ill-fated relationship

Chapter 9

A week before his death, he received the devastating news from his hometown that his elderly mother with white hair had passed away, so I accompanied him back home for the funeral.

At the funeral, after the ceremony of viewing the remains, just as the coffin was about to be covered, all the relatives and friends avoided the scene with a sense of taboo. Only Zhuo Zixiong refused to leave, staring intently at his deceased mother's face, wailing and crying out in grief, "My mother loved me the most when she was alive, but I always hurt her heart..." His family had to forcefully pull him away, but he broke free and rushed to the coffin again in a flash.

In that instant, I saw it all too clearly: the sunlight shone precisely in the direction that cast Zhuo Zixiong's shadow onto the corpse in the coffin. At that moment, the coffin lid was quickly closed, trapping Zhuo Zixiong's shadow inside as well.

I know it's inappropriate.

But all they could do was anxiously wait.

Sure enough, when the funeral procession returned, Zhuo Zixiong was unconscious.

The Zhuo family was in a frenzy, applying medicated oil, giving him ginger soup, pinching his philtrum, shaking his shoulders, and pounding his chest, trying everything they could to wake him up. They spent the whole night trying, but they couldn't manage it. The next day, they had to call a doctor to come and give him a heart stimulant, but that was still ineffective.

At this point, I cried and said, "I saw his shadow locked in the coffin!"

Upon hearing this, the Zhuo family members turned pale with fright and exchanged bewildered glances.

So they invited Nanmu Lao back home.

Upon seeing Zhuo Zixiong's increasingly cold and stiff face, Nanmu Lao exclaimed in alarm, "We can't delay any longer! His soul has already entered the underworld. If more than seven days pass, he will never return, and his physical body will also perish without warning. The only way is..."

"What method?" everyone asked anxiously, and I was burning with anxiety.

“Open the coffin and release the soul! His soul is locked inside Old Lady Zhuo’s coffin. The only way is to open Old Master Zhuo’s coffin and release his soul, but…” Old Master Nanmu hesitated.

"But what happened?" I asked quickly.

Nanmu said solemnly, "Opening the coffin and releasing the soul concerns the Zhuo family's feng shui. I don't know if it will bring good or bad fortune..."

I said sternly, "Good or bad feng shui doesn't matter! Human lives are at stake!"

After I finished speaking, I saw the entire Zhuo family giving me cold looks.

I could only change my words: "Feng shui things can be remedied, but Zixiong's life is at risk. If we delay any longer, it will be terrible!" My eyes welled up with tears. At first, I may have approached Zhuo Zixiong with a sense of self-abandonment, but as time went by, I eventually developed feelings for him.

After discussing it, the Zhuo family came up with a solution that would satisfy both the family's feng shui and Zhuo Zixiong's life: instead of breaking the ground and prying open the coffin, they would simply drill a hole in the soil of the grave, all the way through to the coffin board, so that Zhuo Zixiong's soul could come out.

That was the decision. They started preparing everything that very day. First, they put up a cloth canopy over the grave, because they were afraid that Zhuo Zixiong's soul would linger in the underworld for too long and become tainted with heavy yin energy. Once he came out, he would not be able to withstand the intense sunlight and would crawl back into the coffin.

After asking what Zhuo Zixiong liked to eat, the old man instructed the Zhuo family to prepare some of his favorite foods and place them in front of his grave. In addition, he asked someone who was closest to Zhuo Zixiong to kneel on the grave and keep calling his name, so that his soul would hear the call of his beloved and stay there instead of wandering away.

The Zhuo family was well aware of Zhuo Zixiong's homosexual tendencies, and they certainly understood my identity. So, based on my intimate relationship with Zhuo Zixiong, I accepted the old man's arrangement, knelt on Old Madam Zhuo's grave, and mournfully called out Zhuo Zixiong's name.

---janeadam

Reply [28]: However, Zhuo Zixiong did not wake up even though all the questions were answered.

Of course, it's not that I never opened my eyes even once. It's just that when I did open my eyes, it was a very weak and feeble kind of "awakening," the kind of "awakening" that felt like I was constantly struggling with something.

He didn't say anything, but when his eyes fell on me, he called out in a trembling voice, "Shen Anting!"

Shen Anting!

Zhuo Yuxiong encountered Shen Anting in the underworld and became entangled with her, unable to return to the mortal realm.

That must be true.

Zhuo Zixiong won't live much longer!

I don't want to live anymore!

Jie'er is dead.

Pei-Ching also died.

Now it's Cheuk Chi-hung's turn to die.

I am the only one left still alive, and living like this is worse than death.

After Cheuk Chi-hung breathed his last, I quietly returned to Hong Kong. I didn't shed a single tear the whole way; I couldn't cry anymore. I could only sob uncontrollably, my chest ached in waves, and even sitting down, my knees trembled violently, and my back felt ice cold.

I returned to the love nest I shared with Zhuo Yuxiong, drew the curtains, closed the front door, and went back to the kitchen. I filled a kettle with water and put it on the gas stove. In the time it took to boil the water, I found the last dozen or so sleeping pills in the drawer. Later, as the water was almost boiling, I placed my hand on the kettle handle. I could feel the warm kettle shaking and making a whistling sound, as if someone was crying there. Standing by the kettle, I kept thinking about Shen Anting's unseeing expression and curses. A burst of steam hit my face, soaking it completely.

The water boiled, so I moved the kettle aside. The gas flame resembled a large, hard, black-hearted blue chrysanthemum, its slender petals curling inward. I gradually turned the flame down, and the petals shortened, almost disappearing, leaving only a ring of neat little blue teeth. The teeth gradually faded, but before completely vanishing, they suddenly lunged outward, extending into sharp fangs an inch or two long. In a split second, they exploded with a "pop," vanishing into nothingness. I turned off the gas, then ran around the entire house checking to make sure all the windows and doors were closed and latched. I turned the gas back on, but this time I didn't strike a match. As the distinctive, faint smell of gas gradually intensified in the house, I swallowed the dozen or so sleeping pills mixed with cold water from the water tank. The sensation of the cold water rushing down my throat sent a shiver through me. Afterward, I scalded the gleaming fruit knife with the boiling water I had used earlier, picked it up, and with all my might, first viciously slashed at my left wrist, then tremblingly raised my bloodied left hand, gripped the knife, and viciously slashed at my right wrist...

Yes, I committed suicide.

Three suicide attempts.

I'm afraid I won't get enough sleeping pills and it will kill me.

So the gas was turned on again.

Additionally, wrist-cutting was performed.

My only goal is to die.

Because I have no other choice.

There is nothing but death.

But even after taking sleeping pills, turning on the gas, and cutting my wrists, I still didn't die.

When I woke up, I was already lying in the psychiatric ward of the hospital.

"My body was saved in time, but in my mind, I was dying inch by inch, and this lovely, beautiful, and colorful world was dying inch by inch as well. Everything I could see and touch died instantly."

From the moment I awoke, when I realized I was still alive, I resolved to stop crying and stop speaking.

---janeadam

Reply [29]: I even refuse to eat.

The nurses pried open my mouth and forced the porridge down my throat, but I vomited it all up.

The hospital had no choice but to give me an IV glucose drip.

I even refused to open my eyes again.

I should not ignore any visits or calls from anyone.

I am not pretending that I am dead; in fact, I am not much different from a dead person.

They are simply the real dead and the living dead.

I'm just a living dead person.

That's how life goes.

Until one day, my sister came as usual, sat down next to me as usual, and sighed.

"Brother! Even if you don't answer, at least open your eyes and look at your sister!"

I ignored her as usual.

"My dear brother! How can this go on?" I let her talk to herself, cry, and complain.

“Brother, how could I not understand how you feel? You refuse to eat, refuse to speak, refuse to open your eyes. Is it worth torturing yourself like this?…”

"Yes! It would be such a shame to die like this!" Ah! It was Li Peifen's voice.

"Peifen, you have to help me save my brother!"

“He essentially gave up on himself; he deliberately didn’t want to live anymore, and there was nothing I could do about it. I never imagined that now that the truth has come out, he’s ended up in this state…”

At this point, I felt a pang of sorrow.

"Peifen, what did you mean by the truth coming out?"

"Here's what happened. Ever since my sister's accident and death, although her death was quite bizarre, I've always been skeptical about the idea that she was there to avenge Shen Anting. I never really investigated it. It wasn't until your brother's... that Mr. Zhuo Zixiong, also had an accident and died that I finally decided to get to the bottom of it. I just don't believe a ghost can be that powerful, killing one living person after another. There's a saying: 'Humans fear ghosts three parts, ghosts fear humans seven parts.' This shows that if humans and ghosts fight, humans might not necessarily lose!"

"Hey! Peifen, don't change the subject. I'm anxious to know what happened!"

“I went to the funeral home where Shen Anting’s coffin was once kept and asked every staff member there, trying to find out about the process of preparing to transport Shen Anting’s body back to the countryside overnight. I heard that night was very horrifying…”

"Yes, yes, my brother went to the funeral home the next day and heard from an old handyman there that Shen Anting clearly died with a heavy heart. Her body was as heavy as an iron mountain, and even seven or eight strong men couldn't lift it. What's even more terrifying is that she was holding the bunch of keys to my brother's house in her hand, which were jingling. Her eyes were bulging open, her tongue was sticking out from her lips, and her stomach seemed even more swollen..."

"That old handyman also told your brother that the body couldn't be lifted at first. Later, everyone suggested that Shen Anzhun's father lie down next to his daughter's body and be lifted into the coffin along with the old man. That way, Shen Anting's body could be placed into the coffin smoothly, right?"

"Yes, that old handyman also said that Shen Anting was a really fierce ghost. The car carrying her body was driving on a flat road, but it felt like it was on a mountain road. It was bumpy all the way, and the engine stalled before the car even reached the intersection. Later, they had to ask the old man surnamed Shen to lie on top of the coffin so that the car could move smoothly..."

"Alas! It's all your fault, brother, for trusting that old handyman so easily. Otherwise, how could we have ended up in this half-dead, half-alive state?"

"Peifen, what did you say?"

“I found out everything. That old handyman took money from Shen Anting’s father and deliberately made up some nonsense to scare your brother.”

Is this true?

---janeadam

Reply [30]: "Whether it is true or false, you might as well go to the funeral home to inquire, and you will understand completely."

Why does that old man surnamed Shen resort to such deceitful means? What is he really up to?

"He's clearly angry that your brother wouldn't comb Shen Anting's hair or take her memorial tablet home." "My brother doesn't want to marry a ghost wife, that's reasonable. Helping those two old folks with the paperwork to claim the body is already a huge favor." "And there's more! That old man surnamed Shen, on the day of his daughter's burial, didn't he make a long-distance call to your brother? He said that when his daughter's coffin was being carried to the cemetery, it fell off halfway there, the lid flew off, and Shen Anting's body wasn't inside!"

"Ah, that's right! As a result, my younger brother got even more terrified after hearing this long-distance call, and he thought that Shen Anting's ghost had sneaked back to Hong Kong to settle scores with him!"

“That old man surnamed Shen was really too much, so when I went to his house to argue with him, he didn’t dare to utter a sound. He was verbally abused and then pretended to be kind and asked me if I needed the two old guys to come to Hong Kong with me to expose the truth to your brother…”

"Those two old bastards, if I ever see them again, I won't be satisfied until I strangle them to death!"

"Alas! What's the use now that the truth is out? Your brother won't listen to a word you say."

"Brother! Brother!" My sister practically threw herself on me, crying. Her warmth enveloped me like a soft, plush blanket. I broke out in a sweat and unconsciously opened my eyes, only to feel a sharp pain in my eyelids—hot tears were welling up.

"Sister!" I called out weakly.

"Brother!" The older sister was still crying, but couldn't hide her joy. "You heard everything?"

I nodded, turned to Li Peifen, and asked, "Then how do you explain Jie'er's death?"

Li Peifen stated unequivocally, "That was purely an accident!" She continued, "I've also reviewed Jie'er's death report. She died from her own obsessive-compulsive disorder, it had nothing to do with Shen Anting. She died from inhaling too much of the overly potent ant-repellent powder. You've known her, so you should understand that it wasn't just a simple matter of being afraid of dirt; her obsession with cleanliness was beyond what most people could tolerate!"

At this point, I finally tasted the joy of seeing a ray of dawn again.

I asked again, "What about Peijing's sister's death..."

Li Peifen's expression darkened, but she quickly regained her composure and calmness. Her voice was firm as she said, "My sister's death has nothing to do with Shen Anting. It was her own misfortune and short life; she can't blame heaven or anyone else."

I was puzzled: "What exactly happened?"