"There will definitely be another four years!"
...
From the moment she announced her retirement, Jian Changnian stood there, her mind blank. The surrounding noise, the media's camera shutters, the flashes, the moving figures—everything flashed before her eyes like a revolving lantern.
As that red figure receded into the distance and was about to disappear behind the door, her eyes reddened, and she seemed to wake from a dream. She tried to chase after it, but was stopped by a group of people.
I watched helplessly as she disappeared into the darkness.
As Jiang Yunli watched the final footage in the studio, a single tear slid down her cheek.
"Seeing this, I was overwhelmed with emotion. My last match before retiring was against her, and the first match I commentated on after retiring was also with her."
"I don't know what kind of era this is. People can hide behind the internet, type on their keyboards, and swear at another person, slander her, defame her, and not have to take any responsibility. They have no idea what kind of person Xie Shi'an is, what kind of effort she has to put in, and how she has practiced hard day after day for decades to stand here. All they see are the few matches Xie Shi'an lost, and all the negative opinions about her, and even those are not true."
"They all seem to be blinded by the words 'following the crowd,' unable to see how hard she worked on the field, unable to see her playing with injuries time and time again, and unable to see how many medals she won and how she brought honor to the country."
“What the masses pursue and believe in is never truth or reason, but blind obedience, cruelty, prejudice, and fanaticism—simple yet extreme.” [1]
"I hope everyone remembers that Xie Shi'an came to Beijing when the national team was facing its most difficult time and a period of great transition, and she single-handedly carried an entire era. She was only eighteen years old that year!"
"These past six years have not only been the peak of her personal career, but also the best six years for the entire national team!"
"Era will eventually pass, but heroes will never fade away!"
Another commentator, with tears in his eyes, said...
"I really like one of Su Shi's poems, and I think it would be most appropriate to give it to Xie Shi'an at this moment."
"Do not heed the sound of rain pattering through the trees; why not chant and stroll leisurely? A bamboo staff and straw sandals are lighter than a horse. Who's afraid? Let a straw raincoat and misty rain accompany me through life!"
“Looking back at the desolate place I came from, returning, there is neither wind nor rain, neither sunshine nor gloom!” [2]
"Contestant Xie Shi'an, we'll also give you the words you just gave to contestant Jian Changnian."
"May you have a bright future and shine brightly in whatever you do, wherever you are, in the days to come."
The heavy doors to the athletes' tunnel are about to close in front of us.
The spot of light shrank smaller and smaller on the ground.
The cheers and clamor around me gradually faded into inaudibility.
It's like two separate worlds.
Xie Shi'an, carrying his golf bag, stood outside the door, facing the field, and once again bowed deeply.
With a soft creak, the iron gate closed in front of us, splashing a few drops of water on the ground.
Chapter 128 Looking Back
The group returned to their apartment.
Without saying a word, Jian Changnian followed him into the office.
"Coach Wan, you already knew about Shi An's retirement, didn't you?! Why did you only keep it from me? Why did you only keep it from me?!"
Seeing her like this, Wan Jing's temper flared up: "Are you here to interrogate me?! Do you want me to make a scene again if I don't tell you?!"
Jian Changnian rushed to his side, her eyes bloodshot, speaking rapidly and urgently. Upon closer inspection, her whole body was trembling slightly.
"She told me yesterday, last night, that she wouldn't leave me... and promised me that once she recovered from her injury, we'd play together again, just like before. How... how could she suddenly decide to retire? Did the team put some pressure on her?"
"Don't you know why she retired?!"
Wan Jing's words were like a bolt from the blue.
Jian Changnian looked on incredulously, took two steps back, and turned to run away.
"No, no way... You must be lying to me! Liars! You're all liars! I'm going to find Shi'an and get to the bottom of this!"
Wan Jing's words rendered her immobile.
"Have you seen her wrist? Well, she usually wears wristbands, so you can't see them."
Jian Changnian stiffened and turned her head.
"What do you mean?"
Losing Xie Shi'an, a great general, Wan Jing was filled with grief and tears welled up in his eyes. He roared.
"What I mean is, even if she recovers from her injury, an athlete who can't pass the psychological evaluation can't compete anymore. Can I protect her once, and can I protect her every time?! Besides, her injury is already... already at its most critical point!"
"If she keeps fighting, she won't even be able to walk!"
Jian Changnian swayed, only managing to stand up by holding onto the table. She grabbed his collar tightly and shouted at the top of her lungs.
"Then why didn't you tell me sooner?! I could... I could..."
Can this help her injury heal?
Can I suffer in her place?
Can we share the burden with her?
Can you protect her?
She couldn't even quell the public outcry for her, and she didn't even notice that her depression had relapsed and she had started self-harming.
Jian Changnian couldn't utter a single word; all she could do was tremble and shed tears in vain.
Wan Jing's words were like a knife stabbing deep into her body, leaving Jian Changnian completely wounded.
"Come on, be more mature! Xie Shi'an's retirement was out of necessity, and more importantly, it was to protect you! Only when she stops appearing on the field will things calm down. You have a bright future ahead of you, how could she just stand by and watch you ruin it because of these things!"
Jian Changnian let go of him, shook her head, and backed away step by step, her expression unreadable, as if she were crying or laughing.
Just then, Lü Xiaoting rushed in anxiously.
"Oh no, Coach Wan, Sister An is missing!"
"What do you mean 'gone missing'?! How could a perfectly healthy person just disappear like that?!"
"I just went to her room to look for her. It was clean and tidy, and her luggage was still there, but no one was there. I asked the driver, and he said she didn't get on the bus at all, and her phone was off!"
Lü Xiaoting was almost in tears.
"What if something happens to Sister An now?!"
Before he could finish speaking...
Jian Changnian's vision went black, her body swayed a few times, and she almost fell to the ground, but two people quickly caught her.
"Chang Nian, Chang Nian, what's wrong with you?!"
Jian Changnian struggled to her feet, pushed their hands away, and stumbled as she ran outside.
"I...I'm fine...I'll go...go find her."
Seeing her figure, Wan Jing also became anxious.
"Quickly, what are you waiting for? Get more people to search! Search her apartment, training room, cafeteria, and other places she frequents, as well as the surrounding neighborhoods, supermarkets, parks, and so on. Go now!"
"Okay, okay, I'll go right now!" As Lü Xiaoting ran outside, she took out her phone to call her teammates.
The entire national team was mobilized, and they practically turned the training base upside down.
"Have you found a training room?"
"I've looked, but nobody's here!"
"What about the cafeteria?"
"We've even looked for the toilets, let alone the cafeteria!"
"Coach Wan, I've also looked in the nearby park and checked the security footage with the park manager, but I still haven't seen Sister An!"
Wan Jing stood at the entrance of the training base, phone in hand, as anxious as an ant on a hot plate: "Xiao Zhang, Xiao Liu, you two take my car and go check on Shi An's family. Oh, and the school too, I need to call her counselor..."
Jian Changnian had just run back from searching outside, her hands on her knees, panting: "W-how is it?"
Everyone shook their heads.
Lu Xiaoting hung up the phone and came over, also extremely anxious.
"I just checked with Anjie's school, she hasn't gone back! If all else fails, let's call the police!"
"She just... and we called the police right after! Isn't this enough of a fuss?! Hurry, go find her again!"
Wan Jing clutched his chest, his brows furrowed, looking as if he might faint at any moment.
A sudden idea flashed through Jian Changnian's mind. She gritted her teeth, straightened up, and rushed to the roadside to flag down a taxi.
"Hey, where are you going again?!"
Without even thinking, Jian Chang opened the car door and got in.
"I think I know where she is. I'll call you back once I find her."
"Hey, hey, explain yourself clearly!"
Lu Xiaoting wanted to chase after it, but the taxi had already stepped on the gas and merged into the traffic. Jian Changnian took out her phone and called Shi An, but unsurprisingly, it was still switched off.
She was extremely anxious.
"Driver, speed up, we're going to the airport."
***
Jian Changnian bought a ticket for the next available flight to Jiangcheng City, and it was already late at night when she landed.
She then rushed to the cemetery without stopping.
The driver said as he drove, "Young lady, what brings you here so late at night?"
As they arrived at the cemetery, she threw a wad of money on the back seat, opened the car door, and got out.
"Please wait a moment, I will pay you double the money."
She ran to Yan Xinyuan's tombstone in one breath, turned on her phone's flashlight and shone it around. There was no one there, but the tombstone was spotless. She reached out and touched it and there wasn't a speck of dust.
Jian Changnian squatted down and leaned a bunch of fresh white chrysanthemums against the grave. The small flowers swayed in the wind, and there was also a half-burnt incense stick, which was still warm.
Her eyes immediately welled up with tears. Who else but Shi'an would come to this place? She must be very sad today. She turned off her phone and didn't want to talk to anyone, but she still came to visit Coach Yan as soon as possible.