Mu Yuchengs Abkommen

Kapitel 35

"You—" he whispered behind me, but I didn't turn around, stubbornly disappearing into the pale moonlight. Disappearing into this utter nightmare. I prayed that when I woke up tomorrow, everything would be back to normal, proving that everything tonight was a lie, all a lie!!

Although I know this is just wishful thinking on my part.

I still can't forget what he said to me when I left the Imperial Palace, even in my dreams: "No one can stop me from getting what I want. Xie Weiying, you are mine."

"You're mine, you're mine..." This voice kept buzzing in my ears, and I painfully covered them. Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it!

I stumbled back to Jiu Nian Xuan through the dead of night, disheveled and exhausted. Now I need a place, a place that belongs to An Jin, to hide away, to slowly soothe this wound that will never heal, to slowly conceal it beneath my skin, beneath my clothes, so that no one can see it. All I need to do is lick the blood that just won't stop flowing.

Struggling, I pushed open the door and went inside, expecting to be met with darkness. Instead, I saw a lamp burning in the room, its soft light gradually warming my already frozen heart. I stood in the doorway and saw Yunying pacing anxiously in the hall. I stood there watching her, a warmth rising within me. Finally, she saw me standing outside the door, her face lighting up with joy. But when she turned around and saw my disheveled appearance, with my hair disheveled and only a piece of cloth draped over my shoulders, her eyes immediately filled with tears. We looked at each other like that, and a faint smile appeared on my lips.

She looked at me, tears streaming down her face, the sobs never stopping, murmuring, "I knew it would be like this, I knew it... Miss, I'm sorry, it's all Yunying's fault for being useless, for not being able to protect you, for making you suffer..."

Xiao Quanzi, who ran in from behind, stared at me blankly, then said helplessly, "Master—"

I staggered forward, trying to wipe away Yunying's tears. It pained me to see her like that. But as soon as I took a step, a wave of dizziness washed over me, and everything went black. I knew nothing more—

When I woke up, the east was already showing signs of dawn. Before I even opened my eyes, I heard sobbing beside me. I forced my eyes open and saw Yunying's face covered in tears, her eyes red and swollen. She was wiping me down with a towel.

I touched my forehead, which still felt heavy, and asked in a low voice, "What's wrong with me?"

Yunying looked at me through teary eyes and choked out, "Miss fainted and had a fever all night. Only after Lord Qing arrived, got the medicine, decocted it, and gave it to Miss did she wake up."

"Oh," I muttered to myself, "no wonder I felt dizzy and weak all day yesterday."

Yunying hugged me tightly and cried, "Miss, it's alright, everything will be alright. Master Qing said that as long as I take the medicine according to the prescription for a few days, I'll be fine."

I smiled weakly in her arms, "Silly girl, who am I? Of course I'm fine. I'll take care of everything. Don't worry. Go and prepare some hot water for me; I want to take a bath."

"Mmm." Yunying let go of me, nodded, and then, crying, carried the basin of water out to prepare. She just happened to brush past Chen Ningyuan, who was coming in.

When Chen Ningyuan saw me, he asked worriedly, "Young Master, are you alright?"

I nodded: "It's nothing. Thank you for your help last night."

“That’s what I should do. But young master—” He hesitated, then finally said, “Please rest well,” and left. I could see his hesitation, and I knew what he wanted to say. He must have seen the hickeys on my chest when he treated me. I didn’t need to say anything to guess what had happened.

"Miss, be careful." Because I was so weak and exhausted, I had to ask Yunying to help me into the bathtub.

Clinging to her arm, I stepped into the bathtub. The instant comfort made me sigh involuntarily, but the tearing pain in my lower body reminded me of everything that had happened last night, vivid in my mind.

Yunying tenderly rubbed my back. I said calmly, "Yunying, you haven't gone home all night. Won't Consort Wang suspect something?"

“Don’t worry, Yunying has already taken care of everything. Yesterday, when I saw the Emperor’s expression was not good, and my eyelids kept twitching, I had a bad feeling. After taking care of things there, I rushed here to wait for you, Miss. Sure enough—” At this point, Yunying burst into tears again, “The most important thing now is to take good care of your health and not to overwork yourself.”

I remained silent. Looking at the blue hickeys covering my body, some already turning purple, others leaving bruises, I wondered what kind of anger had driven him to such recklessness last night. I shook my head, unwilling to think further. I closed my eyes, submerged myself in the water, and all was silent.

I had just finished bathing when Yunying was helping me put on a casual shirt that I usually draped over my shoulders. Suddenly, Xiao Quanzi ran in, exclaiming, "Master, Eunuch Gao Lu has arrived! He says he has an imperial decree to receive!"

Yunying helped me up and made me kneel respectfully on the ground.

Gao Lu said solemnly above my head, "Please accept the imperial decree, Consort Xie."

"Wei Ying receives the decree. Long live the Emperor!"

"By the grace of Heaven, the Emperor decrees: The Fourth Miss Xie, while holding the title of Jieyu, failed to uphold the virtues and responsibilities of a concubine, indulging in unrestrained speech and actions that were morally reprehensible. She should have been executed as a warning to others. However, considering her diligent service to the Emperor, her merits and demerits are balanced. From this day forward, her Jieyu status is revoked, and she is transferred to Luoshuang Palace. So be it. Xie Weiying, why don't you accept this decree and express your gratitude?"

I obeyed, saying, "This servant accepts the decree and thanks Your Majesty for your great favor. Long live the Emperor!" A cold smile played on my lips. Was all I got in return for one night—being banished to the cold palace? This was quite a reward for me, wasn't it?

Volume 2, Chapter 63, Su Yunwei

As dawn broke, Sima Rui, who hadn't slept a wink all night, allowed his mind to go completely blank for the first time, empty of any thoughts, simply letting it remain vacant. Around the appointed time, palace maids and eunuchs filed in as usual, carrying his new dragon robe and attending to his needs for washing and waking. Seeing the mess on the floor, they remained expressionless, as if they were already used to it. Sima Rui couldn't help but turn back to look at the spot on the dragon bed where she had once lain. Now, the sheets were stained with blood, like blooming plum blossoms, strikingly beautiful, yet also incredibly ironic, like the disdainful, contemptuous, and tragically beautiful smile she wore when she left.

It was like a scar, constantly throbbing in Sima Rui's heart. It gave him a completely different feeling towards her, a feeling unlike anything he had ever had before, a feeling that was different from his usual shrewdness and pretense. Suddenly, his world felt real for the first time. Was it love? He absolutely refused to admit it.

He could almost still feel the warmth of her body in his hands, and the scent of her fragrance lingered in his nostrils—faint and elegant, yet unforgettable. He still remembered the hatred in her eyes, the resolute determination in her heart. He remembered every smile and frown of hers, and he also remembered her rare tears.

Sima Rui, whose mind was usually sharp, was somewhat stunned. What had he gained, and what had he lost?

Early morning.

The Left Chancellor took the lead: "Your Majesty, the four daughters of the Xie family have corrupted the Four Cardinal Principles and Five Constant Virtues, and have failed to fulfill their duties as imperial concubines..."

Other veteran officials followed suit and left.

"Your Majesty—"

"Your Majesty—"

"Your Majesty—"

"..."

Sima Rui rubbed his forehead, which ached slightly from a sleepless night, and coldly observed the group of pedantic old ministers. They were all nitpicking her faults, some of which hadn't even happened. Were the women in the harem stirring up trouble again? Or had they been terrified after seeing him carry her away yesterday, and thus informed their fathers in court? However, Sima Rui believed the upright and righteous Left Chancellor was genuinely concerned for the court. Was he afraid she would become obsessed with beauty and neglect state affairs? Or was he simply being pedantic?

Hmph, even if he can't figure out his feelings for Xie Weiying right now, he will never treat her any differently. To him, she is just like any other woman in the harem. Even if he favors her, it's just for show or for a few days of indulgence.

Of course, the country and the beauty are important, but the country comes first.

After thinking it over, Sima Rui interrupted the ministers who kept pleading, and lazily asked, "So, what do you think I should do?"

Except for the Left Chancellor who looked slightly suspicious and the Right Chancellor Xie Yushi who remained silent, the others all said in unison: "Expel her from the inner palace and send her to a nunnery."

Sima Rui raised his eyes: "Isn't this too harsh on my beloved concubine?" Just as they were about to continue their persuasion, Sima Rui casually interrupted: "How about demoting her to Luoshuang Palace? This matter is settled." He turned and called out: "Gao Lu—"

Gao Lu understood immediately and shouted in a shrill voice, "Speak up if you have something to say, otherwise the court is adjourned."

"Listen up, courtiers! Isn't Luoshuang Palace just a cold palace? It's practically the same as becoming a nun. Their emperor has never favored any of the concubines who entered Luoshuang Palace again. Those concubines who entered Luoshuang Palace either went mad or became stupid, posing no threat whatsoever. Therefore, Xie Weiying poses no threat whatsoever to his daughter in the harem."

The officials knelt and bowed, saying, "Your Majesty is wise."

The court session is adjourned.

Wealth and honor can vanish in an instant, and so can favor and glory. The ups and downs of love and favor have long been commonplace for me, and the same applies to going to Luoshuang Palace. Luoshuang Palace and Jiunian Pavilion must be the same—secluded, quiet, and peaceful—a good place. I remember Tong Yunying saying that in this harem, only the Cold Palace is the safest place, where I could spend the rest of my life in peace. But now, the only change is that the place where I will spend the rest of my life in peace will not be the Cold Palace, but the home I built with my own hands. I must leave. Yet, it seems there is something I cannot let go of, something that lingers, constantly lingering in my mind's eye. I hesitate, uncertain.

I instructed Xiao Quanzi to take my meager belongings, mostly my still-working sketches and designs, various pens, and a secret diary—a true record of every story and event that truly happened after I arrived in ancient times from the modern era. I don't know why, but I've developed a particular fondness for recording everything. I don't know what I'm afraid of. Perhaps the passage of time will make me forget everything from the modern world; perhaps I'm afraid I'll unintentionally become a real ancient woman; perhaps I'll suddenly die one day, and no one will remember me, no one will know me. In ancient times or in modern times, no one will miss me anymore. Everything I have will vanish with the flow of history; I will be submerged in the river of time. When I drown in it, I'll find myself unable to swim.

As I walked towards Luoshuang Palace, all I saw were gloating faces among the women. Only a few wore complex expressions. Huan Shuangshuang looked at me with a weary expression, while Consort Huan wore a smile and a hint of regret. Consort Wang's brows already betrayed her joy. The myriad aspects of human nature, the coldness and warmth of human relationships, were vividly displayed in this small harem. In truth, this harem was like a microcosm of the world, containing far too much.

Ya Ya hid behind the crowd, her gaze complex and her expression uncertain, looking utterly forlorn. I didn't know if she was doing it for me or for herself.

I laughed and said to the still indignant Xiao Quanzi, "Why are you making such a long face? Look, aren't you getting a free glimpse of all the different facets of life? Joy, anger, infatuation, madness, sorrow, irony, and grief—the changes on these women's faces are so beautiful. What's there to be angry about? Smile, smile!" I pulled at my face to make him laugh.

“You’re right this time. My new home is in Luoshuang Palace. Come visit me often when you have time,” I said to Li Jiu, pretending to be very relaxed.

Seeing that he didn't speak, I raised my bowl: "Come on, let's have a drink to celebrate moving into my new home!"

He looked at me with some heartache: "Are you really not bothered by how the Emperor treats you?"

"Mind?" As if I'd heard the most unbelievable thing in the world, I looked up at him. "Why would I mind?" I gazed into the distance. "Not everyone wants to be the emperor's woman. Li Jiu, do you know? In a place I know, not only are men and women equal, but everyone is equal. There's no distinction between rich and poor, no class, no noble or lowly. The country is based on its people, meaning everyone is a master of the country. People there live harmoniously and happily. Men and women have freedom in marriage, they marry based on love. Do you know that?" I smiled at him. "If a man likes a woman and wants to marry her, he has to do everything he can to please her, pursue her, and make her fall in love with him and willingly marry him. There also has to be a romantic proposal. Hehe. It's really interesting, really blissful. But it's so far away from me now." I sighed slightly.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression: "Love?! Romance?! What are those? Wei Ying, sometimes I really don't know why your head is filled with so many different things."

I laughed: "You should have heard that the fourth young lady of the Xie family was extremely unloved, and almost no one knew that the Xie family had a fourth young lady when she was young. As for me, I took this opportunity to travel around and visit various countries. Those were things I saw and learned when I passed through some small countries." I made it up.

He understood, and then asked, "Did you learn the dance you did that night on the way?"

"Are you there?" I asked him, raising my eyes.

"I am honored to have been invited by His Majesty."

"Oh." I smiled faintly and remained silent.

"Wei Ying, although I've always known you're different, I've never felt this way before—"

"how?"

"Wushuang. Weiying, sometimes I wonder if you're even from this world?"

Volume 2, Chapter 64, Courtyard Empty

"Xiao Quanzi, come help! Pull, hold that corner, I can't do it by myself!" I was holding the freshly washed white curtains, which were huge and I couldn't handle them by myself. I should learn from those old ladies washing clothes in TV dramas, where two people each hold one side of the curtain and shake it vigorously until it's flat and ready to hang it to dry.

"Coming, coming!" Xiao Quanzi replied, putting down what he was doing and running over.

After moving to the legendary Cold Palace, the first thing to do was clean it. Because no palace servants had cleaned it for so long, a layer of dust had accumulated everywhere. The white curtains had long since faded. The original paint on the pillars and eaves was peeling off in patches, like mottled patterns. While it had a certain artistic feel, a commoner like me couldn't appreciate it. I might stay here for the rest of my life; after all, this was starting to become another temporary home for me, so naturally I had to take good care of it. Otherwise, how could I survive if I lived here for three to five years?

Moreover, upon entering, I discovered many unusual "guests." They often wore faded, smelly white clothes, their hair disheveled and dirty, their expressions blank. They would sit listlessly in the corridor for entire days, a posture they had maintained for years. Indeed, they were all once favored, but had made mistakes, been framed, or had their framing discovered—in short, banished to this godforsaken place by that high and mighty man. For these women who deeply loved that man, the cruelest thing was that he had long forgotten them and would never remember them again. Forgotten by the man they loved, it's no wonder they all went mad or infatuated. All they knew how to do each day was wait for someone who would never appear here.

That person was the emperor, who was high above all others.

An emperor.

From the initial excitement of shouting "The Cold Palace, here I come!" on my first day here, to the current pangs of sorrow and heartache, these once beautiful women, ravaged by time and the cruel passage of imperial life, are now nothing more than soulless shells. I also feel that perhaps I can do something here, whether it's just to pass the time or to atone for that person's sins, I will take good care of them.

Looking at Xiao Quanzi, who was busy working alongside me but had a beaming smile on his face, I felt an indescribable sense of relief. Before deciding to come here, I told him not to follow me anymore, to find a good master so he wouldn't have to come to this dark and dreary place and would suffer less. But the child wouldn't listen, crying and insisting on coming with me. He even dared to threaten me that if I didn't take him, he wouldn't be able to fulfill his master's orders and would have to atone with his death. Since he had already mentioned the old man, I really couldn't do anything about it, so I had to let him have his way. And so he happily followed me here.

Yunying, with tears in her eyes, said she wanted to come with me, but she definitely couldn't. If she went in too, who would look after me outside? This spy-like job had to be left to her. Although I was worried about her, she and I grew up together, and I had always taught her how to disguise herself and what acting was. Besides, she was personally trained and nurtured by our elders to be an undercover agent by my side, and she also had a background in martial arts. Actually, my worries were a bit unnecessary.

This Frostfall Palace is actually quite large, almost as big as the palace of the Four Consorts. It's said to have been built by a previous emperor for his favorite concubine, but she later fell out of favor and was imprisoned here, gradually turning it into a nominal cold palace. This once luxurious and magnificent palace fell into disrepair; the spacious garden became overgrown with weeds, the lotus pond long since dried up, and the corners of the houses were covered in dust and cobwebs… Fortunately, there was an old well in the backyard. Although the yard had been abandoned for so long, the well still flowed with clear water. Xiao Quanzi and I drew a bucket up, and the water was surprisingly clean, cool, and sweet, which delighted me for a long time.

They tore down all the curtains, found a large wooden tub and a washboard, and began washing. Strangely enough, although the place looked desolate and old, it had once been luxurious, and all the necessary tools and items were there, just old, but still usable.

After washing all that stuff, I started mopping the floor, which was truly a chore. My back and shoulders ached terribly. Luckily, I had endured the torment of that damned little devil in my childhood, so I could still bear this pain. Even harder was figuring out how to persuade those ladies to take a bath and cleanse themselves. Sigh, they were all still stuck in their old Cinderella fairytale, and no matter how much I pleaded, it was no use. In the end, I had to resort to drastic measures.

My trump card, hehe. These women had been hoping for the emperor's renewed favor. I simply mentioned that the emperor was coming to see them, and told them to dress up beautifully and wait for his summons. These frenzied women immediately became obedient and gentle, letting me bathe and comb their hair, making them look presentable. In total, I managed to have over a dozen concubines. However, I met a special person, someone who will always be with me in the days to come.

This woman, one of these concubines, was named Su Da. She was extremely beautiful and alluring; even I, as a woman, was somewhat captivated by her. Because of her temporary favor with the emperor, coupled with her proud and difficult nature, she aroused jealousy and was eventually framed and demoted to this place.

As I was cleaning those mentally challenged women, she stood coldly to the side, dressed in white, watching me, and said coldly, "Idiot."

I was astonished. Of course, what astonished me at that moment wasn't her words, but that there was actually a normal person here! The women here were either driven mad by their longing for the emperor or driven mad by the loneliness of the monotonous days in the cold palace, but she was normal, not at all crazy or insane!! I hurriedly said to her with delight, "Hello, I'm Xie Weiying, I just arrived. Please come and help me."

She smiled dismissively: "Do you think what you're doing will make a difference? People who come here have already died of heart."

I stopped scrubbing one of the women's backs, straightened up, and calmly looked at her. I said calmly, "And you? Is your heart still beating? Since you've endured so much and lived so well until now, it means you still hate, still resent, and still cherish yourself. If that's the case, why say such self-destructive things? Weren't you abandoned by a man? What's the big deal? The earth keeps turning, life continues. Why talk about death?" I lowered my head and continued scrubbing the woman who was staring blankly into the distance, saying lightly, "If you want to, hurry up and help her."

She looked at me with her lips pursed, her eyes filled with stubbornness and defiance. After a long while, she sighed softly and turned to leave.

I first did a rough clean-up of all the rooms in Luoshuang Palace. Then I gave the ladies code names and made some name tags with numbers, which I hung around their necks. I then hung corresponding numbers in their rooms as identification. I reserved the room furthest to the side for myself; the outside was just over a wall.

I suddenly remembered Gao Lu telling me that Frostfall Palace was the closest part of the palace to the outside world. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel a little smug; wasn't this laying the groundwork for my future adventures?

By the time I had basically gotten everything sorted out, it was already late at night. I tossed and turned on the stiff bed, unable to sleep, and spent several hours tossing and turning. Finally, I got up and went to the outer room to retrieve the guitar that Xiao Quanzi hadn't forgotten to bring.

He leaped onto the roof, sat down, and the bright full moon overhead bathed him in its serene, golden light, illuminating the entire silent Frostfall Palace.

I tested the notes a few times, and then started to revise a few lyrics rather casually. I sang slowly and softly:

When will the spring flowers and autumn moon end?

How much do we know about the past?

The east wind blew again last night in the small building.

The moon shines brightly on my homeland, a sight I cannot bear to recall.

The carved railings and jade steps should still be there.