"Why did you come back?" Rong Yue regained his usual coldness.
Shen Mo bowed her head deeply in response to him, "This servant knows her mistake."
"Where did we go wrong?"
"He was distracted and lost the young master's purse."
"Anything else?"
"You have disgraced the young master."
"Shen Mo, you should know that losing face for me means losing face for the entire Rong family!"
Shen Mo stared silently at his shoes, biting her lower lip. After a long while, she finally looked up to meet his sharp gaze. "But young master, he is innocent."
Shen Mo was still naively believing that he could see the innocence and persistence in the boy's eyes on the street corner; she was still childishly waiting for his nod of agreement, but...
"You're still being stubborn!" Rong Yue seemed furious, and with a flick of his sleeve, he stormed off. "Without my permission, you'll be kneeling before me for the rest of your life."
Where exactly did he go wrong? Shen Mo didn't understand. He had admitted his mistake, and Rong Yue had backed down, so why wouldn't he admit a simple fact?
The moment Rong Yue's figure disappeared, Shen Mo's vision blurred, but she was certain it wasn't tears. What was it then? Looking up, a cold tear fell into her eye, stinging and painful. Then she saw her hair, her clothes. She suddenly realized that Heaven had taken away her tears so that it could erase a piece of her memory at a moment like this.
Rain began to soak her inner garments, seeping into her eardrums and washing away all her thoughts. Actually, she wasn't tired of living; with the same face, she could stay in the Rong family mansion for a hundred years. But she lived in a daze, not knowing who she was, what she should be, without direction, and therefore without strength. She closed her eyes, willingly embracing the peaceful earth before her.
Shen Mo was awakened by Mo An's sobs. Looking at the woman in front of him, who was exhausted from her heavy body but still had to spare the time to look after him with tears streaming down her face, Shen Mo opened his mouth.
"Aunt An." But it turned out to be unusually hoarse and unpleasant.
Mo An, however, was overjoyed and took it as heavenly music, "Amo, you're finally awake, Amo."
"sorry."
“Silly child, what is there to apologize for? I heard about what happened yesterday. Although your actions were a bit extreme, your judgment was correct. Did you know that someone brought the young master’s money bag and the thief over this morning? It’s true that the child is innocent.” Mo An spoke very casually, but he didn’t notice that Shen Mo’s expression was getting more and more strange.
"Aunt An, what is the young master's reaction?"
Mo An seemed to think hard for a moment, then shook his head and said, "I didn't pay attention to the young master. I was just grateful that he sent someone to bring you back."
Shen Mo leaned weakly against the coffin. The fact that she refused to admit yesterday was now being forced to admit today. No one knew better than Shen Mo what this meant to Rong Yue, who would not tolerate the slightest transgression.
"Aunt An, I'm going back to the kitchen." She said it casually, as if she were absolutely certain.
"Don't talk nonsense. I will never let you go back to the kitchen to suffer."
"But I really do need to go back to the kitchen."
The next day, Rong Yue's order amazed Mo An with Shen Mo's predictive ability, but it also made her "I won't" sound weak and powerless.
She felt like a concubine who had been favored by the emperor for a while and then banished to the cold palace. Whenever she thought of this metaphor while chopping wood, Shen Mo couldn't help but squint her eyes and think about Rong Yue's appearance and significance over and over again.
In Shen Mo's view, after more than half a year of helping her with her writing and indulging her, Rong Yue would find her again in three days and make her write until she was exhausted. However, she still underestimated Rong Yue's anger and patience. Finally, on the fifth day, someone came, but it was not Rong Yue, but Jiang Suying.
Amidst Jiang Suying's slightly coquettish scolding of Rong Yue and her nagging promise to Chen Mo that she wouldn't be allowed to return to the kitchen, she gradually dragged her towards Rong Yue's study. She said, "Amo, don't worry, Brother Yue isn't such a heartless person."
Shen Mo had forgotten when she started calling herself "A Mo," but she seemed to genuinely consider him a friend, something that Rong Yue could never hope to achieve.
“Brother Yue, I’ve brought A-Mo back. Please don’t send her back to the kitchen.”
"Suyi, if you want to cause trouble, go back to your prefectural residence. I don't have time right now." Rong Yue always seemed to be like this, making no attempt to hide his casualness about things he thought he was confident about. Just like now, he wouldn't even look up.
“Since Brother Yue says so, then I will take Amo back to the Prefect’s Mansion.”
"Young Master..." Shen Mo wanted to say something, but Jiang Suyi tilted her head and looked at her slyly, signaling her not to speak. She was just waiting for Rong Yue to say "Whatever you want" and then pull Shen Mo towards his mansion.
But Rong Yue paused, then unexpectedly looked up and said firmly, "No."
Unbeknownst to them, Shen Mo breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing those two words. She was truly unsure what outrageous things she would do if Rong Yue simply nodded in agreement.
"Why! Amo knows calligraphy, martial arts, and the flute. She can even teach me to style my hair in all sorts of ways. If she weren't from a humble background, she would definitely be a rare lady from a prominent family. Yet you made her chop wood. You...you are being unreasonable."
Shen Mo stared blankly as Jiang Suyi yelled at Rong Yue, and suddenly had only one feeling: all the young masters and young ladies are the same, none of them are easy to deal with.
Rong Yue seemed to suddenly realize that the little Shen Mo had so many abilities, and couldn't help but look him up and down. In fact, Shen Mo was curious about the outcome of his handling of the matter, but Rong Yue casually buried his head back on the desk and said casually, "How many days did you stay in the kitchen?"
"Five days."
"Brother Yue, do you still want A-Mo's hands to write for you? Look, they've been worn down like this in just five days!" Jiang Suyi suddenly spoke up, insisting on showing her Shen Mo's hands, but Rong Yue never looked up again.
"Then we'll wait another five days, and return to the study after that."
"cross……"
"This servant thanks Young Master for his mercy." Shen Mo spoke calmly, interrupting Jiang Suying's further persuasion.
"Miss, thank you." Later, Shen Mo searched through her memories and realized that the only person she had ever truly addressed as "Miss" without any formality was Jiang Suyi.
And so, because of Jiang Suying's words, Shen Mo was spared physical torment. However, no one could have imagined that six years later, because of Shen Mo's words, Jiang Suying would encounter the most painful ordeal of her life. At this time, they were still at the most beautiful age, at an age when they believed that the future was a blank slate.
Five days later, Shen Mo returned to the study, not to write ink for him, but to ask for leave. Mo An's due date was approaching, and Shen Mo couldn't bear to see her busy with her large pregnant belly.
"Granted." Rong Yue looked at Shen Mo and pondered for a long time before uttering these two words.
In truth, Shen Mo had already anticipated Rong Yue's agreement. Could Young Master Rong refuse a request for leave simply because he needed a servant? The answer, of course, was no. He claimed to be omnipotent; he wouldn't cease his arrogance because of the absence of anyone, let alone a servant. Shen Mo walked out with a smile on his face, simply pleased that he had understood Rong Yue. Perhaps a hint of sadness lingered within it, but who could possibly see it?
Mo An moved into Rong Si's residence, which had its own small courtyard. Since becoming pregnant, she no longer needed to do any work. However, even so, entering this housekeeper's courtyard—which she had only visited once before—and seeing Rong Si, still arrogant but seemingly kind to Mo An, she felt inexplicably uncomfortable. However, she didn't want Mo An, still immersed in the joy of motherhood, to notice any of this discomfort. So when Mo An suggested she move in for a while, she smiled and agreed without hesitation.
Later, Shen Mo realized how heavy this "unhesitating" feeling was, yet it protected Mo An in happiness and delayed the "not knowing" indefinitely.
It was a snowy night. Perhaps every time I tell Rongyan her birth story, I can start with this. Who is Rongyan? She is Mo An's daughter, Shen Mo's younger sister. Mo An named her, saying that a good surname shouldn't be wasted. Shen Mo smiled and said, "Aunt An, my sister will be as beautiful as her name." That year, Shen Mo was nine years old, nine years older than Rongyan, another nine years.
If it weren't for what happened later, Shen Mo wouldn't even have thought about Rong Yue. She even wanted to stay by Mo An's side, watch over her during her postpartum period, and then watch Rong Yan grow up. However, fate always urged her to choose to leave, and if she didn't want to, then it would be a naked punishment.
When Shen Mo finished drawing the bathwater and was still unaware of what she was about to face, she quickly took off her clothes, raised her little face, which was red from being exposed to hot water, and looked forward to the future of her little face. She even immersed her whole head in the water to feel the different chaos of this world. However, all this beauty was frozen when she saw a pair of drunken, triangular eyes.
The door was forced open by brute force!
Chapter Eight: A Snowy Night
These were familiar eyes, so familiar that she had seen them every day for months. Yet today, the look in his eyes was completely unfamiliar. Shen Mo had never been so panicked before. In a short moment, her face was covered in sweat. She picked up the clothes beside her and tried to put them on haphazardly, but strangely, she couldn't get them on!
"Aunt... Uncle." Shen Mo tried to wake this usually normal man with an uncommon form of address, her voice tinged with barely concealed fear. But he had clearly ignored all sounds and staggered toward her, leaning on the chairs for support.
"Come here, little darling, let me... let me love you properly." Rong Si hiccuped frequently, his words incoherent, but they perfectly revealed the greed and disgust of a drunkard.
When Rong Si first reached out to her, Shen Mo was so overwhelmed by the pungent smell of alcohol that she could only back away. Her tender skin, touched by Rong Si's calloused hand, trembled, and her will to resist was suppressed by fear.
Fortunately, seeing Rong Si's disgusting face reminded Shen Mo of the scenes he had forced himself on Mo An that day—memories she could never forget, memories she couldn't shake off. So when Rong Si reached for her body again, Shen Mo had enough composure and courage to pick up the scissors beside her and stab him.
But when Rong Si, drunk from alcohol, lay on the ground calling out "Mo An," she found herself feeling a slight pang of regret and guilt. In her eyes, this man was someone Mo An deeply loved, and who also loved Mo An. He had acted rudely because he thought of her as Mo An. Shen Mo had deceived herself in this way, so she accepted it. At that time, she was still naive and did not know what consequences would result from hastily admitting such a simple matter. But looking at Rong Si lying on the ground with blood flowing from his arm, she could not stay in this room for another second.
Mo An might be dreaming with Rong Yan in her arms at this moment, or she might not. In any case, Shen Mo had already decided not to let her know that Rong Si was not tolerable for any flaws in Mo An's heart. She had seen this clearly on Mo An's happy face when she got married.
Shen Mo tried to cover her mouth, afraid that she might accidentally let out an uncontrollable outburst of emotion; Shen Mo tried to keep her eyes wide open, watching the obstacles on the ground, afraid that she might trip and attract Mo An's attention. She hurriedly put on her undergarments and rushed out, without taking her outer garment, because there was Rong Si's blood on it.
But you must know that this is a bitterly cold winter, and the snowy night that belonged to Rongyan has not yet passed, yet she already has to leave.
Shen Mo didn't know where she was going. Perhaps her mind was too muddled at the time, and she couldn't think of any other place to go. Or perhaps she was in a good mood and wanted to explore every corner of the Rong Mansion. But in the end, she was just punching and kicking a tree like a madwoman, venting her power, that power that was powerless everywhere.
When her mouth was parched and she was panting, she would casually pick up a puddle of snow from the ground and stuff it into her mouth, chewing it fiercely, always trying to crush it before it melted. Several times, however, she bit her tongue until her nose ached. Actually, it was a secret. When her eyes stung, she could always transfer the sensation to other organs. This secret, which she hadn't even told Mo An, she called a skill, a skill that every servant should learn and always be able to use.
Many people don't know how attractive the soft candlelight is on such a cold, lonely, and quiet night. Perhaps you can understand this by seeing Shen Mo walking towards the house without hesitation. But as a servant in the Rong family for many years, Shen Mo has developed a habit. She will only approach any magnificent courtyard in the Rong family, but will not enter it casually.
Huddled in the corner of the unfamiliar, dark wall, the tall wall shielding her from some of the sharp wind, Chen Mo took the chain off her feet, hugged it to her chest, and let out a long sigh, her expression as if she were hugging a warm heater. Mo An didn't want to think about it, Rong Yue couldn't think about it, and this was all she had left.
She thought she could quietly curl up here for one night, and then, the day after tomorrow, when Rong Si woke up and told Mo An it was an accidental injury, she could erase everything from tonight without a trace, just like two years ago. However, upon hearing the woman's sobs and the man's whispers, all of that became impossible; at least, what happened here could not be erased by her.
"What are you doing here? Just let us, mother and child, fend for ourselves."
Shen Mo didn't believe it was Madam Rong's voice at first. This weak female voice with a sob in it was very different from the calm and deathly Madam Rong she had seen before. However, taking advantage of the favorable position under the window where she was, she looked up and followed the candlelight inside the window to identify the direction of the courtyard. She had to admit that the crying woman was indeed Rong Yue's mother.
It's impossible not to be curious about the entire Rong family. How could a woman who wholeheartedly devoted herself to Buddhism support such a huge family business? Why is there no Master Rong in the Rong family? Even from the first time Shen Mo saw Madam Rong, she wondered what kind of story had tormented her to such a state. So when she heard the voice of a strange man, she moved closer and closer. However, the truth she heard was like a flood or a beast, making her hesitate for five whole years.
"Qin Ran, you should understand that I care about you and Yue'er, but I am in a high position and have no choice in what I do."
“I understand, but you shouldn’t have disturbed my peace of mind under the guise of an incognito visit when I was so calm.” Madam Rong’s voice was still choked with sobs. “If Yue’er found out that his father did not die a glorious death in battle, but stood at the highest point of Liang Kingdom overlooking the entire country, what would he think? How would you expect him to face that?” The usually indifferent Madam Rong showed an unusual outburst of emotion.
"Qinran..."
What they said next was completely unrecognizable to Shen Mo. Such a secret was hidden in Madam Rong's lifeless eyes! She only felt several words swirling in her mind: "traveling incognito" and "the highest place in Liang Kingdom." If she were an ordinary nine-year-old girl who rarely left the Rong mansion, she probably wouldn't have thought much of it, except perhaps for the fact that Rong Yue's father was still alive. However, she was Shen Mo, a person with memories and experiences from two lifetimes!
They wouldn't understand what this news meant for Rong Yue, who was always dissatisfied with the status quo and constantly pursued perfection. However, they had personally witnessed Rong Yue staying up all night in his study to win a game of chess, and overcoming numerous objections to secure the position of the Rong family in Ningcheng. Rong Yue was so hardworking even with things that weren't his own, let alone things that were. Shen Mo was certain that if he knew his true identity, the Rong family would no longer be the Rong family, and Rong Yue would be even more insurmountable.
Shen Mo hesitated. Rong Yue must want her to know, but what about her? Looking at the same candlelight, yet the scene shifted, she didn't know when she had arrived in Rong Yue's study. She didn't even know how she had gotten there without anyone noticing. The night, where everyone else was absorbed in their own world, had become her domain of unusual activity.
"Young Master?" If it weren't for the pain in her eyes from rubbing them, Shen Mo would have doubted that the Rong Yue lying motionless on the table was just a figment of her imagination.
Shen Mo realized after a moment that she had overthought things. Rong Yue had appeared in the study at this time before, but on this special night, she could only think in a special way.
"Young Master, it's late, you should rest." He often reminded him like this, and it didn't sound unfamiliar at all when he said it now.
However, Rong Yue did not move at all. If it were an ordinary person, anyone would rush over to find out if something had happened to him. But Rong Yue's aura of isolation was too strong, and Shen Mo waited for a long time before deciding to go forward to check.
The aroma of alcohol made Shen Mo frown, but it led her to a large sheet of Xuan paper spread out on the table, with the title:
Mother is like a green lamp
Friends like white tea
Eighteen years have passed in the blink of an eye.
No one and beautiful scenery
Rong Yue's shadow was cast on the paper window through the dim candlelight, making him appear exceptionally lonely.
Eighteen years? Shen Mo was stunned. She had heard that the mansion was very lively today, but she did not expect that she would be happily washing Rong Yan's clothes on Rong Yue's eighteenth birthday without knowing anything.
No wonder Rong Sihui was drunk, no wonder the Emperor went on an incognito visit. She couldn't help but move closer, her fingers touching the paper. She saw that the pen was sharp as a blade, the ink was not yet dry, and she saw that every stroke revealed helplessness and resentment. If it weren't for today, Shen Mo would never have used these two words on Rong Yue.
Having just experienced Rong Si's bloody rampage, Shen Mo assumed that someone drunk wouldn't sober up easily. Therefore, after staring at Rong Yue for a long time, she picked up her pen and wrote down a few words of encouragement:
Wind-like hearing
Rain makes one's body strong
The road ahead is long and arduous.
Trust will surely bring you a kindred spirit from afar.
"What are you doing?"
Chapter Nine: The Flower Pond