Love, please don't bloom

Chapter 4

I figured the girl would definitely get off the bus soon, and I felt a little reluctant to let her go. But she didn't suggest getting off until I drove the car out of town.

I pushed my luck and a faint hope began to grow in my heart—maybe she could stay with me all the way to Datong.

As the sky gradually turned red, the rapeseed flowers by the roadside slowly lost their dazzling golden color, becoming somber and dim.

She asked, "Where are you serving in the army?"

"Datong" (Great Harmony).

What brings you to Huai'ren?

"...to carry out the mission."

She turned her face as if to ask something, but then seemed to change her mind, turning her face back to continue looking ahead.

I looked at her and said, "What are you trying to say?"

She turned to me again and asked, "Do you have a gun?"

"This is a military secret."

She stopped saying anything.

After a while, I said, "This place must be very poor, right?"

"They're all farmers, but money doesn't grow in the soil, so of course they're poor."

"Are you going out to work?"

She shook her head: "No."

"go to school?"

No, not exactly.

Visiting relatives?

"Stop guessing, it's neither of those."

Encounter on the road (2)

I gave an awkward smile and asked, "Where are you going?"

Her expression suddenly turned cold: "Are you trying to kick me off the bus?"

"You've misunderstood, I didn't mean that."

The sky darkened irreversibly, and the fair arm became increasingly blurry, though it continued to sway slightly.

A delusion began to form in my mind. Then, I looked at the digital watch, which showed 00:00:00. This had never happened before, and I thought it might be broken.

I looked up at her; she was watching me warily.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, this watch is broken. Do you have a watch with you?"

"No."

I slid the car to the side of the road, stopped, and said, "The air is so fresh right now, let's sit on the grass."

She looked at me and said, "Okay."

We jumped out of the car together, walked into the rapeseed field, sat down, and sat together in the cool breeze.

It was completely dark. A thin crescent moon rose in the southeastern sky, almost invisible unless you looked closely.

How far is it from here to Datong?

"You walk this road all the time, how could you not know it?"

"This is my first time here."

She looked at me and smiled.

"why are you laughing?"

"This isn't your first time here."

My heart jumped: "It's the first time."

“I’ve seen you twice, when you drove this Jeep down this road.”

Her words startled me.

"You've mistaken me for someone else; that's not me."

"It was you. The first time someone else was driving, the second time you were driving yourself."

"when?"

"I can't remember which year it was, but it was autumn."

After a pause, I suddenly asked, "Do you often walk on this road?"

"I sell apples by the roadside; they're grown at home."

I stared into her eyes and said seriously, "It really wasn't me. This is the first time I've ever driven in my life."

A gust of wind blew by, and she seemed to shiver. Then she squinted and said in horror, "The second time, you stopped the car and talked to me..."

What did I say?

"You asked me if I still remember you, but I don't know you at all, and I don't know what you mean. Then, you left inexplicably. Today, I recognized you as soon as I got on the bus."

I said, "I never imagined there would be someone in this world who looks so much like me!"

Another gust of wind blew by, and she hugged her fair arms.

I suddenly reached out and hugged her.

She struggled for a moment, just once.

And so, I had an affair with a girl I met on the road, in a rapeseed field between Datong City and Huai'ren County, on a moonlit night.

I walked with her for about thirty miles, from strangers to lovers, thirty miles is undoubtedly too short.

Afterwards, I let go of her, filled with fear and frustration. Women are so simple.

She sat up silently and picked the grass clippings off her head with her hands.

“I’m leaving,” she said.

"You hate me?"

No. I wanted to come here.

I was startled and looked up. In the distance, I saw scattered lights, which looked like a village, but it was at least ten miles away. Apart from those lights, the surroundings were completely dark.

She put her arms around my shoulders and said softly, "I'm telling the truth, I wanted to come here."

I was a little nervous and stared blankly at her.

She stood up, looked down at me for a moment, and then, sure enough, walked away unsteadily, in the opposite direction from the lights. The rapeseed flowers swayed gently and heavily in the darkness, and a few bats flew low in the air.

I suddenly thought I should tell her my name, but she had already disappeared into the darkness.

After a moment of stunned silence, I returned to the car, touched my face, and found that tears were streaming down my face.

I started the car, turned on the headlights, and drove forward.

That day, I lost my way. I was about to enter Datong City, but suddenly all the lights in the city disappeared, and somehow I ended up driving on a mountain.

As the mountain road climbed higher and higher, I got a little scared and decided to turn around.

Being someone who can't drive, I actually made a U-turn on that narrow, winding mountain road—right next to me was a bottomless abyss.

I was the only car on the mountain. The road was paved with the stark white of the car lights, and beyond that, it was all pitch black.

As I drove, I tried to recall what the girl named Sanlang looked like. Apart from her fair and delicate arms, I couldn't remember what she looked like at all.

I suddenly sensed a ghostly aura.

In the autumn of 1994, the year I was to be discharged from the army, I accompanied my section chief to the company in Huairen County.

The section chief was driving, and I sat next to him. It was still that big-tailed Jeep.

The jeep was driving on the highway. I looked out the window and couldn't help but think of that summer three years ago, and that girl named Sanlang.

The rapeseed had been harvested long ago, leaving the fields bare except for patches of wheat. The wheat was golden, burning brightly in the ripening sunlight. I can't find that place anymore.

The section chief turned to look at me and said, "Xiao Zhou, light me a cigarette."

I immediately lit a cigarette and handed it to him.

What are you doing, standing there dumbfounded?

"Let me see if there are any apples for sale on the roadside."

Are you thirsty?

"A little."

"There's bottled water in the back."

I turned around, opened a bottle, and handed it to him: "Section Chief, you can have this."

"I'm not thirsty."

Just as I raised my bottle of mineral water to drink, she appeared before me like a painting suddenly unfolded, as if she had been waiting for me—the jeep turned a corner, and I saw a white sleeveless shirt and a grass-green skirt. I was startled, and my heart began to pound wildly.

Encounter on the road (3)

I thought I would never see her again. Over the years, I was filled with longing every time I thought of her. But when I suddenly ran into her again, that feeling, like fine wine, suddenly turned into plain water.

I had only one thought: to get away from her.

She sat by the roadside with two baskets filled with apples in front of her. Next to her was a carrying pole, clearly used to carry the apples.

She saw me.

However, she didn't seem to recognize me; her eyes only seemed to be hoping we would buy her apples.

The section chief said, "Hey, there's someone selling apples."

I quickly said, "Section Chief, I'm not thirsty anymore."

The section chief didn't stop; he stepped on the gas and drove past.