She carefully packed everything into a suitcase, struggling to carry it downstairs, watching the taxi driver cheerfully help her put it in the trunk. Perhaps, even without the person, the memories are enough. One last look back at the window she'd lived in for four years, the old brick building, burying all her love and memories. Her gaze slowly fell on the dirty, messy garbage heap downstairs, where two black notebooks still had corners sticking out. Let all the memories be buried here; never look back!
Eight years—how long is that? The War of Resistance ended, the Chinese people were liberated, and Xiao Qiqi should be liberated too, right? From now on, she should be without desire, love, or wants. Love, too, requires strength. Xiao Qiqi's strength was exhausted; there was no room left.
At the Chen residence, Auntie watched once again as the drunken Chen Yuanxing collapsed onto the bed, wiping his face with a towel and sighing. Looking at that handsome face she had seen since childhood, always carefree, now etched with worry between his brows, her heart ached little by little.
"Yuanxing, just listen to your aunt, stop ruining yourself like this, okay?"
Chen Yuanxing drank heavily every night, hoping to get drunk, but his alcohol tolerance increased while his mind became clearer. He appeared drunk every day, but his mind was actually clearer than ever. Sometimes he would listen intently to the chirping of insects and the howling of the wind outside his window, night after night. He always heard his aunt's worried nagging every night, but he simply didn't have the energy to deal with her as before, so he could only pretend to be asleep. He didn't want to talk to anyone in his family; perhaps this was what Zhou Zijian often referred to as "heartbreak." "Auntie, my heart aches," Chen Yuanxing said, voicing his feelings for the first time.
Once the cockroach regains its strength, it will always have a chance to fight back. Perhaps.
Volume Three: Happiness is a Web
1. Drunkenness
Inside a luxurious private room on the fifth floor of the Huaji Grand Hotel, the sounds of enthusiastic toasting, crisp clinking of glasses, and triumphant laughter filled the air. But all of this remained confined to the interior. With the gold-trimmed door closed, the outside was as quiet as a lonely, dark night, utterly devoid of noise. A waitress in a deep red cheongsam embroidered with gold gracefully pushed open the closed door, a tray in her hand holding a blue-and-white porcelain vase. Xiao Qiqi sat facing the door, a perfectly proportioned smile playing on her lips. As she looked up, her thick eyelashes cast a shadow, and a flicker of her dark eyes caused her hand to involuntarily clench under the tablecloth. 52-degree Red Star blue-and-white porcelain!
Sitting to her right, Deputy Director Wei of Bureau X turned his head and saw the Erguotou (a type of Chinese liquor). He grinned and shouted, "Quick, open the bottle! Drinking Erguotou is the proper way to drink! This sweet wine doesn't count as drinking at all, right, Xiao?" As he spoke, he turned around and patted Xiao Qiqi's slender shoulder in a seemingly very warm manner. Xiao Qiqi grinned, and the corners of her mouth formed a strange arc. Director Wei, who was telling her to open the bottle, did not see it. The section chiefs opposite her, who had been helping to make fun of her, exchanged glances. However, Xiao Ning, her assistant sitting to her left, glanced at her uneasily.
"Xiao, you have to drink this wine no matter what, or you'll be disrespecting Wei Ping!" Director Wei stood up, shoved a full glass of clear, fragrant Erguotou into Xiao Qiqi's hand, his feigned anger barely concealing the smugness in his eyes.
Xiao Qiqi still wore her ever-present smile and stubbornly shook her head. "Director Wei, you're so magnanimous. You know I can't drink, so please let me off this time, okay?"
"No, no, we've let you off the hook so many times already. It's always us old guys drinking, but you, a young man, are acting all reserved. Do you think this isn't an invitation to drink, but rather an invitation to laugh at us?" Director Wei shook his head vigorously, gripping Xiao Qiqi's hesitant hand tightly, as if afraid she would put down her glass.
Director Qin across from them also shouted, "Yes, yes, Xiao, you can't not give our director face. Look, the director has been standing up for ages."
Xiao Ning stood up with a smile and went to take Xiao Qiqi's cup. "Director Wei, do you think it's alright if I drink it for Sister Xiao? Everyone in the company knows that Sister Xiao really can't drink baijiu. It's not that I'm not giving the director face."
Director Wei's face immediately turned cold. He released his hand, sat down, and said, "Well then, since Xiao Xiao even needs someone to drink for him, I was thinking that we could find someone to do other things for him too?" He glanced at the person opposite him indifferently as he spoke.
Director Qin smiled faintly and said in a drawn-out voice, "Director, since Xiao Xiao is so irresponsible, I think we should just let it go and not make things difficult for him!"
Xiao Ning's hand paused, and Xiao Qiqi's expression changed. She cursed inwardly, "Xiao Qiqi, aren't you proud of being a strong woman? You used to be able to drink a thousand cups without getting drunk, but today you're afraid of even a glass of Erguotou? Eighty million, eighty million! For the sake of eighty million, you have to go all out tonight!"
So he resolutely said, "I'll drink it!" Without further hesitation, he raised the cup and gulped down a full glass of clear, spicy liquid from his throat into his stomach, causing a slight spasm.
Only then did Director Wei put on a kind and cheerful smile, and clapped his hands, saying, "Xiao Xiao, that's more like it! As the most capable and tough operations director of XX Company, you have that much responsibility."
"That's right, that's right! Xiao Xiao has always been a heroine among women!" Director Qin smiled with satisfaction. "Waiter, fill Xiao Xiao's glass, I'll toast her too!"
...
Drinking, once you have the first glass, you'll have the second, and the Nth. It's like sex; once you do it, you'll have the second, the third, and the Nth time. Xiao Qiqi continued smiling, sipping glass after glass of the mellow yet fragrant liquor, the playful words Jiang Yilan often uttered involuntarily surfacing in her mind. Xiao Qiqi shook her head; the fact that she could still think of Jiang Yilan at this moment meant she was still quite sober.
Xiao Ning tugged at Xiao Qiqi's sleeve anxiously under the table. Xiao Qiqi turned her head, saw the worry in his eyes, and gave him a faint smile.
As Xiao Qiqi watched the sly-looking men stagger into the car, helped by the driver, a comfortable smile still played on her lips. The clatter of her high heels on the marble steps of the hotel entrance was steady and powerful. Wei Ju, still somewhat conscious, couldn't help but peek out and mutter, "Xiao...impressive. Have someone bring the...contract tomorrow..."
Xiao Qiqi's long eyelashes fluttered, a hazy sense of relief flashing in her eyes. Only when the car's taillights kicked up a thin cloud of dust in the neon-lit night, disappearing from sight, did Xiao Qiqi's body go limp, and she collapsed to the ground. Xiao Ning, who was prepared, caught her instantly.
"Sister Xiao, are you alright?"
Xiao Qiqi clutched her churning, spasming stomach with one hand and rested her other hand on Xiao Ning's arm. Her head was slightly tilted, facing the words "Huaji Hotel" flashing in the neon lights, reflecting a dazzling brilliance. She couldn't help but curse, "That old lecherous pig (Wei Ju) always comes here to eat, just for the sake of the name 'Huaji'!"
Xiao Qiqi suppressed the urge to collapse. "Xiao Ning, I've already thrown up in the bathroom, I'm fine. Call me a car."
Xiao Ning reached out, and the security guard obediently stopped the car. Xiao Ning helped Xiao Qiqi walk over step by step, put Xiao Qiqi in the back seat, and opened the front door. "Sister Xiao, shall I take you home?"
Xiao Qiqi kept her eyes closed, not seeing the worry and expectation in Xiao Ning's eyes. She only mumbled, "No need, thank you, Xiao Ning. Tomorrow morning, have Chen Ji take the contract to the pig feeder. Oh, you should go too, so he won't make excuses again!"
Disappointed, Xiao Ning closed the car door. Turning back, she saw Xiao Qiqi slump to the side, her legs curling up on the seat. Through the glass, she could only see a slightly pale, oval face reflected in the hotel's various lights, its features appearing strangely hazy. Her long, slender hair fluttered like a night sprite, yet carried a hint of loneliness and desolation. Xiao Ning's hand involuntarily reached for the car door handle again.
"...If I don't go to the company tomorrow, please ask Mr. Wei for leave for me." The weak voice had a slight nasal tone, unlike the concise and capable voice Xiao Ning was used to hearing. Xiao Ning raised her outstretched hand and waved, "Sister Xiao, get some rest, goodbye."
II. Fever
Xiao Qiqi stumbled out of the car and leaned against the security booth of the residential complex. A July night breeze, carrying waves of heat, blew against her back, yet felt strangely cool. A friendly and attentive security guard rushed over and helped her. "Miss Xiao, are you feeling unwell? Shall we take you home?" Xiao Qiqi nodded. The property management of this complex was handled by Huayuan Real Estate Group, the largest and most reputable real estate company in the country—they were known for their attentiveness, safety, and warmth. Therefore, she always felt safe leaving her at the complex gate.
The security guard escorted Xiao Qiqi to the door, only leaving after watching her enter. Once inside, Xiao Qiqi could no longer contain the burning heat coursing through her body. She collapsed onto the floor, pressing her burning face against the cold marble to alleviate the raging flames. Her well-fitting light blue suit was completely soaked, clinging damply to her skin, feeling incredibly sticky. But no discomfort could compare to the heat radiating from her very core. Even then, Xiao Qiqi couldn't resist a self-deprecating remark, "Xiao Qiqi, you pig, just drink yourself to death, burn yourself to death! Let the fever rage on!" After this self-deprecating remark, Xiao Qiqi could no longer control her dazed state and dramatically fell into a deep sleep.
Her whole body ached as if engulfed in flames, and the burning heat made her lick her lips repeatedly, calling out "water." A cup of warm water was placed close to her chapped lips at just the right moment. Someone gently supported her head, feeding her water, and then something slightly bitter was pushed onto her lips and tongue. A familiar perfume scent lingered in Xiao Qiqi's nostrils, and she felt someone repeatedly applying a damp towel to her forehead. A sense of relief filled her heart, and then she drifted into a deep, hazy sleep again.
The sound was both real and unreal. She seemed to hear Chen Yuanxing typing away on the keyboard, the clatter of his slippers, and even the sound of him opening and closing the refrigerator while muttering curses. Xiao Qiqi, with her eyes closed, couldn't help but groan. The clattering of slippers quickly brought a gust of cool air to Xiao Qiqi's bedside. "Qiqi, you're awake?"
"Chen Yuanxing, you should go back!" Xiao Qiqi didn't even open her eyes, licking her still chapped lips.
"Qiqi, are you thirsty? Here, have some water." Warm hands carefully lifted Xiao Qiqi's head. Xiao Qiqi slowly opened her blurry eyes, and sure enough, Chen Yuanxing's anxious dark eyes were right above her. The water was still warm, but Xiao Qiqi turned her lips away in dissatisfaction, "Ice water!"
"No way!" Chen Yuanxing finally exploded. "Look at you, I've told you a hundred times not to drink ice water, but you just won't listen! You're burning up like this, and you still won't change your ways! Ugh, you...you're driving me crazy!"
"Chen Yuanxing, are you my mother?" Xiao Qiqi looked at Chen Yuanxing's furious appearance. His neatly combed hair was now a mess, his suit jacket was casually thrown on the table, and several buttons on his shirt were ripped open, revealing his bronze skin. As he moved, his skin glowed with a hazy honey color, so alluring that Xiao Qiqi couldn't help but turn her head. "What time is it?"
Chen Yuanxing called out for a while, and seeing Xiao Qiqi looking at the balcony with the white gauze curtains drawn, seemingly unrelated to the question, he went over and pulled back the curtains with a whoosh. The hazy night outside the window, with a few lights appearing like blurry human eyes, said, "It's three o'clock. Tell me, why did you drink again?"
"What did you give the security guard so that he would call you again so obediently?" Xiao Qiqi frowned, touched her forehead, which was still a little hot, but it was no longer as turbulent as the waves at the beginning. It had become a gentle stream, still silently winding around the nerves of her whole body.
"Hmph!" Chen Yuanxing leaned lazily against the balcony, gazing at Xiao Qiqi from afar. His dark, fluffy eyes, blending seamlessly with the night, held a certain emotion. "Even in this state, you still won't call me? Tell me, do you have a death wish?"
Without even thinking, Xiao Qiqi said, "Oh no! So you should go back."
Chen Yuanxing's body stiffened, and he scratched his hair in annoyance. "I have a dinner party tonight."
Xiao Qiqi leaned her head back more comfortably into the cushions, somewhat lazily. "Well, we can't be late for three o'clock, can we?"
Chen Yuanxing leaped over in a few steps and sat down on the edge of her bed in a huff. "You're heartless! You just got better and you're kicking me out? Don't you have a heart at all?"
“I have no heart.” Xiao Qiqi glanced at Chen Yuanxing, her eyes, clear and bright after shedding all pretense, made Chen Yuanxing lower his head involuntarily. “Let’s go, otherwise your family will worry.” He finally didn’t say “Auntie,” but instead said “family.” Chen Yuanxing’s mother had resigned a year ago due to a major administrative error, and had even attempted suicide due to depression. Having finally recovered, she was now unusually concerned about her son, and the previously subtle awkwardness had turned into a direct rejection. One night, when Chen Yuanxing refused to leave, Mrs. Chen called Xiao Qiqi directly. All the hidden, unspeakable reasons were suddenly exposed, startling not only Chen Yuanxing but also Xiao Qiqi. Chen Yuanxing was more concerned about his mother’s health; even though he vaguely guessed the reality, he was powerless to escape it.
Chen Yuanxing sighed, all his carefree, childish exaggeration vanishing. His straight back carried a hint of sadness and helplessness, and his deep, dark eyes held a silent melancholy. He stood up and helped Xiao Qiqi lie down properly. "...Then I'm leaving. Remember not to go to work tomorrow, don't drink ice water, and take your medicine on time..."
"Okay!" Xiao Qiqi couldn't help but reach out and grab his hand, which was busy tucking her in, a genuine smile appearing on her face for the first time tonight. "You're as nagging as an old woman. I can't imagine how you manage to scold your subordinates with such a stern face during the day."
Chen Yuanxing's expression shifted, and he grabbed Xiao Qiqi's hand with a pleading look, "Qiqi, can I stay until you fall asleep before I leave?"
Xiao Qiqi was taken aback for a moment, then quickly pulled her hand away and slapped his hand on the back of his hand. "Get lost, I'm fine now. It's just an allergic fever after drinking, it'll be fine overnight. You know that, and it's not the first time."
Chen Yuanxing swept his dark eyes coldly over them, "Since you know so much about it, don't try to be a hero by drinking!"
“That’s just…” Xiao Qiqi suddenly stopped speaking. If she continued to argue with Chen Yuanxing like this, he would definitely stay here all night. “Alright, I’m sleepy, let’s go! Remember to leave my keys.” After saying that, she turned around, closed her eyes, and ignored Chen Yuanxing.
Hearing Chen Yuanxing sigh softly, she got up, the shuffling sound of her slippers disappearing at the door. She abruptly looked up, wanting to remind him to put the keys down, but then thought better of it and collapsed back onto the bed. She figured even if she told him, he would just ignore it. How long has it been?
Two years, hasn't it? They've been broken up for two years, yet they still can't help but be entangled. Not because of love, but simply because of habit and familiarity. She can curl up her world into a ball, not letting the whole world know, but in front of him, she has nowhere to hide. Those most wretched and desperate days were endured step by step amidst his nagging and childish stubbornness. She got used to his care, his nagging, his stubbornness, and unknowingly, they came together. She lets him shatter and disrupt her world, frying it into a colorless fried egg, then wolfing it down, unable to taste anything, yet still insisting on eating it.
Although she had ended those three happy years in such a resolute way, on that feverish midnight, smelling that familiar scent, she couldn't help but rush towards him. Once she broke down, there was no going back. He had always been like that, unreasonable and clingy, forcibly squeezing into her life, hadn't he? So, even after the breakup, she couldn't refuse his warmth, care, and generous embrace! But she also couldn't take another step. She couldn't bear the humiliation she had experienced before, so she could only push him away again and again, turning away to let herself feel lonely and dejected, but refusing to get any closer.
He used to say "I love you" so sincerely and earnestly. He would pull her along and say, "Let's go register our marriage." He wouldn't ask, "Do you love me?" He would just dramatically drag himself in his slippers, spin around in front of her, and exclaim, "Xiao Qiqi, you idiot!"
Xiao Qiqi was like a small flower that had lost its moisture, silently nestled in bed, her mind still hazy, but vague memories kept coming back like waves.
Downstairs, the silver-gray BMW gleamed faintly in the night, its flickering cigarette butt reflecting the dim starlight, its eyes blinking unreadable, half-closed, half-awake. After stubbing out countless cigarette butts and hanging up on countless calls from the same person, Chen Yuanxing finally put the phone to his ear, "Mom, is something wrong?"...
"Okay, I know. I went to karaoke with friends after dinner, so I didn't hear it."
"Really, no! Please don't overthink things, okay?"...
"I'll go straight to the company this morning and have Xiao Li pick up my clothes, that's all!" He impatiently pressed the power button, then slowly pulled out the last cigarette from his pack, lit it, and let the swirling smoke blur his vision, obscuring any sense of refinement. He stared at a dark, screened window upstairs. Only the sweltering night accompanied his tall, imposing figure sitting on the hood of the car, his long legs propped on the concrete ground, the dim lights of the neighborhood reflecting a graceful curve.
Third, best friends
Early in the morning, the annoying phone kept ringing. Xiao Qiqi, still with her eyes closed, groped around on the bedside table for a while before saying impatiently, "Xiao Ning, didn't I tell you I asked President Wei for leave?"
"Wow, Qiqi, you're home!" A woman's suppressed, neurotic scream rang out from the other end. Xiao Qiqi couldn't help but move the phone away a little, her mind still foggy.
"Old Xiao, tell me honestly, do you know where Young Master Chen went last night? Did he contact you?"
"I know, it happened at my house last night," Xiao Qiqi said softly.
"Wow!" The shrill soprano voice sent chills down Xiao Qiqi's spine.
"Jiang Yilan, what's wrong with you so early in the morning? If you're sick, go find your husband, Old Zhao, to complain!"
"Miss, look at this! It's already twelve o'clock, and it's still early!" Jiang Yilan exclaimed dramatically, with the laughter of several women nearby. "Old Xiao, you know what? I'm so excited! This morning I saw Young Master Chen with a scruffy beard, looking dazed, and he came to work without changing into his suit and shirt! Secretary Li said that President Chen told her to go home and get new clothes. We all bet he was out having a good time last night..."
"Wait! Stop!" Xiao Qiqi was completely sober. It turned out that Jiang Yilan, that bastard, was making fun of her again. Drinking really did ruin things, and the fever had damaged her brain again. "What did you say? Lanzi, you're not betting on Chen Yuanxing again, are you?" Xiao Qiqi's voice was coming out through clenched teeth.
"Ah, ah, hehe, Qiqi, where? I was just kidding. By the way, aren't you sleeping? Then get some rest. You were tired last night, so you deserve to rest more. Ahahaha..." Jiang Yilan's strange laughter was followed by the "beep beep" sound of the line being disconnected.
"Damn it!" Xiao Qiqi threw her phone hard onto the wooden floor and cursed. Jiang Yilan's big mouth really deserved to be taught a lesson. She definitely wouldn't be gossiping about anything at Chen Yuanxing's company, which is full of big-mouthed, long-eared women.
Not having to go to work is so pleasant. She got up and got ready, about to open the fridge for a few sips of ice water, when she saw a yellow note stuck to the handle: "I poured out all the ice water. Drink warm water if you have a sensitive stomach. Remember to take your medicine!" Chen Yuanxing's familiar, flamboyant handwriting made Xiao Qiqi smile. She casually tore off the note and stuffed it into the drawer under the bar counter. The drawer was full of notes of various colors. Xiao Qiqi paused for a moment, then quickly closed the drawer.
Back at the Flower Season Hotel, she drove her little yellow QQ car back to work. The big case at the company was settled last night; President Wei would definitely give her a few days off. With half a day left, Xiao Qiqi glanced at her phone, its casing shattered from the fall, and a cold smile crept across her face. Jiang Yilan!
Jiang Yilan, who was drinking water, suddenly spat it out. Before she could react, she heard Secretary Li's exaggeratedly coquettish voice, "Miss Jiang, how can you be so rude?"
"Mr. Chen, are you alright?" Jiang Yilan looked up and saw Chen Yuanxing staring at the water stain on his chest with a dark expression, then watching Secretary Li frantically wiping it with tissues. Her long, slender, fair hands—oh, she even seemed to be giving it a few squeezes—and Chen Yuanxing seemed to be enjoying it. Jiang Yilan's mouth gaped open. "Young Master Chen, you're going too far! You just had a one-night stand with your ex-lover Xiao Qiqi last night, and today you're putting on a public display of your CEO's mistress's tender affection?"
Chen Yuanxing frowned as he looked at Jiang Yilan's wide, terrified eyes. This damned woman, who knows what she'd say to Qi Qi tomorrow? He seemingly casually took a step back, avoiding Li Ping's opportunistic advances. Damn it, another secretary needed. He glanced indifferently at Li Ping, his cold gaze causing her to lower her head. "Let's go!"
He had just taken a step when he saw Jiang Yilan, who was still staring at him with her mouth agape like a dinosaur. He couldn't help but turn around and stand in front of her. "Miss Jiang, aren't you tired of keeping your mouth open like that for so long?" After saying that, he looked Jiang Yilan up and down. "Indeed, it's better for a woman to have a smaller mouth!" After saying that, he turned around and left gracefully, ignoring how wide Jiang Yilan's eyes were.
The room was filled with stares and snickers.
Jiang Yilan shuddered and clenched her lips, clutching her chest, feigning infatuation, "So handsome!" Then, covering her mouth, she rushed into the bathroom to vomit, "Young Master Chen, you're ruthless! Watch out, or I'll expose all your ugly behavior in front of Xiao Qiqi and sell it in gossip magazines!"
"Sister Jiang, what an embarrassing sight! What are you selling it for?" A group of beautiful women suddenly rushed out of the restroom and surrounded Jiang Yilan. Jiang Yilan covered her head and ran away, thinking, "Women really do have smaller mouths!"
"Baby, I miss you, answer the phone!" "Baby, I miss you, answer the phone!"...
The cheesy ringtone assaulted everyone's eardrums repeatedly, sending chills down the spines of everyone in the office. Was the office air conditioning broken, and it was -26 degrees Celsius? Zhang Ming, sitting next to Jiang Yilan, finally couldn't take it anymore and slammed his fist on the table. "Jiang Yilan, if you don't answer the phone, I'll strangle you!"
Jiang Yilan shuddered, as if she could hear a woman's sinister voice on the other end of the phone, "Jiang Yilan, if you don't answer the phone, I'll strangle you!"
A glass of ice water, its icy coolness instantly calmed Xiao Qiqi's heart. It was a rare moment of leisure; how pleasant it was to sit in a comfortably warm coffee shop and drink ice water. Xiao Qiqi glanced at her watch; it was still early, she had plenty of time to wait for Jiang Yilan.
Xiao Qiqi sat by the window, her gaze distant, occasionally pausing on a particular spot before drifting far away. Only a handful of people were there; perhaps on an afternoon like this, few had the leisure to sip a cup of coffee. Time was always a synonym for scarcity in this world. Occasionally, a few men and women in suits or well-fitting business attire would politely step into the café with elegant smiles, then gracefully depart. Across the street, in front of a tall building, a security guard in white gloves gestured to guide cars into the plaza to park properly. On the zebra crossing, an elderly woman held the hand of a little girl with pigtails, waiting for the light to change. Xiao Qiqi's lips curled into her usual smile. "Waiter, a Blue Mountain coffee, oh, no sugar."
A fiery red dress adorned with large floral patterns billowed as the car drove away, and Xiao Qiqi could almost picture Jiang Yilan's furious, gritting expression. Xiao Qiqi watched as Jiang Yilan carefully tugged at her skirt, crossed the street, and slowly walked towards them. She couldn't help but shake her head; stray hairs framing her face caught her eye as they swayed. Xiao Qiqi ran her fingers through them—it probably needed another haircut.