Love with ulterior motives

Chapter 17

Ye You parked the car, and a woman named Xie Qiqi was standing at the door.

"What do you want?" Ye You asked.

"I heard you got divorced?" Xie Qiqi said with a hint of schadenfreude. "Aren't you going to invite me in for tea?"

Ye You opened the door, and Lao Luo made an excuse to go out to buy something. Between the two women, Lao Luo preferred Xian Jing; but what one likes rarely lasts, that's a law.

Xie Qiqi tried her best to please Ye You, using all her charms. Ye You manipulated her body and suddenly felt that this woman on the bed had also had a hard time. What did she do wrong? She was only willing to be so lowly because she fell in love with him. Why do people go to great lengths to get what no longer belongs to them while ignoring what exists around them?

He kissed her wet crotch. Xie Qiqi was somewhat terrified; she had never experienced anything like this before.

"From now on, you'll stay with me. You're not allowed to be with other men." Ye You hugged her trembling body tightly.

Having lost it and then regained it, Xie Qiqi felt like she was dreaming. If it was a dream, she hoped she wouldn't wake up.

When people are successful, everything goes smoothly, but they shouldn't be too complacent, or perhaps fate has already used up all their luck. Xianjing's appetite was astonishing; Anzhu watched in amazement as she finished her fourth bowl of rice.

"Are you pregnant? Why are you eating so much?"

I bought a pregnancy test, and the answer was exactly what Anzhu expected.

Don't tell him, or we'll break up. He doesn't love me. Xianjing ate the pickled cabbage, but didn't find it sour.

At this moment, Ye You was traveling through Europe with Xie Qiqi, reluctant to return home. His phone was on 24/7, and he wasn't making any calls he wanted. Looking at Xie Qiqi beside him, Ye You felt he should love her. As for Xian Jing, though he couldn't let go, that was all he could do. She was now living happily with her lover, and thanks to his sacrifice, perhaps Xian Jing was happier. They were separated; it was over. He couldn't have everything.

Anzhu found a clerical job. The salary wasn't high, only 1200 yuan, but it was close to home, making it convenient to take care of Xianjing, whose belly was slightly protruding. Shi Lei had sent some money over the other day, saying on the phone that his hands were cracked from being soaked in dish soap. Anzhu felt a pang of sadness, but she couldn't blame Xianjing for not taking a single penny from Ye You back then.

I used to be with him, so I used his money. Now that we've broken up, things are different. Xianjing said to Anzhu, "I'm sorry, thank you for your hard work."

Anzhu is exhausted. Besides dealing with company matters, she also has to contend with the developer. She doesn't want to move, no matter how much money is offered. Unless she's the only one left, you can forget about it. There are about seven or eight other households who, like Anzhu, are unwilling to leave this old house.

Life went on like this, and her belly grew bigger day by day. She had gotten used to people pointing and whispering behind her back. When the first snow fell, the heating broke down, and Xianjing and Anzhu ate a simple hot pot while watching the snow falling all around them outside the window.

"Once the baby is born, my parents will take care of it." Xianjing rested her chin on her hand. "Soon, soon."

What about Ye You?

He hasn't called me once since the divorce. I'm sure he doesn't love me anymore and feels I betrayed him. I don't want to, and won't, shamelessly beg for anything. Xianjing stirred the slowly melting meat slices in the hot pot. "I'll look for a job, don't worry."

Anzhu rubbed her hands, which were red from the cold. "I know you're an independent woman, but..."

Stop talking and eat! Eating hot pot at home in winter is a happy thing. Xian Jing smiled, her feet were a little swollen, and her slippers were stuffed full.

Even in hardship, life must go on with a smile. Xianjing's stomach sometimes aches, but she doesn't rush to the hospital; she thinks it's the baby turning over. Whether he loves me or not doesn't matter, as long as I have the remnants of memories, the hope sprouting within me, like tender green shoots emerging from a meadow. Spring will come soon.

After Xie Qiqi moved in, she never cared where Ye You went or what he did, nor did she ask. She only wanted a part of Ye You, a small part. Compared to getting nothing at all, having even a small part was better. Xian Jing was different. If she couldn't have complete love, clinging to something incomplete was worse than not loving at all.

How about we switch cars, honey? Xie Qiqi is going out to shoot an advertisement and wants to borrow Ye You's car to look high-class.

Ye You was about to take a nap when she handed over the keys, saying, "Here you go. Come back early and drive carefully."

Xie Qiqi kissed Ye You and drove off. The weather was scorching hot, without a breath of wind—a truly awful, sweltering day. Turning on the car's air conditioning provided a brief respite from the heat, but the traffic only worsened, with a long line of cars ahead. At that moment, she recalled a scene from long ago, how dejected she had been then, and how proud she was now. Casually opening the glove compartment, a photograph slid out—a picture of Xian Jing's radiant smile.

She opened the car window and threw it out. The traffic jam ended, and all sorts of car wheels rolled over Xianjing's smiling face.

Xianjing walked home alone, holding an umbrella. She bought some vegetables at the market; the crabs were cheap today, and although not very fresh, they were at least alive. She walked slowly along the road, the sun blazing down, its rays stinging her back like needles.

With a whoosh, a strong gust of wind swept past, bringing a wave of heat. Xian Jing lost her balance and sat down on the ground, the scorching earth pressing against her skin, her forehead covered in sweat. The crabs in the plastic bag scattered in all directions.

The car's silhouette was so familiar, its license plate number so familiar.

At this moment, Xianjing suddenly burst into loud sobs. She hadn't cried in a long time. She hadn't cried when she got divorced, when she found out she was pregnant, when she was wandering around the hospital entrance because she didn't have money for prenatal checkups, and when no one offered her a seat on the bus. But she cried when she saw the crab and tried to grab it desperately. The crab's claws pinched Xianjing's fingers hard, and it hurt a lot.

After catching crabs and crying myself to sleep, I went home, walking back with my swollen and tired legs. My baby was about to be born, and I had to survive.

The sun was still scorching, and a cloud drifted by quietly. This time last year, there wasn't this cloud.

(37)

Anzhu was awakened by Xianjing in the middle of the night.

"I can't go on." Xian Jing leaned against the door frame, beads of sweat the size of soybeans streaming down her face.

Anzhu felt a lump in her throat. Other women in labor were surrounded by their husbands, anxiously taking care of them. But Xianjing was the only one who was going into labor and was staying at someone else's house, without a single man by her side.

"Let's go to the hospital." An Zhu got up and dressed. "That Ye You is really something, he didn't even call."

Xianjing couldn't help but sit down on the ground, "I'm afraid she's about to give birth."

Anzhu picked up her wallet; there was still some savings in the card, so she should be able to get hospitalized without any problems.

"Let's call a car to go to the hospital."

Xianjing shook her head. "Let's go to Limin Clinic nearby. Hospitals are too expensive, and we don't have the money."

Anzhu remained silent; Xianjing was stating the truth.

Seeing the clinic door open, Dr. Wang calmly helped Xianjing to the bed for an examination, then lit a cigarette outside to smoke; he liked to have one before surgery. Dr. Wang used to work at a large hospital, but he was dismissed after accepting bribes, his surgery failed, and he was exposed by a patient. He and a few nurses pooled their money to open this clinic, which has always been quite successful.

"Why wasn't it brought here sooner? I think you might give birth tonight." Dr. Wang put on a mask. "Don't be nervous. Let me change your clothes first. Don't scream even if it hurts, otherwise you'll be weak after giving birth and will have health problems later."

With tears in her eyes, Xianjing held Anzhu's hand and said, "The baby is coming out; it's kicking hard."

A gust of autumn wind blew by. Ye You wrapped herself tighter in the blanket on the bed, turned over, and went back to sleep.

Dr. Wang disinfected Xianjing's genitals with alcohol, shaved her pubic hair, and everything was ready. Xianjing had a ginseng slice in her mouth to help her regain her energy.

A sharp, piercing pain spread throughout her body. Xian Jing's mind conjured up images of Ye You: his mischievous smile, his spoiled childishness, his cold breakup, and his complete disappearance, as if Xian Jing and he had never loved each other at all.

I am shattered, and where are you? Do you really not remember me, or have we simply passed each other by? We are all puppets of fate. Our precious child is tormenting his mother. I fantasize about everything about him: his eyes like mine, his nose like yours, as healthy and intelligent as you. He will love to laugh and play sports; he is our precious child.

Anzhu cried beside her, overwhelmed with emotion at witnessing the birth of a living, breathing baby for the first time. The baby was covered in blood and not breathing; the doctor held the infant upside down and patted its bottom twice.

A clear and loud cry reached Xianjing's weak ears; it turned out that people come into this world crying.

It's a baby boy. His name is Ye Kai.

Anzhu stayed by the bedside. She was so glad that such a clinic could deliver a baby and that both mother and child were safe.

"How much?" Anzhu asked.

"Two hundred yuan." Dr. Wang lit a cigarette at the clinic entrance. "It would be best if you stayed in the ward for observation for three or four days, fifty yuan a day, not including food, and then I would prescribe some medicine for you. It won't cost more than five hundred yuan."

"Two hundred, that's so cheap!" Anzhu trembled as she took the money out of her wallet, hardly believing it.

"When I was checking out the clinic in Chifeng, it only cost fifty yuan to give birth there, so what?" Dr. Wang scoffed, saying Anzhu had never seen anything cheap.

Xianjing drifted off to sleep and dreamed of the woman again. There were many babies in the cradle, and she chose one. When she woke up, it was already noon. Her wound was a little painful, and Anzhu helped her into the bathroom.

At noon, Anzhu brought over some chicken soup. Although it tasted a bit awful, I still drank it all because I knew my body needed to recover quickly.

Anzhu smiled and said, "I thought my cooking wasn't very good, but I'm so happy to see you finished it. I'll stew another one for you this afternoon."

Xianjing suppressed a laugh, "How's the baby?"

“Okay, he’s lying in another ward. Although it’s not as good as a big hospital, it’s not bad. People are like that, they can live anywhere.” An Zhu was clearing away the dishes. “I have to go to work now. I’ll come back this afternoon.”

Dr. Wang came to see you twice that afternoon, but he didn't ask where your husband was. He's seen too many women like this; all he feels is sympathy and helplessness.

In the afternoon, Anzhu indeed cooked another chicken stew. Xianjing forced herself to drink it, and almost spat it out when she got to the last sip. It wasn't sweet or salty enough. She smacked her lips and said, "Delicious, delicious."

Anzhu sat with Xianjing for a while, then took out a radio. "It's boring here at night. Listening to the radio will at least give you someone to talk to. Get some rest. I'll come see you again tomorrow."

Xianjing nodded gratefully. "Without you, I don't know where I would have died."

An Zhu said, "Anyway, Kai Kai is my godson. I'm being nice to you because I'm thinking about my own future. Maybe our Kai Kai will grow up to be a big shot."

Late at night, after Dr. Wang finished his last round of ward rounds, he said, "Your body is recovering very quickly, everything is normal. I'm going out on a house call now. If you need anything, just call the on-duty nurse."

The bed sheet was white with a small hole in it. Outside the window was a wall, and only moonlight shone through; the stars in the sky were not visible.

I turned over, unable to sleep, my belly restless, as if worms were crawling inside.

The nurse came in, pressed on Xianjing's stomach, and her hands smelled of disinfectant.

Under the moonlight, the nurse's face was that of an old man covered in wrinkles, and his dead fish-like eyes were staring at Xianjing's lower body.

(38)

"My stomach hurts." The old nurse turned on the light. The light was glaring, and people who have been in the dark for a long time will feel uncomfortable when they see the light.

The old nurse's pink uniform had faded to white, and there was a loose thread on the cuffs.

Does it hurt a lot?

Xianjing nodded.

The power went out. The moon hid, and rain drifted in through the window, carrying the smell of dust.

Xian Jing was a little scared, and when she was scared, she thought of Ye You.

Where are you? Where are you? Where are you when I need you?

Ye Kai fell asleep. All he knew was to eat milk and sleep. He was not afraid of anything, not even his own father.

The older nurse said, "You have to bear with it and wait for the doctor to come back. I'll go out and check if the fuse has blown. Lie down and don't move."

The familiar pain of childbirth lingered in her abdomen; blood stained the white sheets, leaving a sticky mess when she touched them. Xianjing wanted to scream, but she lacked the strength.

Ye You got up to use the restroom, and shook her body with satisfaction. The sound of the toilet flushing was very quiet, without a single sound. Such a cool night, perfect weather for sleeping.

Xian Jing dialed a familiar number, and placed the vibrating phone in Ye You's shirt pocket without waking anyone.

The number you dialed is not answered. The number you dialed is not answered. Xian Jing closed her eyes in despair. Even now, he still hates me. Help me, Ye You.

The door creaked open, and Xianjing said to the nurse who came in, "I think she's about to give birth again."

The person who came in wasn't a nurse.

Xianjing lay there and looked around; there was no one there. Perhaps the wind had blown the door open. The blood continued to flow.

There was something crawling on the ground, like a dwarf.

Upon closer inspection, Xianjing noticed that only the upper body was crawling. It crawled very quickly, reaching the edge of the bed.

"Let me help you." Wu Jianjun stretched out his withered hand, revealing the child's feet, tiny and tender feet, while his large head was stuck inside.

"Get away from me, you filthy thing, don't touch me!" Xian Jing screamed, her hair disheveled, waving her hands wildly. The intense pain in her lower body made it almost impossible for her to open her eyes.

Wu Jianjun's hand still reached inside; his long, cold hand exuded a putrid stench. Instantly, the stitched wound reopened, and blood almost gushed out. The slippery uterus was the home of the evil fetus, where parasites lingered and struggled.

Xian Jing tried to push Wu Jianjun's body away, but it was no use. He was a ghost, clinging tightly to Xian Jing's legs and pressing down on her relentlessly.

Finally, half an arm was inserted. The ghost fetus seemed to be playing hide-and-seek, its entire body covered in slime, impossible to catch, not even a ghost could catch it. Wu Jianjun was somewhat annoyed. He grabbed its head, gouged out its eyes, and pulled hard. A sharp pain shot through Xian Jing, and she almost fainted.

It cried, it was born, accompanied by fleshy worms crawling all over the ground, breathing in the fresh air of the autumn night, but before its eyes was endless darkness.

"It's mine, give it back to me," Xianjing cried. "Give it back to me."