I put the gold 1 into the car, and then I saw that the 911 really turned into a driverless car and sped off towards the hospital.
I found a public phone and told Ru Hua, "I knocked your young master Jin unconscious. You need to take people to the Central Hospital to save him right now." After going around in circles for so long, the final solution to save Jin Shaoyan was still my original plan: a brick.
And so, I saw Jin Shaoyan off. By the time I walked down the street, I was already a millionaire with a net worth of 5 million.
Chapter Thirty-Five: Just Wait
I'm finally a millionaire now! I'm floating along, and as I pass a soy milk stall, I can't help but think of that joke about "when we're rich." When we're rich, I'll keep two emperors, one Qin Shi Huang and one Han Gaozu; when we're rich, I'll keep two heroes, one Jing Ke and one Xiang Yu; when we're rich, I'll keep two women, one for nighttime use and one for daytime viewing. Sigh, the one for nighttime use looks a bit hard to understand—the one with the steamed bun design should be obsolete, right?
Now there's another problem: Jin Shaoyan, whom I knocked down. I wonder what he'll do to me when he wakes up. He seems to have a clean record and shouldn't have any ties to the underworld. But I'm worried he might sue me for "assault" or something similar. These crimes can be serious or minor, and if the Jin family pulls the strings, I could easily get ten or eight years in prison. Then, my acquaintances 300 and 54, plus Baozi, will line up to visit me. I'll basically be seeing new faces every day for a year. I'm just afraid the prison won't allow it.
Thinking of those 300 people, my heart sank even further. It suddenly dawned on me that the 5 million I painstakingly earned was only enough for their living expenses for a year. Half of that would be spent on food alone; measured by the Engel index, they were barely scraping by. If they were lucky, they might have a few thousand left by the end of the year, enough for me to take a trip to Tiananmen Square with steamed buns.
Thinking of this, I couldn't hesitate any longer, I couldn't delay any longer! I rushed into a second-hand mobile phone store—I had to immediately notify Baozi and the others to evacuate from the hotel, because once it was past noon, it would be another day!
When the shop owner saw someone come in, he asked me, "Sir, what kind of phone would you like? A candybar? A flip phone? A rotary phone?"
I said eagerly, "The cheapest one." My old phone had already been given to the new rural girl working at their shop by the kind-hearted Baozi, and all I had left was 200 yuan. 200 yuan is a classic number, a valuable lesson I've learned from life. With 200 yuan, you can buy cigarettes, you don't have to worry about being thirsty or hungry, you can even treat an old female classmate to a decent meal if you run into her, and the biggest advantage is that you won't feel too bad if it gets stolen, and you won't panic if you're robbed.
The shop owner glanced at my clothes, took out a brand new Nokia phone starting with the number 6, and said, "This is our best-selling model. It's very cost-effective. That guy only used it for two days. Here you go, 1600 yuan."
I said, "Just give me the cheapest one, I don't have time to waste with your nonsense."
The shopkeeper had no choice but to pull out another motorcycle, the V8: "This one is 600."
"Take the cheaper one again!"
The shopkeeper rolled his eyes, threw a Lenovo PLC on the counter, and said, "If you only need it for a few days, use this one. But I'm warning you beforehand, this machine receives signals intermittently throughout the day. 300."
"Get the cheaper one next time."
The boss glanced at me and said lazily, "You're here to cause trouble, aren't you?"
...
Finally, I managed to persuade the shop owner to sell me their prized possession for 100 yuan. This phone has a petite and exquisite design, a sleek silver-gray casing, a powerful antenna, and even comes with a free phone charm that looks like a platinum ring. According to the owner, it boasts an ultra-long standby time of 72 hours. Due to the designer's unique design philosophy, it doesn't currently support Bluetooth, but it does have a headphone jack (headphones can be purchased separately), and it has a rich history—it's not much younger than me.
It's a blue screen phone whose age is hard to tell.
After calling Baozi, I wandered around for a while. I thought about taking a taxi but felt it wasn't worth it. There weren't any motorcycle taxis available yet, and by the time I found one, I was almost home.
Baozi and the others were already home. I rushed upstairs immediately, ran to my bed, and lifted my pillow—sure enough, there was a card (did your heart skip a beat?). I memorized the card number immediately; I couldn't afford to lose this 5 million yuan. I frantically ran through that set of numbers in my mind every 0.3 seconds, and even when Baozi asked me to call Liu Bang back for dinner, all I answered her with was a string of numbers.
What?! Where did Liu Bang go?! I realized then that Liu Bang wasn't in the house. However, it's understandable that a pseudo-manager with a monthly salary of 1400 would be blinded by the prospect of 5 million, and judging from Baozi's tone, it didn't seem far off. I asked around and learned that Liu Bang was addicted to playing cards and had been sent by Baozi to the senior activity center on the street to play mahjong. I rushed over and saw Liu Bang sitting between two ladies, opposite Grandpa Zhao from our street. The two old ladies looked stern, while Grandpa Zhao was chatting and laughing. Looking at Liu Bang's pocket, it was stuffed full of small bills, with a few one- or two-yuan notes here and there—he must have won quite a bit. I said, "Brother Liu, come home for dinner."
Before Liu Bang could speak, Grandpa Zhao said with a smile, "We can't leave yet, he's won seven or eight yuan from us."
I dumped a bunch of small change on the table and let them take it themselves, then grabbed Liu Bang and started to walk out. Liu Bang struggled and turned back, saying, "Consider this my greeting gift to you, brothers and sisters. Next time, let's play with blood." This scene reminded me so much of how my dad used to drag me out of the arcade!
As I stepped outside, I said dejectedly, "Brother Liu, you were once an emperor in Chinese history, and you're here trying to win an old lady's grocery money? Do you really think that's meaningful?"
Liu Bang said aggrievedly, "Then why are you criticizing me? I thought this would be fun, but it's just so-so. Squeezing into a sedan chair to watch tigers bite deer, living in a big but cold house, the food is okay, but I got tired of it after a while. The women are all vulgar except for the fact that they wear little, and even the steamed buns are pretty but you won't let me touch them. The only good thing is that I have more time than before. What else can I do if I don't play cards?"
I said, "You can't keep winning against them. Those two old ladies are on welfare."
Liu Bang said, "Then I'll lose a couple of rounds occasionally. Actually, I just enjoy seeing them lose money. We're not short of money, are we?"
Look at how he uses "I" and "we"—it's far more expressive than what an undergraduate student in Chinese language and literature could do. I'd give him a share of my 5 million for that one word. Liu Bang was a man whose life could be summed up in four words: wine, women, wealth, and anger.
Lunch was again prepared by Baozi; the cheerful sounds of chopping vegetables and sizzling oil hitting the pan could be heard from far away. Coming from a humble background, Baozi treated the events of the past few days as a dream—a dream she had simply woken up from. She had never imagined she could actually be a princess—if such an ugly princess existed in the world. If she had been born in the early Han Dynasty, she might have been an empress.
To my relief, apart from Li Shishi's somewhat downcast mood, the other members of the group of five seemed perfectly comfortable returning from the luxurious hotel to their cramped pawnshop. As Liu Bang summarized, it was just a large, cold house to them—houses they'd all lived in before, and now, with so many people crammed together, they found it novel and peaceful. In Qin Shi Huang's words, this was the only place where he didn't have to worry about the person sleeping next to him harming him (if Cao Cao came, he would definitely have to prepare a private room for him). Except for Xiang Yu's extreme contempt for Liu Bang, the group of five got along remarkably well.
In short, they have a great attitude. Actually, I'm the same way; I have 5 million in assets, yet I still use a phone with a blue screen, don't I?
As for Li Shishi, I don't know what she's thinking. Is she genuinely fond of Jin Shaoyan, or is she just feeling a bit lost because she's suddenly lost her support? She'll probably be fine in a few days.
Now I at least have some money, so all I have to do is think about the future. If the police don't come knocking on my door in the next two or three days, I'll have to find a place to stay that costs 300.
Chapter Thirty-Six: Xiaoqiang's Fart Shakes the Heavens and Earth
The next few days were tough for me because the police were slow to show up. Tell me, if someone has 5 million, should they put their left hand out first or their right hand when being handcuffed? Should they stand tall and righteous in front of the camera, or be dragged around by both sides like a trident, confessing and submitting to the law? What if Xiang Yu attacked the police?
The main problem is that in recent years, apart from going to the police station once to apply for my second-generation ID card, I haven't really delved into the inner workings of detention centers, so I don't know much about the atmosphere there anymore. I don't even know if a tough, ruthless approach is in vogue now; I don't want to suffer the consequences after I'm inside.
I waited and waited, but no one came. Every day I went to the street corner with my hands in my sleeves, hoping for a police car. Finally, one day two people in uniform walked towards me. It turned out they were two train attendants asking for directions.
I tried to contact Jin Shaoyan once. Such a good brother, just left like that, without even leaving a trace of his memory of me? But the phone was no longer reachable, and when I called Ru Hua's office, no one answered.
Logically speaking, whether it's Jin 1 or Jin 2 in Jin Shaoyan's body, the first thing he should think of after waking up is me. Could it be that I made this kid lose his memory again?
Since the police aren't coming, I guess I'll just have to keep living my life.
Because of waiting for the police, I haven't dared to go far these past few days, lest people think I'm fleeing to avoid punishment. So, finding accommodation for 300 people has been delayed. Of course, so many people can't stay in hotels; firstly, they're expensive, and secondly, newly arrived clients are prone to causing trouble. They're like toddlers, full of energy and curiosity. You can't scold, criticize, or even hit them for unintentional mistakes—especially with this group of clients!
Putting them in hotels and getting fake IDs would cost a lot of money, and with so many people in the city, what if they get hit by a car? What if they get beaten up by the urban management officers, or beat up the urban management officers? What if it happens during a population census?
I really want to find a black coal mine, the kind that never sees the light of day and employs thugs to drive workers like slaves to dig coal. With these 300 special forces soldiers, taking over that coal mine would be a piece of cake. Just stuff the coal boss into the mine, and you're all set! Unfortunately, all the black coal mines I can find have already been taken over and exposed by the armed police.
May some kind soul passing by take pity on me and grant me a black coal mine!
Another option is to go to Shennongjia to live among the wild people or to protect the hunt in Hoh Xil. The survival ability of this field unit should not be a problem. Each person is given two tubes of compressed biscuits, a bottle of mineral water, and a fruit knife. I estimate that in a month or two, the poachers in Hoh Xil will be more precious than Tibetan antelopes.
And then there are the 54 heroes. The exact list isn't out yet, but based on their ranking, those who come are definitely characters who have appeared countless times in the book. Characters like Wu Song, Hua Bu, Shang Yang, and Lin Chong are probably all there. Liu Laoliu explicitly told me: Song Jiang isn't included. Not having Song Jiang is even more troublesome. As the saying goes, a cowardly general leads to a cowardly army. Without that good-for-nothing to lead them, and with these guys being prone to rebellion, they're going to be a nightmare! There are two mountains on the outskirts of our city, but those are tourist attractions that charge admission. If these guys take them over, we're in for a missile attack. And their love of drinking is a problem. Leaving aside whether they'll cause trouble, I can't stand them drinking 5.5 yuan worth of Sanliangye like water. They also like to smash bowls after drinking. Erliyao has been struggling these past two years; their arrival is like a boost to the economy!
I'm worried, I'm depressed, I'm constantly frowning, and I'm pulling out strands of my hair.