"Hu Ni, it's you." The surprised whisper from afar made all her doubts and anxieties disappear.
"Why aren't you saying anything?" Qiu Ping asked, his magnetic voice full of tenderness. "I miss you so much. I wanted to call you after I finished my work, but it was too late, and I was afraid of disturbing your rest."
"Qiuping!" Hu Ni felt extremely guilty for having imagined Qiuping in that way for her.
"What?...Are you alright?"
"...Okay! And you!"
"Okay, ...I really miss you after I'm done with this!"
"..."
“Hu Ni,”
"Um?"
"I'm thinking about the past..."
"..."
"Thinking back to the day you left, I chased after you desperately, trying to catch up with you... I told myself that one day, I would find you and bring you back..." Qiu Ping smiled gently, a relaxed and cheerful smile. The conversation across the telephone line felt more free.
Hu Ni bit her lip, trying not to cry out, letting the tears flow freely.
"Hu Ni?"
"..."
"How are you?"
Hu Ni took a deep breath and said, "Okay."
"You didn't cry, did you?"
"……No."
"No? Then what did I just hear? Was it the little yellow dog peeing?"
Hu Ni burst out laughing: "You're the little yellow dog!"
"...I wish you were here with me right now."
"..."
"I miss you!"
Hu Ni wanted to say "I miss you," she really did, but she couldn't say it. She just asked him, "When are you coming back?"
"I'll be back in about two days."
"...Alright, you should get some rest."
"Okay, you should get some rest too... Goodnight!"
"Good night!"
I climbed back into bed, lay down, feeling anxious and uneasy; I just couldn't shake off the feeling of unease.
A Past of Sudden Growth (Part 5)
gold
She meticulously applied foundation, then carefully dusted her face with powder—a fine powder she'd bought specifically for today's date. Only after her skin looked smooth and supple, with no visible pores, did she put the powder puff back in the compact. Using an eyelash curler, she carefully curled her already long and curled lashes, making each lash more defined. She then meticulously applied eyelash gel, and with her eyes half-closed, drew a very thin eyeliner along the lash line, carefully blending it with a cotton pad. Her eyes became even more vibrant. A touch of natural-colored lip gloss spread evenly across her lips. Hu Ni examined herself in the mirror. Two slightly upturned, jet-black eyebrows; large, deep-set eyes; a small, delicate nose; a smooth, oval face; a refined, pointed chin; smooth lips; of medium height, but due to perfect proportions—long, straight limbs and a slender neck—she appeared much taller, yet still petite and delicate. A long, soft white dress paired with a soft, flowing silver-gray knit top that just covered her hips, and long hair draped naturally over her shoulders. Standing in the mirror was a delicate and elegant woman.
There was still plenty of time. Hu Ni slowly walked to the window, sat down in a chair, lit a cigarette, and slowly took a drag, feeling a little uneasy. Today was her first formal date with Qiu Ping. In the days that had passed, they had rarely met, only communicating by phone.
I checked the time, slowly stubbed out my cigarette, picked up my off-white backpack, closed the door, took a deep breath, and slowly walked downstairs.
Inside the Western restaurant, the lighting was both glamorous and dim, and the soft, melodious sound of a piano filled the air. Everything felt just right. At least Hu Ni, sitting opposite Qiu Ping, was grateful for the dim, ambiguous lighting. She felt that she was, to some extent, hiding herself away, and in the dimness, everything felt more natural and relaxed.
The waiter cleared away the unappetizing plate and brought over two cups of coffee. Hu Ni added sugar to her coffee, using three whole packets, because she hated the bitterness of coffee.
She slowly stirred the thick, brown liquid in her glass with a small spoon, feeling the quiet all around her, broken only by the sound of a piano. Even the voices of people here seemed to soften. Hu Ni continued stirring the thick liquid, knowing Qiu Ping was watching her. She lifted the spoon and placed it on a plate, taking a deep breath. Looking up, she met Qiu Ping's gaze—gentle, yet fiery. Perhaps it was the dim light that allowed him to gaze so intensely, and the wine—they had just drunk red wine.
Meeting Qiu Ping's gaze, Hu Ni felt a stirring within her, encouraged by his gaze. She smiled at him, a smile that was incredibly charming, which she thought was her most ordinary smile.
Qiu Ping reached out and grasped Hu Ni's unguarded hand, which was resting beside the cup. Hu Ni's fingers twitched, but instinctively; she didn't want to pull her hand away, and it felt good.
"Hu Ni, will you be my girlfriend?" Qiu Ping asked in a low, magnetic baritone voice.
Hu Ni lowered her head. She wanted to say, "Okay!" She wanted to say "Okay!" without hesitation. But now...
"Hu Ni, do you... have a boyfriend?" He stared at her and asked, enunciating each word clearly.
Hu Ni looked up and saw his gaze, fixed intently on her. Hu Ni smiled and shook her head.
Qiu Ping smiled with relief.
Hu Ni looked at him, struggling to maintain her composure. In truth, she could only remain silent. She didn't want to reject Qiu Ping; he had always held a special place in her heart. But she also didn't dare accept him. Hu Ni was surprised that facing this choice didn't cause her pain; her heart remained light, and she even felt happy being with Qiu Ping.
"Hu Ni, say something! Say yes!" He smiled, the kind of bright, sunny smile she'd hoped for. Hu Ni nodded involuntarily, truly not wanting to refuse. To hell with all the unpleasant things...
Qiu Ping breathed a sigh of relief and smiled, looking very relaxed. He brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed it. After a long silence, he finally said, "Hu Ni, I will make you happy!"
Hu Ni smiled, her heart still filled with that light, carefree joy.
The meal lasted three hours. At ten o'clock, the two decided to leave. All the background was superfluous to them now. They just needed to be together, the two of them, very close, and that was enough.
The night in Shenzhen was just as vibrant, with bustling streets, bright lights, and throngs of people. Hu Ni and Qiu Ping walked slowly, hand in hand. Everything around them was blurry and still; the bustling world was merely a blurred backdrop. They only had each other, and against that blurred backdrop, they were the radiant protagonists.
"Hu Ni, do you like Shenzhen?"
"It's alright."
"I like it here; it's very vibrant."
"..."
"It's also very beautiful."
"..."
"Let's settle down here from now on, okay? Let's build a family here, have children..."
She couldn't hear anything more she said; her smile froze on her face.
"What's wrong, Hu Ni?"
"No, I'm tired and want to go back."
The once dazzling city has become dim.
In the bathroom, Hu Ni stood under the showerhead, looking at the scar lying across her flat, fair abdomen. An abdomen with a scar could never bear new life; it was unproductive land. She was an incomplete woman. Was she to expose this flaw, this unbearable state, to the world around her? Why let him into her life again, appearing like a fleeting flower, only to wither and fade away afterward? Hu Ni forced herself to dry herself and lay down on the bed.
The night was deep, and the surrounding darkness was like the fear of loneliness that permeated Hu Ni's heart. Never before had she felt such a fear of loneliness.
Her mind was racing, becoming clearer and clearer. Since arriving in Shenzhen, insomnia had become her most frequent problem. Before, it was because of work; she was constantly changing jobs, constantly adapting, constantly learning. But recently, her insomnia was clearly because of Qiu Ping. In a city like this, such a reason for insomnia seemed somewhat ridiculous, yet Hu Ni couldn't help but suffer from it. She could hear the buzzing of mosquitoes; she had forgotten to turn on the mosquito repellent again.
She got up, groped in the dark in the corner, and plugged in the mosquito killer. She saw the little red dot light up, a vibrant, translucent red against the night. She stood up and kicked the mosquito killer towards the center of the room. Walking to the bedside, she hesitated, then turned and went to the window, lifting a corner of the curtain. Looking down at the empty space below, a strange warmth welled up inside her, yet her sorrow deepened. If she were whole, she would have possessed him without hesitation; she deserved it. She thought, her face already cold; she touched it and found it damp.
The hallway grew noisy. Two young men carrying laptops quickly passed by Hu Ni's window, excitedly talking about something. Hu Ni was startled and quickly drew the curtains, her face flushing involuntarily. She felt as if she were doing something very secret and had been discovered. She quickly went back to bed, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep. She lit a cigarette, leaned against the headboard, and smoked. In the darkness, the red cigarette butt flickered, looking rather lonely.
So I turned on my computer and started writing some incomprehensible text.
A Past of Sudden Growth (Part Six)
gold
The company is currently running a promotional campaign and has temporarily hired a large group of promotional girls. They are all young and attractive, and they are lined up in a small conference room receiving basic training.
Hu Ni and several other people from different departments were busy making preparations, both written and physical. They were preparing reports and packing boxes of specially made small packages of products for delivery. When they were busy, it felt fulfilling, but when they had free time, they didn't know what they had actually accomplished. Because it was all just trivial stuff.
It was already dark, but the host on stage was still trying his best to create an atmosphere, telling some unfunny "jokes." A few people in the crowd gave a faint smile, which only highlighted the dullness of the event. Audience members were invited up to answer some childish questions, round after round, and then each received a small prize—inexpensive little products from the company. Then, several scantily clad, brightly colored women danced onto the stage to loud music. Stunning faces, graceful figures—this was an era of rampant beauty, an era of beauty overload, where the streets were filled with beauties, some real, some fake, making it hard to tell the difference.
Hu Ni's phone rang, a faint sound amidst the noise, but she heard it; she'd been paying close attention to her phone. It was Qiu Ping; he was working overtime again today. Hu Ni breathed a sigh of relief. She finally felt at ease.
The event lasted for three days. I didn't see Qiuping for three days, and I missed her, but I was also relieved. Perhaps this will last a little longer.
On the last day, as soon as the event ended, the few remaining members of the department, like a defeated army, tidied up the mess, stuffing odds and ends into the car. Their stomachs were still growling with hunger.
The boss is here today to treat the employees who have worked hard for three days.
In a mutton restaurant in Huaqiangbei, in a private room called "Shuiyunjian", Hu Ni and her colleagues sat upright. Sitting with the boss, they were inevitably reserved.
The owner, however, was focused on creating a harmonious atmosphere, loudly proclaiming, "Ladies, please order! Ladies, please order!" In the end, each person ordered only one dish.
The group of people were exhausted and just ate in silence. The more "savvy" ones would find an excuse to toast the boss and chat about work. The meal was finished in less than an hour. The boss offered to drive everyone home, passing through Shennan Avenue from Huaqiangbei to Nantou. Those heading towards the municipal government went home on their own.
Four or five people squeezed into the boss's BMW, making small talk along the way. Two people got out at Gangxia, one at Baishizhou, and one at the Science Park, leaving only Hu Ni and the boss in the car. Hu Ni had to force herself to stay awake and think of something to say; she couldn't just sit there in silence the whole way.
Fortunately, the boss was quite talkative today, asking many questions that Hu Ni only needed to answer. Questions included, "How many years have you been in Shenzhen?", "How long have you worked for the company?", "Which school did you graduate from?", and "What opinions or suggestions do you have for the company?" A whole host of questions... Before she knew it, they had arrived at the Guimiao New Village stop. Hu Ni said with a sigh of relief, "Boss, I'm here."
Without turning his head, the shopkeeper said, "Where do you live? I'll take you in."
Hu Ni said, "How could I trouble you again?"
The boss laughed heartily and said, "It's just a few steps, and it's not easy to turn around here."
"Thank you for your help. I live right next to Yukang."
"You bought the house yourself?"
"Rented."
"What about your household registration? Has it been transferred to Shenzhen?"
Not yet.
"The company has a few household registration quotas this year, let's see if we can help with that," the boss said casually.
In truth, Hu Ni didn't care much about household registration. It didn't matter to her where it was registered; she wasn't sure she'd settle down there, and besides, she didn't have any children to send to school. Nevertheless, Hu Ni thanked the boss, perhaps he was just saying it casually.
When the car arrived at the intersection leading to the apartment building, Hu Ni said, "Boss, I'm here, thank you."
She got out of the car and walked inside. She didn't want to drive the car inside; she was worried that Qiu Ping would be waiting for her there, and what if he misunderstood? She was very nervous and tender towards him.
Few pedestrians were on the street. High heels clicked wearily on the ground, casting long, short shadows that seemed lonely. In the quiet, she couldn't help but think of him, and this longing made her feel especially lonely. Her bag, slung over her shoulder, swayed casually in her hand. A slight breeze blew by, bringing a touch of coolness. Hu Ni tilted her head back, squinted, and savored the gentle breeze on her face. Strands of hair brushed her cheeks, feeling cool and soft.
Walking through the alley and into the small open space, I felt a sudden warmth and hope in my heart. I looked around, but he wasn't there. Yes, he was still working overtime.
As I climbed the stairs, the streetlights had been repaired. The dim light cast long shadows, and the lonely sound of high heels echoed in the corridor. Everything relaxed; the noisy and stressful day had finally come to a stop here. I opened the door, kicked off my shoes, put down my bag, changed out of my overly fitted suit, sat on the floor by the bed, and eagerly dialed Qiuping's number.
Some say that a phone is indispensable in Shenzhen because people here are lonely, yet particularly afraid of loneliness; it's rare to find someone here who doesn't spend hours on the phone. Hu Ni has also started spending long hours on the phone these past few days. They see each other too infrequently, almost never. Thankfully, there's the phone, allowing them to feel each other's care.
Qiu Ping told her in a very calm tone that he was still in the office and wouldn't be back for a little while. He always spoke in that same indifferent tone at the company. After hanging up, she quickly took a shower, plugged in the mosquito repellent, lit a cigarette to soothe her itchy throat, and then picked up a book to read, waiting for the phone to ring. Qiu Ping would definitely call when he got home; his voice was gentle, his concern tender, and the light kiss on the phone was the best medicine for falling asleep. The room was quiet; the sound of turning pages and the burning cigarette were both clear. Hu Ni suppressed her anticipation and waited quietly.
A Sudden Growth in the Past (Part 7)