"...Come back to me, and I'll tell you." Chaoge paused for a few seconds before uttering her answer, word by word.
Luo Qinghe smiled, a hint of regret flashing in her eyes. When Chaoge heard her say "okay," she agreed so readily.
For a long time afterward, Chaoge's mind remained fixed on the scene where Qinghe asked her, "If time could turn back, would you still have helped me then?"
Of course I do! I've never regretted knowing you. Even if I could do it a thousand or ten thousand times over, I would still be so glad you chose me to be your best friend.
But these words remained deeply buried in Yan Chaoge's heart.
On the founding day of the Juecheng Federal Republic, Marshal Luo Qinghe of the P4 Nebula gloriously sacrificed his life. Military strategist Si Zhongqi succeeded him as Marshal of the Juecheng Federal Republic and concurrently served as the Federal President.
On the same day, the Red Cloud Galaxy achieved its first major victory in the war against the P4 Nebula, breaking the one-sided situation of the P4 Nebula and entering a stalemate.
Also, according to rumors, a mech mysteriously appeared on the marching recorder of the Imperial Third Fleet on the day the war ended, and then disappeared after the war ended.
The distant planets of the p4 nebula.
A month had passed since the war, and only then did the news of Si Zhongqi's succession as Marshal of the Republic reach this remote planet.
The surroundings were filled with laughter, noise, and the sound of things breaking. No one here cared who the leader of the Federation had changed. They didn't even care how powerful the previous guy was. After learning that the former marshal was dead, these people wouldn't even utter a single word of regret for him.
In the corner, someone looked at the shards of glass scattered on the ground, reaching out to pick them up in despair, but tears welled up in their eyes and splashed onto the back of their hand, blurring their vision so they couldn't see their outstretched hand clearly.
Her hand hovered in mid-air for a long time before she withdrew it, covering her eyes with the back of her hand, tears streaming down her face.
His lips opened and closed, silently repeating two words: "Liar, liar, liar..."
I don't blame you for lying to me anymore, please come back.
When you come back, I'll tell you that no matter how many times we start over, I'm still so glad I reached out to you back then.
They abandoned you, but I didn't. You chose this path for those who abandoned you, so why won't you live for me?
They're all a bunch of liars.
☆, Chapter 63 Luo Qinghe's Side Story - The Only Light in Her Life
From the time she could remember, Luo Qinghe had always had one question on her mind: What is it about me that makes me different from others?
Countless times I've stood in front of the mirror, looking at the person reflected in it, who has neither an extra hand nor an extra eye compared to others.
From a young age, her parents told her that she had to work harder than others.
Later, she discovered that the harder she worked than others, the more malice and ridicule she received. Sometimes, lying alone in bed at night, with her eyes closed, she would hear voices from the daytime echoing in her mind:
"Huh? She's pretty good... What's this? The AI is showing her level is so low. Is this girl trying to prove she's better than us? Get the level right, will you?"
"Alright, there's no way you can get a higher access level. Oh, it shows your previous grades were below average in the class. Did you cheat on this exam?"
"Ah, the results are out this time. Look, this is more in line with your level."
...
The voices of countless people whose faces she couldn't see echoed in her mind, which constituted almost all of her dreams from her childhood.
Later, she finally understood what the so-called permission levels were all about.
Both her parents were orphans. They met through a platform provided by AI when they reached marriageable age. Their lives were neither good nor bad, but even so, her home still made her feel peaceful and serene. Her mother was very successful outside and very gentle at home, and her father had a particularly good temper and cooked exceptionally delicious food.
She had wanted to run away from school because she was afraid of it, but her mother smiled and said to her, "If you give up on this, you'll always be stuck like this. Don't you want to be on the same starting line as them someday?"
Because that's what my mother did herself, she wasn't content with her current situation, so she worked hard to get to where she is today. I heard that if she works hard at her current company for a few more years, the whole family's authority level can be upgraded.
Even though she was scared, Luo Qinghe told herself that it was okay and things would get better in the future.
So even though she was scared, she desperately wanted to get into the best school. The rulers of the Crystalless Empire were all military men, and the best school was the Yuandu Military Academy. Even though her strength level or intelligence had only hovered around the passing mark since she was a child, she still wanted to try her best to find that glimmer of hope.
If I can't pilot a mecha, I can at least study it, right?
Even long afterward, Luo Qinghe still felt that receiving the admission notice from Yuandu Military Academy was the happiest moment of her life.
Her parents happily invited the neighbors to dinner, their eyes brimming with hope, as if they were placing all their hopes for the family's future on her.
If only time could have stopped at that moment.
How wonderful it would have been if my mother hadn't discovered that company information had been stolen by spies from another country.
If only my mother hadn't died in that explosion.
Just when she thought the worst thing that could happen to her was yet to come, several uninvited guests arrived at her home. She watched helplessly as they entered, claiming that her parents were descendants of their Nebula clan and that it was now time for them to repay their country.
Am I not a member of the Crystalless Empire?
So, are all the things I've encountered over the past ten years just bad luck?
She was forced to undergo a bloodline test, and then watched in fear as they whispered something she couldn't understand. These people came and went like a gust of wind, leaving Luo Qinghe thinking for many days afterward that it was all just a dream.
Was I overthinking it? It's because I'm too unwilling to accept being just an ordinary person in this Crystalless Empire.
Until he entered Yuandu Military Academy, a place that gathered all the top figures of the Crystalless Empire.
Looking around the entire school, Luo Qinghe couldn't find anyone with such a low access level as her. Perhaps those who were like her were just more self-aware.
Here, she truly felt the gap between people. The AI she hated most had categorized everyone's abilities into levels, and even if she tried her best, she couldn't catch up with others in areas where there were inherent differences. Luo Qinghe finally understood that some things cannot be achieved simply through effort.
Those arrogant individuals I've encountered before will only have their arrogance amplified here. Offending others will happen faster than you imagine.
When she was singled out for criticism again, which affected the whole class, she barely had the energy to continue.
What's the point? Mom, you told me I had to work harder than others, and I did, but now I really see the gap between me and them, and I'm almost in despair.
Looking down at the ground, Luo Qinghe seemed to see the expression on her father's face when he received the decision to drop out of school a month later.
Just thinking about that scene made her feel like she was suffocating.
"Hey, you dragging me down, the AI records that you studied dance for six years when you were little. Looks like those six years of dance couldn't cure your lack of coordination." What drew her attention back was Yan Ziyu's mocking voice. One of the descendants of the Yan family, one of the three major families in the military, this identity seemed unattainable to Luo Qinghe just by hearing it.
As she was pondering how to make these people dislike her less, someone appeared beside her: "You're too tense. Your limbs are stiff like that. Relax, I'll demonstrate for you. That wall is easy to climb." She looked up and, sure enough, saw another descendant of one of the three major military families.
She helped me only because she couldn't stand Yan Ziyu.
Luo Qinghe used to be moved to tears by help, but now she just watches coldly, wondering whether she should be used as a pawn.
What happened next was unexpected.
The girl named Yan Chaoge didn't seem to care about Yan Ziyu. Instead, she got along very well with the girl from the Min family, her smile so pure, as if she hadn't climbed up from the family's infighting.
It seems that helping her that day was really just a small favor.
The rest of the time was quite pleasant. Fortunately, it seemed that Chaoge really just wanted to be friends with her. I still remember the look on her face when she came running to me in a panic, asking about her experience in the extra training for mecha operation class.
If Yan Ziyu hadn't been so disliked as to humiliate my father...
The pain, which I had always borne alone, suddenly increased tenfold or a hundredfold on that day.
The resentment that had been locked deep within his heart for so long overflowed its cage, and the beast finally broke free of its restraints, roaring wildly between heaven and earth.
When she returned home for the holiday, she was in a very unpleasant mood. She complained to her father because he was acting as if nothing had happened and planned to continue working at Yuandu Military Academy: "Aren't you sad? Seeing what others say about you and what you say about me, where do you get the courage to continue going to work, Dad?"
"Do you know how long I've endured this? Sometimes I really wish I were a descendant of that nebula from that day, so maybe I'd have the power to destroy this disgusting place."
...Luo Qinghe didn't remember what else she said after that. She only remembered that at the end of her long string of complaints, her father, with his back to her, asked in a deep voice, "Do you hate this place that much?"
"Yes, I wish I had never been born."
Luo Qinghe never told anyone what happened to her father afterward. Her father's cooking was exceptionally delicious, making up almost half of all her fond childhood memories.
She hated herself as much as she hated the Crystalless Empire.
If she hadn't said such hurtful things that day, Dad wouldn't have gone to those people, and he wouldn't have been casually killed as a failed offspring because his bloodline hadn't awakened. It was as if Dad had known this outcome all along; he even left a letter for her at home before leaving.
Her father apologized to her, saying that if he and her mother hadn't worked so hard, their authority level would be higher, and she would be happier than she is now.
Her father told her that even so, he still really wanted her to be happy in the future. If she wasn't happy in the Crystalless Empire, she could go back to the P4 Nebula, where at least there, there would be no access restrictions.
It seemed that only then did Lady Luck remember that she existed in the world. Her home welcomed the same group of people from that day again, but they treated her with utmost respect.
It turns out that my abilities only fully awakened with my help.
It turns out that I also possess such powerful potential within me, completely comparable to that of the Empress of the Empire.
But when I finally stood at the top, why was no one by my side?
A decision to expel you from Yuandu Military Academy? What does that even mean?
Luo Qinghe hated everyone—the Crystalless Empire, the P4 Nebula that killed her father, and herself. She once thought everyone in this world was like her, no matter how kind they appeared on the surface, harboring deep malice towards the world deep in their hearts.
But Yan Chaoge's brilliance only appeared in her life at this moment.
When she saw Yan Chaoge again at the court ball hosted by Qin Muge, she found that Yan Chaoge was still the same as she had been at school. Most of the time, she seemed indifferent and didn't care about the world. But when she saw Qin Muge, she immediately smiled as warmly as the sunlight.
Her smile was always genuine, without any attempt to please anyone.
Luo Qinghe found that the light dazzling, but later she realized that she was just jealous of Qin Muge, because some people really are so lucky and have everything she wants.
Approaching Chaoge once again, spending time with her once more, until seeing the look of guilt and nostalgia in Chaoge's eyes when she mentioned her past self, Luo Qinghe belatedly realized what kind of person she had missed.
Perhaps it wasn't a missed opportunity, but rather that she was a step too late.
Fortune smiled upon her once again. Qin Muge discovered her identity but conveniently pushed Chaoge to his side. Upon discovering the truth, Luo Qinghe felt both anger and triumph.
What kind of arrogance could make Qin Muge believe that Chaoge could still return to her side?
Thank you for giving me such a wonderful person; I will accept it without hesitation.
Chaoge treated her the same as before, even more indulgently, as if she always felt indebted to her. Faced with Chaoge like this, Qinghe couldn't tell her her purpose.
Many times, a destructive urge would inexplicably arise, and I would wonder if Chaoge could still laugh like that when he realized he had lost something important.
Ultimately, they will give up because they can't bear to part with it.
This contradiction continued until the day the Federation was established. The strategist, who had been holding back for so long, finally revealed his true colors, and Qin Muge seemed to be planning to launch a counterattack on that day.
A plan slowly took shape in my mind.
Before the final execution, recalling their first meeting, he smiled and asked Chaoge, "If time could turn back, would you still help me then?"
But I got such a ridiculous answer.
I've thought about it, but it still won't work, Chaoge. I hate this world so much, and you appeared too late. I can't stop now.
You would be very sad if you knew I was dead.
I can't make you like me, but it would be nice if I could make you cry for me even once. It's a pity I probably won't be able to see it then.