“Yaping! There aren’t many families in Shanghai like ours when it comes to marrying off their daughters. Every other family goes all out, with a grand send-off. Not to mention the banquets at five-star hotels with hundreds of tables, there are plenty of trips to Europe and Southeast Asia. We didn’t ask for anything. My daughter, Lijuan, is marrying down; her family is providing for her. We, as her mother, don’t want anything, just that our daughter is happy and not mistreated. We hope you’ll treat her well in the future, and not treat us like treasures at home while you treat us like trash. We’d rather step over a broken oil bottle at home than become your maids. After marriage, you’ll be a man, so you’ll need to take on more housework, understand?”
Yaping solemnly made a promise in front of his mother-in-law.
"Brainy worker! My mouth is burning. Would you like some tea?" Lijuan frantically pressed buttons on the remote control, ordering. Yaping brought the tea over, placed a wooden mat on the coffee table, and made sure it was stable. "Hot! Drink it later." "Thank you, Brainy worker! You're the most hardworking brainy worker in the world! I want to give you a big red flower, pin it to your little armrest!" Lijuan then wrapped her arms around Yaping's leg, rubbing her head against him. Yaping stroked Lijuan's hair.
Four.
Basically, after marriage, Lijuan enslaved Yaping. Lijuan handled this enslavement perfectly; too much would cause resentment, too little would lead to estrangement. Yaping found this enslavement enjoyable and willing; if he didn't receive it one day, he would feel a little lost and might even proactively ask, "Are you tired? Want a shoulder massage?"
"Ugh! Get lost! Don't I see through your tricks? Where are my shoulders? You barely massaged my shoulders before your fingers started pinching my front. I'm not massaging my shoulders today. But I can massage my toes." After saying that, Lijuan held up her fair, tender toes with red veins to Yaping's mouth. Yaping kissed them. "So smelly!" "Then, go get a basin of foot bath water! You'll smell nice after you wash them." Yaping would then happily fetch a basin of lukewarm foot bath water, casually draping a towel over his shoulder.
When it comes to chores, the two are evenly matched, each contributing their share. For example, if they rarely cook at home, Lijuan will prepare the chopping board first. She'll pick and wash the vegetables, then cut them into neat pieces. "Yaping," she'll say, "the real chefs are the ones wielding the knife. The ones standing at the stove are just minor characters. Look, after I've played the lead role, I'm now giving you the supporting role, so you can have a chance to shine. We can't let you always be an extra!"
After dinner, Yaping would always wash the dishes. This was agreed upon before the marriage. "I can't wash them. If I wash my hands, I'm doomed. I'll turn into an old, mushy gourd. Then when you grab my hand, it will feel like your left hand grabbing your right. I want to always keep my hands in good shape so that you can feel everything when you touch them."
However, while Yaping was washing the dishes, Lijuan would take a broom and sweep the kitchen floor and wipe the stove.
The two agreed to clean once a week, with Yaping handling the physical labor and Lijuan taking on the more technical tasks. Their division of labor was natural, and they never argued. Their seamless cooperation was like that of a couple from a past life.
This balance was broken on the very first day the in-laws arrived.
After walking around the house upstairs and downstairs, my mother-in-law started unpacking bags and tidying things up. My father-in-law, on the other hand, sat at the dining table smoking.
Watching her father-in-law's fierce smoking, Lijuan felt uneasy. "If the cigarette butt falls onto the linen tablecloth, the 800 yuan will be wasted. I need to hurry up and get a glass tabletop made. No, I'll go tomorrow."
"Mom! Let's go out for dinner! You must be tired. Get some rest after dinner, we have to go to work tomorrow," Lijuan said.
"Why go out? Just eat at home! We're not strangers. Eat whatever's available."
Lijuan was immediately embarrassed and looked to Yaping for help. The refrigerator was empty; they had just cleaned out everything that could be burned last night.
"We're out of food at home, we didn't prepare anything. We were planning to go shopping together when you arrive to see what you'd like to eat. We won't eat at home today. We'll eat tomorrow!" Yaping said.
"What are you saying! Mom's here, how can she let her child eat out? I'm just a personal cook, a nanny with my own meal tickets. You all go and rest, I'll come and see what we're having for dinner. Go ahead! Don't worry about it."
"Alright then! Lijuan, see what Mom needs and hand it to her. I haven't finished my work yet, I'm going upstairs." Yaping turned and left.
Lijuan stood awkwardly behind her mother-in-law, following her around in circles. "Do you have any noodles?" "I don't know. Yaping, do you have any noodles at home?" Lijuan shouted at the top of her lungs. There was no response from upstairs.
Lijuan stood at the top of the stairs, craning her neck and calling out, "Yaping! Yaping!" Yaping rushed down from upstairs.
"Do you have a rolling pin?" "I don't think so. Yaping! Yaping!" Yaping rushed down from upstairs again.
"Where are the Sichuan peppercorns?" "Yaping? Have we ever bought Sichuan peppercorns before?" Yaping rushed downstairs again.
On the first night, we ate noodles with a sauce made from soy sauce fried eggs.
When it was time to wash the dishes, Yaping was freed up because he couldn't beat his mother to it. "Go ahead, go ahead! What are you doing washing dishes, you're a grown man! You're just getting in the way in the kitchen! Go do your thing. Lijuan doesn't need to do anything either, you go watch TV. I can manage by myself."
Lijuan politely declined twice, then happily rushed to the living room to get the remote control.
The mother-in-law poked her head out of the kitchen, tapping a bowl and saying, "Lijuan! Look, there isn't even a bowl for noodles in this house. Every bowl looks like a wine cup. You can't expect people to suck noodles from the edge of the pot, can you? Your father had to go through 14 rounds of ladling for dinner, and it was gone as soon as he opened his mouth. You have to live like this. Tell me tomorrow where there's a place nearby that sells daily necessities, and I'll go get some big pots, big bowls, and big plates."
"Oh! There's a supermarket nearby. I'll bring it back after work tomorrow!" "No need! You don't know what size to buy. Just write down the address, and I can find it myself."
Lijuan sat watching TV. Her mother-in-law walked around the living room with a rag. She wiped the table legs, the coffee table shelves, and then stood in front of the TV, carefully cleaning the gaps in the radiator, completely obscuring the screen. Lijuan twisted and turned, trying to catch a glimpse of the screen.
"I'm not bothering you, am I?" The mother-in-law even turned half her body apologetically to leave some light for Lijuan.
"Mom, we just cleaned yesterday, so you should rest too! Let's look around together."
“I don’t watch foreign films. When Yaping pulled me around the house just now, I touched everything and found it covered in dust. I’ve been cleaning it up whenever I have time these past few days. You kids haven’t been homemakers or experienced managing a household before, you don’t know how to do chores. It’s all thanks to the older generation taking care of you. I was taught by my mother-in-law myself.” The mother-in-law had already wiped the screen, even breathing hot air onto it, and was scrubbing it vigorously with a rag. For stubborn dust, she used a variety of methods, including picking at it with her fingernails, rubbing it with her thumbs, and even spitting on it, leaving no corner or stain untouched.
Lijuan couldn't make heads or tails of the whole film. Meanwhile, her father-in-law's thunderous snoring echoed from upstairs. The snoring seemed to travel across the roof of the 7th floor and reach the heavens.
"I'm going to sleep! You should get some rest too." The mother-in-law came out of the kitchen, massaging her lower back.
"Goodbye." Lijuan stood up and nodded. "I'll wait for Yaping to finish his work so I can use the computer to finish a manuscript."
That day, from the time Yaping finished eating and went upstairs until his mother went to sleep, he didn't go down a single step of the stairs. How strange.
(First Day Impressions)
Lijuan: My mother-in-law is really hardworking, but a little too hardworking. It's better to have someone else do the work than to do it yourself.
Mother-in-law: She doesn't even know if there's any flour in the house; this little girl needs some discipline.
five.
The piercing shriek of the alarm clock shattered Lijuan's sweet dream, reaching her very core. Without even opening her eyes, Lijuan swatted the alarm clock away like she'd killed an annoying mosquito, and continued her reverie. Where was she just now? Oh! Banknotes, banknotes scattered all over the floor, she thought about crouching down to pick them up. Continue, continue picking them up.
"Lijuan! The alarm clock has gone off."
I picked up a note, but bad luck, it was a one-yuan note. I needed to get a 100-yuan note in change.
"Lijuan! We're going to be late."
The police are coming; we need to act quickly.
"Lijuan." Her mother-in-law stood by the bed and nudged her. "Poor child, she only slept at midnight and has to get up so early this morning. She has to go to work! What are we going to do, Lijuan?"
Lijuan suddenly sat up straight, her eyes still closed, and ran to the toilet. Pushing open the door, she heard her father-in-law coughing inside, and startled, she turned and backed away, shouting, "I didn't open my eyes! They've been closed the whole time!" She then rushed downstairs to the toilet. Squeezing open a crack, she was suddenly stunned: Yaping, impeccably dressed, was sitting at the dining table, eating porridge and pancakes with tofu sauce.
"Lijuan, hurry up and wash, then have breakfast," her mother-in-law instructed.
"It's too late. I can't even put toothpaste on my brushing," Lijuan said. She finished washing up, changed into a suit and high heels within 10 minutes, and set off with a comb in her hand.