Ersha took the dagger, examined it, and then gestured on the large map he had brought, saying, "It's too short..."
I snatched the dagger, sliced the map in half horizontally, and tossed the other half aside, saying, "Isn't that enough?" Anyway, only Fatty and Ersha will be able to see this map, and no one will know if there's a pornographic scene drawn on it.
Ersha hid the dagger in the map, which was perfect. He then revealed his classic, cunning, foolish smile: "Xiaoqiang is so smart."
I turned to Fatty Ying: "Brother Ying, where's your magic sword?" Since Fatty was with us, he wasn't wearing his historically famous accessory. He ordered someone to fetch it. A short while later, the sword arrived. I looked at it—good heavens, it was as long as a hook from a clothing stall! Hanging on his waist looked like riding a donkey. It certainly looked impressive, but hadn't he ever thought about how to actually draw it?
I laughed and said, "Brother Ying, no offense, but why are you playing such a silly game?"
Qin Shi Huang chuckled and said, "Just showing off."
"Well, I'll teach you a method that looks cool and is also very useful—you break it in half and then insert it back in. No one will know normally, but you can use it as a machete if there's any danger!"
Qin Shi Huang glared at me and said, "Let's talk about the four matters!"
There's a reason why the fat man carries such a long sword. On one hand, it looks good and is impressive. On the other hand, it's to show off the country's strength. At that time, the smelting technology was so advanced that it was a national honor to create such a long weapon. It could fully demonstrate that the country had advanced technology and strong strength. Just like when leaders of various countries hold meetings now, others may ride in a nice car, but if you bring an autonomous driving vehicle, you'll have a lot more face.
I said, "Now, let's discuss all the factors, taking into account your experiences last time. Where should we start? Yes, let's start with the audience."
Qin Shi Huang said, "Tomorrow, have this 'ghost' wait outside the palace gate. See him as soon as it's light."
I waved my hand and said, "No, what I mean is to discuss the details first. There's no rush to meet in the next couple of days. You two are both unstable right now, and you might fall out at any moment. Can't we wait ten days or half a month before meeting again? By then, you two will be back to normal."
Ersha said, "This is bad. If we wait too long, Qin Wuyang will start to make wild guesses. He's here to help, but he's also here to keep an eye on me."
I frowned and said, "This guy's a problem. By the way, Ke Zi, has he seen the map you brought? Don't let him see you changed the map in the palace and then spread rumors outside." Qin Wuyang, being a native of Yan, should know the inside story since he came to assist Jing Ke in the assassination attempt on Qin Shi Huang. If he sees Jing Ke has changed weapons, he'll inevitably become suspicious, which will definitely damage Er Sha's reputation. If possible, I still hope to handle things as perfectly as possible.
Fatty Ying knew what I was thinking and said decisively, "Wai Si is a dead man, you don't need to worry about him."
I broke out in a cold sweat. Yes, Qin Wuyang entered the main hall and never came out again—isn't that a sign of death? Fatty's thinking is much more thorough. But then again, it's not that I'm slow-witted; my thinking can't compare to the emperor's. In my calculations, the concept of a dead person never even appeared…
I said, "Also, this person doesn't seem timid at all. Will he really be so timid and speechless when he goes to court? What if he presents the map together with Ke Zi?"
Ersha said, "Anyway, that's how it was last time. If it weren't for him..." Ersha suddenly asked me, "How's Xiao Zhao doing?" He probably thought of Gai Nie because his assistant wasn't doing well, and then he thought of Zhao Bailian. Gai Nie was in the same space as Jing Ke, so he wouldn't be hard to find later. But Zhao Bailian was different. Although they shared the same identity, they were still two flesh-and-blood people. And I think Ersha was closer to the latter Gai Nie. To learn such powerful swordsmanship, the first Gai Nie probably wouldn't have had time to lie on the ground watching ants with him...
Chapter Ninety-Seven Props
Actually, after Jing Ke left, I went to see Zhao Bailian. I have to say that the friendship and tacit understanding between fools is hard to understand. After he saw me, before I could even speak, he said indifferently, "That's his fate."
This statement is chilling. We know that there's only a fine line between a fool and a philosopher. Just as I was about to ask Zhao Bailian about the deeper meaning of his words, he had already taken a small stick and started scratching at the cracks in the wall, gradually walking away from me...
All I could say to Ersha was, "He's fine."
Gai Nie missed the second bus that Er Sha took for his second assassination attempt on Qin Shi Huang...
I said to Qin Shi Huang, "Brother Ying, there are a few more details. It seems there were a few people who helped you out of that predicament, right? Let's leave Zhao Gao aside; wasn't there another one who threw something at Ke Zi?"
Ersha immediately said, still holding a grudge, "That's right, an old man threw a stinky bag at me."
Qin Shi Huang laughed and said, "Xia Wuqie, that's a doctor."
Yes, a private healthcare provider for overweight people.
"What about the work of these two? Let's try to make it as realistic as possible."
Qin Shi Huang said, "You'll do it."
I asked in surprise, "I'll go?"
The fat man said, "You, when it's time to go, you'll be standing next to me."
Ersha probably didn't trust others, so he nodded and said, "I think it's okay."
I thought about it and it seemed like I could do the job. Anyway, Fatty would definitely be sober when he met Ersha, so I wasn't afraid of him turning on me. All I had to do was carry a bag and embarrass myself (why does that sound so awkward?), and then shout "Wang Fujian" (a famous swordsman in Chinese folklore). So I nodded in agreement.
Now comes the most important question. I focused my mind and said, "Brother Ying, let me see your sword."
Qin Shi Huang handed me the long sword. I fiddled with it for a bit before finally drawing it. The blade was cold and sharp, and I couldn't help but exclaim, "What a fine sword!"... Everyone knows that this is just a habitual thing for me to do; even if the sword isn't good, I still have to say it.
However, the fat man's sword was indeed extraordinary. The book only mentions that initially, the sword couldn't be drawn, but once it was, it immediately became a formidable weapon. The book says that the fat man, with the sword in hand, severed Jing Ke's leg in one swift motion, then inflicted eight severe wounds on Jing Ke. At that time, everyone else was still in a state of chaos, and the prince's warriors hadn't even arrived yet. This shows that the sword played a crucial role in turning the tide of the entire assassination attempt. Although described only briefly, its sharpness is evident; it must have been a legendary sword capable of cutting through iron like mud.
I've never actually seen anything that could cut iron like mud, but I've often seen things that could cut mud like iron. I took the longsword and clinked it against Ersha's dagger, and both swords were completely unharmed, showing that they were evenly matched and both incorporated the most advanced smelting technology of the time.
I said worriedly, "If you two are putting on an act, you absolutely can't use these two weapons, it's too dangerous!"
Fatty Ying said, "What should we do then?"
I stroked my chin and thought for a long time. This was a very serious problem, and also the most important prop and element in the entire performance. I weighed the things in my hands and said, "I'll modify these two swords for you—now, you two have to recreate the scene from back then for me, making sure you don't miss a single moment of the fight."
Ersha took the dagger and made a stabbing motion. Fatty Ying raised something to block it—this was the later Qin King's Tripod. Then Fatty started circling the pillar, with Ersha chasing after him, shouting. This was probably the most chaotic moment: Qin Shi Huang was escaping around the pillar, Jing Ke was in pursuit with his sword, and the ministers in the hall were in a panic. As the two ran, one after the other, Ersha suddenly stopped. Fatty circled around and came face to face with him. Ersha excitedly shouted, "Hey!"
I was shocked. If that had been the case back then, wouldn't the fat man have been in grave danger?
But then Fatty Ying looked rather confused. Suddenly, he kicked Ersha and said, "Hang up the skin, bring it back then."
I breathed a sigh of relief; it turned out to be Ersha acting silly. I snapped, "Kezi, stick to the original script!"
Suddenly, Qin Shi Huang twisted his long sword behind his back, drew it with a "snap" from his waist, and Er Sha, caught off guard, took a blow to his right leg. Of course, Qin Shi Huang didn't actually cut him down.
I was writing something on the ground with a calligraphy brush.
After the two stopped, I tucked the brush behind my ear, stood up, and said, "The front of Kezi's sword and the side of Ying Ge's longsword need to be processed. You won't mind grinding the blades flat, will you?"
I picked up both of their swords and rubbed them on the ground, creating a trench, but the blades didn't show any obvious change. After a while, I lost patience and threw them aside, saying, "We'll deal with that later. Now, there's one last question—how much blood did Kezi bleed during your fight?"
The two men looked at each other, and Fatty Ying pointed at Ersha and said, "He's shed a lot."
Ersha angrily retorted, "Do you want to do it again?"