The cremation site was chosen at the edge of the cliff where Sheng Qinzhi's mother had jumped. A pile of firewood, arranged in a crisscross pattern like a well, had already been prepared on the open ground. Some old clothes and a few plastic buckets lay scattered nearby. Yi people traditionally arrange for the firewood pile to be nine layers high for male deceased and seven layers high for females. The body was brought by the mother's family. Everyone hurriedly pushed the mangled body onto the seven-layered pile of firewood, their actions showing no restraint, as if it were not a once-living person, not a neighbor they saw every day, but merely a pile of useless tattered cotton.
Li Hanqiang picked up a severed limb, unidentified as a hand or foot, that had fallen during the collision, and tossed it up along with the deceased's old clothes and belongings. He, along with San San's father and several others, lifted a bucket from the ground, unscrewed the lid, and poured all the oil and wine inside onto the corpse and firewood around the woodpile.
With everything prepared, San Niang, holding her three children close, had to quietly stop their weeping according to custom. Old Suni stepped forward and began reciting the "Summoning the Soul Sutra" to Acuo Qubi and the Hei Yi people from her maternal family, who stood at the head of the group. Only then did the crowd gradually quiet down. Accompanied by the hollow and long chanting, the village chief led the people to light the four corners of the pyre. The flames gradually spread to the center of the pyre, licking at the clothes and corpses, and soon it was blazing.
The billowing black smoke obscured the sky, the temperature plummeted to below zero, and snow continued to fall, but it could not extinguish the grief in Chen Yunqi's heart. He turned to look around, and saw onlookers scattered all over the hillside, each with a blank expression on their face.
The enormous, blazing fire scorched the distant scenery in the cold air, making it appear hazy. At some point, the sound of singing began to fill the air.
The song came from somewhere, low and mournful, like weeping and lamenting, bidding a final farewell to the deceased in the ancient Yi language.
Chen Yunqi was wearing a down jacket under his cotton-padded coat, but after standing for a while, he couldn't stop shivering from the cold. San San secretly squeezed his fingers tucked into his sleeves and whispered, "It's Amu singing."
Chen Yunqi's neck was stiff, and his eyelashes were wet with the falling snow. He couldn't see where Amu was, so he asked in a low voice, "Why are you singing?"
“I don’t know either,” San San replied, leaning closer to him. “He’s the best singer in our village. No matter what happens, he’ll sing a folk song.”
The corpse was being scorched by the flames, emitting dull popping sounds from time to time. Corpse oil dripped continuously down the ends of the limbs, and the exposed feet visibly dried up and curled up, like a pair of hooked eagle claws.
Li Hanqiang tilted his head back and gulped down a mouthful of baijiu. Forced back a few steps by the intense heat in front of him, he turned around and said to the person next to him with a grin, "Was that a belly that was exploding just now? I wonder if it's fat or lean meat that's burning now?"
The funeral lasted for over an hour, a long and agonizing process. Chen Yunqi felt that his toes, wrapped in two pairs of cotton socks, might have frozen off. After the fire raged and reduced everything to ashes, the flames finally began to subside.
Aside from those who stayed behind to finish up, the rest of the bystanders left in small groups and headed back. San San's lips were blue from the cold, and she whispered in a trembling voice to Chen Yunqi, who could barely move, "Brother, it's over, we should go back."
As I turned to leave, I could vaguely hear the conversation between the village chief and Achuqubi behind me.
"Do you want the ashes? If so, I'll help you put them in a bag!" the village chief asked Achuo Qubi, carrying a cloth bag.
"What the hell do you want it for?" Achubi spat on the ground. "What are you going to do with it? You can't use it as plaster, what good is it!"
On the way back, Chen Yunqi remained silent. Seeing that he didn't look up or watch where he was going, San San knew he was in a bad mood, so she didn't bother him. She obediently followed behind him, carefully watching his step.
Upon arriving at Sheng Qinzhi's house, Chen Yunqi stopped in his tracks and turned to ask, "Are there any rules that must be followed from now on? If not, I'd like to go back."
After that, there was nothing else to do but eat and drink. Chen Yunqi didn't want to eat, drink, or play cards. He also didn't want to watch the live bull being beaten, as it was too cruel. San San told him that with so many people here, there was bound to be a commotion all night. Hearing this, he became even more determined to go back first. He didn't want to see another glimpse of this farce.
San San agreed with his idea. Teacher Chen was an outsider, so it didn't matter whether he followed the rules or not. He wouldn't be able to help if he stayed. There were many people and a lot of people. Losing one or two of them shouldn't attract attention.
Just as the two were about to leave, Sheng Qinzhi and his sister suddenly ran out, grabbed Chen Yunqi's legs tightly, and cried out loudly:
"Teacher, don't go... Teacher, please don't go! What will we do without you..."
Chen Yunqi was startled and quickly squatted down to ask what was wrong. The eldest brother, Sheng Qinyong, had to take on the responsibility of taking care of his younger siblings. He tried to remain calm and said to Chen Yunqi, "Teacher Chen, Dad said we should go with Mom's relatives tomorrow morning, but they disagree and they just started arguing again."
Chapter Forty-Four: Faith
"They...they don't want us..."
"Don't be afraid, your teacher is here." Chen Yunqi frowned as he helped Sheng Qinzhi and his sister up, instructing Sheng Qinyong, "Don't go anywhere! Stay home and come to the school to find me immediately if anything happens!"
Having been stifled all day, Sheng Qinyong's words were like a lit fuse, igniting a nameless fire in Chen Yunqi's heart. His light-colored eyes surged with anger. He stood up, slapped away San San's hand that was holding him, and was about to walk into the house. Seeing that he couldn't stop him, San San lowered her voice and shouted in desperation, "Chen Yunqi!"
Chen Yunqi was so angry that he didn't hear San San's shouts at all. He shoved Li Jun, who had been kicked off the table for his bad playing style and was standing in the doorway complaining, and rushed into the inner room.
A group of people were sitting around the fire pit, talking amongst themselves, when he stormed in angrily. The room fell silent instantly, and dozens of eyes turned to look at him.
Chen Yunqi showed no fear and confronted Acuo Qubi, who was squatting on a straw mat, demanding in a stern voice, "What exactly are your plans for the three children?"
Even as he entered, San San's father seemed to have a premonition that the upright Teacher Chen was about to cause trouble, but he was a step too late to stop him. A Cuo Qubi had just argued with his wife's family and was sulking with resentment when he was suddenly confronted in front of everyone by an outsider. He was stunned for a moment, then felt extremely humiliated. He took two deep drags on his cigarette and angrily said, "Sell it, throw it away, kill it! I can do whatever I want, it's none of your business!"
Chen Yunqi's narrow, thin eyes gleamed with a cold light, his face as frosty as the coldest days of winter. He clenched his fists and forced out two words through gritted teeth: "Beast..."
A-Cuo-Qu-Bi was initially a little guilty, but seeing Chen Yun-Qi's initial rudeness, he suddenly felt that even if a fight broke out, he would be in the right. So he stood up abruptly, gritting his teeth and saying, "Who the hell do you think you are! Try cursing me again..."
Before he could even utter the last word, he received a solid punch to the bridge of his nose.
Everyone was stunned. Before they could react, Chen Yunqi strode across the fire pit and threw a punch. Acuo Qubi was no weakling either; he was big and burly, but he couldn't withstand Chen's fierce punches. He was beaten so badly that he was powerless to fight back, falling against the wall and covering his head, without even a chance to retaliate.
San San was also terrified. Chen Yunqi was too fast, and he didn't have time to pull him back. Seeing that A Cuo Qubi's nose was bleeding profusely, he desperately rushed over and hugged the frenzied Chen Yunqi tightly from behind, shouting, "Brother! Stop hitting me, brother!"
Chen Yunqi didn't know what was wrong with him. It was as if he couldn't hear San San's calls at all. His eyes were bloodshot and he had lost all reason. He was as strong as an ox and desperately tried to break free from San San's restraints. He turned sideways and pushed San San down, then turned around and punched the person riding on his back.
San San fell to the side, one hand braced against the fire pit, his palm instantly scalded. Ignoring the pain, he scrambled to his feet and rushed over to hug Chen Yunqi again, burying his face in his back and crying out, "Brother, I know you're hurting, look at me, look at me, please don't hit me..."
The house was in complete chaos. The kettle on the hearth was kicked over and rolled to the side, and the porcelain cups filled with wine were shattered on the floor. People sitting on straw mats hurriedly got up and moved to the wall, afraid of being caught in the crossfire. People outside rushed in and crowded around the doorway to watch, and some even clapped and cheered, as if they wanted to stir up trouble.
San San's father and Li Laoqi tried their best to separate the two entangled individuals, but to no avail. It wasn't until the mute joined in that they managed to drag the enraged Chen Yunqi to a straw mat and pin him down. Chen Yunqi was face down with the mute straddling his waist, and he struggled to get up. The mute anxiously made "uh-huh" sounds at him, pointing to San San, who was sitting to the side, to signal him to look up.
Chen Yunqi was pinned down by the mute man, who weighed over a hundred pounds, unable to move. Like a tamed lion still struggling in a cage, his bristling fur gradually subsided, and his rationality returned somewhat. He raised his neck and looked to the side. San San was holding his left hand, looking at him with teary eyes. His palm was covered in ash and red marks.
The glaring wounds stung Chen Yunqi's eyes. His mind went blank as he finally recalled his earlier state of being completely ruthless, the faint cries behind him, and the moment he pushed San San down.
Chen Yunqi, panting, said to the mute man, "Let me up. I'm not going to fight anymore. I want to see San San."
On the other side, Achuo Qubi had been helped to sit up and was leaning against the corner of the wall, wiping the blood from his face with a cloth. Each wipe caused him to wince in pain. The village chief, while cleaning up the mess on the ground, sighed repeatedly, "Oh my! What's going on here! Let's talk this out!"
A-Cuo-Qu-Bi was terrified and didn't think of adding fuel to the fire for revenge. Chen Yun-Qi also didn't have time to pay attention to him. As soon as the mute got off him, he rolled over and squatted down in front of San-San. Ignoring the stares of others, he carefully took San-San's injured hand, feeling overwhelmed with heartache and self-reproach. He didn't dare to look into San-San's eyes, and kept murmuring, "San-San... I'm sorry... It must hurt terribly... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
San San's father was so disoriented by the chaos that he didn't realize anything was wrong. He was also worried about his son and asked San San in a harsh tone, "How are you? Are you alright?"
San San shook her head repeatedly, comforting Chen Yunqi and her father, "It's nothing, it's nothing, it was just a little bump, it's alright, just put some toothpaste on it."
He squeezed Chen Yunqi's wrist again and whispered to him, "Brother, it's really okay, don't worry. Just don't be angry anymore."
Hearing him say that, Chen Yunqi felt an urge to slap himself hard across the face.
He didn't want to stay there any longer. He took San San's hand and stood up, saying to everyone, "I was wrong today. I acted impulsively and hit someone first, and I apologize. But the matter of the Sheng Qinzhi siblings can't be left like this. Their mother just passed away, and they're already in a hurry to get rid of this burden. That's not something a human being would do!"
He then looked at the village chief and said, "I've already spoken to Teacher Tang about this. We'll contact Director Zhang to help us think of a solution. The child can't be passed around like a football. You have to solve this problem no matter what. Sheng Qinyong has some reputation, so you should weigh the seriousness of this matter yourself. They're staying here for now. If anyone tries to kick them out, I'll be the first to object. I'm ready to fight anytime!"
His tone left no room for argument, and after speaking, he gave Achuo Qubi a meaningful look.
Teacher Chen spoke righteously and logically. The bruised and swollen A-Cuo-Qu-Bi was unconvinced, but he didn't dare to show it on his face. He just grunted through his nose and turned his head away without responding.
The village chief was also intimidated by Chen Yunqi's imposing presence, nodding repeatedly in agreement: "Yes, yes, absolutely! We were just trying to mediate this issue, Teacher Chen, don't panic, don't panic... there's a way..."
Chen Yunqi couldn't stand his peacemaker act, so he didn't say anything more. He turned around, lowered his head, and said to San San's father, "Uncle, I'm sorry. It's all my fault for being impulsive and hurting San San. I'll take him back to school to get him treated first, and I'll apologize to you later."
Seeing his composed demeanor, San San's father didn't know how to respond, so he could only sigh and say, "Alright, alright, it's nothing, go on."
Chen Yunqi led San San out the door under everyone's watchful eyes. Amu, leaning against the doorway, stopped them as they passed, saying, "I have medicine at home, I'll take San San to get some..."
"Thank you, but no need."
Chen Yunqi interrupted him with a cold face, and left in a hurry without even glancing at him.
"Wipe it off..." Amu watched their departing figures, uttering the unfinished sentence before sighing and turning to go inside.
The remaining people in the room looked at each other blankly. After A-Cuo-Qu-Bi and the others left, he cursed and muttered, "Damn it," he turned to Village Chief Sheng and complained, "Village Chief! You have to do something about this! When did it become the business of outsiders to meddle in our village's affairs! They're meddling in everything, even my shitting and farting! You haven't said anything! Who the hell does he think he is!"
Village Chief Sheng scratched his head in disarray. He glared at Achuqubi and interrupted him sharply, "Alright! Just shut up! Hurry up and think about what to do about the child!"
Achub looked aggrieved. "What can I do? She's not my biological daughter. I have an elderly mother to support, and she has relatives! Either take her away, or you can decide what to do! I can't afford to raise her!"
Hearing this, the group of Black Yi people became unhappy, and the two sides started arguing again. Village Chief Sheng looked at the mess in front of him and recalled Chen Yunqi's attitude towards him earlier. He shook his head and sighed, a hint of disdain flashing in his eyes. He snorted almost inaudibly from his nose.
It was already dark, but fortunately, Sheng Qinzhi's home wasn't too far from the school. Chen Yunqi walked very fast, and San San couldn't catch up. Just as San San was about to tell Chen Yunqi to slow down, Chen Yunqi suddenly turned around, picked her up, and ran straight back to the school.
In his haste to leave that morning, Chen Yunqi hadn't locked the door, and kicked it open while carrying San San in his arms. The bedding was still a mess, just as it had been when he left, and the lingering sweetness of last night's intimacy still hung in the air. Chen Yunqi gently placed San San on the bed, lit a dim oil lamp, then, using a flashlight, bent down to rummage through his backpack for disinfectant wipes. He then ran to Tang Yutao's room to get Yunnan Baiyao (a traditional Chinese medicine), and sat down by the bed to carefully clean the burns on San San's palms.
Wiping away the charcoal ash, it became clear that the injury wasn't serious. His palm was red, and even with the slightest movement, Chen Yunqi could feel San San trembling slightly.
San San's palms burned with pain, but it couldn't compare to the pain in her heart. She couldn't explain the feeling; she only felt that Chen Yunqi's earlier outburst was truly heartbreaking. He had a stern face the whole way back. San San finally got a chance to ask him, "Are you alright?", but suddenly felt something warm drip onto her palm, stinging her wound.
He looked up in surprise and met Chen Yunqi's reddened eyes.
“Baby, I’m sorry…” Chen Yunqi felt that nothing he said could erase the guilt and self-blame in his heart. He applied the ointment to San San, cupped his face, and kissed him carefully again and again.
The cries of the three children pleading for help, the lives that vanished like blades of grass, the raging fire that devoured everything—everything that happened that day was striking a chord deep within his heart.
This was the first time he had faced life and death in several years since his grandfather's passing. This seemingly inclusive and expansive mountain, and the simple and kind people living within it, had finally and mercilessly torn away its veneer of kindness, revealing their vicious nature, the darkness of human hearts, and the ugliness of human nature—all laid bare and bloody before him, delivering a brutally realistic slap in the face.
What's terrifying is that he can't do anything about it; the feeling of powerlessness leaves him exhausted and terrified.
"I often feel useless, that I can't keep anything, and that I don't want to try to fight for anything."
Chen Yunqi cupped San San's face in his hands and looked at him again and again, as if trying to see into the depths of his eyes. He gently stroked San San's cheeks and the corners of his mouth with his thumb, his voice as calm as a still lake.
“I always thought I was someone who was incapable of love. Before coming here, I couldn’t handle my relationships with my family or my best friends. I never thought I could fall for anyone, until I met you.”
San San's eyes gradually reddened.
Chen Yunqi's voice was also a little choked up. It was as if something had stimulated a nerve, and he wanted to tell San San everything in his heart without caring about anything else.
"...San San, our love came too suddenly, so suddenly that I don't even know how to love you yet, but I'm 100% sure of my feelings. I want to be with you, no matter how many difficulties and obstacles there may be in the future, as long as you're still willing, I won't let go."
"I want to take you away from here."
San San couldn't listen anymore, and hot tears welled up in his eyes. He reached out and gently covered Chen Yunqi's lips, looking at him affectionately, and said, word by word, "Brother, I know."
“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You are the best person in my heart.” Tears kept sliding down San San’s face. “I’m the one who’s really useless. From childhood to adulthood, I’ve never tried to fight for myself. I’m both insecure and cowardly. I don’t dare to disobey my parents, and I don’t have the courage to change. You don’t know, since I was a child, many people have said that I’m not like a man, that I was born into the wrong family, and that I’m unlucky and will bring misfortune to my parents, so I don’t even deserve to have the family name.”
“I don’t want to be a rough farmer, and I don’t want to be looked down upon for refusing to get married and have children. I want to study, I want to leave, and I often resent the mountain god for not hearing my pleas and for keeping me trapped here.”
“But I will never hate again,” San San paused, her gaze towards Chen Yunqi shifting from affection to unwavering resolve.
"I'm trapped here, probably waiting for you. Waiting for you to come and rescue me, and take me away."
You are my faith.
Chapter Forty-Five Heroes
"Don't cry, my silly San San."
Chen Yunqi embraced San San, kissing away the tears from the corners of his eyes and cheeks, and gently rubbing his earlobe with tenderness, as if comforting a young animal abandoned by its mother.
If it weren't for Chen Yunqi's sudden confession, given San San's personality, she might never have had the chance to hear these heartfelt words in her lifetime.
Only then did he realize that San San was far braver than he was.
San San's life up to this point has been nothing but passive acceptance. He had once given up resisting and struggling, enduring and compromising with fate. But after meeting Chen Yunqi, he fell head over heels in love. Even though he was so cautious in his love at the beginning, even though the hope for their love was so humble and insignificant, he never backed down. Even when Chen Yunqi chose to run away, he still waited patiently and watched over him silently. After they got together, he gave his heart without reservation, unafraid of the future and unconcerned about the outcome.
What merit did Chen Yunqi possess to deserve such simple and sincere affection, to be treated with such genuine kindness? He knew that from now on he could never let go of San San; he was reluctant and could not betray San San's feelings. He had to withstand all the pressure and bravely bear all the good and bad.
My San San, I want you to be free, I want to give you happiness, I want you to never have to bow your head and compromise again, I want to keep you safe and protect you carefully, so that you will never suffer any more grievances.
“San San, listen to me, I’ll stay here with you until the start of the new semester, and then I have to go back.” Chen Yunqi held the soft girl in his arms with the tenderness of someone he had searched the world for. “After you finish your senior year of high school, no matter which school you get into, I will find a way to be with you. After you graduate, we can work and live in S City, or go wherever you want. You just do what you like, and I’ll earn money to support the family. We’ll start over together.”
There's nothing unrealistic about it; those are just excuses people use to cover up their cowardice. As Song Feifei said, as long as there's enough love, anything is possible.