The moment she mentioned Yun Shu, her expression darkened noticeably. At the same time, Tan Lang was already drenched in cold sweat. The emperor's sharp gaze through the lattice window made him feel like he was being pricked by needles, unsure of what wrong word he might say that would lead to dire consequences.
"Your Majesty, is there some unpleasantness between you and the Emperor?" After exchanging a few pleasantries with Xiao Jin, Tan Lang had no choice but to bite the bullet and ask the crucial question. "The Princess said that when she saw Your Majesty last time, Your Majesty seemed quite depressed. Since the Emperor was present, she didn't dare to ask. Today, upon learning that I had entered the palace, she asked me to inquire about Your Majesty no matter what."
Tan Lang's words were full of holes, but Xiao Jin, who had been distracted lately, didn't notice anything amiss. She had been holding back some things for too long and wanted to talk to someone. And the only person who could keep it a secret and not reveal anything was Tan Lang.
"When the Emperor was in distress in the palace, I followed him in and was granted the title of Princess overnight. Do you find that strange?" Xiao Jin pondered for a moment before uttering this seemingly unrelated sentence.
Tan Lang's eyes showed doubt. This had almost become a taboo subject for them, something they could never mention. Rumors in the capital said that Xiao Jin had slept with Yun Xu, and although they absolutely trusted Xiao Jin's character, it wasn't impossible that she might have done so in her haste to save Yun Shu—
"The rumors circulating in the capital are incorrect," Xiao Jin chuckled. "Given my status back then, even if I were truly so shameless as to climb into Yun Xu's bed, would I have been so easily bestowed the title of Princess?"
"And when I offered Yunxu my advice, he really didn't suspect anything, which you all find strange!"
Not only did Tan Lang become serious, but Yun Shu also secretly focused her attention and listened carefully.
“Because I don’t belong here.” Xiao Jin sighed softly, her eyes empty and unfocused. “I came from another world. My body is Xiao Jin’s, but the soul inside is someone else’s.”
Xiao Jin's two casual words were like a bolt from the blue, exploding in Tan Lang and Yun Shu's ears.
"Why would Yunxu believe me unconditionally?" Xiao Jin decided to speak frankly and reveal everything. "The soul in Yunxu's body has long since been replaced. He and I come from the same world. A song lyric I wrote for Mo once exposed my identity. In order to prevent Yunxu from taking me into his harem, I had to scheme to get him to make me the eldest princess."
"The rest is easy to explain."
Tan Lang was no ordinary man; even faced with such shocking words, he remained calm, though his gaze grew increasingly complex. He wanted to ask many questions, but didn't know where to begin. Xiao Jin, however, hadn't finished speaking.
"The reason I came into this world is because of the Emperor. Master Huizong told me that I am the one who helps the Emperor gather the three stars of Killing, Breaking, and Wolf. When the three stars are gathered, the world will change hands. And at that time, I will have the opportunity to go home."
If the previous words had struck Yun Shu's heart like blows, this one was the fatal one.
Going home... He felt a terrible panic. This place was where he and their newborn son were, but for her, it wasn't even home?
“I dare not ask Master Huizong how to get back.” Xiao Jin’s face was pale, and her eyes were empty and bewildered, which was heartbreaking. “I’m afraid he will answer me, and I’m also afraid there will be no answer.”
On one side is the home she's lived in for over twenty years and longed for for four years; on the other is the home she and Yun Shu have just built. And their home is so unusual. It's true that Yun Shu respects and loves her, but who can guarantee that things will never change? She'll have to weigh more and more factors. If she hadn't fallen for him, she could try to be a virtuous empress; but once she's invested her feelings, she won't be so magnanimous.
Just like when she first married Yun Shu, she spent her days trying to find Yun Shu a "true love" so that he would be less disgusted with her.
Xiao Jin slowly smiled, but the bitterness within was impossible to conceal. All of this was just an excuse for her selfishness. If she could use the excuse that Yun Shu would change her mind, she probably wouldn't feel so guilty if she left!
"Please don't tell the Emperor about this." Xiao Jin sighed deeply. She tilted her head, her eyes glistening with tears, and gave a strange smile. "Actually, it might be better if I weren't here. The Emperor would have a full harem, and he could have a virtuous empress to manage the entire harem for him. He would have many children and grandchildren, and he would have been able to keep the court in check. He wouldn't be in such a predicament because of me like he is today."
How could she not know how much pressure Yun Shu had shouldered for her? But the more she thought about it, the more rational she felt that the two of them should separate.
Tan Lang didn't dare to answer. The Emperor was standing right behind him, and he didn't know what the Emperor was thinking.
"Please give my regards to Yunniang." Xiao Jin straightened up, wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief, and said with composure and grace, "If she has time, she can come to the palace."
"Yes," Tan Lang replied, forcing himself to agree.
Xiao Jin nodded slightly, turned and went out the door. Her long, bright red dress trailed on the ground, making her figure appear somewhat frail.
Just as Xiao Jin's figure disappeared, Tan Lang suddenly heard the sound of shattering glass. He turned around and saw that the stained glass on the partition was broken into pieces. Yun Shu's face was grim, as if she was brewing a storm.
******
Tonight, Yun Shu went to Fengqi Palace unusually late. In the past, no matter how busy he was, he would not want to disturb Xiao Jin's rest. At most, he would have someone take the memorials there, and he would continue to review them after watching her fall asleep.
It's past midnight today, and Yun Shu is still nowhere to be seen. Xiao Jin sent people to inquire twice, but they were only told that the Emperor was busy with state affairs and asked her to rest first.
Xiao Jin went to see her son. He had already passed his 100th day and was gradually growing into a pink and tender little dumpling. His soft little body smelled sweet and warm, making one want to cherish him. He woke up crying, and after the wet nurse fed him, she handed him to Xiao Jin.
Whether he sensed that it was his own flesh and blood holding him or not, he nestled obediently in Xiao Jin's arms without crying or fussing, his large, beautiful eyes like black agate. Xiao Jin couldn't resist reaching out to tease him, and he giggled obligingly.
"It's true what they say, a mother's heart is connected to her child's; the eldest prince knows it's you holding him," the wet nurse chimed in. "Look how happy the eldest prince is!"
Xiao Jin's heart softened instantly.
She loved children, believing that these innocent and tender creatures possessed the purest emotions, making one want to cherish and protect them. She had showered Xiao Ye and Chu Muyan with genuine affection; how could she not feel love for the child before her, a flesh of her own flesh?
Moreover, this child had been through so much with her, almost losing his life several times, and was born weak, which added to Xiao Jin's guilt.
Thinking of this, and seeing that he was willing to be held by her, Xiao Jin was even more reluctant to let go. To make him happy, she carried him and walked back and forth in the side hall. Although he couldn't speak yet, his babbling made it clear that he was happy.
A satisfied smile also appeared on Xiao Jin's face.
That pure and innocent smile caught the eye of Yun Shu, who had just stepped into the side hall, and he stopped in his tracks. Looking at Xiao Jin's tender expression as she held their son, he suddenly felt his eyes well up with tears. With his beloved wife and child by his side, wasn't this the life he had always longed for?
"Your Majesty!" It was Xiao Jin who noticed Yun Shu had entered when she turned around. She quickly hugged her son and bowed to him.
Xiao Jin was weak, and carrying the child for a long time inevitably made her a little weak. When she bent her knee, she staggered two steps and almost fell. Yun Shu immediately stepped forward to support her waist and said with concern, "Be careful. I told you before, you don't need to care about these formalities in your palace."
Xiao Jin smiled a little embarrassedly and looked down at her son in her arms. She thought the commotion had startled him, but instead he was laughing heartily, waving his chubby little arms, as if he thought Xiao Jin was playing with him.
Yun Shu led the mother and son to sit down on the soft couch and waved for the servants to leave.
"It's time to give him a name." Yun Shu had many things to say since returning from the Imperial Study, but seeing the heartwarming scene before him, he suddenly uttered these words.
Xiao Jin didn't notice anything amiss and nodded. "What do you think is good?"
“His generation still uses a single character.” Yun Shu spoke slowly, her tone suddenly becoming solemn, “Liu.”
Xiao Jin's eyebrows twitched suddenly; she almost thought Yun Shu had figured out her secret! Stay? Impossible, Xiao Jin comforted herself, it's just the profound and complex Chinese language, just a homonym!
"Yun Liu?" Xiao Jin's smile became somewhat forced. She smiled at her son in her arms as if trying to avoid him, "Liu'er, your father has given you a name."
"I intend to make Liu'er the crown prince," Yun Shu said calmly. "I will issue the decree after the New Year."
Xiao Jin trembled violently; she felt her teeth chattering uncontrollably. Panic surged within her, and she instantly lost her usual composure. She hugged Yun Liu tightly in her arms, forcing a smile, and said, "Liu'er is still too young; perhaps it's not appropriate?"