Liu Laoliu coaxed me, saying, "You're both Grand Tutor and Duke of Anguo, what more could you want? You've reached the pinnacle of power."
Indeed, I honestly can't think of anyone in history more powerful than me, holding the highest positions across generations, being both a king and a duke. My wife, Baozi, was even the King of Zheng and Grand Marshal of the Qin Dynasty. But what good does it do? Even if Yao and Shun came to me vying to abdicate in my favor, would I really gain any benefit?
I grabbed Liu Laoliu and said, "Stop talking nonsense. People who hold the highest positions are second only to the emperor and above thousands of others. I haven't seen anyone above thousands of others yet. I'm only just realizing it now. The damn principal is suddenly below many people in front of me. If you don't pay me my salary soon, I'll throw you into a gay bar and let you experience what it's like to be below many people."
What angers me most is that not only do they not pay my wages, but they also count the work I did as a bonus. It's like a ticket seller not only not getting paid at the end of the month, but also having to pay for 30 days' worth of tickets – it's outrageous!
Liu Laoliu pulled my hand away and said, "You'll understand my good intentions sooner or later."
Chapter Seventy: Thinking of Xiang Yu to This Day
I spat on the ground and said, "Pah, if you keep exploiting me, I'm quitting."
Liu Laoliu chuckled and said, "You hate me now, but you'll have your day later—Kangxi will be here in a few days, so get ready to receive him."
I wondered, "Why not Nurhaci?" Because of the four who came from this country, most of them were the founding emperors of their respective nations. Although Li Shimin was not the founding emperor, he was the one who built the foundation of the Tang Dynasty. As for Genghis Khan, needless to say, without this old man there would be no Kublai Khan.
Liu Laoliu said, "Haven't you noticed that I always try my best to give you the best? The country was much stronger during the Kangxi era."
"What are you up to, you old bastard?"
Liu Laoliu said with a gloomy face, "You are increasingly lacking in basic respect for your superiors."
I said, "You got off easy. Without the word 'egg,' you'd be a generation older."
Liu Laoliu said angrily, "I'm leaving!"
I grabbed him and said, "Pay back the money! You owe me several thousand."
Liu Laoliu immediately put on a pitiful look and said with a forced smile, "Can't we brothers talk things out properly? At worst, I'll give you two more emperors next time."
I yelled, "Bullshit! I care less about being an emperor!" The four bosses at the table immediately glared at me...
Liu Laoliu pleaded, "How about this, I'll send you the Four Beauties after Baozi gets pregnant."
I thought about it for a moment and said decisively, "No!"
Let's count the four beauties: First, Diao Chan is out of the question; after all, she was Er Pang's wife in a past life, and one shouldn't mess with a friend's wife. Wang Zhaojun, in a sense, is a heroine who contributed to national peace. Xi Shi is the worst; it's said she ran off with Fan Li, the richest man at the time. Would a woman like that stay faithful without luxury cars and villas? Finally, there's Yang Yuhuan. Putting aside the Tang Dynasty's aesthetic of valuing plumpness, doesn't Yang Yuhuan's armpits smell like cumin...?
Liu Laoliu probably used mind-reading abilities on me, and immediately changed his tune, saying, "Then I'll send you Su Daji, Bao Si, and Zhao Feiyan. They're all alluring little vixens, hehe."
This time, I waved my hand without thinking and said, "Then you can go. You don't need to pay back the money."
Liu Laoliu: "..."
After the old swindler left, I called Wang Yin and asked him to pick us up in the school bus. A taxi wouldn't be big enough, and this would seem more formal; what emperor hires a carriage when he travels?
I returned to my seat and chatted with the emperors for a while. Although these were all emperors, they were basically self-made elites, and now that they had changed environments, they were unpretentious and all very talkative. Li Shimin was quick-witted and magnanimous, and left-handed (for the true historical prototype, please refer to official history, if this is true). Zhao Kuangyin was relatively silent, but often hit the nail on the head. Through casual conversation, I learned that Old Zhao was not actually of humble origin; his father was a soldier with considerable power. Genghis Khan was cheerful and forthright, but not without cunning; he seemed like a reliable elder brother. Only Zhu Yuanzhang was somewhat incoherent, shifting his position in his chair and constantly looking at me. I asked with concern, "What's wrong, Brother Ba Ba, do you also have hemorrhoids?"
Zhu Yuanzhang hesitated and asked, "Um, let me ask you something, did my Great Ming Dynasty continue to exist after that?"
So that's what you were thinking about. The people present were all from different generations; the other three, though knowing their empires had been lost to their descendants, were at peace with themselves. Only Zhu Yuanzhang, a newcomer, seeing no one responding to his words, still thought his Ming Dynasty was an invincible force. Couldn't he tell whether it was still in power or not? There wasn't a single eunuch among those with the character "厂" (factory/factory) in their names.
To avoid upsetting Zhu Yuanzhang, I said tactfully, "A man named Kangxi will be coming in a few days. You can ask him about these matters. But you must learn from those three, so don't get angry."
Zhu Yuanzhang's expression changed, and he finally sighed, "It seems my Ming Dynasty couldn't be preserved either. Alas, why can't there be a dynasty that lasts for ten thousand years?"
Li Shimin laughed and said, "People call us Emperor Long Live, so the people at this table add up to 40,000 years old. But actually, living that long isn't necessarily interesting."
I added, "Add to that my age of 49,000—I'm still a king of equal rank in the Han Dynasty."
Then these four emperors (Genghis Khan could be considered one too) started lamenting about this and that, saying how tiring and worrisome it was to be an emperor, just like chatting with four high-ranking officials.
A short while later, Wang Yin arrived in his car. I introduced him to him, but Wang Yin only nodded to Genghis Khan. It seemed he wasn't interested in the emperor either. This wasn't surprising, as Fang La and his group were all prone to rebellion in their past lives. From this perspective, Wang Yin and Zhao Kuangyin had a minor grudge against each other.
On the way, Wang Yin told me, "Brother Xiang Yu went back to school late last night, then left the carriage, mounted his horse, and rode away."
I hurriedly asked, "Did he say anything?"
"No, he borrowed some money from us and left, saying he left a note for you in the car," Wang Yin said, handing me the car keys.
"He didn't say where he was going?"
"No."
After Xiang Yu escorted Zhang Bing home last night, why didn't he go home? What did he do riding that rabbit?
Li Shimin patted me on the back and said, "Is Xiang Yu the same Xiang Yu who was the Hegemon-King of Western Chu?"
I said, "Yes, that one."
Zhu Yuanzhang lamented, "Even now, I think of Xiang Yu, who refused to cross the Yangtze River. Back then, I only said that the King of Chu was a bit narrow-minded. Why didn't he rise again after his defeat? Now, I see that it wasn't such a bad move after all. Life is short, only a few decades, and in the end, it's all for naught." As expected of someone who had been a monk, Zhu Yuanzhang, reborn as a human, was full of philosophical speculation.
Li Shimin reminisced: "Even now, I think of Xiang Yu, who refused to cross the Yangtze River. Who wrote this? It has quite a bit of spirit."
Zhu Yuanzhang pointed at Zhao Kuangyin and said, "It seems that people from Zhao's time said that I am really not very good at poetry."
As Wang Yin drove, he said, "Li Qingzhao said that this person was a woman, and there are two more lines before that."
Li Shimin asked with great interest, "Oh, how are the other two lines written?"
Wang Yin: "...I forgot."
Li Shimin looked at me with an inquiring gaze. I scratched my head and said, "Isn't there a saying, 'A head falls off and leaves a scar the size of a bowl'? Hehe, I'm sorry to disappoint Your Majesty, but the prime minister you appointed isn't very learned."
Li Shimin sighed and said, "When we get there, find me a few books to read by myself."