The Return of the Soul

Chapter 4

This made me yell in disbelief. "All art-house romance films are like this. What do you want? It's already good enough that you can write something like this. The audience's eyes are discerning. I love watching these kinds of art-house romance films. Whether they're good or not, the box office will tell. You think these aren't high-class enough? Not big-budget epics enough? Do you think you can act out 'War and Peace'? Do you want to go to war and die for your country, or contemplate survival or destruction, and what's broader than the sky? Are you like Andre or Pierre? Do you want to copy 'Hamlet' into 'The Banquet'? Or copy 'Thunderstorm' into 'The Storm Is Coming'? Do you think copying is easy? Many people can't even copy well, their copies are full of loopholes, they even copied the four words 'there's more to come', a bunch of useless people."

I don't even like to use commas when I speak, and he almost suffocated from being overwhelmed by my saliva. Then he heard me say that he couldn't act in the works of masters, and he wanted to refute but couldn't. He didn't understand the last sentence, so he humbly asked, "What does 'there's more below' mean?"

I shook my head. Someone like him dares to complain that romantic dramas aren't "cool"? I scoffed and said, "Back in the imperial examinations, cheating wasn't allowed. Some people were incredibly resourceful and managed to bribe the examiner to get the exam questions. They had a ghostwriter write the essay, which they then smuggled in. But the paper was short, and the essay was long. The ghostwriter wrote it on the back of the paper, and fearing the student wouldn't copy it all, added four small characters at the end of the front: 'There's more at the end.' The student, of course, copied those four characters in as well. When the examiner saw it, he saw a perfectly good essay with that nonsensical 'There's more at the end' in the middle. What did that mean? He was caught red-handed immediately."

He laughed and said, "You're very interesting. Be my secretary."

"Damn it, what do you take me for?" I sneered three times and said, "See, see, your fox tail is showing, isn't it? You think you're still a big star? In this godforsaken place, what do you need a secretary for? To plan a new movie or to create hype? To hold hands with newcomers, kiss old flames, and have sex with half-new and half-old people? Or to jump into a river, get into a car accident, or disappear for 24 hours?"

He glanced at me.

Well, so you're playing the eye-rolling game with me now? I rolled my eyes back at him and said, "Stop rolling your eyes. We're all ghosts, you're not going to scare me. You've played these games before, of course other celebrities have too, it's nothing special."

He was speechless for a moment, and after a long pause, he finally managed to utter two words: "Boring."

Bored? Who are you talking about? Me? You mean I only care about gossip and rumors all day? I have a heart condition, you know. I can only stay home, read the newspaper, browse the web, and wander around various BBS forums. I am bored, but how can you blame me? It's all that stuff on the newspapers and websites. If anyone's bored, it's them, not the other way around! I asked fiercely, "Who? Who's bored?"

Unexpectedly, he honestly admitted it, saying, "I was bored, okay?"

This time it was my turn to burst out laughing, and I praised him, "Very good, some people are indeed better off as ghosts than as humans, and you and I are examples of that."

Only then did he become curious about me, stop dwelling on his past, and start caring about others. This shows that people need to be educated, and educated well. A self-centered person's flaws are simply the result of being spoiled; those around him should take more responsibility. He asked, "What's wrong with you now?"

I spread my hands, clutched my chest, and said, "I only remember that I had a heart condition, so I couldn't run, play ball, or swim. I even had to be careful when I laughed. When my body couldn't obey me, my mouth was inevitably a bit sharp, like a blind person's ears being very sensitive. But now I'm fine. I can run, jump, talk, and laugh. I'm incredibly agile."

He looked at my young face and suddenly said, "Poor little sister, you've been burdened by this illness and probably haven't enjoyed much of life, have you? Speeding, yachting, helicopters, scuba diving, horseback riding, golfing. If we had met before we died, I could have taken you everywhere."

I was deeply moved by him. I couldn't remember what my life was like before I died. Since arriving here, he was the first person I'd met, the first person of my generation, the first person to spout nonsense like me. I found him very endearing, especially compared to his dull and naive nature, which made him seem even more understanding. I said, "Why don't you be my older brother? At my age, I'm definitely an only child, without any older brothers or sisters. You have a younger sister, which is quite an advantage. Anyway, you're the boss wherever you go; your subordinates all call you Brother Luo, which sounds like Liu Luoguo (a character from a Chinese folktale known for his hunchback)."

He chuckled and said, "Okay, then you're my sister. My name is Luo Yi, what should I call you, sister?"

I pointed at him and laughed, "Are you being silly again? You know perfectly well I don't know, yet you still ask."

He laughed too, "I forgot."

I asked him, "What are we going to do next? We're just sitting here doing nothing, we need to find something to kill time. You're the eldest, you need to make the decisions. If we have a mahjong set, we can go and call a couple more gamblers. There are bound to be some serious gamblers among all these people. If we have a deck of cards, we can play Twenty-Four, close the game, and draw the turtle. If we have a deck of Pai Gow, we can play Pai Gow and pass the game. I know a lot of card games, even though you're a playboy and a heartthrob, you probably don't know as many as I do."

Speaking of this, I seem to see my lonely youth, alone, with no one to play with. I could only play cards like Twenty-Four and Pai Gow by myself. He saw my loneliness on my face and gave me a look of sympathy. He played ball, rode horses, swam, and flew helicopters; I just played cards. Although there are many kinds of card games, there is only one kind of loneliness.

His eyes were captivating, mesmerizing. When he looked at me with those tender eyes, it was impossible for a homebody like me not to blush. I was so glad I was a ghost; I wouldn't blush. To hide my nervousness, I said, "How about I teach you to memorize poems? Let's pick the longest ones; it takes at least two days to memorize one."

He was extremely frustrated and asked me, "Do you really think I'm so useless that I can't even recite poetry? What's my educational background? At least I graduated from a professional performing arts school, right?"

I laughed, "I don't mean to belittle you, and I'm not bragging. You probably only know 300 Tang poems and 50 Song poems at most. When I'm bored, I even recite the Book of Songs. You probably can't even recognize all the characters."

He stopped talking after I said that.

I stuck out my tongue and asked, "Are you angry?"

Instead of answering directly, he said, "I feel like you look down on me a bit. Is it my profession, or me as a person?"

I hadn't expected to hurt his fragile ego, so I felt I needed to soothe him. "Actually, I really like you, at least I like your movies, otherwise how would I remember them so well? As for your character, we didn't know each other before, so it wasn't my place to like or dislike you. That's your business with your numerous girlfriends. Your business with them says you're good, hardworking and dedicated," oh my god, I was practically a suck-up, almost a die-hard fan. "Your girlfriends have their says, some good, some bad, but it's a matter between men and women, and outsiders shouldn't comment." Then I felt I needed to add, "Since you became a ghost, your ghostly character has improved, otherwise why would I acknowledge you as my older brother?"

He nodded, seemingly quite satisfied with my explanation. I secretly wiped away non-existent sweat, celebrating that I had gotten away with it again.

A wise man doesn't hold grudges against a petty person, and an older brother doesn't hold grudges against his younger sister. He said, "You mentioned earlier that you could open a company here to make money, or pursue a combined master's and doctoral degree. After thinking about it, I still think opening a company is better. You continue to enlighten the wronged souls, and I'll be your agent. That way, once we reach a certain quota, we can both leave."

I stared at him as if I had seen a monster.

Cabbage with red ribbon

If someone behaves too strangely, people will say they are possessed by a ghost. But what if a ghost behaves too strangely? Does that mean its humanity is immortal?

Humanity never dies. Hmm, that's a good phrase. It seems being a ghost is indeed better. The name sounds nice, but it can't hide his monstrous nature. I said, "Brother Luo, Mr. Luo, Luo Mingxing, first get your identity straight. You're a ghost, okay? How can you run a company? There's white fog on all sides, wind coming from all directions, and the walls are so tight. How can I work here? And where's the office building? Where are the offices? Where's the tea stove? Where's the coffee machine? Where's the executive desk? Where are the cubicles? Where do I sit to meet clients? Where do I lean back when I get tired?" After a long rant, I finally said readily, "Get me a big red velvet chaise lounge, and I'll play with you for a bit."

Luo Mingxing patiently listened to my rambling before saying, "I was just using an analogy, that's the gist of it. Why are you taking every word so seriously? You're so long-winded, I wonder if your family couldn't stand your nonsense and smothered you with a pillow?"

I was so angry I wanted to cry, but unfortunately, I had no tears. "Hey, don't hit someone in the face, don't insult someone's weaknesses, and don't expose a ghost's secrets. Be careful, or I'll sue you for defamation." Where can I sue you? Is there a ghost leader here who manages disputes between ghosts?

He asked, "Who did I slander?" with an amused look on his face. It's surprising that Mr. Luo can joke now.

I said with a straight face, "My parents. You have to understand, I have parents too. I don't have an assistant or a nanny, but I definitely have parents. I'm so young, and with such a reckless personality, my parents must love me very much. To say that I was suffocated by my family is slander against them."

He was taken aback, then realized he had misspoke and quickly apologized, saying, "I'm sorry, I was being tactless with my joke."

I nodded. “I accept it. I’m definitely the kind of person who is loved like a precious gem by my parents, unlike you. Your funeral was handled by your assistant and agent. Your parents were busy fighting a lawsuit over your inheritance. They only made an appearance at the funeral and then held separate press conferences.”

Brother Luo's face twitched slightly, and he said, "You just said you wouldn't slap me in the face, expose my shortcomings, or reveal my true colors. How come you're suddenly poking at my sore spots?"

I gently patted my mouth. "Then I'll apologize too. But I meant well by giving you a heads-up, so you'll remember how you died. Once you know the answer, you can leave and won't have to run this damn company." Saying the words "damned company" made me laugh.

To my surprise, he said, "If we're going to leave, we'll leave together. As the older brother, I can't leave my little sister here alone. I'm not going to look for the answer anymore. I guess the answer won't be good, and knowing it will only make me sad. It's meaningless. You don't even know who you are, and you're not a celebrity. Someone else can tell you. It's better if we work together. If we succeed, we can both leave. That way, I'll have fulfilled my responsibility as the older brother."

I was initially moved and almost asked to borrow his white handkerchief to cry, but then I suddenly realized something and said, "You're just trying to hitch a ride, aren't you? You can't enlighten the wronged spirits yourself, and you have no other way to escape, so you insist on being tied to me. If I succeed, you succeed too. If it doesn't work out, we can all stay here. But if it does work out, well... hehe, you've got a good plan."

Brother Luo rolled his eyes at me, "With the mind of a petty person..."

"Judging by the narrow-mindedness of a petty person," I quickly replied, lest he boast about being a gentleman. Pshaw, I've never heard anyone call him a gentleman.

He laughed heartily, then suddenly said, "Little sister, I guess I know why you came here."

I was startled and looked at him, hoping he would say something nice.

Brother Luo said, "You must be reluctant to leave your parents." I scoffed, thinking, "What's so special about that?" He continued, "And your boyfriend too."

"Brother Luo..." My eyes reddened again, I was practically a little white rabbit. "You think I have a boyfriend?" Do I? Have I ever had one? Ah, I've watched so many romantic movies, I'm desperate to be loved, but who would love me? I'm flat-faced, flat-chested, and have only half a heart, I'm always half-dead, I'm a burden to my parents, and now I want to burden others too? Who's a fool to like someone who lives for today and has no tomorrow?

My older brother patted my hand and said, "There must be. You're so cute, witty, humorous, knowledgeable, self-deprecating, and good at making fun of others. Plus, you're...innocent." He thought for a moment before finding this word.

I laughed out of my "heart-wrenching sorrow," and said, "Brother, you really know how to comfort people. No wonder you're a big star, you've almost convinced me. Pure, ha, how did you come up with that? Well, I'm so young and sickly, it would be strange if I wasn't pure. All the female stars in your circle are so charming, it's rare to see someone as innocent as me. But even a cabbage is precious because it's rare. As Lu Xun said, the cabbages of Jiaodong must be tied with red silk thread."

"Haha, haha, I knew it! Only you could say something so funny. What, you still don't believe that you're so innocent and cute that you'd have a boyfriend who loves you very much?" It's great to have an older brother. Being an older brother is so classy. He doesn't care about his little sister's nonsense at all and is determined to boost my confidence.

The cabbage with the red ribbon in its hair said, "I believe you. Who is Luo Yi? He's traveled all over the mountains and rivers, seen all the beautiful things in the world. He says I'm cute, so I am cute. He says I have a boyfriend, so I definitely have a boyfriend. Brother, do you think he'll be very sad if I die? How long will he stay to mourn for me? I must have stayed here because I couldn't bear to leave them, right?" The cabbage wasn't hollow; it had a very honest heart.

Big Cabbage's brother said, "He will be just as sad as your parents. He will remember you until he dies. Even if he gets married in the future, he will still remember what you look like and the jokes you used to tell him."

Under such a barrage of sweet talk and sugar-coated bullets, a simple cabbage had become a bowl of boiled cabbage, softly soaking in broth. Half of the broth was Luo Tianwang's saliva, and the other half was the cabbage's tears. The cabbage, with red, teary eyes, said, "Brother, you're so kind. Even if I die, it won't be in vain. They remember me, and I can't bear to leave them." She spoke as if it were the truth, a blatant lie. Luo Tianwang, true to his name, captivated countless fans with his acting; a cabbage became a fan in the blink of an eye.

Luo Tianwang said, "If they knew you would be wandering here, they would be very sad. For everyone's sake, you should leave them behind, find something worthwhile to do, and leave as soon as possible."

My cabbage heart, now soft and mushy, has become a famous dish in Shanghai canteens—stuffed cabbage with shredded pork. I said, "Let's get started. You go catch those unlucky guys, and I'll do the work. We'll eliminate them one by one, and deal with two at a time. The sooner we finish our quota, the sooner we can leave. In our next life, we'll still be siblings."

Luo Tianwang said considerately, "Okay, let's remain brother and sister. Are you tired? Would you like to rest for a bit? There's no bright red velvet chaise lounge here, but there's a black Armani armchair. Would you mind making do with that?"

I chuckled and said, "Okay, I'll rely on you then." It's so nice to have an older brother.

We sat back to back, supporting each other. The ghost realm was so cold; warmth was the most precious thing. Since arriving here, I'd been walking like the wind, standing like a pine tree, sitting like a bell—I was truly exhausted. Leaning against it, weariness washed over me like a tidal wave, and I closed my eyes, wanting to sleep.

In my dream, I seemed to see a piece of calligraphy, written in cursive script on snow-white Xuan paper, framed with blue silk. The ink on the paper was as black as lacquer, with delicate white strokes, extremely elegant. It read: "A pillow of gentle breeze, I hear there are ghosts." The first line was quite refined, the second quite vulgar; the contrast between elegance and vulgarity was amusing. I laughed out loud in my dream, noticing a vermilion seal in the lower left corner. I wanted to get closer to see who had written this witty piece. But as soon as I moved, I slid off the Armani chair, my head slamming down, almost breaking my neck.

As I fell asleep, Luo Yi woke up too. I was still half-asleep, while he was half-awake. I was still thinking about the amusing story of "A gentle breeze on a pillow, and I've heard of ghosts," and I guessed my older brother was also lost in some sweet, dreamy fantasy, filled with joy. Just as I was about to savor the dream, and then looked at the endless, white, foggy plain before me, anger welled up inside me, and I roared, "Let's get to work!" I stood up, rubbing my hands together, ready to get to work.

The elder brother said, "Wait here, I'll go and call a few impatient ghosts." I didn't want to be alone, so I said, "I'll go with you." The elder brother said that was fine, and the two of us ghosts set off side by side.

After drifting around for a while without encountering a single ghost, I said, "Brother, it seems I went too far. I said a few words for Zhu Maichen's wife, and they all ran away in anger. It seems this woman is truly a jinx; whoever gets involved with her is doomed. Maybe Zhu Maichen couldn't get an official position because of her. Look, as soon as she left, Zhu Maichen became rich and powerful, becoming the governor of Kuaiji. I used to enlighten every ghost I met, and those ghosts almost treated me like a savior, chasing after me and following me relentlessly for several streets. Ever since I met her, my luck has run out; I'm almost becoming a demon. Now they all avoid me, not a single one showing themselves."

I was still rambling on when suddenly my older brother flashed out, stretched out his arm, and pulled a ghost out of the mist, saying with a smile, "Don't you want to leave? Tell the immortal what your wish is, and she will surely send you on your way." I didn't expect Luo Tianwang to be so skilled; it was like watching a martial arts movie. Hmm, has he acted in action movies?

The ghost was a modern, middle-aged female ghost with a fierce expression, her brows furrowed and eyes glaring, like a wrathful Vajra in a temple. She had short, permed hair, wore rose-red lipstick, and a coffee-colored, floral-patterned, button-down jacket—what people commonly call a Tang suit. Whoever came up with that name, it's so tacky. What exactly is a Tang suit? Go look at the palace maids' attire in Zhang Xuan's painting "The Preparation of Silk," with their gauze skirts and shawls—that's what a Tang suit looks like.

The fierce-looking woman stared at Luo Yi's infamous face. I thought she was going to gasp, then hug and kiss him forcefully, like a middle-aged Japanese woman meeting a Korean actor. But instead, she shoved Luo Yi's hand away, spat, and said, "Pretty boy, get lost." She glanced at me and said, "Young lady, stay away from him. No man is good. Besides, he has those flirtatious eyes, and you're so plain-looking. If you go with him, you'll be played with sooner or later. Like me, my deadbeat husband, shameless old man, sleeping with a twenty-something bitch, no shame whatsoever. I brought my girlfriends to catch them in the act, took pictures of the naked bodies of that pair, and sent them to all our acquaintances." "I've utterly disgraced them. I took the photos to the Women's Federation, the People's Congress, and the workplaces of those two bastards, but none of those places cared. Damn it, they even reported me to the police station, and they arrested me, saying I violated their privacy. Damn it all! If they dare to do it, I dare to expose them. I'm not someone to be trifled with. Good heavens, where is there anywhere to deal with these adulterers? Is there no place in the world where justice is served? I'm the victim, why am I the one being arrested?..."

She tried to grab me and continue, but I screamed and ran away, Luo Yi following me. The fog closed in behind us, obscuring her figure, but we could still hear her fierce curses continuing unabated.

Liuquan Jushi, Mr. Liaozhai

How many ghosts are lurking in the fog? Why can't I hear them, see them, or sense them? Yet they are everywhere. Luo Yi floats around me, alert, occasionally darting out to grab a ghost. Some howl and run away, others pop out to glance at me suspiciously before disappearing back into the fog. They no longer treat me like a treasure; once my three tricks are used up, they're no longer in demand.

I said, "Brother, these guys are so stingy. They deserve to be stuck here. I was just a little blunt and didn't please them, but they're already risking their future like this. They're a bunch of short-sighted devils."

Luo Yi, always good-natured, said, “Your insights are too modern; of course they can’t understand them. Don’t be too discouraged. After a while, their curiosity will return, and they’ll come looking for you again. Someone with your magical powers is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and they won’t want to miss it. It’s just that they’re having some difficulty accepting it right now.”

I looked around and felt like I was surrounded by ghostly figures in the fog. They were following me, refusing to come out but not wanting to give up either. They were probably trying to figure out what kind of person this new ghost was.

I thought of the female ghost from earlier and felt sad. I said to my older brother, "Look at the ghosts I've encountered. One was an ancient god who ran to his death for his ideals. He was a great hero, the only one of his kind in history, so there's no need to talk about him. Zhang Fei, Zhang Yide, was also a true hero. Even in death, he was still so heroic. I just want to know his head. As for that rich man, although he was a bit slow, a million taels of silver is no small amount. He's definitely richer than you."

Luo Yi nodded, "That's for sure. How can I compare to these big tycoons? Just their real estate, properties, fields, and population are beyond what ordinary people can support. By the way, what did you want to say?"

I said, “Men care about big things: the universe, a good life, a million-dollar fortune. But look at women! They come and go, all for their men. They worry about men's infidelity, their heartlessness. Even if he no longer loves her, treats her like water spilled on the ground, women still worry about them, torment themselves, and won't give up even in death. In the past, people had limited knowledge and couldn't live without men, so hoping for a man to be successful and earn more money wasn't wrong. Nowadays, women are educated and capable of living on their own, but they still put all their energy into men. If they don't love them, it's like the sky has fallen; a failed marriage is a failure of life, even life itself is superfluous. It's truly pitiful.”

Luo Yi listened without saying anything, so I continued, "Is it meaningful to go through all this for the man beside you? But look at her, someone like her, even Buddha, God, and the gates of hell wouldn't be able to wake her up. Her heart can't hold anything else but this one thing, she'll be entangled in it even in death. Are women really so narrow-minded that they can't see anything else?"

I wonder, why did I die? And why didn't I try to live? Could it have been for a man? If so, then I'm utterly pathetic. What right do I have to enlighten wronged spirits, what right do I have to mock Luo Yi?

Luo Yi, being an actor, was very good at understanding other people's thoughts. He asked, "Don't you want to think about yourself? Are you afraid that you're doing this for the same reason?"

I hummed in response, feeling down.

Luo Yi said, "No, you must have another reason. Not all women are so narrow-minded. Like that one just now, she has a psychological defect. Such people are born paranoid. There are also many paranoid men. You can't reason with them."

"But men are stubborn; they won't just revolve around one woman. They'll go out and conquer, do bad things, kill and set fires, and go crazy." I was very frustrated, feeling that woman was really disgracing women. "If you really hate him, you might as well just kill that man, but she can't bear to, and still wants him to change his mind. Really."

Luo Yi chuckled, then said, speechless, "Taking photos to petition is certainly not as glorious as murder and arson. What kind of logic is that?"

He actually tried to reason with me! I was so happy that I just left that woman behind. If I kept getting entangled with her, I'd be just as obsessive as her. I said, "Brother, I wish everyone were like you, with lots of boyfriends and girlfriends. That way, I wouldn't be clinging to one person and dying for them. It's so embarrassing, so shameful."

Luo Yi exclaimed, turned to look at me, and asked in surprise, "What? You have so many boyfriends and girlfriends? Besides having many girlfriends, do I also have...?"

I looked at him strangely and asked, "What's wrong?"

He asked me through gritted teeth, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, I've never heard of that," I said, puzzled. "Why did you suddenly ask that?"

Luo Yi said, "Didn't you say you had many boyfriends and girlfriends?"

I chuckled. "I was being fussy about the subject; I didn't make it clear. I meant men have many girlfriends, and women have many boyfriends." Suddenly, a thought struck me. "Dude, your death was so inexplicable; could it be related to men?"

Luo Yi's pretty face turned ashen. He clenched his fist as if to punch someone, but seeing my pathetic state, he let go.

I chuckled and said, "Brother, brother, this is nothing these days, why are you so angry? Okay, I admit I was wrong, I apologize." Seeing that his expression was still not good, I changed the subject again, saying, "I think there's something wrong with that forensic doctor. He must be hiding something, otherwise he wouldn't have been unable to find anything."

Luo Yi was even more frustrated than me, saying, "Don't talk about me, I hate it when people keep bringing up every little thing about me."

I glanced at him, and he glanced at me; our minds were simultaneously on the same page. I pointed at him, speechless, while he opened his mouth, stammered out a single "I," and then couldn't say anything more.

Something flashed by. I know this feeling because I've experienced it myself.

Luo Yi's title as a superstar was not without reason. In the blink of an eye, he adjusted his facial muscles and said in a nonchalant tone, "If I could, I would really like to go back and find out how I died."

I agreed with him. Not knowing how you died was incredibly agonizing; even a ghost would be driven to despair by it. Why did everyone else know who they were, but the two of us didn't? Why did everyone else know what they wanted, but the two of us didn't? Why were we so special? I said listlessly, "Let's just wait it out. Anyway, we have plenty of time here. I won't get a single wrinkle, and you won't become an old man. Isn't that great? You'll always be this dashing, handsome man, and I'll always be a young woman. Isn't that wonderful? We're practically immortals. Tell me, what's the difference between being an immortal and being a ghost? Aren't we both immortals and immortals?"

How boring. We sighed to each other and continued our wandering.

Luo Yi's mood changed quickly. After a short while, he went from being depressed to being in high spirits and said, "Ten thousand years is too long. Seize the day. I'm going to catch ghosts."

I laughed and asked, "That's a very good sentence. Who said that?"