My uncle was an extremely thin man. Standing next to my aunt, he was smaller and thinner than her. Fat people tend to look kind, while thin people often appear more so. My uncle gave off a very somber impression; his nasolabial folds were deep and stern, and he almost never smiled. Ju Nian's relationship with her uncle was distant; they hadn't been close before, and even after living together, she was quite afraid of him. However, while her uncle wasn't friendly, he wouldn't mistreat a little girl like her. Most of the time, he didn't seem to notice Ju Nian; he neither scolded nor cared, and when he did speak, his tone was cold.
Ju Nian remembers most clearly the words her uncle said to her when she first arrived at their house, when her aunt showed her her room. The room was fairly clean, and Ju Nian hadn't expected it to be such a cozy paradise. However, when she opened the wardrobe to put her own clothes inside, she discovered it was crammed full of little boys' clothes.
She was confused at first, but then it suddenly occurred to her: Could these have all been worn by her deceased cousin?
Ju Nian had never met her poor cousin. He had died in an accident a year before she was born, but she had heard about the horrific scene from the adults. Car wheels had crushed his small body, and blood, flesh, and bones had become indistinguishable. Thinking of this, even in the height of summer, little Ju Nian felt a chill run down her spine.
As she looked around the room, she saw photos of her cousin from age one to three on the table, his toys in the dresser, and old comic books on the low stool by the bed. This was where her cousin used to live, and it was still exactly as he had lived. Her aunt cleaned it every day, but everything had been preserved.
Ju Nian quickly went to smell the sheets on the bed. Thankfully, although they weren't new, they smelled of laundry detergent and the fresh scent of sunshine. This little bed and blanket—was this the same one her cousin used to sleep in? Perhaps she was being paranoid, but when she turned the blanket over, she saw a small, blurry stain that involuntarily reminded her of blood, sending a chill down her spine.
At that moment, my uncle pushed open the door and walked in, saying expressionlessly, "You'll be staying here. Don't touch anything in the room. Understand?"
Ju Nian sat on the edge of the bed in a panic.
“I know,” she answered softly.
In this family, Aunt was Ju Nian's only reliable person, after all, they were blood relatives and both women. In the beginning, Aunt was warm and caring towards Ju Nian. Once, when Ju Nian got lost, Aunt almost cried with worry, which was genuine. Aunt's concern and care made Ju Nian feel very flattered and overwhelmed, not knowing how to accept such kindness.
However, just like a host welcoming guests, they are always hospitable when the guests first arrive, but after a while, it becomes a source of anxiety. Who wouldn't get tired of such hospitality after a long time? Even the most devoted children can grow weary of prolonged illness. After living together for about a month, my aunt had gotten used to Ju Nian's presence, just as she had gotten used to a new chair in the house. She sat on it every day when it was first bought, and after a month, it was no different from any other chair.
Like her uncle, my aunt had many things to do to make a living. They were just ordinary people, and life wasn't easy for them. Diligence, frugality, and kindness were virtues they couldn't escape. Ju Nian learned to cook from her aunt, and every day after school, she would prepare dinner first thing. Otherwise, her aunt and uncle would be unhappy to see a cold stove when they came home. Ju Nian could manage all of this. Her cooking wasn't exactly delicious, but it was edible. The two adults weren't picky eaters; they just needed to be full, not fancy.
Days pass like the calendar on the windowsill, each yesterday torn off. I heard that my younger brother was finally born in the countryside, and my parents' wish came true. I haven't had a chance to see him yet, and I wonder how my mother is doing. My father has come a few times, giving my aunt some living expenses and leaving a few pounds of apples each time before leaving. The adults are all busy, and my aunt doesn't have much time for me. It's true, I'm too quiet and well-behaved; I don't cause trouble or act spoiled, and I'm a child with a very low profile. My aunt and uncle don't pay much attention to my studies and can't tutor me. As for what I'm thinking, that's not important. The few words we exchange each day are nothing more than about daily life.
Have you eaten?
"Is dinner ready?"
"Go to sleep."
That's for the best. With my aunt and uncle not home, Ju Nian might be a bit more relaxed. My aunt is always nagging, and my uncle always has a grim face. They always argue when they get together, but the next day they're out pushing their fruit carts one after the other, as if the argument never happened.
The only thing that bothered Ju Nian was her aunt's loud voice. Her aunt liked to lead Ju Nian around in front of the neighbors and repeat over and over how Ju Nian's parents neglected her, how much she had helped her younger brother, and how difficult it was to raise a child—implying how kind she and her husband were. She wouldn't stop until all the neighbors said, "Old Liu's family, you're such good people, this child is so lucky to have met you."
The older women living nearby always like to ask, "Ju Nian, will you repay your aunt when you grow up?"
Forced by public opinion, Ju Nian had to answer time and time again: "Yes, I will repay my aunt and uncle when I grow up."
She was grateful to her aunt's family, but saying these things made her feel embarrassed.
Ju Nian's living expenses, given by her father, all went to her aunt; she received no money whatsoever. As she grew, her clothes quickly became too small. Whenever she reluctantly told her aunt, clutching the short hem of her garment, her aunt would buy her new clothes. But after the clothes were bought, her aunt would repeatedly say in front of everyone, "I don't know how much money this child cost. But I can't let her suffer; she still needs clothes, after all, I only have one younger brother."
My aunt's mouth is a natural megaphone. It's loud and full of content; anything can become her topic of conversation.
“My daughter, Ju Nian, didn’t get enough nutrition when she was little. She was almost graduating from elementary school, but she looked like a 7 or 8-year-old. Other girls her age would have started menstruating, but ours hadn’t even developed yet.”
"At such a young age, she already knows how to spend money. This child has no worries about food or clothing. The other day she even asked me for pocket money, as if her father had given me so much benefit."
"All you do is read books, you can't do anything else. As a girl, reading those messy books will only make you learn to be improper sooner or later."
Auntie wasn't truly annoyed with Ju Nian when she said all this. She had done a good deed, so she needed to share it with everyone. The child's minor, harmless quirks would simply enrich the neighborhood conversation. Of course, none of this diminished the fact that she had raised Ju Nian, nor did it diminish the fact that she was a good person.
Ju Nian appreciated her aunt's kindness, but at the same time, she disliked her aunt, which made her a bad child. She thought that when she grew up, she would repay her aunt by giving her lots and lots of money, but she would always stay far away from her aunt!
In her heart, Ju Nian preferred to call Wu Yu "Little Monk." But she never said it aloud. Her aunt and uncle didn't like Wu Yu, so Ju Nian could only keep her distance from him.
Wu Yu started school late, and although he was a year older than Ju Nian, they were actually in the same class. Spending every day in the same classroom, Ju Nian and Wu Yu were arguably the quietest children in the class. However, Ju Nian's silence carried a girlish elegance, while Wu Yu's silence was characterized by his independent and unconventional nature. His difference wasn't arrogance or violence, like the son of a murderer as people might imagine, but rather he quietly did what he wanted to do.
For example, his strange bald head, his insistence on sitting in the last corner of the classroom, his tendency to stare at an ant nest for a long, long time, and his habit of taking a shortcut home alone after school.
Ju Nian had some friends, and even if they weren't close, she wasn't an outsider. But on her way home, she had no one to accompany her. For three whole years, from the third grade of elementary school until graduation, she always walked alone to her aunt's house with her schoolbag on her back, while Wu Yu swayed a dozen steps ahead or a dozen steps behind.
They almost never greeted each other, and rarely took the initiative to pass each other. Sometimes, Ju Nian would walk along the side path and see Wu Yu sitting in the haystack swaying his foxtail grass, or digging at a mouse burrow, and she would go over to watch. The two strange children might stand looking in one direction, or squat together, for something they were both interested in, but they weren't close friends who had grown up together, and even conversations were rare.
On one or two occasions, Ju Nian would walk carelessly with her unzipped schoolbag, not even noticing her homework falling out. Wu Yu would pick it up and stuff it into her arms as he passed by. Other times, when Ju Nian left home late and saw Wu Yu leisurely teasing the birds on the branches on his way to school, he would tug at her schoolbag and shout, "You're late! Run!"
Because her aunt and uncle were in business and got up very early, Ju Nian couldn't sleep in either, and had to get up before dawn. So she developed a habit of jogging in the morning, running a lap around the sugarcane fields in the early morning light, passing through bamboo paths, reaching the steps of the martyrs' cemetery, and then returning the same way. Wu Yu also started running, and their starting times gradually became the same, though Ju Nian always ran a little ahead of Wu Yu. She didn't look back, but the familiar footsteps always followed her.
I don't know where my aunt heard the gossip from, but one time she asked Ju Nian, "I heard from others that you're hanging out with Wu Yu? And you even run together in the morning? You'd better be careful."
Ju Nian answered without batting an eye, "No, there's only one jogging route. We haven't really spoken much."
After graduating from elementary school, Ju Nian and Wu Yu went on to attend No. 22 Middle School, a rural junior high school in the suburbs. Ju Nian's younger brother also turned three and returned to live happily with his mother and father.
Ju Nian had seen her little brother a few times; he was chubby and very cute. Her father named him "Wang Nian," following the "Nian" generation in their family's naming system. It's said that the name comes from the homophony of "Wang" and "Wang," signifying prosperity and also implying that he was her parents' only hope. This name was carefully chosen, unlike Ju Nian, who was born before the Spring Festival, and her father immediately named her "Guo Nian" (meaning "passing the year"). Xie Guo Nian—a truly interesting name! Later, her grandfather said it was inappropriate, too hasty. Because there was a pot of kumquats in the house for good luck during the Spring Festival, the name Xie Ju Nian was born.
Ju Nian didn't feel anything about her own name, but she had a cousin on the same roof named "Si Nian." At such a young age, Ju Nian liked that name.
My cousin is more than ten years older than Ju Nian. His grandfather and Ju Nian's grandfather were brothers, and their lineage inherited the scholarly tradition of their great-grandfather. My cousin, Sinian, is a famous painter who achieved fame at a young age. Ju Nian met him once when she was in second grade and admired him greatly. My cousin, Sinian, who wasn't close to Xie Maohua and Xie Maojuan, also treated Ju Nian with great affection. He said that Ju Nian was different from her parents and had the talent of the Xie family.
Ju Nian's parents didn't perceive any talent in her. In their eyes, painters, like actors, were not respectable professions and couldn't be considered serious. No matter how outstanding her cousin Sinian was, they still didn't think he was a respectable person. As for Sinian's private life, Ju Nian had vaguely heard some criticisms from the adults, but her understanding was superficial and didn't diminish the positive image she had of her cousin.
One summer before starting junior high, Ju Nian received another postcard from her cousin Sinian from a small European country. He said he had fallen in love with a woman, regardless of whether such a topic was too bold for a primary school graduate. But Ju Nian was still very happy. That day, her aunt and uncle didn't go to their business but went out to visit relatives, leaving Ju Nian alone at home, which was another reason for her good mood.
Her aunt and uncle's bicycle remained at home. In those days, bicycles weren't expensive, but they weren't something a child like Ju Nian could simply have. She was about to start middle school and still hadn't learned to ride a bicycle.
Knowing that her aunt and uncle had gone far enough and wouldn't forget to come back for their things, Ju Nian secretly pushed the old-fashioned bicycle out the door.
Ju Nian couldn't ride it, nor did she dare to. The large triangular frame was an insurmountable obstacle for her. At first, when she first went out, she looked around, worried that her aunt's neighbors and friends would "report" her if they saw her. After turning into the alley, she began to push the bike and run without restraint.
A silly child, who can't even ride a bicycle, is pushing it around happily—what a ridiculous sight. Ju Nian, oblivious to his own amusement, is enjoying himself immensely.
The wheels rolled over the gravel road, over the weeds, and over the narrow path beside the bamboo grove. She ran faster and faster, feeling as if her legs and the wheels were flying together.
The unique scent of bamboo leaves wafted over her with the wind, and Ju Nian imagined herself as a beautiful girl sitting on the back of a bicycle, with a slender boy in a white shirt pedaling lightly in front of her. They didn't speak, but their laughter echoed behind them, as fragrant as wildflowers.
Joy made Ju Nian completely lose herself. As she ran, she suddenly felt that she didn't need to exert any effort. The bicycle had a force that carried her forward, and forward... It was so magical that even the sound of her footsteps became double.
Ju Nian finally turned around and looked at her. Their eyes met, and Wu Yu, who was pushing the bicycle with both hands on the back seat, smiled at her, revealing two rows of white teeth.
"Get on the bike, ride it. Ride!" Wu Yu urged her from behind.
Ju Nian made several attempts to get on the bus, but hesitated at the last moment before stepping up.
"I dare not, I'm afraid I'll fall."
"What are you afraid of? I'll hold you up. Go up, go up!"
His voice seemed to have a magical power. Ju Nian gritted her teeth and stepped over the tall tripod, her toes almost not reaching the pedals. The bike swayed from side to side, and she gripped the steering wheel tightly. Wu Yu really held her up.
"Hehe, faster, faster, hehe..." Ju Nian laughed out loud. The bicycle propelled the two children along the path, as if this was the ultimate joy in the world.
Ju Nian rode more and more smoothly, and before long, he arrived at the foot of the steps of the Martyrs' Cemetery.
"Stop, stop, stop!" Ju Nian shouted.
No one answered her. She turned around, but there was no one supporting her from behind the bicycle. The sudden panic threw Ju Nian off her bicycle with a thud.
Wu Yu then emerged from behind the nearest sloping bamboo grove.
"You fell? You were riding just fine a moment ago?"
Ju Nian quickly got up, not even bothering to check herself, and first righted the bicycle to make sure it wasn't damaged. The bicycle was unharmed, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
Where did you fall?
Ju Nian rubbed her hands. "There's a crater in the ground, but I'm fine."
"It's alright, come with me." Wu Yu gestured for Ju Nian to follow her as they ran up the stairs.
Ju Nian didn't think much of it and followed. She had been here many times, but because Wu Yu said there were many ghosts up there, she felt it was best not to disturb them.
The stairs were so long that it seemed like you couldn't see the end from below.
"Hurry up, Xie Junian." Wu Yu stopped and waited for her.
"Isn't there a ghost up there?"
"Idiot, ghosts take naps during the day."
Ju Nian wiped his sweat and continued to work hard, 261, 262... 519, 520, 521!
There were a total of 521 steps. She didn't know why she was counting the steps, but just this once, she remembered that number forever.
Ju Nian thought that a martyrs' cemetery should look like a place with evergreen pines and cypresses, but when she climbed to the last step, what jumped into her eyes was an unexpected dazzling red, like a cluster of fire burning in a solemn and desolate ocean.
“Pomegranate flower…” Ju Nian was out of breath, but she recognized the plant.
“This is my pomegranate flower,” Wu Yu said in a declarative tone.
"Yours? If you call it, will it answer?" Ju Nian didn't believe it.
"Pomegranate, pomegranate...it answered, but you couldn't hear it."
Ju Nian pointed at Wu Yu and laughed, "You're just talking nonsense."
She climbed so fast that her forehead was covered in sweat. Wu Yu wasn't much better off; his face was flushed, a strangely red... a rather eerie red.
"Your face, haha, your face..." Before Ju Nian could finish her sentence, Wu Yu swayed and fell straight to the ground right before her eyes.
"You scared me again, didn't you? Get up, get up quickly... Wu Yu, Wu Yu!"
Wu Yu's body was twisted at a strange angle as he fell to the ground, as if he couldn't hear Ju Nian's words. A few seconds later, he began to convulse and spasm, with bloody foam at the corner of his mouth.
Happiness came so easily, and left just as suddenly. Fear conquered everything in an instant. Ju Nian was terrified, not knowing what to do. Wu Yu, curled up on the ground, was like a frantic and helpless lamb.
She slumped down, clutching Wu Yu's stiff neck, trying to call for help, but in this desolate wilderness high above, who could hear her cries for help?
Ju Nian was so anxious that she burst into tears. Wu Yu trembled in her arms, unconscious. All Ju Nian could do was pray that time would pass so that the person who had teased her and silently walked behind her would return.
In about a minute, a short time, Ju Nian felt herself aging in anxiety. Thank goodness, Wu Yu's convulsions gradually subsided, and her body slowly relaxed from stiffness, but she was still unable to move, feeling dazed and extremely fragile.
When Wu Yu was finally able to straighten up, Ju Nian could no longer feel the soreness and numbness in her arms.
"Are you feeling better?" Ju Nian actually wanted to say that he didn't need to force himself to stand up.
The blush on Wu Yu's face faded, leaving only a grimace. His previous smile and joy were completely gone. When he finally stood up, he swayed, and Ju Nian reached out to support him.
"I'm warning you, if you tell anyone I'll kill you!" His vicious words made Ju Nian's hand tremble. She stared blankly at the boy beside her.
Wu Yu turned her head away, and after a while, slowly sat back down next to Ju Nian.
"Please don't tell anyone, okay?"
He expressed the same meaning in two completely different ways; this time, he was helpless and pleading.
This is the real him, the true Wu Yu.
Ju Nian nodded hurriedly. "I won't tell anyone." As if afraid that Wu Yu still had doubts, she added, "I swear!"
Wu Yu smiled, revealing a bald head, clean and distinct features, and teeth that seemed to glow.
"Is it fun?" he asked Ju Nian.
"Huh?" Ju Nian didn't react; her mind was filled with a word she had read in a book.
—Epilepticus. Fu Hongxue suffered from this disease. The scientific name should be epilepsy.