But when her mother-in-law slammed the door shut, Lijuan felt a pang of sadness. Just the other day, her tea had always been lukewarm, and her mother-in-law had been helping her up and down the stairs. It's true what they say, once the baby is lost, the tea goes cold!
What truly hurt Lijuan wasn't her in-laws, but Yaping. Yaping's behavior since the accident has been utterly disappointing; he's like a wilted eggplant, suddenly losing all his vitality. The once tall and handsome man has inexplicably shrunk considerably, always silent and with his head down. Even after his mother left, he remained listless, completely disregarding Lijuan's feelings. Lijuan had originally hoped to find a tall, strong man to rely on, but now it seems height doesn't equate to a strong character. In the face of crisis, Yaping's performance was too weak; even a small setback couldn't make him recover. "It's just the loss of a child, not the end of the world. How can I rely on a man like that in the future?"
Looking at her mother washing, cleaning, and drying clothes at home, Lijuan couldn't help but agree with her mother's words: "Mom, although what you say may be vulgar and unpleasant to hear, every word you say is the truth. People may dislike vulgarity because they dislike the bloodshed that comes after tearing open the skin. The truth always sounds harsh. Not everyone has the courage to express their true thoughts nakedly."
Yaping's mother left, and Yaping's life returned to its previous routine. He slept until the last minute before being late for work, only to find the toothpaste already squeezed out of the bathroom and his work clothes gone. He hastily grabbed a wrinkled shirt from the hanger and put it on, then looked in the mirror—his confident demeanor from two days ago was now a mess. He went into the kitchen, but there was no delicious breakfast. His leather shoes, next to the shoe rack, were covered in a fine layer of dust. He tried to find a cloth to wipe them, as usual, but couldn't find it anywhere; he had no idea where his mother had put them. "A wife is someone you cherish; a mother is someone you care for." He thought of his wife ordering him around to get water, while his mother always waited until the water was lukewarm before bringing it to him—what a stark contrast!
"Lijuan! Where's the shoe brush?" "I don't know, your mom took it."
"Lijuan! Where are the napkins?" "I don't know, where did your mom put them?"
"Lijuan! Where are my gray trousers?" "I don't know! They used to hang in the closet, but your mom tidied them up and they've been gone ever since!"
"Lijuan, who is the lady of this house? Everything is about my mother, my mother. If my mother isn't here, are we supposed to live like this?"
Lijuan replied coldly, “I’ve been thinking about this too. Who’s in charge of this house? What right does your mother have to rearrange the house according to her own ideas without my consent? She only does what’s convenient for her. She’s only been here for two months, and we haven’t been able to find her things for two years. The other day I asked her where the Band-Aid was, and she said it was in the cabinet next to me, and I could see it as soon as I opened it. I opened it and couldn’t find it, so she ran over and pointed it out to me. How could I see it as soon as I opened it? I had to squat down to see it. Do you know what your mother keeps complaining about to me? The kitchen cabinets are hung too high, and she can’t reach them. If she had lived here for six months, the cabinets would definitely have been rearranged according to her own ideas. If she could reach them, we would bump into each other every time we went to the kitchen!”
"Sigh! Lijuan, can't you be a little more diligent? When you have free time, stay home and tidy up the house. If you find it inconvenient, you can reorganize everything. Otherwise, life is so inconvenient. Also, could you be like my mother and get up half an hour earlier every day to make me breakfast or something?"
“Li Yaping! Don’t go too far! I’m not just staying home because I have free time; I’m on maternity leave! The government even gave me half a month off out of pity, and you come back but don’t even visit me, not even think to cook me dinner. If my mom doesn’t come over to cook for me during the day, I’ll starve to death! I’m not a housewife, why should I sacrifice my sleep to get up early and make you breakfast? I also have to go to work, I also get paid, why don’t you go out every morning to buy me breakfast like my dad does? I haven’t asked you to do this or that for me, and you still have the nerve to ask me for things? Don’t bring your northern ways of thinking to my home and try to impose them on me. This is Shanghai! This is the new society! We are equals, neither of us owes the other anything!”
"What's wrong with the North? What's wrong with the South? Shouldn't we never abandon the traditional virtues of women? Things like cleaning the house, cooking, and washing clothes are all women's responsibilities, aren't they? My mother used to work, earn a salary, and support the family, and I never saw her act so arrogantly!"
“Li Yaping! Your mother is your mother, and I am me! Your mother was born a slave, finding pleasure in working, but please don’t impose that standard on me. I can live however I want. Who says cooking and washing clothes are women’s responsibilities? Which law says that? There’s only so much housework, and I do it all. What are you going to do? Are you just sitting there waiting to be fed? You want to use the same spoiling tactics your mother used on you on me? No way! If you think your mother is so great, then go live with her! Sleep with her! Nobody’s stopping you! You can get out right now, and I’ll open the door for you!” “Hu Lijuan! You’re so vulgar! You’re just as vulgar as your mother! You can spew out such disgusting and obscene words like they’re singing, without any sense of shame! I can understand your mother’s situation; she’s just a commoner. But you! You! You’ve received higher education! I never imagined you could say such disgusting things!”
"I feel disgusted more often than I do! I didn't even realize I was this disgusting! I've become so disgusting all thanks to you. I don't know what kind of man a poetic and artistic woman like me would be with to turn into such a vulgar and cynical person! Before I met you, before I met your mother, I never uttered a single swear word. I don't even dare to look in the mirror now. When I see that woman in the mirror, who looks like a fighting rooster, when I see my face full of anger all day long, I feel so sorry for myself! Just for you? Just for your mother? I'm ruining myself like this? Wasting my youth? You only know how to demand things of others, not yourself. Don't you think about what you've done for me since my miscarriage? Li Yaping, the elegance you crave, I have plenty of here. 'A virtuous husband makes a virtuous wife,' 'One who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near evil gets stained black,' 'Those who act with kindness and nobility will surely be able to endure hardship.' With your intelligence, do you understand these elegant things I'm talking about? Do you even comprehend them? Think about it carefully!"
Two weeks later, Lijuan went back to work. The constant resentment and anger had left her looking pale and listless. "Lijuan! You didn't take good care of yourself during your postpartum period! You look like you're deficient in both qi and blood. You have to treat a short postpartum period like a long one! A short postpartum period is more damaging than a long one. A long postpartum period is like a ripe fruit falling from the tree, recovery is quick, but a short postpartum period is much more taxing! If you don't take good care of yourself, your health will suffer greatly in the future," said Sister Cai across from her, with great concern. Lijuan gave a bitter smile, her eyes immediately reddening.
"Unexpected events are inevitable. How can everything be perfect? It's not a big problem. You're both so young, you have plenty of opportunities. Right now, they don't allow you to have children. If they did, you could have as many as you want. You're pregnant, which proves that both of you are healthy. That's much better than those who have never been pregnant. You need to be determined, persevere through setbacks, and never give up. Oh, that word doesn't seem quite right! One setback is enough."
“Sister Cai, that’s not the problem. There will be plenty of opportunities to have a child in the future. I wasn’t prepared this time anyway. It’s okay if I lost the baby, otherwise I would have been worried for ten months. I think what you said makes a lot of sense. People should only have children when they are fully prepared. There can’t be even the slightest hesitation. During the days I was pregnant, I kept having nightmares, afraid that the baby would have a cleft lip or six fingers. I think this is because I’m not psychologically mature.”
"If that's not the problem, then what is it?"
"I think that differences in family environment can cause separation between couples."
"Nonsense. You and Yaping are a perfect match. To be honest, your family is just a modest one, and his family isn't from an official family. From the perspective of matching social status, you two are a good match."
"Okay, let me describe it more precisely: differences in region can cause separation between husband and wife. His family is from the north, and they have a very strong preference for sons over daughters. He always wants to be above me and be stronger than me."
"Yaping doesn't seem like that kind of person! I see him often calling to ask how I am doing, and he even calls to let me know he's having beef noodles for lunch!"
"That was before. He was really good to me before, never criticizing me or thinking I was lazy. We're both working-class, everyone's busy, and he never complained when I cleaned once a week. He never complained about ironing clothes or making breakfast. Ever since his mother came, the whole house has completely changed. You haven't seen how his mother treats him! He's such a grown man, and his mother still puts food on his plate at the dinner table. She beams when she sees him eating, it's so nauseating, it makes my hair stand on end!" "Your mother doesn't treat you like that?"
“I’m a woman! He’s a grown man! He’s supposed to be the pillar of the family!”
"He's your man. In his mother's eyes, no matter how old he is, he's still her son."
"That's the problem! No matter how good I am to him, it's not as good as his mother's single finger. His mother can choke on her own food and refuse to even look at it if her son wants it. How could I do that? His mother can stay up all night making steamed buns just for her son if he says he wants some. How could I do that? His mother brings his clothes and socks to his bedside, she practically dresses him for him. How could I do that? The moment his mother leaves, she takes his soul with her. Now, he makes all sorts of outrageous demands of me, like wanting me to polish his shoes every day, make him breakfast, and clean the house every day. Before, he would sometimes bring me tea and water, but now he expects me to kneel at his feet and serve him!"
As Lijuan recounted these mundane family matters, she tried to keep her voice down so no one else could hear. Unexpectedly, Liu Bian, the old scholar behind the partition, stood up, took a sip of his tea, and seemingly casually but actually deliberately said, "Your words remind me of a story: In Han Fei's *Shuo Nan Pian*, there's a tale about Duke Ling of Wei who had a male favorite, the man we're talking about today, named Mi Zixia. This man was handsome and charming in his youth, and Duke Ling loved him dearly. Once, when Mi Zixia's mother fell ill, he used a false imperial edict to steal Duke Ling's carriage and secretly return home to visit her. This was a serious crime at the time—punishable by having one's feet cut off. Later, when someone told Duke Ling, he laughed and said, 'What a conscientious man Mi Zixia is! He was willing to risk having his feet cut off to visit his mother!'" "On another occasion, Mi Zixia picked a peach in the garden, took a bite, and found it delicious! He then offered this half-eaten peach to Duke Ling of Wei. Duke Ling exclaimed, 'How much Mi Zixia loves me! He saves the best food for me, even though he doesn't eat it himself!' Later, when Mi Zixia grew old and lost his beauty, Duke Ling found a new favorite. Remembering the past, he became very angry and said, 'When Mi Zixia was young, he deceived the ruler, and he even threw me his half-eaten peach!' Liu Bian took a loud sip of tea and left."
Lijuan was stunned and asked Sister Cai, "What does Old Liu mean? Is he saying I'm old and unattractive now? So Yaping doesn't like me anymore? I never understand what he's saying." Sister Cai thought for a moment and said, "I think he means that past beauty doesn't guarantee eternal beauty. Life fades with time. Not all art is eternally beautiful like the Venus de Milo. Don't always compare yourself to Yaping's mother. Think about it, there are plenty of men who have multiple wives and concubines, replacing old clothes with new ones, but how many have you seen who change their mothers?"
"Oh! I finally understand what you mean. A wife has to be a subservient ox, only able to pull the cart with her head down, and never able to look up and see the road ahead?"
"No. He can make his demands, you can do yours. Use your strengths to attack his mother's weaknesses. His mother can't exactly whine to him, can she? Try to coax him more; men need to be coaxed. If you just yell and glare at him like he does, won't things just get worse?"
"Why should I always have to beg him? Am I always in the wrong? Why should I have to please him? Doesn't he ever try to coax me?"
"The first strategy in marriage is to retreat in order to advance. Between husband and wife, what is there to say about right and wrong? We must grasp the main contradiction. Have you read Mao Zedong's Selected Works? The first chapter of Mao Zedong's Selected Works is the magic weapon for defeating the enemy: Who are our enemies, and who are our friends? This is the primary question of the revolution. Don't escalate the conflict with Yaping's mother into a conflict with Yaping. One is a contradiction between ourselves and the enemy, and the other is a contradiction among the people. You must see this situation clearly. One must be severely punished, and the other must be lenient."
Lijuan fell into deep thought again.
On a side note: This editor Liu is quite a character. A veteran of three administrations, yet he's never been given a significant role. He's almost retired and still only a managing editor. His downfall lies in his talent; he's arrogant, always using historical allusions to satirize the present, and constantly complaining and making sarcastic remarks. No leader likes him. If it weren't for his impending retirement, they would have already laid him off. Last week, there was a meeting to discuss the redesign. The leader first outlined the general direction: lower royalties, higher quality articles, and more advertising revenue. Then, everyone was asked to speak. Newspapers are already completely commercialized; they basically cater to two ends: the government and money. Readers without purchasing power are simply not considered. First, some columns discussing ideas and debates were cut—because most thinkers don't act much, and excessive thinking can easily lead to political inconsistencies. Too much esoteric thinking is also a waste of space and doesn't attract readers. The space was freed up for the advertising department. Later, they cut the senior citizen section. The elderly are all frugal; creating a special section for them wouldn't be profitable, and the quality would be compromised. The price-performance ratio wasn't right, so they allocated that space to the advertising department. Now they're discussing what to cut and allocate to advertising, but everyone's silent. Nobody dares to suggest, "Let's just keep the frontheadlines and Xinhua/People's Daily news, and put everything else in advertising." So no one speaks up.
After a while, Old Liu picked up his cup and began telling his story again: "The landlord said to his farmhand, 'Go get me a bottle of wine.' The farmhand asked, 'Where's the money?' The landlord said, 'Anyone can get wine if they have money! But to get wine without money, that's real skill.' A while later, the farmhand returned empty-handed. The landlord asked, 'Where's the wine?' The farmhand said, 'Anyone can drink wine if they have it! But to be able to drink even without wine, that's real skill!' That concludes my story." Then he picked up his teacup and left.
Everyone was trying to suppress their laughter and maintain a serious demeanor, but they couldn't hold it in any longer. Someone started it, and the meeting room erupted in laughter. The director adjourned the meeting with a livid face, and the meeting ended inconclusively.
Lijuan had been pondering Sister Cai's words, wondering if she should maintain a high-handed attitude in their marital relationship, waiting for Li Yaping to soften his stance slightly before backing down. Lijuan was waiting for that opportunity. For example, one day when Yaping came home, he would ask Lijuan, "How was your day?" Lijuan had already planned out the scene. Even if Yaping's greeting was unintentional, Lijuan would pretend to wipe away tears, her voice trembling with sobs, and run into Yaping's arms, nuzzling him and saying, "No, I missed you so much I almost forgot everything, darling." Then she would shower Yaping with kisses, and everything would vanish like smoke.
The problem is, Yaping didn't give Lijuan a chance at all. Yaping had been working overtime like crazy, to the point that Lijuan privately suspected that Yaping was deliberately avoiding her. Every evening, Yaping would call and say that he was extremely busy at work and wouldn't be home for dinner, telling her to find something to eat by herself, and then hang up.
When Yaping got home, it was either midnight or one or two in the morning. He would take off his coat and fall asleep immediately, without even washing his face, brushing his teeth, or washing his feet. The next morning, when I saw him, he always had a stubble beard, messy hair, and looked very tired.
That night, Yaping returned early, a little after 11 p.m. As soon as Lijuan heard the door open, she quickly got up, picked up the almost tasteless tea she was drinking, and brought it to Yaping.
Yaping lay on the sofa, pretending to sleep with his eyes closed.
"Why are you so busy lately? Always working overtime? You weren't like this before?" Lijuan finally couldn't help but lean in and approach Yaping before Yaping could offer her a way out.
"Don't even mention it. The game had a bug, and players discovered a huge one. Several servers started having players farming money and equipment like crazy, and the game's order was in chaos. We're working overtime to fix it. If it weren't for the fact that you were home alone and I was worried you'd be scared, I wouldn't have come back. I would have just stayed at the company, which would have been more convenient. Otherwise, I'd only get four hours of sleep and then have to travel, wasting all my time on the road."
"How could this happen? How did the players discover the game's bug?"
"There are only a few people who design games, but tens or hundreds of thousands of people play them. So many eyes are watching, and any oversight of any detail can lead to a mistake. It's impossible to guard against."
"When will this be resolved?"
"It'll be done soon. I'm only in charge of the technical part; the rest is handled by the service department. People are really crazy. They'll fight each other and kill each other over virtual gold bars and valuables in a game. Did you know? There was a recent news report that a gangster got into a fight with a group of kids in a game and actually hired a hitman to cut off their arm! This has a very negative impact on our company."
"Surely it's not that serious? It's just playing games for fun, right?"