"Oh~~" A drawn-out, exaggerated exclamation arose in unison from the audience, followed by a burst of laughter.
Yu Lele smiled amidst the students' cheerful laughter. She looked around the classroom, which had been painted countless times, when suddenly she recalled the scene of arguing with Xu Chen by the window years ago. She couldn't help but look towards the window seat, where two girls sat, one of whom was Zhuang Yuewei, whom she had just seen.
Seeing her look over, Zhuang Yuewei gave her a bright smile. In the sunlight, the smile was so beautiful that it almost gave her the illusion that it looked just like Xu Chen's smile when he sat by the window in the sunlight at three o'clock in the afternoon seven years ago!
My breath caught in my throat for a moment.
Suddenly, I remembered Liu Xiyi's poem "On Behalf of an Old Man with White Hair"—"Year after year the flowers are similar, but year after year the people are different."
In the blink of an eye, everything has changed.
So, this year the fallen flowers have changed color, but when they bloom again next year, who will be there?
Although she struggled to cope, it cannot be denied that honesty and cheerfulness were the first impressions Yu Lele left on her students.
A good start is half the battle.
Yu Lele's Chinese language classes departed from the traditional approach of teachers who simply followed the curriculum syllabus. In her classes, she boldly encouraged students to use their imagination and observation skills, to empathize with the characters, to find the most touching emotions, and even the most exquisite details in each text. She strived to cultivate her students' interest in language, sometimes supplementing their lessons with stories and passages she considered classic. Gradually, the atmosphere in Yu Lele's classes became increasingly lively, and even Zhuang Yuewei, whose Chinese foundation was weak, became fascinated with the Chinese language and literature.
She would often chase after Yu Lele after class and ask, "Teacher, 'Border Town' is so beautiful, but how can I do it? Why can't I do it?"
Yu Lele, holding her lesson plan, joked with her: "Because Shen Congwen is a great writer, while you are just a middle school student."
To everyone's surprise, Zhuang Yuewei shook her head very seriously: "No, no, I just wanted to express my thoughts clearly so that others could understand my feelings by reading my article, but I can't do it."
Yu Lele nodded: "Actually, before writing any beautiful article, you first need to have a beautiful heart. I think Shen Congwen, who wrote 'Border Town,' had a very peaceful heart. He just wanted to describe the purest and cleanest souls and love. So he used such a clean and pure heart to understand a character, and then the characters became beautiful under his pen."
Zhuang Yuewei thought about it seriously for a moment, then asked, "I also have a very simple and pure soul, so why can't I do it?"
Yu Lele smiled: "That's the charm of the Chinese language. Every emotion has many ways of being described, and the same expression can be described in many ways depending on the degree. You can use the most concise language to describe the most complex things, and you can use the most complex language to describe the simplest things. The former is concise, and the latter is elegant. So, you should thank your parents. They sent you back to your hometown to study because they hoped that no matter where you go, you can understand the emotions of Chinese people and understand their hearts."
She reached out and patted Zhuang Yuewei on the shoulder, smiling, "Keep going! I hope that when you return to America, I can often see the letters you write in Chinese."
“Okay!” Zhuang Yuewei smiled brightly again.
Yu Lele smiled as she watched Zhuang Yuewei's retreating figure. Not far away, boys and girls in school uniforms walked by, laughing and joking. Their clear and bright laughter made her recall those same sixteen or seventeen-year-old figures from the past.
It seems like it all happened just yesterday.
In the fourth week of their internship, the entire school organized open classes for student teachers. The student teachers all wore expressions of impending doom, as if they were about to be executed.
Sitting opposite Yu Lele was Cheng Kai, her Chinese teacher, who was five years her senior. When he heard that she was going to give a public lesson, he kindly asked her, "Which lesson are you going to teach?"
Yu Lele flipped through the book, looked at the teaching progress and table of contents, and casually answered, "The Lychee in June in the South, I guess."
"An expository text?" Cheng Kai asked, puzzled. "Is it easy to explain?"
"We've come this far, is there any need to change it?"
“Actually, you’ll have to teach these texts sooner or later. The open class is related to whether you can stay and work, so of course you have to find one that you like to teach,” Cheng Kai tapped the textbook. “You should also dress more formally, make the slides more colorful, and it would be best to enrich the teaching style. The atmosphere should be lively, but not too lively.”
“When we were in school, we just helped the teachers with class observations and inspections. Now we need the students to help us,” Yu Lele said with a wry smile. “Look at these textbooks. These are the same articles I read when I was in school. Not much has changed.”
She flipped through the table of contents: "The New Year's Sacrifice," "The Man in a Case," "On Taking Things Over," "Lotus Pond," "On the Faults of Qin," "On Teachers"... Why can't our Chinese textbooks keep up with the times?
Cheng Kai shook his head: "Talking about this is useless. We should hurry back and make the slides."
“Slides?” Yu Lele laughed: “I saw a lesson plan for a public class online yesterday. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was a kindergarten lesson plan for picture description.”
She looked down at the materials in her hand: "At the beginning, a close-up shot of a lychee is shown on the slide. At this time, the teacher asks the students, 'I'm sure you all saw this bright and tempting fruit on the screen. What is it called?' The students answer in unison, 'Lychee!'"
Cheng Kai laughed heartily, then shrugged: "But it's always like this. The ultimate goal is to get through the 45 minutes in a proper manner and deal with the leaders who come to observe the class. Whether the students feel disgusted or not is not important."
Yu Lele said helplessly, "Are teachers serving the school or the students?"
“You should serve yourself first,” Cheng Kai said with a smile. “First of all, everyone looks out for themselves; secondly, the college entrance examination is the benchmark. As long as you can pass the college entrance examination, personal preferences are not important, so it’s no use thinking about it.”
Yu Lele sighed: "You might as well just say that teachers are a vulnerable group."
Cheng Kai laughed: "Everyone is at a disadvantage when it comes to the college entrance examination."
The day before the open class, many language arts teachers were rehearsing in their classes. The students, like dutiful actors, performed a series of scenes: eagerly raising their hands, answering questions with perfect pronunciation, and engaging in lively but orderly free discussion. Yu Lele felt this preparation was hypocritical, but also worried about potential problems. So, during her composition class, she discussed with the students: "Tomorrow, school leaders will be observing the class. I don't think we need to rehearse. Let's just do it normally; there's no need for pretense. But tomorrow, everyone needs to give the teacher face, follow classroom rules, and not be late, okay?"
Seeing the students sighing and groaning in the audience, she added, "I know it's not easy for anyone, and I'm sorry to have upset you all."
It was a thoughtless remark, but the students immediately gave her knowing looks. One boy, passing by after class, even waved his hand, saying, "Alright, teacher, with your words, we'd definitely go to great lengths for you!"
Yu Le laughed happily.
I thought to myself: a little gratitude, a bit of understanding, a few acts of help—that's really all the students want.
17-1
The next morning at 8:18, the vice principal, the academic affairs director, and the grade leader arrived one after another. Yu Lele stood respectfully at the classroom door, and the students inside obediently remained quiet. The group walked past Yu Lele, through the narrow aisle between the desks, and to the blackboard at the back of the classroom, where they sat in a tightly packed row. Yu Lele glanced at the stern-faced school leaders in the back half of the classroom, then at the students sitting upright in the front, sighed inwardly, and remained silent.
At 8:20, the school bell rang. Yu Lele walked up to the podium, took out a huge plastic bag from her schoolbag, and opened it to reveal bright red, fresh lychees! The moment they were revealed, the students exclaimed "Ah!" in unison.
In that instant, all the proper sitting postures they had adopted were completely forgotten—the students chatted excitedly, and Yu Lele, feeling quite pleased with herself, directed the language arts representative: "Distribute lychees!"
Pang Yi, the class representative for Chinese language, was a boy. Upon hearing this, he immediately stood up from the back row, laboriously stepping over the teachers and leaders who were sitting between desks, preparing to listen to the lesson, and happily rushed forward. Along the way, he was kicked or grabbed by countless people who urged, "Pang Yi, get me a big one!"
Pang Yi ran to the podium, grabbed the bag of lychees, and excitedly asked Yu Lele, "Are they all being given out?"
Yu Lele waved her hand: "Send them all."
After thinking for a moment, Pang Yi picked out two plump-looking lychees and placed them on the podium: "Teacher, these are for you."
A chorus of boos erupted from the audience, and a boy could be heard laughing maliciously: "Pang Yi, oh~~"
Yu Lele smiled and glanced subconsciously at the leaders in the back row. Their expressions were unreadable, but several teachers seemed quite interested in watching the students scramble for lychees. Though a little apprehensive, she decided to encourage herself. While looking at Pang Yifa's lychees, she turned on the projector, and a title appeared on the screen: "Lychees in June in Southern China."
Yu Lele looked around at the students below the stage: "This is the text we are going to talk about today - 'Lychees in June in the South.' When I first read this text, I was the same age as you. I was drooling while reading the text in class, and I thought to myself that when I became a teacher, I would definitely treat my students to lychees when I taught this text. Now that dream has finally come true. Thank you everyone."
A faint chuckle rose from the audience. Just then, Yu Lele happened to see Pang Yi vigorously peeling lychees and said with a smile, "Pang Yi, eat slowly."
Pang Yi's mouth was stuffed with lychees. He noticed many eyes on him and soon burst into laughter. In his panic, he couldn't speak anymore and pointed at Yu Lele with a "you betrayed me" expression, which amused the teachers in the audience.
Looking at the smiling students below the stage, Yu Lele said, "You have all previewed this text before, and I have also listed the new words and characters for you. Now I will talk about some of the merits of this text that I personally appreciate."
She held up a lychee shell in her hand: "We often eat lychees, and of course we've read poems and articles about lychees, and we've also read many articles about this fruit. But Mr. Jia Zuzhang's lychee knowledge is clearly not just for show. In his explanatory text 'Lychees in June in the South,' after quoting Bai Juyi's 'Preface to the Lychee Picture' which says, 'The shell is like red silk, the membrane is like purple gauze, the pulp is as white as ice and snow, and the juice is as sweet and sour as nectar,' Mr. Jia points out in the sixth paragraph that the description 'the membrane is like purple gauze' is a misinterpretation of the pattern on the shell's flesh wall as the pattern on the membrane."
She pointed to the text quotation on the slides: "Therefore, almost every teaching syllabus we can see mentions this expository text, 'emphasizing both the use of ancient knowledge about lychees as evidence and the correction of inaccuracies.'"
She looked at the students below the stage, who had gradually quieted down: "I think what's more important when we learn texts is not learning new characters and words, but learning the writing style, the ingenious structure, and the cautious attitude. Writing is a serious matter, just like our lives—everyone has their own writing style, so what they write are different articles; everyone has a different attitude towards life, so what is presented is a myriad of lives. We are not great people, and we don't necessarily have to bear some grand life ideals, but we are all writers of our own lives, so we should at least write our own lives well with the utmost caution."
“The Chinese language is not simply a combination of Chinese characters; it contains a great deal of Chinese spirit. I hope that in my classes, you will not only learn from the Chinese textbook, but also cultivate a passion for the Chinese language and literature,” Yu Lele said, looking at the students with serious expressions. “You should be even more passionate about it than when you eat lychees.”
A knowing chuckle rippled through the audience. Yu Lele picked up her textbook and began explaining the paragraphs and structure of the text, supplementing her explanation with related poems, songs, classic articles, and passages. The students listened attentively, fiddling with the lychees in their hands. The 45 minutes passed quickly, and the open class ended amidst occasional bursts of laughter. When the bell rang, a student excitedly asked, "Teacher, what are we eating for class next time?"
Yu Lele looked up and saw Meng Xiaoyu, a very mischievous boy in the class. She smiled and replied, "Next time we're going to talk about the introduction to Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species,' what do you think we should eat?"
The boys in the back row collapsed onto the table, laughing uncontrollably.
Amidst laughter, the teachers who had been observing the class filed out of the classroom. Yu Lele turned her head and saw Li Jing waving at her, so she hurriedly gathered her things and caught up. The students behind her began to denounce Pang Yi's act of abusing his position for personal gain when distributing lychees, and the classroom erupted into chaos.
“Just now, Principal Li asked me where this intern came from. She looks more like a student than a student herself,” Li Jing said with a smile as she looked at Yu Lele in the office. “Your class’s open class was more lively than other classes’ activity classes.”
"I just don't want my classes to be too rigid," Yu Lele said.
“I understand,” Li Jing adjusted her glasses, “but it seems you spent relatively little time discussing basic Chinese language knowledge.”
“These new words and phrases are all in their reference books, so I don’t think it’s necessary to spend too much time on them. We can just discuss the controversial ones,” Yu Lele replied respectfully. “If there is extra time, I would be willing to take everyone to a class on appreciating famous works or reading.”
“I understand what you mean, but as the principal just said, your style might easily make you a friend to students, but it could also easily lead you astray from the college entrance examination.”
"I thought high schools nowadays were emphasizing holistic education," Yu Lele said with a wry smile.
“Quality education is an ideal concept. No matter how the college entrance examination model changes, as long as the admission method remains the same, even the most comprehensive knowledge can be adapted to the exam,” Li Jing said calmly. “You are too young to understand how devastating it is for parents when their children fail the exam. So even parents support our exam-oriented education. Teachers should just do their best to help students get into university.”
“Even if we raise bookworms who only know how to study, it doesn’t matter,” Yu Lele said, feeling frustrated. “In recent years, various media outlets have been reporting on high-scoring students who are actually incompetent. Can people really bear to see students with mentally unsound minds going to university?”
"University is the crucial period for the formation of one's worldview; it's where they will naturally learn a lot."
"This is escapism."
"This is not about shirking responsibility; teaching is your most basic duty as a teacher."
“But Teacher Li, what kind of ‘learning’ are you teaching?” Yu Lele became more and more excited as she spoke: “Are you teaching the simple 1+1=2, or the reason why 1+1 equals 2, or even greater than 2?”
“Lele,” Li Jing smiled helplessly, “I never knew you had such a sharp tongue.”
Yu Lele fell silent.
“There are some things we can’t change, so we have to try to adapt,” Li Jing patted Yu Lele on the shoulder. “There are many ways to be a dedicated and good teacher. Being close to students doesn’t necessarily mean being good to them. Sometimes being aloof is also a form of dedication.”
Yu Lele raised her head and looked into Li Jing's eyes. Her gaze was gentle, no longer showing the coldness and indifference that Yu Lele remembered from the past.
It was at this moment that Yu Lele suddenly realized: Teacher Li Jing has aged.
Seven years have passed since Yu Lele graduated from junior high school, and Ms. Li Jing is approaching 40. Yu Lele looked down and could clearly see Li Jing's tired eyes, the crow's feet at the corners of her eyes, and the chalk dust on her fingers that seemed impossible to wash off.
The white powder seeped deep into the lines of her fingers, forming shocking furrows. Those furrows were dry and cracked; she was no longer the young, beautiful, and radiant, even if somewhat overly strict, teacher Li Jing she once was.
A sudden, clear fear arose in Yu Lele's heart—how many years later, would she be like this? Dedicating her youth and beauty to the teaching profession, sacrificing her passion and ideals for the college entrance examination, leaving her indignation and determination in the past that has drifted away with the wind.
And when that day comes, will I still be liked by my students?
If the answer is no, will the belief that has sustained me in teaching for so many years collapse in despair?
She suddenly felt a strange doubt rising within her, one that wouldn't go away.
Amidst hesitation and struggle, Yu Lele entered her second month of teaching.
As she grew closer to the students in Class 16 of Grade 1, their bright smiles and simple dependence constantly touched her heart, as if repeatedly telling her: follow the path you want to take, and reach the hearts of the students as you wish.
However, Li Jing's words kept echoing in my ears, lingering and refusing to dissipate.
The contradictions made life busier, and when she was so busy that she was completely overwhelmed, she could forget the love that had seared her memory.
However, during breaks in class or moments while proctoring exams, she could look up and see Zhuang Yuewei's radiant smile by the window, a smile as bright and cheerful as Xu Chen's. She instinctively turned her head away, but even when she looked out onto the playground, she could still see the familiar parallel bars and basketball hoops. Faintly, she could still see him standing there, a sunny, handsome smile on his face, beads of sweat glistening on his skin.
She felt utterly hopeless—she was afraid to talk to Zhuang Yuewei, yet she longed for the moment when Zhuang Yuewei would sit in front of her and tell her all sorts of information about America.