I kept swaying on my horse and said, "Brother Yu, not only can you not make Tang swords now, but you'd better not make small things like stirrups either, as that could easily change history."
Xiang Yu said, "I'm practically a time traveler, wouldn't it be too pathetic if I didn't create something?"
I said, "Let's get people involved first. You and your sister-in-law are so loving, how come you haven't given Baozi's family a few more ancestors? If all else fails, I'll give you An Daoquan's secret recipe?"
Xiang Yu: "...You should keep it."
I went to the car and started taking off my clothes one by one. Xiang Yu asked in confusion, "What are you doing?"
"Whether I can take it back or not, I dare not take anything else from here back. By the way, your golden armor is still with me, I'll bring it to you next time I come."
Xiang Yu scratched his head and said, "Really, I noticed he was missing a few days ago. I thought A Yu had lost him."
I stripped off my clothes, expertly wrapped the blanket around my waist, pinched my crotch with one hand and waved to Xiang Yu with the other, saying, "Brother Yu, I'm leaving now. Please forgive me for not being able to give you a full bow due to my armor."
Xiang Yu smiled, jumped off the rabbit, and looked at me somewhat bewildered. He hadn't come up with any farewell words even after I got into the car. I slowly started the car, and finally saw Xiang Yu standing on a high place, waving slowly at me, looking utterly alone, as he receded into the distance. A sudden, inexplicable pang of sadness struck me. Even heroes feel the pain of parting… What, I'm not a hero? Running away from an army of 100,000 with a smile isn't heroic?
This time, I entered the Timeline in a short distance. As soon as the colors started to change, I immediately turned up the speed. I reflected on my experience and realized that I actually had enough fuel for the trip to the Qin Dynasty. It was my fault for getting distracted by the scenery and wasting a lot of fuel. This car uses more fuel when driving slowly. Fortunately, driving in the Timeline was relatively economical, consuming just over 5 liters per 100 kilometers.
After a journey of more than nine hours, I'm finally back. When I parked my car in front of my house, it felt like a lifetime had passed. But to be honest, being back wasn't all that great. First of all, the air was really hard to get used to; it felt like I'd been thrown into a pot. I'm not used to an environment and air that stretches as far as the eye can see. Secondly, although it's already spring here, it's still quite cold in northern cities. In the past, you weren't bound by temperature, and now, with only a blanket covering my key areas, I'm already feeling the chill. I opened the car door, ready to rush home, when I saw a group of people walking towards me from behind my house. They were being led by a saleswoman on a tour of the villa area, pointing and commenting on the houses and artificial hills on both sides.
Seeing this, I quickly retreated back into the car. Although the other party didn't notice my disheveled appearance, they did notice someone was in the car. A couple ran towards me like they'd found a treasure. I heard the woman say, "Hey sir, we heard only two houses have been sold here, so it seems you're the one. We'd like to ask about your personal experience. What's it like here? After all, we can't just listen to the saleswoman..." The woman had already reached my car when she saw me sitting naked inside, casually resting one hand on the window. She immediately blushed and turned away.
Her husband saw me too, but he was more composed. He came to my car, glanced inside, and asked with his hands behind his back, "What's this...?"
I tapped the car door with my finger and said casually, "Oh, I'm a winter swimming enthusiast." I even made a gesture of shaking water out of my ear. The man's eyes lit up immediately, and he turned to the saleswoman and asked, "Is swimming allowed in your artificial lake?"
Saleswoman: "...Uh, okay, I guess."
The man reached his hand through the window and said to me, "Nice to meet you, I'm also a winter swimming enthusiast."
I just wanted them to leave quickly, so I forced a smile and said, "Nice to meet you, nice to meet you."
The man looked at the artificial lake that had just thawed, then at me, and said, "How about you give us a swim around it?"
...
In the evening, I sat on the sofa wrapped in a thick quilt, with a bowl of ginger soup that Baozi had made for me in front of me.
Although I didn't get to see the guy perform, I was still freezing. The guy was really excited as he left, saying he'd buy the house here so he'd have someone to swim with in the winter. The woman, however, disagreed, whispering to the guy, "I think that guy's a pervert, let's look somewhere else..."
Mulan looked at my disheveled state and asked with a smile, "Where did you come from?" I was naked when she opened the door for me; thank goodness she didn't tell Baozi.
Wu Sangui leaned close to me, sniffed hard, and said nervously, "I can smell the battlefield."
Baozi exclaimed, "You went to fight with someone? Where have you been these past few days? Your phone is out of service and you haven't called home at all."
I picked up the ginger soup, took two sips, and, sneezing through my nose, said, "Your husband, facing an army of thousands by himself, guess what? I just laughed it off, and the enemy's 100,000 troops were utterly routed..."
Baozi stamped his foot and said, "He's delirious from the fever. You guys watch him, I'll go get an ice towel."
After Baozi left, Wu Sangui pulled me aside and whispered, "Xiaoqiang, where have you been these past few days?"
I continued, still feeling a bit unsatisfied, "Let me tell you, Brother Yu is truly an amazing fighter. He fought against 100,000 with only 30,000 men, and the enemy didn't even have the strength to fight back—but he also said that was with my help."
Wu Sangui asked in surprise, "You really saw Brother Xiang?"
I let out a sigh of relief and said, "I'll tell you all about this, but don't tell Baozi yet, I'm afraid it will upset her. I really did see Brother Yu again..." I told them about the Human Realm Axis, and Wu Sangui suddenly exclaimed excitedly, "So... we can still go back?"
Hua Mulan interjected, "Not necessarily. Even if we can go back, we'll still have to drink that Meng Po soup. If Xiao Qiang hadn't come looking for us, we wouldn't have known we'd already died once."
Wu Sangui grabbed my hand excitedly and said, "Then..." But after saying that one word, he fell silent. After a long while, he said sadly, "Alas, then Xiaoqiang doesn't need to come looking for me anymore. There's nothing in my life worth cherishing, and nothing worth reliving."
Mulan also lamented, "Those who leave a little name in history, which one of them didn't go through a lifetime of hardship? If I had to live that kind of life for another 12 years, I'm really afraid I wouldn't be able to endure it."
I said with a dark face, "What do you mean? You mean you don't welcome me visiting your two homes?"
Hua Mulan and Wu Sangui exchanged a glance and chuckled, "It's best not to go. If you go to us, it means we're the ones causing you trouble."
Just then, Baozi rushed over carrying an ice towel, shouting, "Hurry, hurry, knock him down..."
You know what? The ice towel wrapped around Baozi's head made my brain exceptionally sharp. It suddenly occurred to me: most of these people will still follow their original paths after they go back. Unexpected events will certainly occur, but a person's character is the deciding factor. Take Xiang Yu, for example; he would never change his views on enemies and friends because of one or two accidental events. In other words, he would process the impact of unexpected events himself. From this, I've come to the conclusion that after dealing with Ersha and Fatty Ying, I basically won't have to run anymore.
The next day, with a head crystal clear from the shock, I went to find He Tiandou. Liu Laoliu was there too. It seemed these two old charlatans could easily reconcile once they made peace. I sat down on He Tiandou's sofa and said bluntly, "I didn't make it to the Qin Dynasty this time."
He Tiandou said, "We already know, and we're discussing it right now."
I held out my hand and said, "Give me a few more pills and I'll take care of this."
Liu Laoliu asked, "What do you plan to do?"
I said, "I've thought about it. I'll give the medicine to Jing Ke first. Qin Shi Huang is the emperor, so it'll be difficult for me to get close to him. As long as I give Jing Ke the medicine, it'll stop him from assassinating the fat man, right?"
He Tiandou smiled knowingly: "I'm afraid it won't be that easy."
I said, "I went mainly to save Jing Ke. Actually, even if we don't interfere, Fatty will most likely still be unharmed, right?"
He Tiandou shook his head repeatedly and said, "You forgot something. The dagger that Jing Ke used to assassinate Qin Shi Huang is still with you. It's an important prop. Of course, without it, Jing Ke might have used another dagger to assassinate Qin Shi Huang, or he might have used other methods or other weapons, but that's an extremely significant variable. Even if he used the exact same dagger as before to assassinate Qin Shi Huang, it's hard to say whether the result would be the same."
I broke out in a cold sweat: The first day Ersha came to my place, he asked me why his assassination attempt on Qin failed. I taught him to enlarge the scale of the Zhao state map and bring a long weapon inside. He wouldn't actually bring a halberd, would he?
He Tiandou smiled and said, "So, whether from a moral or responsibilities standpoint, you probably have to go on this trip."
I thought for a moment and said to Liu Laoliu, "I can go, but you have to modify the car for me. First, the clothes. Take this trip for example, there aren't many clothes in the National Museum that I can wear there—if I went back to the late Qing Dynasty, my great-grandfather left us a cricket bowl to cover myself up. But this won't do. You know how harsh the laws were in the Qin Dynasty. If you dumped some trash at the door, you'd get your hand chopped off. If I'm naked, even the police won't let me go. If I don't even see Qin Shi Huang, they'll castrate me—maybe that's how history changed. Wasn't the one who taught Qin Shi Huang how to draw his sword a eunuch? I was his predecessor! Also, the gas is never enough. Even if I fill it up, I won't be able to get back. I've calculated it. After the Qin Dynasty, the gas in the tank will only be enough for me to get to the Northern Wei Dynasty at most. If Sister Mulan doesn't go back, I won't even have a single acquaintance."
Liu Laoliu nodded vigorously and said, "It's my fault. I had no experience before and I overlooked these things. I'll put a sealing spell on your car in a bit, so nothing inside will be affected."
I was overjoyed! This meant I could become famous like a time-traveling middleman by cheating and swindling! Just imagine, even before Qin Shi Huang remembered who I was, I could simply place a disposable lighter in front of him and ask for a prefecture without any difficulty.