After a long pause, Li Hui spoke first, "Why don't you go to San San's house to sleep? I can stay at Li Hanqiang's house for the night. Judging from the situation, tonight is going to be a fierce battle. We should stay away from the brunt of it."
Chen Yunqi said he needed to smoke a cigarette and go back to his room to get a toothbrush and towel, so he told Li Hui to go ahead. Watching Li Hui huddle in his coat, neck hunched, and disappear into the distance, Chen Yunqi then went around to the side of the classroom and climbed the ladder onto the roof.
A small national flag stands atop a concrete pillar in the center of the roof, its flagpole swaying from side to side in the wind, the flag fluttering loudly. Every Monday, Tang Yutao leads his students in a flag-raising ceremony here, and sometimes children sneak up to play. Pebbles and chalk stubs are scattered all over the roof, which is covered in scribbles.
Chen Yunqi picked up a piece of cardboard and sat down on the edge of the eaves, letting one leg dangle and swing gently. He took out his cigarette case and looked inside; there were only three cigarettes left. The wind was strong on the roof, so he shivered and took out one to light. There was no light coming from the three houses not far away; judging by the time, they should already be asleep.
The cold night was long. Chen Yunqi stared at the blurry outline of the house in the darkness, his thoughts racing, and he felt a deep sadness.
After a long day of work, San San lay exhausted on the bed. Lately, his sleep had become very poor; no matter how tired he was during the day, he always had trouble falling asleep at night. Feeling suffocated, he got up, put on his clothes, and tiptoed out to the yard for some fresh air.
He looked up in the direction of the school and was suddenly surprised to find a faint light on the roof, flickering in the darkness.
San San immediately realized that it was Chen Yunqi smoking.
In the darkness, Chen Yunqi's fingers holding a cigarette, his lips veiled in smoke, and his slightly aloof figure instantly formed an image in his mind. He stared at the point of light with fascination in the cold wind, feeling both sweet and painful, gleefully spying on his own secrets.
San San didn't know what Christmas was. That day, he met Li Jun at someone else's house and, unusually for him, took the initiative to chat with Li Jun, casually asking him about it. Li Jun, having been out in the world for a long time, knew a little about everything. He told San San that it was a foreign holiday, and on this day, relatives, friends, and lovers would exchange gifts.
San San couldn't come up with a decent gift, nor did he have the money to buy one. But even if he did, what good would it do? He didn't even know what he wanted, so what kind of status should he use to give Chen Yunqi a gift?
The flickering light took a long time to dim, and San San felt a pang of pain in his heart. He couldn't guess why Chen Yunqi had stayed on the roof for so long. It was so cold; his long, beautiful hands must have been frozen stiff.
Only after the light never reappeared did San San return to her room, feeling utterly lost.
Chen Yunqi had finished all three cigarettes. He was shivering with cold and worried about where to go that night. He was too embarrassed to go to San San's house, and it wasn't convenient for San Niang to be home alone at Li Laoqi's house.
While he was thinking, he suddenly heard footsteps behind him. He turned around and saw that Song Feifei had climbed onto the roof at some point and was walking straight towards him. Chen Yunqi moved aside to make room for her, and she sat down next to him.
Song Feifei is quite petite, probably around 1.6 meters tall. Her features aren't conventionally beautiful, but they are delicate. She has a youthful fringe, wears a pink down jacket and khaki pants, and her watch and earrings are understated and simple, giving her a very elegant and refreshing look. Her temperament is typical of a girl from the South.
Chen Yunqi picked up the cigarette pack, waved it at her, and said, "That's all."
Song Feifei waved her hand to indicate that it was alright, then took out a pack of women's cigarettes from her pocket and handed it to him: "I have some, do you want some?"
Chen Yunqi wasn't used to smoking women's cigarettes, but he didn't care about being picky at the moment and reached out to take one out.
The two used smoking to cover up the awkward atmosphere. After a long while, Song Feifei finally spoke: "Teacher Chen, are you with San San?"
Chen Yunqi really didn't want to talk about this topic, so he coldly replied, "That's not true."
Song Feifei sensed the displeasure in his tone, pouted, and didn't ask any further questions.
Seeing that she wisely kept quiet, Chen Yunqi felt a little guilty, so he took the initiative to speak again: "Tang Yutao has feelings for you, he's just too stubborn to admit it."
Upon hearing this, Song Feifei gave a self-deprecating laugh. After gazing into the distance for a moment in thought, she began to tell Chen Yunqi about her past with Tang Yutao.
Song Feifei's hometown is in a first-tier city in the south, but she chose to become a "Beijing drifter." The main reason for this is that the company she works for is a leader in the industry, offering not only excellent benefits but also ample opportunities for career advancement.
Six months ago, several senior leaders were among the team representing the company to donate to Tianyun Primary School. They were very impressed with Song Feifei, who was in charge of the reception. This shrewd and capable young woman not only handled the event arrangements perfectly, but also appeared calm, capable, and confident when facing the accompanying media. Her untamed energy and the burgeoning ambition hidden within her small frame successfully impressed the leaders, who unhesitatingly extended an olive branch to her.
That was a job opportunity that many students dreamed of, so even though the workplace was thousands of miles from home, she didn't hesitate for a moment. She even took the opportunity to recommend her senior to the boss, but the boss didn't think much of her carefree senior and only told Tang Yutao to send his resume to the company's human resources department for review before making a decision.
Filled with anticipation for the future, Song Feifei happily told Tang Yutao, feeling smug that she had paved the way for his success. However, Tang Yutao flew into a rage upon learning this, accusing her of acting on her own initiative. Knowing Tang Yutao as she did, she knew that if he didn't want to, there was no way to persuade him. Tang Yutao had always been arrogant and self-important; high salaries, promising futures, and the life of an elite white-collar worker—none of these things swayed him.
Their ambiguous relationship had been going on since college, involving both things they shouldn't and should have done. Tang Yutao, a self-proclaimed playboy, didn't want to be tied down in a fixed relationship. Although he was of average appearance and had a disability in one eye, he was undeniably talented and charismatic, with a silver tongue that charmed many girls, keeping him constantly surrounded by admirers. Song Feifei saw this and felt resentful, but her pride wouldn't allow her to give in and lose the initiative.
Tang Yutao was going up the mountain, and Song Feifei, unable to let go of her feelings, followed him. Her persistence touched Tang Yutao, and their relationship grew closer after they went up the mountain, but it remained ambiguous because neither of them was willing to be the first to break the ice.
The last time they parted, it ended badly because of work. But after all these years, Song Feifei's importance in Tang Yutao's heart is unparalleled. It's not something that can be easily severed. Not long after they separated, he fell ill with lovesickness again.
During their separation, neither of them brought up the future again. But time waits for no one, and Song Feifei was well past the age for marriage; she couldn't keep wasting time. This time, she had ruthlessly slain her pride; it was all or nothing. If Tang Yutao still refused to give them both an explanation, she was determined to give up.
As Chen Yunqi listened to her story, he thought of Yu Xiaosong again. Over the years, although he and Yu Xiaosong were not as mutually attracted as Tang Yutao and Song Feifei, he still saw Yu Xiaosong's shadow in Song Feifei. He realized that he had never tried to understand Yu Xiaosong's feelings. Over the years, Yu Xiaosong had also waited persistently, unaware that he had given his deep affection to the wrong person.
In the end, he let go. There is no greater sorrow than a broken heart, and no one can withstand the erosion of time.
Chen Yunqi didn't know how to comfort Song Feifei, so he got up and helped her up, saying, "It's getting late, go back to sleep."
The lights were already off in Tang Yutao's room. Song Feifei glanced at the dark window, her eyes dimming. Chen Yunqi brought out his washbasin and toiletries from the room, gave the room to Song Feifei, and then knocked on Tang Yutao's door.
Tang Yutao was clearly not asleep; he hadn't even taken off his clothes. He opened the door, initially pretending to be annoyed at being woken up, but then relaxed when he saw that only Chen Yunqi was at the door. He then asked Chen Yunqi, who was carrying a washbasin, "Why didn't you go to San San's house?"
Chen Yunqi didn't answer. He quickly went into the house, plopped down on Li Hui's bed, rubbed his frozen hands, and said, "I'll sleep here tonight."
Tang Yutao frowned and said incredulously, "You're going to sleep in Li Hui's bed?"
Chen Yunqi breathed on his palms and shook his head like a rattle drum. "No, no, no, I won't sleep in his bed," he said, pointing to Tang Yutao's sleeping bag. "Give this to me."
Upon hearing this, Tang Yutao grabbed his sleeping bag, hugged it tightly to his chest, and said nervously with a resolute and unyielding expression, "Don't even think about it! His sheets haven't been changed for two months! No matter how rough they are, I won't sleep in Li Hui's bed!"
A note from the author:
--- I've been dealing with a lot of things at home lately, and without any drafts, I'm heartbroken and completely stuck. I'll be taking a few days off to save up some content, and I'll resume daily updates by Wednesday at the latest! P.S. After a little bit of drama, Teacher Chen and San San will start showing their sweet side, so you can enjoy it without worry!
Chapter Twenty-Three: Christmas
Two grown men slept back-to-back on the mattress, squeezed together, all night.
The romantic and cozy Christmas Eve turned into this. Although Tang Yutao was extremely unwilling, he eventually gave his sleeping bag to Chen Yunqi and covered himself with Li Hui's dirty and shiny quilt.
The mattress wasn't large to begin with, and after so many years, it creaked with the slightest movement. Tang Yutao tossed and turned for most of the night, sighing and making Chen Yunqi sleep poorly as well. The next day, he got up early, went to get some eggs and vegetables, and cooked breakfast himself. Song Feifei got up late, and by the time she woke up, the boiled eggs and stir-fried vegetables were already cold. She wasn't picky, and ate a bowl of cornmeal porridge with the vegetables, finishing it all.
It was terribly cold last night, but this morning it's a warm and pleasant day. Tang Yutao's mood returned to normal. He hummed a song as he placed the bag of hats on the ping-pong table, handing one out to each student who came in.
After having breakfast, Song Feifei went to help him hand out hats. The two seemed to have forgotten the unpleasantness of last night, or perhaps similar arguments had been repeated too many times, and they had become accustomed to the fact that each one ended inconclusively.
The children who arrived one after another were excited to see Song Feifei, waving their arms and chattering incessantly around her. Song Feifei brought a lot of snacks and candies, which she dumped onto the table, letting the children take what they wanted and eat.
Li Hui also returned, and he and Chen Yunqi each received a little red hat. The hat was too small; Chen Yunqi could barely manage to put it on, but Li Hui couldn't get it on at all. It just clung to his head, forming a small, comical shape.
Once all the children had arrived, they jostled and pushed each other to stand in front of the bulletin board in the pre-arranged formation. Tang Yutao took some effort to organize the line, then stood on the far left, cleared his throat, and said, "Today is Christmas, a day of peace and joy. May God bless everyone, and may we remember to give thanks."
Wearing a little red hat, the muscular Barbie solemnly announced:
"Next, please enjoy the Christmas choir of Tianyun Primary School, performing the song 'Ocean of Grace'."
As soon as he finished speaking, Li Hui readily turned on the accompaniment on his phone and turned the volume up to the maximum. A beautiful and soothing intro began, Tang Yutao started singing, and the children joined in.
"You are calling to me from the water."
"I fear disappointment when venturing into the unknown."
...
Your grace flows from the depths of the waters.
"You hold power and guide me."
"Just when I was mired in fear and weakness"
You never fail to support me.
...
The innocent voices of children echoed through the elementary school. All the children wore the same worn-out school uniforms, their faces flushed red by the wind, like the scarves on their chests. Many of the younger children couldn't remember the lyrics and simply sang along aimlessly. But perhaps the music was too sacred and moving, perhaps the children's smiles were too infectious, or perhaps the biting cold wind stung their eyes, but at that moment, everyone present, singing and listening, inexplicably had tears welling up in their eyes.
Song Feifei, who had been watching, was the first to join in. She stood next to Tang Yutao, took his hand, and sang along with him. Then Li Hui joined the children, beckoning to Chen Yunqi, who smiled and followed. He hadn't known the song before, but after listening to it for so long, he had learned about 70-80% of it.
They sang with abandon, over and over again, their only audience being the wind and the mountains.
"The sea is churning"
But I rest peacefully in your arms.
"Because you belong to me, I belong to you."
...
At this moment, all the world's loves and hates, life and death, joys and sorrows, and partings and reunions, become insignificant before these majestic mountains. The songs, though uneven, miraculously tremble in the heart and cleanse the soul. Everyone becomes small and humble, like lost lambs feeling the vast embrace of the mountains, seeking redemption here.
Every child is a child of the mountains. These mountains have selflessly nurtured generations of Yi people; they are their lifeblood and their soul.
Tang Yutao was so excited that he sang louder and louder. Chen Yunqi looked at him, at Song Feifei and Li Hui who were equally excited, and at Huang Yelin who was standing straight in the group. He thought that he would always remember that he had spent such a special Christmas with a group of simple children and pure friends on the top of Yunshan Mountain.
Tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, and her tightly clenched hands were gently grasped.
He was so overwhelmed with emotion that he didn't even notice when San San stood beside him.
Chen Yunqi turned his head in surprise, and the handsome profile of the young man came into view. San San didn't look at him, but simply held his hand very lightly, warming the coldness between his fingers.
San San's eyes also welled up with tears. Tang Yutao had invited him when he came to pick up groceries that morning, but he was at home during the off-season for farming and had thought about it for a long time before sneaking over. He originally only wanted to catch a glimpse from afar, but he was also moved by the singing and the atmosphere, and after much hesitation, he finally approached Chen Yunqi.
They hadn't been this close in a long time, and the warm and familiar feeling made their suppressed longing even more overwhelming.
When the song ended, Song Feifei quickly ran back into the house, took out her camera, and took a group photo of everyone.
The children scattered, leaving a few excited adults standing there silently trying to calm their emotions.
San San let go, looked up at Chen Yunqi with a shy smile, and said, "Brother."
It had been a long time since Chen Yunqi had seen San San's captivating smile, and he suddenly felt as if something he had lost in his heart had been regained in an instant.
Without thinking much of it, he reached out and ruffled San San's hair, whispering, "Why are you here?"
San San still smiled: "I've come to listen to you sing."
"So you came all this way just to see me make a fool of myself," Chen Yunqi frowned, but felt an unparalleled sense of relief.
"I'm not very good at singing," he said shyly, rubbing his eyes. "The wind is so strong, it's getting in my eyes."
San San pursed her lips, leaned close to his ear and whispered, "It sounds really good."
Sheng Xiaoyan is coming back today. She and Song Feifei are very close; Song Feifei helped her apply for a scholarship to transfer to a school in town. Song Feifei is going back tomorrow morning, and San San has arranged to have dinner at their house tonight.
After a noisy morning, Song Feifei taught two classes to the children in the afternoon. Her classroom atmosphere was much more relaxed and pleasant than that of the male teachers, and the long-lost laughter filled the classroom again.
Tang Yutao leaned against the classroom door, listening to the laughter inside. Seeing his adoring expression, Chen Yunqi smiled and said to him, "What a wonderful girl, don't let her down."
Tang Yutao shook his head: "I just know she's a good person, and I don't want to let her down."
Chen Yunqi understood what he meant. The deeper the love, the less he dared to get close, because he knew he was incapable of giving her happiness.
The night is long and dreams are many, so you'd better not think of me.
After returning home and putting down her things, Sheng Xiaoyan couldn't wait to go to the school to find Song Feifei. After school, they walked arm in arm in front, with three men following behind, heading towards San San's house.
The winter solstice has passed, and it's getting colder in the mountains. There's no harvest in the fields, and many families have already stopped farming. This year, the Spring Festival came early, and everyone is busy tidying up their houses, storing food, and preparing to welcome the new year.
Since they didn't have to work in the fields, San San's mother had prepared a meal early and was waiting for them. Chen Yunqi hadn't come in a long time, and as soon as he entered, San San's mother smiled and said to him, "Teacher Chen, have we offended you? We haven't seen you in so long!"
Chen Yunqi hurriedly helped get the bowls and chopsticks, repeatedly explaining, "How could that be! Auntie is joking. I've been getting criticized by Teacher Tang for always coming here to freeload, and she told me not to always take advantage of the people."
Tang Yutao knew Chen Yunqi was using him as an excuse, and rolled his eyes in annoyance. Chen Yunqi winked at him, signaling him to help explain, and he finally spoke up: "Yeah, yeah, I told him to get some more work in the fields, instead of always eating for free and not doing any work. What family wants a son-in-law like that!"