"I didn't," Xu Chen denied immediately.
"You have."
"I don't."
"Yes, it is!" The girl's voice was firm and unwavering.
Xu Chen sighed: "Lele, do you only feel satisfied when I say I'm not doing well and that someone is bullying me?"
Yu Lele was stunned.
Xu Chen reached out and pulled Yu Lele into his arms. Yu Lele closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, letting his arms encircle her. They had been together for two years, and although they hadn't seen each other often, this embrace always felt secure and comforting. At that moment, Yu Lele was willing to believe: if he said it was okay, it really was okay. Although something inside her was still subtly stirring, accompanied by some worry and unease, appearing and disappearing.
Xu Chen lowered his head and gently kissed the girl's cheek. A clear, bittersweet feeling welled up inside him, winding its way to his heart, where it pierced with a small, sharp pain.
It was as if some sharp object had pierced a small dent in the soft atrium of my heart.
There were some things he didn't want to tell her.
Because of what happened in the past, he wanted her to forget, and he hoped her life wouldn't be so bitter. And now life did seem to be getting better and better, and he couldn't break that.
So let these things remain secrets forever.
There's nothing wrong with one person taking on the responsibility.
2-1
However, the truth eventually came out, because they had so many mutual friends.
Yu Lele eventually learned what had happened from Yang Qian, who was studying tourism management at a university outside the province. She called Xu Chen's dorm, and a boy answered, half-asleep: "Xu Chen? He's not here."
"Then do you know where he went?" Yu Lele persisted.
"Who knows, he's probably off chatting with a pretty girl. Why don't you call his cell phone?" The boy's voice sounded faint, clearly on his way to sleep. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the window, and Yu Lele helplessly instructed the dazed boy, "His phone is off. Could you please tell him this is Yu Lele, and ask him to call me back when he gets back?"
"Oh, I see, Yu Lele... Yu... what?! Sister-in-law!" The boy instantly woke up, probably realizing what stupid thing he had just said, and began to stammer, "Ah... um... um, sister-in-law, the eldest brother went to the library, oh no, he went to the counselor's office, oh where did he go again? He told me before he left, but I was half asleep and didn't hear him clearly. I was just talking nonsense, don't take it to heart!"
Yu Lele suppressed a laugh: "I know."
"Oh, you can't tell him that! I was just talking nonsense. Actually, with such a beautiful girlfriend, how could our boss possibly date other girls? Right? Our boss is just so-so looking, so... ah!"
A scream startled Yu Lele, who then heard Xu Chen's voice on the other end of the phone: "Lu Yuanyang, who are you talking about me to now?"
Lu Yuanyang reached out and rubbed his head where he had been hit, lamenting that his adorable sleepiness had completely vanished, and handed the phone to Xu Chen: "It's your sister-in-law calling."
Xu Chen answered the phone: "Lele? What's wrong?"
Yu Lele opened her mouth, but the words she was about to say were now stuck in her throat after Lu Yuanyang interrupted her. No matter how she said them, they seemed to only make Xu Chen feel worse. Yu Lele hesitated for a moment, then decided to swallow her words.
"Why aren't you saying anything?" Xu Chen turned around and glanced at Lu Yuanyang, who was staring at him expectantly, and snapped, "Get out!"
Thinking about his earlier misbehavior, Lu Yuanyang, for safety's sake, immediately grabbed his blanket and headed to the next dormitory, locking the door behind him. Xu Chen found it amusing and asked, "What did that guy say to you? Why did he look so guilty?"
Yu Lele laughed: "He was half asleep. When he heard I was looking for you, he told me you went to have a heart-to-heart talk with a pretty girl."
Xu Chen laughed too: "What nonsense. Did you need something from me?"
Yu Lele replied, "It's nothing, I just wanted to see what you were doing."
"Me?" Xu Chen looked at the English books beside him: "Go to the library and borrow some English books. In a couple of years, I'll see if I need to take the TOEFL and GRE."
"You're going abroad?" Yu Lele was quite surprised.
"I'll just take the exams for fun, since I'm free anyway. I passed the CET-4 in the first half of the year, so I should be fine with the CET-6 in a few days. Does that mean I'll have no life goals next semester?"
"Aren't you going to take the doctoral entrance exam?" Yu Lele said.
"It's only been five years, okay? Besides, I'm naturally smarter, so just getting a doctorate wouldn't be challenging enough, would it?" Xu Chen said half-jokingly.
Yu Lele was furious: He knew perfectly well that her English was bad, yet he still came to provoke her.
"Oh right, when I showed up at your school last time, nobody said anything?" Xu Chen teased Yu Lele.
"What did you say?" Yu Lele's teeth started itching again: "I said you don't look like a good person, and I look like an ignorant girl who has been abducted."
“Wrong, wrong, wrong,” Xu Chen laughed. “The first half is wrong. I do look like a good person. But the second half is right. Some people do look like naive girls, haha.”
Yu Lele was about to blurt out, "You're not good enough for me," but she swallowed it back. After what happened to Xu Chen's father, Yu Lele knew how sensitive Xu Chen had become. His pride was so fragile; any word she uttered could be fatal. Two years had passed, and Yu Lele felt exhausted living this life of constant worry, yet she couldn't change it.
Every phone call ends like this: Yu Lele, who could normally be carefree and talkative, has to become sharp and intelligent in front of Xu Chen, thinking carefully before she speaks, weighing every word. Shouldn't they be most relaxed and carefree when they're together? Why has it turned out like this?
Is it because he changed, or because I changed?
In fact, Yu Lele's transformation truly surprised even herself. She hadn't expected that after no longer needing to study math, and with literature, her strongest subject, becoming a major, her grades would skyrocket! In her first semester of freshman year, she ranked fourth overall, barely scraping by to receive a first-class scholarship (out of 5% of the 92 students in her grade). In her second semester, she ranked third overall, again securing a first-class scholarship. In her first semester of sophomore year, she ranked second overall, and this time, she firmly held onto the first-class scholarship!
Three consecutive championships—this is simply an unprecedented and dazzling achievement in the history of the Chinese Department!
Moreover, without the threat of the college entrance examination and with the nourishment of love, Yu Lele's literary path became much smoother. At first, she nervously submitted her work to magazines, the printed manuscripts emitting a strong, strange smell from the printer. She carefully mailed them, wrapped them in envelopes, and occasionally received a reply, sending a sample copy back along the same route, which infused her expectant and hopeful heart with a great deal of happiness. Later, editors from various magazines began sending her letters and sample copies, all with one purpose—to solicit articles. The method of submission also changed from mailing ordinary letters to communication via QQ, and the magazines gradually transitioned from juvenile publications like *Teenagers* and *Juvenile Literature* to youth publications like *Shenzhen Youth* and *China Youth*… Thus, as her royalties increased day by day, by the second semester of her sophomore year, Yu Lele basically stopped taking living expenses from home.
It was also because of her writing that Yu Lele became a renowned "talented woman" at this teachers' college. Many of her junior classmates became loyal fans, overjoyed whenever they saw the pen name "Yu Yue" in magazines. Even male students from other departments started gossiping, whispering in the cafeteria: "Look, that's the talented woman from the Chinese Literature department, the one who writes such beautiful articles, her name is Yu Lele."
Perhaps it was precisely because of this appeal that Yu Lele gradually had many opportunities to represent the school in essay competitions and knowledge contests. Awards came in one after another, leaving both teachers and students speechless. Although not a student leader, her "unbeatable" performance made her known to almost every teacher involved in student affairs.
Today, Yu Lele is considered by many to be exceptionally outstanding.
However, the person involved was still confused, harboring a lingering sense of unease and inferiority from their middle school days, and could hardly believe what was happening today.
In the second semester of her sophomore year, Ren Yuan, the secretary of the Youth League branch, talked to Yu Lele: "Yu Lele, aren't you going to write an application to join the Party?"
The girl in front of him hesitated for a moment and asked, "Me? Can I do it?"
Ren Yuan was a little puzzled: "Why not?"
Yu Lele, a little dizzy but very sincere, replied, "Isn't it only good students who can join the Party?"
Ren Yuan's eyes widened, thinking she was joking, but after looking at her, he realized it didn't seem like she was, so he patiently replied, "Yu Lele, aren't you a good student?"
What devastated him most was that Yu Lele sincerely shook her head and said, "How could I possibly be a good student?"
Ren Yuan was completely dumbfounded. After thinking it over carefully, he felt that the girl in front of him was either genuinely naive or incredibly good at pretending. He was more inclined to believe the latter, because students these days all have their own thoughts and intentions, and he couldn't see through them at a glance. With that in mind, his tone became calm: "What kind of person do you think qualifies as a good student?"
Yu Lele's eyes were calm and her sincerity was evident: "Students who are good at academics, sports, arts, and have good interpersonal relationships should also be student leaders with strong organizational skills, high prestige among their classmates, politeness, and noble character."
Ren Yuan gasped: "Yu Lele, do you think there are perfect people in the world?"
Yu Lele laughed: "There should be, but it's definitely not me."
"What's wrong with you?" Ren Yuan found this girl increasingly interesting.
“I’m not a student leader, and I don’t organize any group activities,” Yu Lele said.
Ren Yuan laughed: "You mean you want to be a student leader?"
"No, no, no," Yu Lele hurriedly waved her hand, "I can't do this. If you want me to represent our class in an essay competition or something, that's fine. I'll definitely try my best to contribute to the class. But let's skip this one. I really can't do it."
Ren Yuan finally burst into laughter. After laughing, he said to Yu Lele, "If you want to join the Party, go back and write an application. Regardless of whether you meet the requirements, you can have your wish, right?"
Yu Lele thought about it and realized it made a lot of sense, so she finally smiled. The next day, Yu Lele handed her application to join the Party to Ren Yuan, who said meaningfully, "Yu Lele, if you had submitted your application a year earlier, we might have become comrades next month."
Yu Lele still couldn't believe this logic existed, and boldly asked, "Can someone who isn't a student leader join the Party?"
Ren Yuan was so disgusted by her stubborn prejudice that he almost vomited blood: "If only student leaders can join the Party, how can we encourage everyone to study hard? If students who receive first-class scholarships for three consecutive semesters don't join the Party, then the students will really have doubts."
Yu Lele nodded with a hint of doubt, her heart pounding like a rabbit's as she walked away guiltily. Back in her dorm, after much thought, she finally understood. For a long time, she had indeed viewed the "good student" as a godlike concept—a person perfect without flaws, much like Xu Chen—a model student, excelling in all aspects. Of course, Xu Chen himself didn't have many flaws, but the slight imperfection that fate had bestowed upon him was precisely in the most crucial place.
Therefore, Yu Lele did not let Xu Chen know a word of what Ren Yuan and she had talked about.
No, I can't, I dare not let him know.
Because his self-esteem had become so thin and fragile, she was careful not to break it.
She loved him, so much. Although love is a very happy thing, it is also very difficult.
2-2
As usual, Yu Lele went home on the weekend.
As soon as she opened the door, she smelled the familiar aroma of braised pork ribs. There were also clanging and banging sounds coming from the kitchen. Yu Lele followed the sounds and saw her mother cooking.
"Mom, I'm home." Yu Lele announced as she entered the door. Her mother turned around, looked at her and smiled, "Your birthday is next Thursday. I don't know if you'll be able to come back that day, so I've cooked a lot of good food today. When your Uncle Yu comes back later, we'll celebrate your birthday in advance."
Yu Lele nodded happily: "Thanks."
Turning around, she saw Yu Tian behind her. The little boy had a bright smile on his face. Although he was in a wheelchair, his back was very straight, and he looked very energetic: "Sister, you're back?"
Yu Lele walked up to Yu Tian and squatted down: "Yu Tian, have you missed me?"
“Yes,” Yu Tian laughed, “Sis, I bought you a birthday present.”
"Huh?" Yu Lele was quite surprised: "You went out?"
"No, I bought it online." Yu Tian held out his hand, holding a small blue box with a faint swan pattern printed on it.
"Swarovski!" Yu Lele gasped. "Yu Tian, where did you get the money?!"
Yu Tian proudly held up the blue box: "I play games online, and I'm really good at it. I sold a piece of equipment and made a profit."
"Selling equipment?" Yu Lele seemed to understand a little better: "What level are you?"
Yu Tian's eyes lit up, as if he had found a kindred spirit: "I'm level 50, I have so many blue equipment pieces, and even the Dragon Scale Armor, I'm awesome..."
He was interrupted by Yu Lele in the middle of his rambling: "I basically don't understand it."
Yu Tian frowned in frustration, while Yu Lele chuckled and took the box from Yu Tian's hand: "But I can understand this."
Yu Tian immediately put on an expectant expression, his gaze fixed intently on Yu Lele's face. He watched as she opened the box and picked up a necklace shaped like a small purple flower. The dazzling purple crystal shone brightly, shimmering with a noble and elegant luster in the sunlight.
Yu Tian looked on with satisfaction at Yu Lele's surprised and incredulous expression. Her gaze flickered for a moment before returning to Yu Tian's face: "Yu Tian, did you choose this?"
Yu Tian nodded, his voice beaming, "Sister, do you like it?"
"I love it so much!" Yu Lele swallowed hard. "This is my first relatively formal necklace."
She beamed, "Thank you so much, Yu Tian!"
He muttered to himself, "I didn't expect you to have such good taste, but this thing is so expensive."
Yu Tian watched as Yu Lele decisively tried on the necklace, gesturing excitedly. Her mother, holding a spatula, quietly watched from behind, a smile playing on her lips. The sounds of the two children laughing and playing made her feel as if everyone had lived together like this for a long time, always, without any change.