This was her last hope. If he called, if he said he would stay in Japan and asked her to wait for him, she would agree. No matter how difficult the road ahead might be, as long as he said it, she would go for it.
As long as he's willing to talk.
She finally received the call. At noon, her phone rang, and Lan Di said on the other end, "Shi Nan, happy birthday."
Shi Nan tried his best to control his emotions and replied in as cheerful a voice as possible, "Thank you." But he couldn't utter another word.
She waited for him to speak again, but he didn't. It seemed to be a signal problem; the phone call dropped in silence.
All afternoon, until everyone packed up and went home, she was still waiting for him to call again, but he didn't.
Shi Nan forced a smile and said, "I'll stay and work overtime."
He wouldn't unexpectedly appear before her like before; she knew that once he made the call, he wouldn't come.
Everyone left in twos and threes, and Cheng Bin walked out of the office.
"It's your birthday today, why aren't you going out to celebrate? What are you doing staying home to work overtime?"
“Getting a year older is nothing to celebrate.” Shi Nan’s voice was already trembling.
"Are you in a bad mood?" Cheng Bin noticed her unhappiness.
"Perhaps I should go home." Fearing he would lose control, Shi Nan got up to leave.
“I’ll take you,” she waved her hand and said no, but he added, “Shi Nan, don’t be stubborn.”
She finally nodded, covered her face, and tears streamed down her face into her handkerchief.
Shi Nan had never been this vulnerable before. As a child, she was even more mischievous than the boys, and no matter how hard she fell or how much blood she bled, she never cried.
The only time I remember her crying like that was when her grandfather passed away. I had told her about her grandfather, who was a very bad and hateful Japanese man, since she was little.
Cheng Bin said nothing more, only gave her a hug.
Shi Nan didn't refuse, burying her face in his arms and weeping silently, trying her best to suppress the trembling in her shoulders. All she needed was a comforting embrace from her family; only then could she stand firm and not collapse.
Landy sat on the plane, feeling very uneasy.
Just now in the waiting hall, for no reason, I suddenly wanted to call Shi Nan, even though he would appear in front of her in a few hours.
He wished her a happy birthday. Wouldn't that make her think he wasn't coming back, and that she'd be pleasantly surprised to see him again? —If she still had feelings for him.
She simply said thank you and that was it.
His earlier fear intensified, a bad premonition creeping in.
The car arrived at her office building just as get off work was ending. He glanced at the floor plan while keeping an eye on the flow of people leaving, afraid of missing her. A passerby asked him, "What company are you looking for?"
“XXX”.
"Oh? I'm from XXX. Which department are you looking for?"
"HR."
"12th floor, turn left after exiting the elevator."
Lan Di thanked him and headed straight for the elevator. The doors opened, turned left, and for some reason, her heart was pounding. This wasn't the first time he'd suddenly come back to see her, so why was it like this?
He stopped abruptly in front of the large glass door. The large office behind the glass was almost empty, except for a man and a woman.
They stood in the corner by the window furthest from the door, the woman nestled in the man's arms.
That slender and graceful figure could only be Shi Nan, the woman he had been longing for day and night.
Five seconds later, he left.
Cheng Bin told Shi Nan to take a day off, and Shi Nan agreed.
But she didn't sleep a wink all night. She finally managed to close her eyes at dawn, and as soon as she fell asleep, she dreamed of Lan Di.
He said, "Shi Nan, I might stay in Japan after graduation."
Shi Nan cried and asked him, "But weren't you going back to Beijing? Didn't you tell me to wait for you?"
Lan Di replied, "Don't be silly. How could I give up a better future for you?"
She made a final effort: "I don't want you to give up. I can wait for you."
He laughed at her, "What's our relationship? We just slept together."
In that instant, she shattered. He burst into laughter.
The dream was short; she was pulled from it by her phone ringing.
“Shi Nan, it’s me, Lan Di.”
She shook her head. Wasn't it a dream?
"Shi Nan, are you there?"
"Yes, Landi, I'm home."
"You didn't go to work?"
"Hmm." She waited for him to ask why.
But he didn't. He just said, "Would you like to go out for a meal? I'm in Beijing."
Did she hear me correctly? "You're back? When did you get back?"
"Let's talk when we meet. Do you know Da Dong Roast Duck Restaurant? The one near Changhong Bridge?"
"I know you. Wait for me."
Empty city
Shi Nan brushed her teeth, washed her face, put on makeup, got dressed, went out, and hailed a taxi. She didn't need to wear makeup to see him, but she didn't want him to see her face, which anyone would know had been broken up with all night.
Traffic congestion turned an eight-minute journey into a twenty-minute one. It was agonizing.
He used to surprise him on his birthday; this time, however, he didn't show up until the next day.
He used to say, "Shi Nan, I'm downstairs from you"; but this time he said, "I'm in Beijing."
Is this a harbinger? Shi Nan wants to see him, yet she's also afraid to see him.
They finally arrived. Upon entering, the waiter led her to Landy's table.
He seemed as quiet as ever. Upon her arrival, he told the waiter to bring the food, then simply looked at her without saying a word.
"You've already ordered?" Shi Nan gritted her teeth, trying her best to remain expressionless. She couldn't show any expression; any expression, except for a deliberately feigned calmness, would give her away.
"Hmm. I don't have much time, or I'll miss my flight."
So he was leaving soon. Shi Nan wanted to ask him when he would be back, but seeing his indifferent expression, she bit her tongue and swallowed the words she was about to say.
He didn't speak, just kept staring at her. Perhaps it was because she was starting to put on makeup, but her usually stubborn face now revealed a charming allure, undeniably attractive to men. Perhaps she had realized her own charm, and so, as her colleagues said, had become very good at...seducing men?
He would rather she were still the same as before, without makeup, attracting him without realizing it, kissing him like eating candy, and being like a little wildcat in bed.
The woman before him was looking at him silently, so indifferent. The answer he wanted was already quite obvious, wasn't it?
When the duck was served, he said, "I didn't ask for your opinion, just consider it as keeping me company while I eat."
Shi Nan nodded.
Famous for its innovative and unique preparation method, the roast duck here is indeed crispy but not greasy compared to traditional brands. However, at this moment, neither of them could taste the food.
Shi Nan pretended to peel the skin with great interest, but she couldn't succeed no matter what she did. Lan Di didn't help her and casually said the sentence she least wanted to hear, "Shi Nan, I might stay in Japan after graduation."
Just as I expected.
Her aunt wasn't lying to her, and there was that dream she had that morning too.
He really said it; she wasn't hallucinating.
Shi Nan wanted to speak and ask him the question he had asked in her dream, but before she could finish speaking, she was struck by the image of him laughing heartily in her dream, and remembered that she was already broken in the dream.
We can't make the same mistake again. Shi Nan didn't ask anything in the end, and continued eating the duck with his head down. After a long while, he finally replied, "Hmm, not bad."
Landi put down his chopsticks and bowl.
She knew he was watching her, but she couldn't look up or meet his gaze. She just kept her head down and ate, continuing, "The duck was good too."
Shi Nan ate almost all of the duck by himself. He kept eating, trying to use the food to suppress his tears.
Lan Di said he had to go to the airport, and Shi Nan said okay, she wouldn't see him off. She was almost at her breaking point.
He waved to her to hail a taxi, and she got in without even looking at him. She said "Take care" and told the driver to drive off.
She burst into tears the moment she was out of his sight.
Landi, of course, didn't see this scene. All he saw was that during the meal, she used eating to cover up her awkward silence, and she barely glanced at him.
He made his final bet, telling her he would stay in Japan. Her reaction was complete indifference—as if it had nothing to do with her, and she wasn't even surprised.
Perhaps this is the attitude one has when they no longer want any connection with another person.
She truly didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.
As the plane took off, Landi looked out the window at the increasingly blurry city and said, "Goodbye, Beijing."
Cheng Bin was in his office when he received a call from Shi Nan. "Why are you calling? Aren't you getting some rest?"
"How many spots are left for the trip to the headquarters in the Netherlands?"
"Just one, the rest are all booked."
"Is there a suitable candidate for the remaining position?"
"I wanted to recommend Selena, but she just found out she's pregnant the day before yesterday."
"Then I'll go."
Shi Nan wanted to leave Beijing as soon as possible. Applying for a student visa and then applying to schools would take weeks. The company recently had a batch of spots for six-month training programs at headquarters; Cheng Bin had mentioned it to her a few days ago over dinner, and it should be submitted, but a few candidates hadn't been finalized yet.
Shi Nan decided to go to the Netherlands. Cheng Bin asked her why, and she said she was heartbroken.