Chen Xiao was a little suspicious. Although the air in Lehu was good, it seemed to be about seven or eight kilometers away from the city.
However, Chen Xiao would not pry into other people's privacy.
"What about you? What are you doing here?" Xiao Qing was a little nervous. Although she pretended to be calm, she subconsciously rubbed the grass on the ground with her toes, somewhat absent-minded.
Chen Xiao's expression turned serious. He sighed slowly and pointed to the house behind him: "This... is actually my hometown, the place where I lived when I was a child."
Xiao Qing responded with an "Oh".
Chen Xiao was slightly curious: "Huh? How come it seems like you already knew?"
"Ah! Ah? No." Xiao Qing felt that her expression seemed too calm, so she quickly shook her head: "It's not surprising. I heard that your family used to be very well-off."
Chen Xiao nodded, turned around, and stared intently at the house. After a while, he smiled and said, "Sorry, I was daydreaming."
Xiao Qing caught a glimpse of melancholy in Chen Xiao's eyes...
A handsome young man with melancholic eyes, plus the hero saving the damsel in distress—it's a woman's ultimate weapon...
"You seem to be in a bad mood?" Xiao Qing's heart softened suddenly. She put aside her chaotic emotions, took two steps closer, and looked at Chen Xiao up close. Her eyes softened a lot. Just now, she seemed to have seen him shed tears.
Chen Xiao forced a smile, lit his cigarette again, glanced at Xiao Qing, and raised an eyebrow: "What? Didn't expect me to smoke?" Xiao Qing gave a soft "hmm," her eyes still gentle, and simply said, "Smoking is bad for your health."
"I actually started smoking a long time ago," Chen Xiao said, taking a deep drag. "I just quit two years ago. Today, I just wanted to smoke."
He then smiled at Xiao Qing and said gently, "Thank you for reminding me."
Xiao Qing forced a smile: "No need to thank me, we... are friends, right?"
Damn it, why does the word "friend" taste so bitter today?
With a helpless sigh, Xiao Qing recalled the information she had seen, hesitated for a moment, and then cautiously asked, "Chen Xiao, you... you said you grew up in this house?"
"Hmm." Chen Xiao nodded, pointing to the east-facing window on the second floor: "That's my room. I've lived there since I was six. I lived there for ten years. I moved out when I was sixteen."
Xiao Qing opened her mouth, noticing a trace of sadness on Chen Xiao's face, and said softly, "This place has a very nice environment. Lehu Lake is beautiful. Living in such a nice environment must be a good life."
"Hmph, not bad!" Chen Xiao's tone suddenly turned cold. He took a deep drag on his cigarette and exhaled sharply, as if to vent all the pent-up frustration in his chest. His smile carried a hint of desolation: "It's not bad. The environment is very nice and quiet... During the day, you can see some families by the lake, parents with their children laughing and fishing. There's also a square at the intersection ahead where some parents play with their children. In the evening, you can occasionally see families having barbecues on their lawns... It's a very nice place to live."
"Hmm. The scene you described is beautiful..." Xiao Qing said softly.
"...That was also the scene I hated seeing the most in the past," Chen Xiao added casually.
Xiao Qing looked at Chen Xiao in surprise, only to find a knot of resentment and anger lingering in Chen Xiao's brows. Chen Xiao's fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
He... seems very sad...
At this moment, Xiao Qing's mind suddenly went blank. All the chaotic thoughts, shyness, unease, and anxiety from before seemed to have been thrown to the winds! She simply walked quietly closer to Chen Xiao, reached out, gently took the cigarette from his fingers, threw it away, and said softly, "Don't smoke anymore, it's bad for your health."
Then, with a gentle gesture, she took Chen Xiao's hand and led him slowly to sit on the steps.
The steps were covered in dust, but Xiao Qing seemed not to care at all. She pulled Chen Xiao to sit down and sat right next to him.
"I know you must have a lot of pain in your heart, right?" Xiao Qing did not let go of Chen Xiao's hand; her fingertips were still pressed on the back of Chen Xiao's hand.
Chen Xiao lowered his head, his voice muffled. "Before, my greatest hope was to leave this place one day! To leave this house! I felt like this place was a cage, a cold, lifeless cage! I hated seeing this place! What's the difference between living here alone and living in a small house alone? Even if I slept on the street, at least I could feel the noise of the street, which was better than being alone in this empty house at night."
His voice was filled with sadness and agitation: "What I fear most is seeing other families by the lake, enjoying happy times together. What I fear most is seeing other fathers carrying their children on their shoulders... because I know I will never see that kind of scene! I will never see it!"
Xiao Qing didn't speak, but continued to gently press Chen Xiao's hand, her fingers lightly stroking his hand, her eyes gentle as water.
Chen Xiao seemed oblivious to the intimate gesture; he appeared to simply need to confide in someone.
"You know what? Since I was little, I've always been most afraid of holidays. Every holiday, whether it's the Dragon Boat Festival, the Mid-Autumn Festival, or the Spring Festival, other families are all together, enjoying each other's happiness. But at those times, I'm all alone in the house, and at night, looking at the warm lights coming from other houses, I always feel incredibly lonely. So every holiday, I'd rather leave home and wander the streets alone, not coming back until dawn. Or I'd stay home alone, turn on all the lights and the TV, and then go to sleep on the sofa."
Xiao Qing finally spoke, gazing at Chen Xiao softly, "Even so, you still can't let go of this family. Right?"
"..." Chen Xiao finally raised his head, glanced at Xiao Qing with a complicated look in his eyes, and finally nodded: "Yes, I can't let go."
He sighed, “I used to hate this place, thinking that leaving was better than being alone here. But when I actually left, I found myself even emptier! At least, there was this house here. I still had something to look forward to, something to care about, even if the house was empty. But at least it was my home. Even if my parents' room was empty and no one lived there, at least there were their clothes in the room, my father's books in the study, and their presence in the house. Even if they only came back for a day or two out of the 365 days of the year… at least there was still something to look forward to. After everything was really over, after leaving, I suddenly realized that having a glimmer of hope is much better than having no hope at all!”
I thought I was strong! When people came to move their things, when they came to seal up the house, I didn't shed a single tear. But only after leaving did I realize that although the days I lived here weren't pleasant, I still missed those days. Suddenly, I felt those days were so happy! At least, having a home to cherish, something to look forward to, was much better than feeling empty-handed. Even when my parents weren't around, I could occasionally run to their room, roll around on their bed, or sneak into my father's study and look through the books he left behind…”
Chen Xiao's eyes suddenly reddened. He quickly turned his head away, coughed twice, and forced a smile, saying, "I'm sorry you had to see this."
"No, not at all." Xiao Qing smiled and placed her hand on Chen Xiao's shoulder, gently straightening his body. Looking into his eyes, she said softly, "I understand how you feel."
"...Thank you." Chen Xiao forced a smile. "I've been a bit emotional today; I'm not usually like this."
“I know.” Xiao Qing shook her head, her voice becoming even gentler. “But I like you the way you are now. You know what? Usually, although you smile at people, there’s always a distance in your eyes. You seem cold and don’t like getting close to people. It’s like you’re always on guard against something. Now, at least, I feel that cold distance between us is gone.”
After a pause, Xiao Qing's face suddenly turned red, her eyes filled with shyness and nervousness: "If... if you want to cry, then cry. I promise I won't tell anyone. I... I can lend you my shoulder to lean on."
Chen Xiao laughed: "No need, only girls would cry on a man's shoulder, I'm a man."
He paused for a moment, a hint of mockery in his eyes: "Actually, just before I met you, I did something really stupid."
"Well?"
Chen Xiao pointed to the house: "I... bought it back with my own money."
"You bought it?" Xiao Qing was only stunned for a moment before she was no longer surprised. She didn't even ask Chen Xiao how he suddenly had the money to buy such a big house. After all, she had heard that Chen Xiao's financial situation didn't seem to be that good—his nickname "Bicycle Prince" wasn't for nothing.
However, Xiao Qing did not pursue these questions. In her view, since Chen Xiao had bought a house, his money must have come from a legitimate source, at least not from stealing, robbing, or begging...
It seems that she completely trusts Chen Xiao in everything he does.
Xiao Qing didn't realize what it meant when a girl developed such feelings for a boy.