autographs, came over.
"Indeed, the real person is more handsome..." The frog looked moved. "Lord Yang Jian, I will always support you..." It rubbed the autograph book in its hand and said coquettishly.
The river shrimp, clutching its autograph book, exclaimed, "Wow... I saw Nezha! I saw Nezha... Nezha who conquered the East Sea! Wow..."
All the demons and immortals were speechless.
"But the most handsome one is still the Monkey King... Wow..." the frog exclaimed wistfully, "He's truly majestic, exceptionally charming, and dashing... No wonder he's a model of a demon ascending to immortality..."
= =|||
"I beg you..." Dayan suddenly cried, "Please leave... If you don't leave, our bureau chief is going to have a breakdown. His breakdown is a small matter, but my not getting my year-end bonus is a big deal!"
The demons and immortals looked at it with disdain.
"Pragmatism!"
After a chorus of voices, the demons and immortals walked out of the police station, chattering amongst themselves.
The dragon walked for a while, then turned back to look at the black snake, "Why did you follow me here too?"
The black snake glanced at it and said, "You didn't create this road."
The dragon crossed its arms and said, "You want to fight, don't you?"
Black Snake chuckled. "How about it?"
A murderous aura immediately filled the air. The demons and immortals looked at each other in dismay, and then sighed in unison.
The dragon looked around and saw the black snake and the dragon killing each other with their eyes, the blackfish and the carp continuing to flatter each other, the frog and the river shrimp exchanging autographs, and the catfish patiently teaching the crab not to fight...
For some reason, Chi suddenly wanted to laugh, a genuine laugh from the bottom of his heart...
It knew a few lines of the English song the catfish had just sung:
Nobody knows who I really am.
Maybe they just don't give me a damn.
But if I ever need someone to come along...
I know you would follow me and keep me strong.
It's a strange feeling. Is this proof that I'm no longer lonely?
...
Chapter 42
When the demons and immortals returned to the pond, they saw the fox and Tingcong guarding the pond.
Upon seeing them return, the fox excitedly rushed towards them.
"You're finally back... I was so worried... 55555..." the fox cried.
The carp was deeply moved. "Wow... it feels so good to have someone waiting for you..."
Blackfish replied emotionally, "It's truly good when everyone is doing well..."
The river shrimp scoffed, "Stupid fish..."
"Wow—racial discrimination—"
Before the carp and the blackfish could finish their roar, the fox cried out in alarm, "Shrimp!!! Shrimp, you're back too!!!"
River Shrimp nodded, then looked at Tingcong beside him.
Ting Cong unconsciously took a step back. "What are you doing?"
The river shrimp glared at him. "Tell me! How much do you know about Ji You?"
Tingcong blinked in confusion. "Master? How would I know about Master's affairs? What are you talking about?"
The river shrimp frowned. "You don't know?"
"Of course I don't know!"