clergy

Chapter 1

After Xu Zhengyang ascended to the divine throne and became the only immortal in the world, he was like a crab wearing golden armor that crawled out of the ditch, raising its pincers and holding its head high, running rampant without restraint...

Volume 1 Land Chapter 001 The attack went astray

It was just past noon, the hottest time of the day.

Not a single cloud was visible in the sky. The scorching sun hung alone high in the air, angrily blazing, baking the dirt road until it gleamed with a blinding white light. The trees and weeds were all wilted under the blazing sun, drooping listlessly.

The sweltering heat made everyone feel drowsy, so in the afternoon, everyone would crawl indoors, lie on a bamboo mat, and enjoy the cool comfort brought by the electric fan or air conditioner, taking a nice afternoon nap. Only the cicadas hiding among the tree branches were energetically making noise, disturbing everyone's peace of mind.

"Time to switch to Xiaomi'er..."

A loud cry of a vendor suddenly rang out over Zhugezhuang, carrying a certain charm and lingering melodies. It startled all the cicadas in the village, who fell silent and cautiously surveyed their surroundings.

Under the old locust tree beside the main crossroads in the village, a young man wearing shorts and a vest, with a buzz cut, stood with one foot on a stone bench and the other on the ground. He shouted a few times with a spirited but slightly mischievous grin, then sat back down on the bench, leaning against the old locust tree trunk, and lit a cigarette. Even after just a couple of shouts in the sweltering heat, the young man was covered in sweat as if he had just taken a shower; clear wet patches were visible on his shorts and vest.

Behind the old locust tree, against the wall, leaned a dilapidated old bicycle. Two sacks of corn were draped on the back rack, with a small half-sack of millet tightly tied on top. A scale was tied to the crossbar of the bicycle, and a weight and a plastic water bottle were hanging from the handlebars.

Obviously, no one will come out to exchange the millet during this hottest time of day.

He shouted a few times simply because he was bored.

You see, during this afternoon period, he had to endure the sweltering heat with extreme boredom, waiting for the sun's intensity to subside and people to wake up from their afternoon nap before he could continue his business, exchange the remaining millet, and then go home satisfied. For him, exchanging the remaining twenty jin of millet meant earning an extra three yuan, enough to buy two bottles of ice-cold beer, or a bottle of ice-cold beer and a pack of cigarettes…

Oh, speaking of which, let me give you a brief introduction: The young man who changed Xiaomi'er is named Xu Zhengyang, and he is twenty-one years old this year.

A few years ago, after graduating from junior high school, Xu Zhengyang didn't continue his studies. Instead, he and a few other guys from the village who also didn't go to school spent their days aimlessly, occasionally going out to do odd jobs to earn some money. Of course, they were mostly just playing around, and when they did work, they were only sporadic and didn't earn much.

Xu Zhengyang's family was considered indebted in the village, so after drifting aimlessly for a few years, he finally came to his senses and developed a bit of responsibility. That's why, starting last year, he began a small business exchanging millet for grain. Although he didn't earn a lot of money, he could still make six or seven hundred yuan a month by working hard, which was more than what his fellow construction workers earned, and it was also easier and more flexible.

At this point, you might think that Xu Zhengyang is nothing special, just an ordinary young man from the countryside.

That's true. He's just an ordinary person with no outstanding qualities or extraordinary abilities. He's of average intelligence and looks. He gets drunk and vomits, and he gets hurt when he's beaten... But then again, honestly, how many young people would be willing to put aside their pride and ride a beat-up bicycle to do small-scale street vending? Besides, every village in the surrounding area has Xu Zhengyang's classmates from junior high, especially the girls... Now you should understand something, right?

So, among Xu Zhengyang's friends, apart from those who were still in school, the others would rather work themselves to the bone as laborers on a construction team than risk their faces, which were actually not worth much, to do this kind of small business of hawking goods on the streets. They felt ashamed and embarrassed.

Xu Zhengyang's attitude was completely different. In his words, "I don't steal or rob, I earn money honestly, what's shameful about that? Besides, I'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond. I'm a boss, after all..."

The words may be crude, but the principle is sound. Any adult would be tempted to give a thumbs up and praise this young man for his ambition and potential. Some women have even privately considered marrying their daughters to Xu Zhengyang, firmly believing he will be successful in the future.

But how many young people can understand this?

So when Xu Zhengyang's classmates from his time at the rural high school saw him hawking his wares on the street in their respective villages, aside from polite greetings, most of them felt a bit disdainful, thinking that Xu Zhengyang was really shameless, doing this kind of business? He'd never amount to anything...

Enough with the small talk, let's get back to the main topic.

On this sweltering day, the streets were deserted, and Xu Zhengyang's business was temporarily out of the question. So, bored and somewhat mischievous, he shouted a few times, disturbing others' afternoon naps, but his boredom only intensified. He had planned to finish a cigarette and take a nap against a tree trunk, but the heat was unbearable; even the stone bench beneath him felt like it was being steamed alive.

Xu Zhengyang reluctantly stood up, letting his backside get some fresh air. He squinted through the dense foliage and looked up at the sky, muttering, "Damn heavens, it's so hot..."

Whether it was the heavens in the dark who were angry at Xu Zhengyang's cursing, a rumbling thunder came from the west just as he finished muttering his curses.

Xu Zhengyang raised his hand to shield his forehead and looked westward. An anxious look immediately appeared on his face. He spat and cursed, "Damn it, it's going to rain!"

Dark, gloomy clouds rose up on the western horizon, churning and rapidly swallowing up the clear sky.

Xu Zhengyang hurriedly jumped to the bicycle, grabbed the handlebars, turned around, and rode off towards the east of the village.

The biggest problem in this grain-barter business is rainy days. It's not so bad if you get soaked, but if the grain gets wet, it takes several days of hard work to dry it before you can sell it.

Xu Zhengyang's village is called Shuanghe Village, which is about eight or nine miles away from Zhugezhuang. It's not far, but the road conditions are bad. Most of it is a bumpy dirt road. In addition, he was carrying 180 or 190 pounds of grain on the back of the vehicle. It would take at least half an hour to get home.

Summer thunderstorms come particularly quickly. One moment the sky is clear and the sun is shining brightly, and the next moment the wind rises, clouds surge, lightning flashes, thunder roars, and torrential rain pours down.

So Xu Zhengyang kept chanting in his mind, "God, don't worry, please don't worry, give me half an hour. By then, I won't care if it rains knives or not..."

Unfortunately, he knew that God wouldn't slow down the rain just because he kept nagging.

So all the way, Xu Zhengyang was sweating profusely, pedaling his bicycle with all his might, racing against the dark clouds that were rapidly swallowing up the clear sky behind him. The rumbling thunder behind him kept ringing out, making him feel like an animal pulling a cart, with the watchman cracking his whip and whistling loudly to urge him to run faster.

In the distance, he could already see the houses on the edge of the village, but Xu Zhengyang couldn't relax. The dark clouds in the sky finally surpassed him, swallowing the entire sky and making the world suddenly dark and gloomy.

The thunder grew louder, like a large firecracker exploding in the sky directly overhead, deafeningly loud.

The lightning, like a serpent, darted and weaved through the dark clouds, displaying the power of nature and awe-inspiring all the tiny creatures in the world…

A few raindrops landed on Xu Zhengyang's face, reminding him that a downpour was about to begin.

"Damn it, wait a minute! Can't you wait two more minutes?"

Xu Zhengyang grew anxious and pedaled even faster.

When he was still more than a hundred meters from the village entrance, Xu Zhengyang rode his bicycle to the entrance of the local earth god temple by the roadside. Although he had reached the village entrance, his home was at the east end of the village, still about four or five hundred meters away. And with the heavy rain threatening to start at any moment, he would probably be soaked to the bone before he got home. But that wasn't the main concern; the grain loaded on the back of his bicycle was the real priority!

Sure enough, just as Xu Zhengyang pushed his bicycle into the earth god temple, a torrential downpour began to pour down from the sky.

Xu Zhengyang leaned his bicycle against the wall where the white plaster had long since peeled off, panting heavily. He reached out and patted the grain sacks on the back rack of the bicycle, finding that not many raindrops had fallen, and his heart immediately relaxed. Looking out of the temple, the rain was so thick that visibility was less than ten meters, and the light was so gloomy that it felt like evening.

After recovering, Xu Zhengyang didn't mind the dirt and plopped down on the altar in the local temple. He lit a cigarette and was glad he had made it back in time, otherwise he would have been soaked to the bone by the heavy rain.

Tick-tock tick-tock...

Because of years of disrepair, when it rained heavily outside the temple, it started to drizzle inside.

Sniffing the air, a foul stench filled the temple. Xu Zhengyang, with a cigarette dangling from his lips, looked around the temple, pursed his lips, and couldn't help but curse inwardly: "Damn it, who the hell is so bored that they come here to poop and pee... Look at this pile of shit on the ground... Damn, there's even a dry pile of shit on the back wheel of the bicycle."

"Damn, I stepped in shit too, what bad luck!"

He seemed to have forgotten that he too had defecated and urinated in this local temple.

According to the village elders, this local shrine has been there for decades. In any case, it's been there since Xu Zhengyang can remember, and by then, it had been abandoned for who knows how many years. In short, even the village elders can't remember who built the shrine or who ever came to burn incense or make offerings.

Because the land temple is next to an old kiln pit from years ago, the geology here is unsuitable for farming. That's why it survived the massive land reclamation by villagers a few years ago and has managed to survive to this day. Although it is always on the verge of collapse, it stands up remarkably strong and has become a public toilet for villagers working outside the village, passersby, or children playing there when they occasionally need to relieve themselves.

This is an absolutely natural public toilet; all the dirt and filth will be dried and digested by nature over time.

Of course, the environment is really not good.

Xu Zhengyang stared at the pouring rain outside the door with a bitter face and a pout, praying in his heart that the rain would stop soon so that he could leave this dilapidated temple as quickly as possible. It was a damn no place for a human to stay!

"go out!"

A soft but urgent sound suddenly rang out in the dark temple.

Xu Zhengyang was startled and jumped to his feet, looking around. Besides rotten branches, weeds, broken bricks, clods of earth, and excrement scattered everywhere, there was nothing else in the temple!

Who is speaking?

"Get out of here right now!"

The voice rang out again, this time sounding even more anxious, with a hint of menacing anger.

Xu Zhengyang's heart jumped into his throat. Holy crap, he'd seen a ghost in broad daylight! The unknown fear prevented him from immediately running out of the temple and escaping. Instead, he stood frozen in the middle of the temple, his eyes wide open, his heart pounding, almost bursting into tears.

"out……"

Before the voice that seemed to appear out of nowhere could finish shouting, a thick bolt of lightning struck diagonally in from the doorway, silently piercing straight through Xu Zhengyang's chest.

Before Xu Zhengyang could even utter a sound, he fell backward to the ground with a thud, his head hitting the divine steps hard. Of course, at this moment, he could no longer feel any pain.

Before he lost consciousness, only two words came to his mind: "He's dead!"

In the dimly lit earth god temple, the mottled, less than one-meter-tall clay statue of the earth god on the steps trembled slightly, shaking off some dust. The air twisted and rippled eerily a few times, and a ragged, slovenly, thin old man appeared out of thin air and sat on the steps next to Xu Zhengyang's head.

"Sigh..." The old man, his face deeply lined with wrinkles, sighed heavily, a hint of frustration and sadness showing in his cloudy eyes.

Suddenly, the old man got up, walked unsteadily to the door, looked up at the gloomy sky where the rain was pouring down, and roared angrily, "Damn it, God, you missed!"

Volume One, Land, Chapter 002: I'm Just Too Lonely

Time travel?

When Xu Zhengyang woke up, the first thing that came to mind was this somewhat absurd possibility.

Oh, please don't misunderstand, Xu Zhengyang has never read any online novels, and he doesn't even know how to use a computer. The reason he knows about the currently popular term "time travel" is because some of his buddies who are still in college told him stories from online novels when they came back to the village.

However, when he opened his eyes and saw the dirty roof beams covered with cobwebs, and smelled the temple's unique stench, he felt both frustrated and somewhat relieved to know that he hadn't transmigrated and was still alive in the local temple.

Then, as if pricked by a needle, Xu Zhengyang jumped up and took two quick steps back. He stared at the strange old man sitting on the divine steps and asked with surprise and some wariness, "Who are you?"

"Land," the old man replied weakly, his eyes drooping.

"Land?" Xu Zhengyang scratched his head. Why such a strange name? Looking at the old man's tattered and unkempt clothes and honest face, Xu Zhengyang figured the old man was probably a mentally unstable, lost soul. So he stopped being doubtful or afraid. Shaking his head and sighing, he walked over and squatted down beside the old man, smiling as he took out a cigarette and offered it to him, asking, "Grandpa, where are you from?"

The old man shook his head and did not take the cigarette from Xu Zhengyang. After hesitating for a moment, he said, "This is my home."

"Ahem... Okay, so who else is in your family?"

"It's gone."

Xu Zhengyang was somewhat discouraged and lit a cigarette to smoke. Looking outside the temple, he saw that the heavy rain was still falling. He thought that once the rain stopped, he would take the old man to the village committee and have the village officials contact the township police station to try to find the old man's family or home address before sending him away.

Just then, Xu Zhengyang's vision blurred, and he didn't see the old man pull out a palm-sized piece of white jade from somewhere, hold it in his hand, look at it, and then look up at Xu Zhengyang and say, "Xu Zhengyang?"

"Hmm...wait, you know me?"

The old man muttered, "I am the local earth god. It's not hard for me to find out who you are, you silly boy."

"What did you say?" Xu Zhengyang was so startled that he sat down on the ground with a thud, quickly shuffling back to create some distance between himself and the old man. He then looked at the clay statue on the steps, then at the old man again, and involuntarily asked, "Are you... the local earth god of this temple?"

"Hmm." The old man nodded.

Xu Zhengyang was momentarily stunned, sitting on the ground for a long while before stammering, "Grandpa, please don't talk nonsense..."

"What nonsense are you talking about? If it weren't for this old man, would you have survived being struck by lightning?"

"This..." Xu Zhengyang recalled that he had indeed been struck by lightning earlier, yet he was completely unharmed, even his clothes were intact, and this strange old man actually recognized him. After a moment of astonishment, he came to believe that the old man before him was indeed a local deity... After all, it seemed that only a god could explain such a thing. So, he mustered his courage and said, "Um, thank you for saving my life, old man. Later, I'll come back to burn incense and make offerings to you..."

"No need," the old man shook his head.

Xu Zhengyang was speechless for a moment, and dared not go out. Well, he had encountered a legendary immortal! What kind of legend was this? In today's world, atheism has spread to every nook and cranny. How could he be so lucky as to run into an immortal?

After a long pause, Xu Zhengyang stammered, "Um, sir... if there's nothing else, I'll be going now. Oh, in the future, if you ever need my help, just let me know. I, I, I'll repay even the smallest kindness with the greatest gratitude..." As he spoke, Xu Zhengyang propped himself up and moved towards the bicycle by the wall, preparing to slip away.

"Wait a minute," the old man suddenly said.

Xu Zhengyang immediately stopped, not daring to move.

The old man tilted his head and pondered for a while before saying, "Since you say you'll help me, I want to die now. Can you help me die?"

"Huh?" Xu Zhengyang was completely bewildered by the old man's words and said awkwardly, "Grandpa, why are you doing this? It's better to live a miserable life than to die..."

"Enough with the nonsense." The old man glared, seemingly having made up his mind, and said angrily, "If you hadn't sneaked into the temple and blocked a third of the heavenly lightning, I would have died a quick and painless death. You ruined my plans, didn't you? You prevented me from dying and forced me to expend energy to save you... I've accumulated divine power for over two hundred years, finally attracting the heavenly lightning, and you ruined it all!"

What on earth is going on here? Xu Zhengyang bit his lip hard—it hurt!

"Will you help or not?" the old man glared angrily, as if he was about to pounce on Xu Zhengyang and bite the heartless bastard if Xu Zhengyang didn't agree.

"No, old man, what's bothering you that you want to die?" Xu Zhengyang quickly waved his hands and tried to persuade him, "Don't be angry, relax. If you feel that no one believes in you now, no one offers you incense, then I'll come and burn incense for you every day from now on. If you think this temple is dilapidated, cough cough, I don't have money now, but when I have money, I'll renovate this temple for you..."