He Tiandou shrugged: "He got his comeuppance."
I abruptly moved far away from him and said, "Won't you get struck by lightning?" I suddenly remembered what Liu Laoliu had told me—that He Tiandou was about to be punished by heaven. It seemed that wasn't entirely a joke. It's said that I was also struck by lightning in my past life. I felt that two people who attract lightning so much should stay far apart, otherwise, it might be difficult to explain if the wrong person gets struck.
He Tiandou smiled and waved to me, saying, "Don't be nervous. We've already suffered divine retribution. If we get struck by lightning again, it'll be because you dragged me down with you."
I held my phone and looked at him. He Tiandou said, "Sit down. Ask me anything, but don't use mind-reading on me, or you'll definitely be blacklisted. My divine status is still intact, and your little gadgets won't work."
I asked, "Who attacked you?"
"I don't know. They had guns and just barged in."
"Aren't you a deity? How come you're in such a sorry state?"
He Tiandou sighed, "Not to mention that my magic power is less than one-tenth of what it used to be, even Liu Laoliu wouldn't be able to easily take action in such a situation. That's the way of Heaven. So I could only hide and watch them rush in."
I asked, "Did you take my antiques?" Since we had just met, we didn't know where to begin, so I just asked the question that concerned me the most.
"Yes, it's me."
I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "What do you want? When do you plan to return them to me?"
He Tiandou said, "I was just joking with you. It doesn't matter whether these things are with you or with me. But they were stolen 10 minutes ago."
I gasped and said, "It was those bastards, Goodbai, who did it!"
Who is Goodbai?
I gave him a strange look, wondering if he was playing dumb. I explained Goodbait and the Mafia to him, and finally asked, "Haven't you ever messed with these people before?"
He Tiandou shook his head and said, "I am a deity, how could I be associated with these people—I know who they are."
"Who is it? Oh right, don't you have a bodyguard who can scale walls and leap across rooftops?"
"It might be him. We haven't met for a long time."
"So who exactly is he? How did he get involved with the Mafia?"
He Tiandou thought for a moment and said, "He is the legendary thief and assassin Kongkong'er. I helped him regain his memories when he was very young, and he has been following me all these years. I was the one who sent him to your pawnshop to get all those treasures. But after I was demoted to the mortal realm, it's not so easy to understand many things. After I got those things from you, if I want to know who your friends are and what dynasty they come from, I can only find someone to help me appraise those things. It's very likely that I'll run into trouble at this stage."
I slapped my thigh and yelled, "How could you be so foolish? How can you just show those things to anyone? I don't care, you're the one who lost them, you're responsible for getting them back. The other side is the Mafia, I heard they smear handprints on well-lit places before their operations, and I can't stand the idea of them shooting me in the back."
He Tiandou said nonchalantly, "Getting the stuff back is a small matter. But don't think you can get away with it. I don't believe they don't know you live next door to me. They probably think we're in cahoots, so they robbed me for the treasure and to threaten you. If you can't come up with something better, you might be the next one attacked."
I waved my hand and said, "What did I do to deserve this? Where did your Kongkong go? Could it be that he betrayed you?"
He Tiandou said, "Probably not."
I said, "Now let's talk about the antiques. How do you plan to get them back? This is the biggest trouble you've caused me. Oh, right, don't you have some medicine? Give Goode one. Maybe he was Socrates or Aristotle in his past life, someone who only seeks truth and doesn't love money."
He Tiandou said, "I've said before that this is nothing. Do you really think a few mortals with guns can fight against gods? So the biggest problem isn't the Mafia or antiques."
I quickly asked, "What is that?"
He Tiandou looked me up and down, then suddenly said, "Could you put on some clothes before you talk to me?"
I looked down and said, "I'm not cold." Although I was only wearing briefs, the heating in the house was very good. My brother Xiaoqiang used to sleep naked, but since his assets reached tens of millions, he started wearing underwear to sleep.
He Tiandou sighed, "I really didn't expect them to choose someone who never wears pajamas to take over my shift."
Chapter Fifty-Four: The Donkey of Guizhou
After hearing He Tiandou's last words, I couldn't help but ask, "What successor?"
He Tiandou waved his hand and said, "It's not time to tell you yet."
Just then, the phone rang abruptly. I saw it was another unknown number. I answered, and Gu Debai said on the other end, "Mr. Xiao..."
"We'll talk about it tomorrow!" I hung up before he could finish. I pointed at the phone and said to He Tiandou, "This is your business." Considering this old man in front of me was, after all, a god, I didn't take the Mafia seriously at all.
He Tiandou said, "Find me a place to sleep first, we can talk about other things tomorrow."
"Hey, you're acting like a big shot now. Don't forget how you used to go against me."
He Tiandou laughed and said, "I've already gone easy on you. If I really wanted to kill you, I would have resurrected Li Shizhen long ago."
I asked curiously, "What's wrong with reviving Li Shizhen?"
"I'll put poison in your food and let Bian Que and Li Shizhen fight it out to see who can save you. Whoever loses will die. I really want to see what your expression will be then."
I said with a dark face, "What kind of deity did you do before? How could you be so cruel? You were the one who threw Pigsy into the pigsty, weren't you?"
I led him to Xiang Yu's room, pointed to an empty bed and said, "You'll have to make do here for the night. This is Qin Shi Huang's bed."
He Tiandou glanced at Xiang Yu, who, in his sleep, turned over, perhaps uncomfortable with the light. I said, "It's alright, this is Xiang Yu, not Cao Cao. He probably doesn't kill much in his dreams."
He Tiandou smiled and said, "Thank you. Do you have any pajamas?"
"No—actually, just wearing underwear is quite comfortable. Why don't you give it a try?"
He Tiandou sighed, paused for a moment, and said, "Never mind, just find me a book and I'll make do with it for a while."
I never expected there to be someone like this, unable to sleep without pajamas. I rolled my eyes and said, "What book do you want to read?"
"Do you have The Divine Comedy? Preferably in Latin."
I tossed a children's edition of "Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio" into his lap and said, "Read some professional books. What's the point of always focusing on other people's trivial matters?"