Lanpu

Kapitel 28

Leaning against the door, I let out a long breath. This "divine medium incident" almost killed me; even though it's winter break, I still feel incredibly weak. I really enjoy being with Tang Chen, but I feel much more relaxed when he's out of my sight.

Yes, being friends with him was very exciting and stressful... but my heart is fragile, and I really couldn't take it.

I don't know how long Shuo can protect me, but at least this winter vacation, I can spend it easily and leisurely.

Shuo's attitude towards me was unusually laissez-faire. Whether I helped her or not, she didn't seem to care that I was so sickly and weak. If she thought I needed treatment, she would prescribe medicine; if she thought I didn't need treatment, she wouldn't budge even if I coughed up my lungs in front of her.

But I actually like her indulgence. In fact, she loves me very much. Not long after the winter vacation started, she hired an older woman to help out, and I had even less to do, so I could focus on recovering from my illness. At most, I would visit the old man and offer sacrifices on the 26th of the lunar month.

That day, I returned from offering sacrifices, and the winter sun was warm. Although I wasn't completely cured, I was about 70-80% better. Riding my motorcycle, I hummed a tune of peace and tranquility, and Huang'e came out with me to bask in the sun, squinting his eyes, seemingly enjoying himself.

I put all thoughts of monsters, ghosts, gods, and demons behind me; it was a very simple kind of joy.

As I entered the coffee shop, I pushed open the door and said, "Shuo, I'm back..." Then I glared at my uncle and Shuo.

"You're back." She chuckled as she stood up. "I'm going to check on the herb garden; you two chat." As she passed me, she chuckled softly and complained, "Why didn't you stay a little longer..."

…What are you trying to do?! You wicked witch!

"Are you feeling better?" My uncle looked at me kindly. "You did a good job... although someone with your constitution really shouldn't be involved in these things."

I sat down in front of him and gave a wry smile. "...Tang Chen has gone back to Taipei."

“I know.” His eyes were calm. “I came here specifically to see you.”

I am very grateful, truly. The first thing he did upon arrival was to take my pulse and then write a prescription. He asked me a few questions, inquiring about the content of my "correspondence course." He was very caring and attentive to me, but my anxiety only grew stronger.

Seeing my unease, he seemed to notice. "What do you want to say?"

I opened my mouth, unsure how to begin. I forced myself to ask, "Uncle, did you come to see me... or to see Shuo?"

Uncle Shi was puzzled. "Of course I came to see you, why..." He paused, not blushing, but looking embarrassed.

“Black Moon and I each follow our own path, but we can learn from each other. It’s just a friendly exchange, nothing more,” he patiently explained to me.

But this only made my scalp tingle more. When Shuo first met me, she told me that her real name was "Shuo," a name she had cobbled together from random Chinese characters. When she was deeply emotional, she showed me a black moon, which was her true name.

I had no idea that she had "given" her real name to her uncle.

“…Uncle, you are both elders I respect.” I hesitated for a moment, then said, “I don’t want to talk behind your back.”

My uncle looked like he wanted to laugh. “…I know the Black Moon sect doesn’t allow sexual relations between men and women. But my sect has always been strict about this. I know what you’re worried about…you really are a kind and good kid.” He patted my head.

…Besides my stepmother, no one has ever touched my head.

"I'll stay here for a few days, and I'll come back tomorrow." He got up to say goodbye, "Take me around to see the place tomorrow."

The next day, my uncle came. He asked me to take him to see the campus.

I had originally brought my motorcycle to give him a ride, but he naturally took my keys, told me to get on the motorcycle, and then took me up the mountain.

It's a wonderful feeling... I'm usually the one giving rides, and almost no one has ever given me one. How to describe it...? It's a feeling of peace and security (though a little embarrassing), like stepping into the cool shade of a big tree after the sweltering heat of summer. Protected by a gentle breeze, keeping the furnace-like heat at bay.

“Shuo once said that Uncle is a great man,” I blurted out.

Uncle Shi chuckled softly, "Oh? What does Hengzhi think?"

"It must be a thousand-year-old cypress tree that stands tall and upright," I said.

He suddenly slammed on the brakes, and I quickly grabbed his waist, but still ended up slamming my face into his back. I covered my nose, feeling both pain and soreness, and tears welled up in my eyes.

My uncle turned to look at me with a strange expression, paused for a few seconds, and said, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" He gently tapped my face a few times. "...You found out my real name...I was a little scared." He glanced at my shoulder with a defiant look on his face.

Ever since Huang'e transformed into some kind of golden-winged roc, she's become very fond of sleeping, but also more fearless. Now she's not even afraid of her uncle. Despite her fearlessness, she's very obedient, remaining silent and simply perched on my shoulder, watching me intently.

He pressed those points a few times, and the pain and soreness subsided. "...I really don't know, I just had this feeling," I told him very carefully.

He asked again and again, making sure that no one had told him, not even Huang E.

"...You have no talent, but you have excellent perception." Uncle smiled. "Knowing a person's real name gives you a weapon to harm that person."

“I also know Shuo’s real name.” I suddenly felt a little unhappy. “But I would never say anything to hurt Shuo or you. My real name is Lin Jian Xun Feng.”

I guessed he was startled; his mouth was slightly open, and he stared at me blankly. "You shouldn't have told others your real name so casually."

“You and Shuo are not strangers.” I rubbed my still slightly sore nose. “She recognized my real name at a glance. I don’t see anything wrong with entrusting my real name to you.”

That feeling of being protected and sheltered returned. My uncle pressed my head down, "My master gave me the real name Su Baizi."

This time, it was my turn to be terrified. My uncle usually signed his letters to me with the name of his ancestral hall, "Rendetang Jushi" (仁德堂居士). People like him, who spend their days slaying demons and dealing with heretics, need to be very careful about keeping their real names. But he trusted me so much that he gave his name to a sorcerer.

Even Huang E stared wide-eyed, shrinking back in deep fear and trembling.

"Uncle, Uncle..." I stammered, "You...you...you shouldn't...you shouldn't have...that..."

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with entrusting my real name to you.” He leisurely started the engine and drove me to school again.

I don't know what to do with such a valuable gift.

***

He asked me to take him to see the school, so I took him to find the old man first. He was very polite, and the old man responded very respectfully.

Actually, I didn't know what was worth visiting, so I took him to a corner I often frequented, and we repaired the altar while we were there.

Some people might find this strange—what kind of altar is worth repairing? But what I really learned from Shuo was "gratitude."

We humans live in this world, and every blade of grass, every flower, every fruit, and all things in heaven and earth have nourished us materially or spiritually. Besides the various sentient beings that can speak and have consciousness, there is also "nature," which cannot speak but exists silently.

In some quiet corners, I will stack a few stones, offer a blade of grass or a flower, or some other little stone that I find cute.

It's not that offering such an altar will guarantee peace; it's not that simple. It's simply a form of "gratitude," thanking all things for being willing to coexist with us.

This is probably the most complete thing I've learned from what Shuo taught me.

(I'm bound to be seen as a weirdo...)

The uncle kept laughing, "...Did Black Moon tell you about this location?"

I shook my head. "Is something wrong?"

"All religions return to their origin..." He laughed for a while, "You do have a very keen sense." He squatted down and drew circles on the altar I had haphazardly placed, pointing out how to arrange it better, seemingly casually chatting with me about "feng shui stones".

…Can you teach me this? I stared wide-eyed.

But I... am really happy. Even if it's just a case of loving someone because of them, I'm really, really happy. Although what I'm learning is really strange, it's like what I've always longed for—elders caring for me and teaching me.

It felt like I had stolen a moment to spend with my "dad".

"You..." Uncle hesitated for a moment, "Still don't want to get rid of the root of the problem? Letting it fester will only lead to more trouble..."

The entire desolate area tensed up.

“Uncle,” I whispered, “please don’t ask that question again. I’ll never get rid of my illness, she’s my only…”

Huang E couldn't stand it any longer and immediately fled far away.

“But I really want to take you as my apprentice.” He sat down on the stone bench, hesitated for a moment, and I sat down next to him, feeling a little embarrassed.

I was a little afraid he would move away, but my uncle moved closer to me.

In that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotions. "...Sometimes when I'm sick and in pain, I want to get rid of the 'root cause' of the illness," I admitted. "But I have nothing left but her. Uncle, I'm so grateful to you..."

I couldn't speak; I choked.

I'm so close to Tang Chen, but he was only "kept" by my side during college. Since I left a mark on his clothes, most of his misfortunes have been averted. After graduation, when he marries Miss Lioness, he'll have someone to take care of him.

Our connection only lasted during our university years.

My uncle treated me well only because of Tang Chen. Now that Tang Chen and I have drifted apart, he has no reason to care about me so much. Let alone the fact that I can't sever ties with Huang'e, even if I did, to become his disciple, without that connection with Tang Chen… I really don't want to personally verify whether my uncle will treat me the same way again.

That's the kind of person Shuo is. Whether I'm here or not, it doesn't matter. I can't possibly shamelessly cling to her side; she's much happier and more carefree without me.

The Diamond Sutra says: All conditioned phenomena are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, shadows, dew, and lightning; thus should you contemplate them.

All relationships in the world follow this law, and the only exception for me is the root of my illness, which is desolation.

I was fully aware of the situation intellectually, but emotionally I was wailing. I covered my mouth, desperately trying to hold back my tears, but when my uncle gently pressed my head down, I finally broke down in tears.

“Poor, poor child…” he murmured.

This made me completely lose control, and I burst into tears.

When my uncle took me home that day, I had calmed down, except for a little red in my eyes. I stammered an apology, and he waved his hand. "Why are you being so polite with me? I've even given you my real name."

I listlessly went upstairs, and Huang E turned to look at me. He didn't say anything, just curled up on the bed, hugging his knees.

“…Why don’t you just become a monster with me?” she suddenly said. “What’s so good about being human? Seven emotions and six desires, so much suffering and torment. Although I hate having multiple evil birds sharing my territory… but if it’s you, I can barely tolerate it.”

I was startled by her, stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter through my tears. Goodness, this was the most tenderness Huang'e could muster. But my previous doubts were also resolved because of this.

"...Huang'e, you don't actually need to wait for me to be born, do you?"

Her face turned deathly pale, then flushed red. She pounced on me, flapping her wings wildly. "What nonsense are you spouting! Who said that? Was it that damned Taoist priest? There's no such thing! You can't just believe whatever people say! You think you can get rid of me? No way!"

"Are you trying to get yourself killed? You slapped me all over with dust!" I tried to shove her away, but she kept yelling and shouting.

She kept nagging all night, insisting that she couldn't be independent and that I should hurry up and get Tang Chen into bed so that I would want to kill him after we got married.

I just laughed and didn't want to reply to her.

By sheer accident, Huang E managed to forge a Golden-Winged Roc... It should be able to stand on its own now, right? It doesn't need a useless host like me at all.

But she wouldn't let me know.

Yes, my life is just like my real name, drifting aimlessly in the forest breeze. But above the wind, there is a bird of ill omen, made of black mist with golden edges on its wings, flying with the wind.

My life is still quite interesting.

On the third day, when my uncle came to see me, Huang E was acting out of character; his fighting spirit was about to burst through the top of his head.

She yelled at her uncle, "You damned old man, stop spouting nonsense and misleading the public! You think Hengzhi is easily swayed and just say all sorts of nonsense to her... If you keep talking nonsense, I won't be polite! Hey, don't think you can get away with pretending to be deaf, speak up!"

…I'm deaf in one ear, how could I be so easily swayed? You're speaking with such great conviction, why are you trembling incessantly?

For the first time, her uncle looked at her directly, a half-smile on his face. "Oh? What did I say to Hengzhi?"

Seeing that things weren't going well, I quickly tried to comfort her, "It's okay, it's okay, I told you it's okay... By the way, I wonder if some mountain monsters went to the school and damaged a few of my altars."

"What? A monster dares to cause trouble on my turf?" Her focus was immediately diverted. "Don't you even respect me, you bastard!"

It blew away like a gust of wind. I shrugged, and my uncle laughed.

"It is indeed different from the Fiery Bird I know," he said tactfully.

Shuo chuckled, "It's rare to see a ferocious bird with such a strong human touch." She brought over a pot of herbal tea, "You two have some. I'd like to have a vegetarian meal for lunch today, you can stay and eat with us too. Hengzhi's health isn't very robust from running around outside all the time." She winked at me.

I gave a few bitter laughs. Yesterday when I came back, I was fighting with Huang E when I saw Uncle Shi standing outside the door. Shuo leaned against the door and talked to him for a long time before Uncle Shi took his leave.