Bridge of Helplessness

Chapter 2

Jing Ren also came over. He didn't have a flower ball in his hand, but he took a small pink flower from the flower ball in Jiao Li's hand and put it next to the gold ring that tied my hair up.

Three people, no, hundreds of people were watching me, waiting for me to give the bouquet to one of them.

I could feel the astonishment and resentment in those gazes. I looked around blankly, wondering who would help me? Why was I in such an awkward situation? Why did Di Zhui, Jing Ren, and Jun Zhe give me the flower ball? They were all royalty, brothers. The small purple flower ball was crushed in my hands, falling softly all over my skirt, like my chaotic and disordered emotions.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [7]: On the way back, Jiao Li kept a straight face and didn't even look at me, as if I were invisible. I knew she was jealous of me.

Life after that was actually no different, except that my wife and sisters looked at me with increasing disgust, but they didn't do anything else. My father would occasionally see a thoughtful look in my eyes.

Mi Wu, on the other hand, was very excited, constantly asking for details, and then asking which of Di Zhui, Jing Ren, and Jun Zhe was better looking. I said helplessly, "They're about the same, they're brothers, and they all look very similar. Especially Jing Ren and Jun Zhe, they look exactly alike."

Mi Wu rested her chin on her hand and idly thought by the window, "It's a pity I don't have the fortune to see them, otherwise my life would not have been in vain."

Ah, I wish I had never met them.

No one expected Jing Ren to act so quickly, sending someone to propose marriage the very next day, which startled even her father.

Jing Ren, a prince, actually wants to marry a woman born to a lowly maid like me. Even my father finds it absurd. My father hesitated and said to the marriage proposal, "How can this be? The Empress Dowager will probably be angry."

The messenger said, "The Empress Dowager has already promised that the marriages of Princes Jingren and Junzhe will be arranged by them."

The father said, “But… how could she be worthy of the prince? Perhaps… look, I have three daughters, Chanyuan, Sefei, and Jiaoli, all of whom are well-educated, polite, and of good status. Why not choose one of these three?”

The man smiled wryly and said, "General, you know Young Master Jingren's temper. How dare I make a decision for him?"

Next, Jun Zhe also sent people, and even more outrageously, he brought betrothal gifts along with them, as if he had no choice but to agree.

My father reluctantly pleaded for a few more days' grace, when suddenly news arrived from the palace that the Crown Prince was also begging the Empress Dowager to arrange my marriage to him. My father was as if a catastrophe had struck. Pointing at me, he roared, "You monster! What sorcery have you used to bewitch these three princes? Making them insist on marrying you? Now I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. How can you, a lowly child, be worthy of entering the palace? If the Empress Dowager punishes us, won't our entire Fu family be wiped out?"

I knelt on the ground and cried, "Father, I did nothing wrong."

The father cursed, "You're just like your mother, a vixen who bewitches people. If I had known, I would have thrown you both into the well, so you two could both become ghosts."

I was horrified. Wasn't it said that he had given my birth mother away? How could she have been thrown into a well? I remembered the well in the backyard that had been sealed off. From a young age, the mistress had forbade us to go near it, and even the servants avoided it. Could it be that my mother's burial place?

The father realized he had let something slip, calmed down, and wearily waved his hand, saying, "Go down."

I stood up, and with a trembling voice, I asked, "Father, is my mother dead?"

My father was startled. He stared at me for a long time before shouting, "Get down!"

I retreated in a panic.

That night, exhausted from crying, I was lying down to sleep when suddenly someone covered my head, forcibly dragged me into a sedan chair, and swayed me to a certain place, where I was forced to kowtow. Only after the veil was removed did I realize that I had just married this thin, pale man.

He was a minor official, but he treated me quite well. I cried by my bedside for three whole days, and he just sat in a chair, rubbing his hands and sighing, then advised me to drink some water and get some sleep. Seeing that he meant no harm, I gradually stopped crying.

The minor official confessed that his father had given him a hundred taels of gold and promised him a bright future in officialdom, ordering him to perform this act. After much thought, I realized I couldn't change the facts, so I had no choice but to accept my fate.

After some time, my father sent Miwu to serve me as well. As soon as Miwu saw me, she burst into tears, hugged me, and said, "Why have you become so haggard?"

She added that her father and the Empress Dowager had conspired to feign acceptance of Jingren's marriage proposal, but on the wedding day, they would send Chanyuan to the bridal chamber in my place. The die was cast, and Jingren had no choice but to acquiesce. As for Junzhe, he was always a womanizer; she figured his antics would pass in a few days. She told Dizhui that she and the minor official had been betrothed since childhood, and even as the Crown Prince, he couldn't prevent someone else's marriage, so he had to give up. She then selected Sefei to be a lady-in-waiting in the palace, keeping her constantly by his side, hoping to make Dizhui forget about Naihe.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [8]: That's fine, but I just can't let go of what my father said: "...If I had known, I would have thrown you into the well with me, so that you and your mother could both become ghosts." What exactly happened when I was born? Was my mother killed by them?

Every night, I could hear a woman crying mournfully, but when I got up, I couldn't find her anywhere. I was so frightened that I thought I had been possessed by an evil spirit. I thought, that must be my mother.

The minor official's jurisdiction was a remote little town. There was a small hill outside the town, and I often went there to sit and daydream. Day after day, time passed by leisurely. I began to wonder, was my whole life going to disappear in this little town?

Autumn had arrived, and the weather was slightly chilly. Early in the morning, Miwu draped a sky-blue cloak over my shoulders and saw me off to my usual spot on the mountain before leaving. She would come back to pick me up in the afternoon.

I drew lines on the ground with a twig: Di Zhui, Jing Ren, Jun Zhe... These three princes who suddenly appeared in my life, did they just send me into the abyss without a care?

A rapid sound of hooves approached, and suddenly a man jumped down in front of me, grabbed me, and exclaimed, "Naihe, I've finally found you!"

I asked in surprise, "Jun Zhe?"

It was indeed Jun Zhe. He was still as handsome and wicked as ever, only now there was a hint of melancholy between his brows.

Jun Zhe said, "The Emperor has already made Serphie his Empress and Jiaoli his Consort. Your father has now become the Emperor's Father-in-Law."

I sneered, "What does this have to do with me?"

Jun Zhe laughed and said, "Of course it's none of your business. Now that Di Zhui and Jing Ren are married, no one will come after me to take you away from you."

I still sneered: "Don't you know I'm already someone's wife?"

Jun Zhe laughed loudly, "That petty official, how could he be worthy!" He lifted me onto the horse, mounted me, and laughed, "Now, you are mine." He whipped the horse and spurred it on, taking me away from the small town.

Jun Zhe's mansion, like his arrogant personality, exuded domineering power. From then on, Jun Zhe stayed by my side day and night, our days and nights intertwined in passionate embrace. In moments of intense intimacy, he whispered in my ear, "Alas, at first I was just being stubborn with Di Zhui, wanting what he wanted, I wanted too. But, after just one more glance at you, you've stolen my soul, and I can't live without you. Do you know how alluring you are? Like the purest, clearest drop of water from a celestial pool, even holding you tightly in my arms, I'm always afraid you'll suddenly melt away."

The jade pendant he gave me that day is now hanging around my neck, tucked inside my clothes, and I'm not allowed to see it easily.

With Junzhe's care, I gradually became plump. One day, I was sitting idly by the window admiring the snow when I suddenly saw someone push open the door and enter. He was wearing a crown and royal robes; wasn't that Emperor Zhui, who had already ascended the throne?

I was stunned, and didn't even know to get up and kneel down.

It's strange that Emperor Zhui was as gentle as he was that day; of the three, he, as the emperor, had the least of that kingly domineering aura.

"I didn't expect you to actually be here," the Emperor said.

I came to my senses and gracefully bowed: "I pay my respects to Your Majesty."

He reached out to help me up, his fingers touching the luminous pearl on my wrist. He was momentarily lost in thought and said, "In this world, apart from the Empress Dowager, you are the only one I allow to see me without having to kneel."

I said quietly, "How could I be worthy?"

Emperor Zhui gently stroked my face, then suddenly teared up and said, "Alas, are we truly destined to be apart?"

I bit my lip and said, "With Serphia and Lychee by his side, will the Emperor still remember me?"

The Emperor pressed on, saying, “The Empress Dowager said that since I am the Emperor, I should have a motherly demeanor to avoid violating propriety. I thought that since they are your sisters, they would naturally have some similarities. But who knew that they are not alike at all.”

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [9]: I couldn’t hold back my tears and said, “I was forcibly sent out of the city that day, and you let it go.”

The Emperor pulled me into his arms and sighed, "How I wish I could save you too. But though I am the Emperor, I am even less free than you. I wish I weren't the Emperor, so I could be with you."

A single word reminded me, and I shoved Di Zhui away, saying, "Now that I'm Jun Zhe's person, you come looking for me."

Di Zhui's face turned pale, and he said, "You, the person you love, is it Jun Zhe?"

I cried, "Don't ask me whether I love you or not. He was the one who rescued me from that dark place. I had nowhere to go outside. What do you want me to do?"

Di Zhui gritted his teeth and said, "Naihe, don't worry, one day I will stay with you forever."

I cried and said, "Don't ever use those words to coax me again."

Di Zhui gritted his teeth and said, "Believe it or not, I'm serious." With a heavy heart, he turned and left.

I cried until Junzhe returned. He hurriedly asked me, "I heard that Dizhui suddenly came today. What happened? Why are you crying?"

I pounded his chest and cried, "Tell me, how did he know I was here? Why did he come looking for me like that?"

Jun Zhe panicked: "How would I know who leaked the information? He, he's the emperor now, how could he disregard his dignity and come looking for you?"

I pushed him away: "Who has good intentions? Can't I have some peace and quiet? Why do you have to cause trouble and torment me?"

Jun Zhe said urgently, "I know, it must be Jing Ren's doing. No one else is as wicked as him. Don't cry, I will beg the Empress Dowager tomorrow to marry you and put an end to Di Zhui's absurd idea."

I burst into tears: "You're talking nonsense again! When I was at home, the Empress Dowager forbade me to marry you. Now that I am someone else's wife, how can the Empress Dowager allow you to marry me? If the Empress Dowager finds out that you forcibly took another man's wife into her household, she will probably punish you."

Jun Zhe swore, "I don't care. If the Empress Dowager doesn't agree with me, I'd rather die in front of her. I'm going to find the Empress Dowager right now." And so he went off in a huff.

I waited all night but Junzhe didn't return, but Jingren suddenly showed up at the door.

For some reason, I always feel a little afraid and hesitant when I see Jing Ren.

He stood at the door without going inside, looking at me from afar, and said, "It looks even better than before."

The morning sunlight shone in from behind him, making me a little dizzy.

He said, "Last night, Junzhe went to beg the Empress Dowager to let him marry you. He knelt all night. The Empress Dowager was furious and has ordered people to lock him up in Shuyun Palace. I'm afraid they'll come to bind you and bring you to the palace to be punished soon."

I bit my lip and said, "Did you send you to kidnap me?"

Jing Ren paused for a moment, then suddenly laughed and said, "No wonder they're both so infatuated with you. You're incredibly clever. Now, no one but me can save you."

I felt a flush rise to my face as I suddenly realized that this was the first time I had ever seen Jing Ren smile. Although he looked exactly like Jun Zhe, Jun Zhe's smile was mischievous and wicked, the smile of a playful boy, while Jing Ren's smile carried a hint of indifference and sarcasm.

Jing Ren took me to his residence, but the people sent by the Empress Dowager searched Jun Zhe's house but couldn't find me.

That night, I dreamt again.

Wuji sat alone on a high platform. On the platform was a bronze mirror with the words "No good person stands before the Mirror of Karma" engraved on it. He stared at the mirror, lost in thought.

I called out to him, "What are you doing?"

Wuji turned to look at me and said calmly, "Come and see."

I asked, puzzled, "What are you looking at? Hey, why aren't you and me in this mirror?"

Wuji said, "Neither you nor I are beings within the Six Paths of Rebirth, so this mirror naturally cannot reflect us." As he spoke, a woman was bound by ghost soldiers and brought before the Mirror of Retribution. Suddenly, an image appeared in the mirror, showing the woman's deeds in her previous life, and I vaguely seemed to see my shadow in it. The woman was initially stunned by the image in the mirror, but then she turned her head and saw me, gritting her teeth and saying, "It's all your fault! I only regret that I didn't throw you into the Avici Hell so that you could never be reborn."

The demon shoved her from behind and said, "You're going to the Avici Hell now. Come with me to report for duty." He then dragged her away.

---Magpie Bridge Fairy

Reply [10]: Wuji sighed, “How foolish, he will never repent.”

I suddenly remembered that in a previous dream, there seemed to be two women who kept saying they hated me, so I asked Wuji.

Wuji said, "You only need to remember to be forgiving when you can."

I remained silent for a long while, then said, "What should I do if someone tries to harm me or force me to do something?"

Wuji shook his head and said, "Everything is just an illusion, why take it to heart?"

I remained silent.

I woke up to find a flickering candle on the table, and Jing Ren sitting thoughtfully by the bedside. I sat up and asked, "What is it?"

Jing Ren said, "The Empress Dowager has ordered a nationwide manhunt for you."

I sneered: "What's the reason?"

"A demon bewitches the masses."

I laughed out loud.

Jing Ren suddenly smiled, a very strange smile, and said, "However, Di Zhui also gave an order that once you are found, you must not be harmed and must be immediately delivered to him."

I stopped laughing and said, "Why would he go against the Empress Dowager for my sake?"