Supernatural Academy 3

Kapitel 15

I only caught the first half of his sentence before interrupting, "How do you make it disappear? Is it magic? Like David Copperfield, making an airplane and an elephant vanish from the audience's sight? That uses the principles of mirrors and refraction. And you? You're a physicist and a magician too? Then this rain is the refracted mirror..." I stopped talking before I could finish. My brain was a beat slow; my peripheral nerves were dead. It took me a full 30 seconds for that half-sentence to register before it stimulated my cerebral cortex and I realized what he was talking about.

A ghost is proposing to another ghost. What utterly ridiculous!

This story teaches us that girls should be a little more reserved and not readily consider someone a close friend. We should be mindful of our words; even if someone is my older brother, that doesn't mean they are my older brother. Luo Yi is a gentleman in my presence, but Luo Yi's friends won't automatically become gentlemen in mine. My friendship with Luo Yi was forged through life-or-death experiences, so what kind of friendship do I have with Brother Ma? My impulsive, overly familiar, and attention-seeking behavior is just asking for trouble. Of course, it's my fault; I was too enthusiastic, so I can't blame others for being so affectionate; I was too familiar with myself, so I can't blame others for treating me like family.

I said, "Brother Ma, you really love to joke." But seeing his serious face, which didn't seem like he was joking, I started to panic.

I said, "I'm pregnant." It sounded like I was pressuring the person who got me pregnant to marry me. I'm so clumsy with words.

So I changed my answer and said, "I have a lover." That made more sense.

I said, "I'm only twenty-two." But that's not a valid reason.

I said again, "I am a ghost."

I felt that this was the most boring sentence of all I had said, so I added, "My family is waiting for me to come back."

I said, "You're a ghost too. What kind of wife do you need? Besides, don't you already have a wife? That beautiful woman who died for you in her wedding dress?" I realized that what I said was wrong. It sounded like I would become his wife just because he didn't have one. Besides, someone like Brother Ma wouldn't treat that kind of thing as a big deal.

I concluded by saying, “There’s a child inside me, waiting for me to go back and give it a chance to be born. Brother Ma, although your proposal is an immense honor, I’ve come back to live on the past, and I must live. I can’t be your wife, because I can’t be happy just being a ghost. I have higher aspirations; I want to be a happy person. I want my parents to be alive, my husband to be the one I love, and my obedient children. I’ve found them; they’re watching over me every day, waiting for me to return. My lover even released river lanterns at the beginning of Ghost Month to beckon me back. I can’t let them down. Brother Ma, please help me.”

Little Ma shook his head and said, "You are already a ghost. Your life is just an illusion. You can die completely and cleanly in the next second. Your past life is over. If it weren't for the advanced technology of today, you would have died long ago. Your existence is absurd. A female ghost like you, whose soul and spirit are separated, is a once-in-a-millennium occurrence. You are my perfect wife."

His fallacies couldn't sway me at all; I'm a master of twisted logic myself. I said, "Technological progress is simply a natural consequence of the world's natural processes, something that will inevitably happen eventually. So many people who died from war, atomic bombs, viruses, car accidents, high-voltage power lines, blast furnaces, molten steel, and the overuse of antibiotics—they wouldn't have died in the past. They were victims of technology, so why can't I be a lucky one? Some suffer, some benefit. It's like buying a lottery ticket; everyone's worthless two dollars add up to the lucky winner's grand prize. Just like you said, I'm that once-in-a-millennium winner, so I'm the one who wins the grand prize. Even if this is a ghost world, and you're the master of this world, you can't stop the wheel of fortune from spinning. It's spun, and it's landed on me; I'm going to claim this grand prize."

Little Ma laughed mockingly at me, saying, "What are you going to use to exchange it? How are you going to exchange it?"

I looked him straight in the eye and said, "You. I'm relying on you to pay up. You're the owner of this casino, you set this up, you can definitely pay it all up."

"Why would I do this?" Little Ma smiled contemptuously and said, "I've always been a scoundrel, and I'll be a tyrant even in death. I can be dishonest, and I've never failed to get what I want."

I laughed loudly, "Really? What about your life? How old were you when you died? Were you thirty-five? Were you tired of your life, and ended your own glory in that world? You were so successful, even the superstar Luo Yi was just a money-making tool in your hands, were you really willing to give up everything there? If so, you wouldn't be clinging to your Fisherman's Wharf and refusing to leave. This is your little kingdom, you are the local emperor here, you must be extremely nostalgic for this kind of power and prestige, so you tried every means to come back and continue your imperial dream. You want to be Qin Shi Huang, don't you?"

Was my word too hurtful to his pride? Little Ma was furious and said, "Little girl, don't be ungrateful. If I wanted to, which woman in the world couldn't I have?" At this moment, Little Ma really had the aura of a triad boss. He was wearing a black suit and had a black umbrella. He was imposing and his eyes were like ice. If he had a gun, he could make a movie called "The Killer".

But I'm not afraid, I'm a ghost. I'm a ghost, what do I have to fear? Ten thousand years of loneliness once flowed before me, what could be more terrifying than the endless fall of time? I said, "You can capture and take any woman in the world, but not me. I'm not a woman, I'm a mother, I have my child in my belly, I didn't die completely for it, I risked my life and my half-heart for it, I know that carrying it is gambling with my life, I'm not even afraid of death, what do I have to fear? Brother Ma, even if you're the hooligan you call yourself, I'm a gambler. You set the odds, you're the house, I'm gambling with my life, my soul, my body, my child, I can't afford to lose. Brother Ma, those with shoes are afraid of those with bare feet, those with money are afraid of robbers, those with life are afraid of those who don't value it, you have what you want, I have what I want."

Little Ma didn't speak, but he was clearly not convinced by me. I don't know what got into him, suddenly wanting to marry me as his ghost wife. I'm neither pretty nor gentle, gossip is as abundant as rice porridge, and I'm pregnant with another man's child. What does he see in me? What did I do to make him think I'm so special, so remarkable that he wants to marry me? Maybe I'm just an extremely auspicious cabbage, appearing only once in a thousand years? Or perhaps a peach from heaven that blooms only once every three thousand years and bears fruit only once every three thousand years?

It's ridiculous. I'm just an ordinary woman, barely clinging to life, and yet, in my half-dead state, I've become a treasure.

I felt I had been quite persuasive, but he wouldn't listen, and he showed no intention of taking me home, so I had no choice but to go about my own business. I said, "Brother Ma, please let my brother out. He's so pitiful. He thought being a ghost would be a good thing, and having you as his idol would be nice too. You're his role model as a ghost. If he knew you were bullying his little sister like this, he'd be very disappointed." Poor Luo Yi, her life was in someone else's hands while she was alive, and now she suffers such torment even in death. There's nothing more tragic than this. At that moment, I looked down on Brother Ma a thousand times over, and despised him a thousand times over.

Public service advertisement? What public service advertisement? It's nothing but bait for him to gain fame and reputation, a whitewash for his tax evasion and money laundering. What good intentions could someone so wicked have?

Just then, a voice came softly from the rain, both surprised and delighted, both happy and afraid. It was so careful, so concerned. The voice was too soft for me to hear, but too loud for me to be frightened. The voice said, "Xiao Ye, is that you?"

I turned around and saw Wei Yiqing standing not far from me, his eyes burning with a fire that seemed capable of heating up all the rainwater of the day into boiling water, which would then be heated into steam and finally disappear into the air.

He said, "Xiaoye, I see you."

Love between a human and a ghost

He saw me. His eyes were burning.

I laughed, laughed and laughed, until I cried. My hands trembled, the umbrella swayed, raindrops pelted my face, and finally, tears welled in my parched eyes. All the raindrops on the ground were my tears. Heaven is heaven, earth is earth, so far apart. They stretch endlessly, an endless journey. Ancient heroes ran for ten thousand years without finding the end, tirelessly pursuing it from birth to death. I once wanted to tell him it was a never-ending question, as far as eternity, as vast as infinity. Heaven and earth will never meet.

But I was wrong.

The sky is the azure clouds, the sky is the wings of a divine bird, the sky is the earth's sky, and the earth is the sky's earth. Heaven and earth are inherently a circle, one becoming two and two becoming one, a beginning and an end. It is the four symbols and eight poles that endlessly rotate from the yin and yang fish, giving rise to all things, and all things returning to one heaven and earth. The rising earth energy becomes the azure clouds in the sky, and the accumulating cloud energy becomes a long, long string of raindrops. If so, how can one say that heaven and earth are eternally separated and cannot intersect? Rain is the essence and marrow of the earth, rain is the tears of the sky. Human tears transform illusory emotions into real matter, while the tears of the sky are the dancing spirits that connect heaven and earth. Just as the sky once sent snow in June for the unjustly killed Dou E, that snow was the sorrow and anger of heaven and earth, and I, standing in the weeping of heaven and earth, mourn my tearless weeping for myself and my beloved.

However, the distance between heaven and earth is just as far as the distance between humans and ghosts; heaven and earth are connected by rain, but what do humans and ghosts use to love each other? Originally, I was just an invisible and shadowless wandering soul, but Brother Ma brought me rain from five years in the future, giving my film of longing developing water. I only appear for the people I love and the people who love me, just to let them see me.

I smiled at him, but whispered to Brother Ma, "Brother Ma, don't you understand? No matter what your purpose is, I only have one goal. Look at him coming to me, willing to brave the corrosive acid rain. Look at me coming to him, willing to give up the chance to be reborn as a human. Some things in this world are not yours to have. There are always some things that are beyond your control. All your scheming is just to benefit others."

Everyone stayed indoors to avoid the rain, sheltered by thick concrete walls. Only my beloved, in order to call me back, was willing to be consumed by the rain. He would summon his lover back during the Ghost Month.

I stepped forward, smiling tenderly at him, and said, "Come hug me, let me kiss you. I want you to know how far I've traveled to get back here, just to hold you in my arms." I threw away my umbrella, stretched out my arms, and smiled through my tears. You know, the raindrops are my tears.

Kui Yiqing held me in his arms, not kissing me, just looking at me. He asked me with a hint of doubt, "Why are you here? Why don't you wake up? Are you a ghost or a spirit?" My longing, like lotus leaves on water, turned into raindrops, each one falling on him. If I hadn't firmly believed that someone loved me so much, I fear I wouldn't have reached this point. And his love, like a tide, overwhelmed me once more. Even without the burden of my seven souls and three spirits intertwined with emotions, I could still feel the power of love.

I replied, "I am not a ghost. I am not dead yet, how could I be a ghost? I am just a wisp of soul that has left my body and my emotions, drifting lightly to and fro. I have tried every means to return to my body. Please wait a little longer, I will be back soon." Even if I have to cross the black waters of the Wuli River again, and endure the piercing pain of a thousand arrows, I will treat it as a tribulation of a thousand needles. I am determined to go back.

He touched my face and stroked my lips, asking, "Why are you so cold? How far did you walk? Was it very tiring?"

I pressed my lips to his and said, "It's all worth it. You've been watching over me all this time, haven't you? It must have been hard for you too."

He smiled, his eyes overflowing with affection. "I know you won't give up. My little Ye is the bravest girl." He kissed me with all his might.

"Because I have nothing but courage." At birth, besides courage, we are truly born with nothing else. With courage, we can face the unknown world; countless hardships are overcome with courage. The courage of a simple man is actually the most respectable, because it is a do-or-die battle, a matter of life or death. So-called wisdom, strategy, and cunning are all born of cowardice and a fear of death. It's just that people are generally cowardly and fearful of death, thus bestowing too much praise upon them.

Through two raincoats, Wei Yiqing hugged me tightly. The raincoats rubbed against each other, raindrops mingled, and our lips met in the rain. My heart was struck again. Although I didn't know how deep my love for him was, I could feel how heavy his love was. I didn't know what I had done to deserve his love so much; I only knew that his love for me was as heavy as a mountain, and my love for him was as deep as water.

The power of love transcends the boundaries of life and death, allowing humans and ghosts to embrace. A joyful song sang in my heart. His raincoat was silver-gray, interwoven with fluorescent material, shimmering in the rainy night. Just like his love, so intense I could feel it even across the divide between life and death. He said passionately, "You have everything, you have me. Come back, come back to me." He hugged me tightly, and I returned his embrace. He said tenderly, "I've waited so long for your embrace." Such passionate love is worth everything I would give for him.

"How did you find me?" I asked him sweetly. Lovers often exchange empty words: when did you first notice me? When did you start loving me? What did we do when we first met? Do you remember what I was wearing that day? We ask for confirmation again and again, repeating it endlessly, seemingly enjoying it immensely.

“I’ve come to release a river lantern. I said last night that as long as it can bring you back, I’ll come every day, rain or thunder won’t stop me,” he said. “But as soon as I arrived, I saw you. Your raincoat is lemon yellow, such a bright color, I saw it at a glance.”

I chuckled, overjoyed. "Releasing river lanterns on a rainy day, aren't you afraid the rain will extinguish them?"

He said, "Don't worry, I brought a lamp with a glass shade today. You saw the lamp I put out yesterday, didn't you?" He smiled, his smile as gentle as a spring breeze, wiping away the last traces of my sorrow.

“I saw it,” I said. “You set it off yesterday and you’re setting it off again today? Afraid the raindrops would shatter the candlelight, you installed a glass window for love. I turned into lemon yellow, wanting my light to have the longest wavelength. You were dyed with fireflies, shining in the dark night. I traversed yin and yang, you guided me when I was lost. You lit a river lantern for me, pointing me home. I embraced you on the dark sea.” I immediately composed a limerick and dedicated it to my lover.

My lover laughed heartily and joined me in composing a couplet: "Without you, I'm driven mad with loneliness. Without your laughter, I heal my wounds alone." It seems we really are an incredibly cheesy couple. Before, I don't know how I ever talked nonsense, but he picked up my doggerel so skillfully; it's clear he's used to it. I hugged his neck, resting my body against his chest, my head barely reaching his shoulder. Such a lovely person, and he's my lover! Heaven has truly been kind to me. From now on, I'll never say I'm a bad person again. If I weren't, how could he love me so deeply? Even when I was lying down, he still wouldn't leave me?

He looked like he hadn't smiled like that in a long time; the muscles in his face were a little stiff. My heart ached when I saw him like that, and I promised him, "It'll be soon. I've traveled all over the place; I'll wake up soon. You should go back. This rain isn't good for people. If you get sick and lie down, we'll both become fellow sufferers."

His gaze and fingers lingered on my face. He cupped my face and kissed it, saying, "But I can't bear to part with you. It's been so long since you spoke to me. I miss your voice. You're so cold, so cold. Are you in pain?"

But he was very hot, his face was flushed, and his eyes were glazed over. I knew he was already suffering from the effects of the rain. I pulled him to Chen Bulang's car and said, "Go back and wait for me. I'll be back soon." I opened the car door, pushed him inside, and woke Chen Bulang, saying, "Brother Chen, could you take my boyfriend to the Red Cross Hospital? He's sick, and he's a doctor there. Once he gets there, someone will take care of him."

Chen Brown woke up groggily, agreed, and started the car. Wei Yiqing held my hand tightly, saying, "Xiao Ye..." I smiled and said, "You're a doctor, you should know you're sick. What will I do if you're sick?" He nodded, let go of my hand, and said, "Don't wait too long, I'm already tired of waiting." He really was tired; his face was ashen, and his breathing was labored. I was secretly alarmed, worried that his illness might be very serious. I regretted talking to him so much in the rain. Every minute I stayed a little longer, I became a little stronger, while he became a little weaker. I leaned down and kissed him, closed the car door, and said to Chen Brown, "Thank you." Chen Brown waved and drove off.

I turned to face the big boss. My journey has been an adventurous game, with one obstacle after another. I have overcome one challenge after another, and now victory is in sight. But the big boss is blocking my way. If I don't defeat him, I cannot be reborn.

Little Ma looked at me under the umbrella, I wondered what he was thinking. I think my joyful expression must have upset him, his face was terribly gloomy. I said with a grin, "Little Ma, helping others is the best thing. If you help us, you'll have built a seven-plus-eighty-five-story pagoda, a seven-plus-eighty-fifty-six-story pagoda. With so many pagodas, you'll be a highly respected monk at Shaolin Temple, an elder or abbot of the pagoda forest. Every July from now on, I'll burn money for you. Being kind to me is just a small favor for you. Little Ma, giving roses leaves a lingering fragrance. What use is my little soul to you?"

I really don't understand, what does he see in me? Is he out of his mind? What kind of marriage is this, between two ghosts?

Little Ma looked at me for a long time, then suddenly said, “The more you talk, the more resolute my feelings become. You want to know why? I’m not afraid to tell you, I just love your mind. You talk nonsense, rambling on and on, and I can never guess what you’ll say next. I’ve never met anyone like you in my life; you give me a fresh feeling. The women around me before were either after my money or infatuated with my power; they were either coquettish or obsequious. I also want someone who can be a true soulmate. There’s an end to being human, but there’s no end to being a ghost. The nights are long, and even the most pleasure-seeking will eventually become tiresome. I’m tired of finding a girl every day, starting with her name, repeating the same thing every day. I want someone to talk to, to chat about anything and everything, someone who is witty, humorous, and has a lively and lovely personality.”

I said doubtfully, "Just for this? Why don't you find a storyteller or a Pingtan performer? They can talk, sing, and act; aren't they more interesting than me?" Damn it, I've become a source of amusement for men. I'm a perfectly respectable woman. "Why don't you go find Master Ye or Director Li? They have rich imaginations and boundless entertainment spirit." Of course! Ladies and young ladies can put on their cards and play the roles of young actresses anytime; aren't they more interesting than me? "The people who came up with this idea are still alive, but it's easy for you to crush them. Anyway, the whole country has this wicked heart; if you do it, you'll be ridding the people of a scourge."

Little Ma laughed heartily, and I bit my tongue in regret. Had I become even more adorable in his eyes? So, there really are people in this world who are loved for their inner beauty and intelligence? To hell with it, this is all a mess. So, a chivalrous hero is more romantic than a little girl like me? Nobody believes it. Little Ma said, "I think I know why your lover loves you. Why belittle yourself? A woman's appearance is just a shell; in the eyes of us ghosts, those things are unimportant. In my previous life, I only loved beautiful women, but now I'm thinking of changing my taste; I think intelligence is more important."

I was extremely annoyed and said, "So, Brother Ma can recite the 'Memorial to the Throne'? My apologies. Does Wang Laohu need Zhuge Liang's wisdom to steal the bride? Brother Ma, you were a gangster in life, and you'll be a mafia member in death. Why change your style and try to be a scholar? Even if you put on a doctor's robe, you're still a member of the Black Society. If you want to clean up your act, just put on a doctor's coat, and you're still a KKK. In short, you're a gunfight horror movie, and I'm a romantic drama; we're not on the same wavelength. You, Brother Ma, should be smoking cigars and handling guns, while I, Xia Ye, should be having babies and washing diapers." My disgust for him was palpable, and my words became increasingly impolite. Then, glancing at a corner of white gauze, I felt a sense of relief and said, "Brother Ma, your wife is here. You don't need to start by asking her 'What's your name, Miss?'"

A beautiful woman in a wedding dress appeared gracefully in the rain, her white gown making her look like a fairy descending to earth. I just don't understand, what's wrong with her, why doesn't she suit Little Ma's taste?

Nine Yin White Bone Claw

If Leng Qingqing is a cold and aloof beauty, then Mrs. Ma is a glamorous and flamboyant beauty. Although both of them love to wear white, their styles are completely different. Logically speaking, since Leng Qingqing is human and Mrs. Ma is a ghost, the impressions they give to others should be reversed. However, the inherent differences in their personalities create this mismatch, which is so abrupt that it's both funny and absurd.

Mrs. Ma walked gracefully into the rainy night, her wedding dress dripping wet and muddy, looking more like a vengeful ghost than any wronged spirit. Her face was fierce and menacing, her teeth clenched, her eyebrows raised, and her eyes slanted. If I hadn't been terrified by Luo Yi's handsome face and sharp teeth yesterday, I would have been scared out of my wits. Of course, "scared out of my wits" is just a figure of speech, a rhetorical device used to describe how terrifying Mrs. Ma's appearance was, not that my soul or spirit was about to have any problems. My fragmented soul, like the loose silver in the bag of a down-on-his-luck swordsman wandering a desolate village in a martial arts novel, is scattered, broken, deformed, and fragmented; it can't withstand even the slightest problem.

Given my familiarity with various genres and their varying degrees of intensity—American mystery soap operas, Hong Kong TVB long-running slapstick dramas, Japanese quirky and eccentric comedies, Korean melodramas about sibling love and family dramas, domestic prime-time dramas about fighting over the remote control, and Taiwanese tearjerkers' stories of exhausting vocals, slaps, tears, and idiotic emotional manipulation—I was a little apprehensive about Mrs. Ma's shrewish demeanor. Her expression, so convincingly accusing someone of adultery, made me, the innocent homewrecker, the hapless third party in this ridiculous soap opera.

I'm so wronged! I'm more wronged than Dou E! The black rain of July turned into white snow of June, even the heavens are weeping for me.

Mrs. Ma approached us, first giving Brother Ma a sidelong glance, and said, "Aren't you going home for dinner? All you do is fool around with wild women outside. The grass in your own yard has grown up to your bedside."

If it weren't for the rain and the wet ground, I would have knelt down before Mrs. Ma on the spot. Those two sentences were quite remarkable; I was utterly impressed. I even gave Mr. Ma a disdainful look, just like Mrs. Ma had, thinking, "Hmph, isn't someone like that interesting? Are you blind?" But this little devil of mine is not only interesting, but also very sensible. If I spoke at this moment, it would be like drawing fire to myself; I'd be crazy to do that.

Little Ma's cold, piercing eyes gleamed from behind his full-price glasses. Without even glancing at Mrs. Ma, he said, "Stop embarrassing yourself here. Go somewhere cool. Who do you think you are, daring to interfere in my affairs? You really think you're someone important to me? The old folks did things without my permission, why should I acknowledge them? Look at you, acting like a madwoman, are you infatuated? Get away from me, don't show your face in front of me."

Among the outcasts of the martial arts world, none is more dejected and disillusioned than the one-armed swordsman Yang Guo. During his sixteen long years of lonely wandering in the desolate mountains, he created a set of fist techniques called the "Heart-wrenching Palm," each move a name meticulously crafted and a direct expression of his inner turmoil. In truth, even ghosts are outcasts, not much different from those disillusioned heroes. Therefore, the unique creations of the Condor Heroes serve as the best illustration. At this point, the words that need to be added next to Mrs. Ma are "absent-minded," while my annotation is "dumbfounded," and for Brother Ma, it's "acting perversely."

Brother Ma, acting perversely, refused to acknowledge his wife. His wife, distraught, wept and cried, saying, "Brother Ma, we had all the proper marriage certificates—the marriage certificate in this world, the marriage decree in the underworld, the birth dates, and both sets of parents were all present. I tolerated your philandering, but I absolutely forbade you to take a concubine. What's so good about this woman? She's short and small, ugly, with a tiny nose and eyes like a weasel, not even as good as a vixen. Brother Ma, when did you change your ways and become fond of scholars? Then I'll start studying tomorrow, okay?"

I endured it all, almost to the point of internal injury, and nearly wanted to ask someone for a Nine-Flower Jade Dew Pill. But I've always been law-abiding, following the teachings of Yi Shu, and when I couldn't bear it any longer, I endured it all again. I endured until I was breathless, and then I chuckled through my teeth, which enraged Mrs. Ma. She rushed over, brandishing her fingernails, her long, sharp nails aiming straight for my eyes. So she was a disciple of Mei Chaofeng's school? Mrs. Ma said viciously, "I'll kill this little brat first."

Since I'm a chicken, I'm not to blame for being so quiet until I crow, or for soaring into the sky when I finally do. I screamed, jumped aside, and cried out for help: "Uncles, aunts, sisters-in-law, grandfathers, grandfathers, grandmothers, sisters, come out! Brother Ma is bullying me and trying to force me to be his concubine! Mrs. Ma is accusing me of seducing her husband and wants to tear me apart! Please, elders, come out and save me! Brother Ma asked for your help just the other day, and now I'm in trouble, so I have no choice but to ask for your help."

Mr. and Mrs. Ma never expected me to pull such a stunt; their jaws dropped on the spot.

At this moment, a series of hissing sounds and whispers arose from the side, accompanied by rustling noises. One by one, ghosts appeared in the darkness. Every raindrop reflected light, every rain line was a mirror reflecting light. The ghosts gathered again on Fisherman's Wharf, indistinct and varied in shape, their laughter rising and falling, mocking, laughing, and scorning, almost turning the parking lot into a laughter contest.

Overjoyed, I first bowed deeply at a ninety-degree angle, then asked, "Esteemed seniors, does anyone know how I can return to my body in this state?" I don't necessarily need to rely on Little Ma, do I? Among these ghosts, some are living fossils, what haven't they seen and experienced? This young upstart has only been here for the last two years, how come he's so powerful, able to command the wind and rain, and far more capable than the old folks? However, I also had my doubts. Such a massive undertaking as summoning rain five years in the future doesn't seem like something these useless fools could pull off. Besides skill and methods, wouldn't that require a certain domineering aura?

Sure enough, the group of coffin-stuffed men shook their heads, and the elegant, unconventional man from the Jin Dynasty, dressed in flowing robes, said, "This place is very nice, why leave? Life is short, so why not take a night stroll?" With that, he left.

I called out twice, and the scholar in his elaborate hat and robes, a figure from the pre-Qin era, drifted away indifferently, reciting: "My steps are faltering, my heart trembles. Those who know me say I am worried, those who do not know me ask what I seek." What a nuisance this old rascal is here, indulging in his melancholy lament. I coldly said, "Oh, heavens, who is this man! This good-for-nothing!" Fortunately, he didn't understand the meaning of the two words I added, and continued his lamentation as he drifted away.

The older folks, mostly cautious and self-protective, simply bowed and said it was none of their business, remaining aloof. Only the young talents of the last century or two had any backbone. A May Fourth Movement youth in a Zhongshan suit stepped forward and said, "Anti-feudalism, anti-oppression! The young lady doesn't want this; you can't do this." The successful man in a suit said, "You did say the other day that we should lend a hand if we saw it. Now that we've seen it, we naturally won't stand idly by. You've been the boss for a long time; you haven't handled this well, it's time for a change." Little Ma sneered, "What? You want to take over?" The man in the suit said, "Of course not. According to the old rules, whoever ousts you takes over. Isn't that how you got there?"

Little Ma looked around at the ghosts, laughed loudly, and said, "Then who of you will come?"

The crowd silently retreated, even the radical May Fourth Movement youths took two steps back. A chill ran down my spine; I hadn't expected things to turn out this way. I thought "all men are created equal" was just Mr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream, impossible in reality. It seems even equality among ghosts is impossible here. This place is like a small-scale underworld, where to become the boss you have to fight your way through. Little Ma hasn't been a member long, yet he's already the boss, and judging from their tone, he earned it through skill—skills that these old ghosts can't match. I called in reinforcements, but they were all defeated under the big boss, a bunch of useless trash, just cannon fodder left behind.

I stood in the middle, utterly disappointed, and asked, "Don't you all know? How come you ghosts have no ambition at all? You don't even bother to learn any new skills, just letting the younger generation climb over you? Is this some kind of cutting-edge technology that nobody knows about? Is it really true that no one but me has ever tried it? You guys are truly hopeless."

The ghosts, utterly humiliated by my complaints, vanished. The man in the suit passed by and said, "Miss, it's not that we don't want to help, but we're simply powerless to do so. Don't worry, we won't go far; we'll be there to cheer you on. Figure it out yourself." Then he disappeared.

Seeing these cowards only made Little Ma laugh even more gleefully. I'd given him a good show for nothing, entertained him for nothing, and left me furious and helpless. Even the veterans couldn't handle him, so what great things could a nobody like me possibly accomplish? Whatever I did, it was just pointless fuss.

"There has never been a savior, nor do we rely on gods or emperors. To create human happiness, we must rely entirely on ourselves." I sang "The Internationale" in my heart again to encourage myself, and then went to Mrs. Ma to plead, "Sister-in-law, I really don't have that idea. Can you persuade him? Maybe he'll listen to you. Your first two sentences when you told him to go back for dinner were very forceful, but unfortunately, what you said afterward was meaningless. Why should you change yourself for him? You should let him discover your own good qualities."

When Mrs. Ma heard this, she didn't get angry or get angry. Instead, she started discussing husband-taming techniques with me, asking, "Really? Did I really sound like a first wife in my first two sentences? So what did I say wrong?"

I said, "Your statement that you'll start studying tomorrow is completely unnecessary. If he doesn't like you, he won't even turn a page of an encyclopedia. If he does like you, he won't think you're bookish even if you use Baidu and Google."

Mrs. Ma was skeptical and asked, "Then why did he say he liked your eloquence? Why did he want you to chat and joke with him?"

I answered bluntly, "Does being eloquent necessarily require studying? Then Wei Xiaobao would be the top scholar."

Mrs. Ma didn't care at all who Wei Xiaobao was; she was just skeptical of what I said and asked, "Then what was his purpose? You're not good-looking either."

"I may not be good-looking, but you don't have to keep saying it, do you?" I was annoyed, so I said irritably, "Him? He's just obsessed. That's Northeastern dialect. In Shanghainese, it's 'his brain is all messed up,' in Cantonese, it's 'sticky thread,' in Sichuanese, it's 'nerve short circuit.' In Mandarin, it's 'this person is sick!'"

Mrs. Ma immediately became unhappy when she saw me speaking ill of her husband, and said, "You're the one who's sick! You're the one who's obsessed, you're the one with a mental disorder, you're the one with a screw loose! Your whole family is sick! Obsessed! Mentally disordered! Screw loose!"

I shrugged and said to Little Ma, "See? How can you not like such a lovely wife?"

Brother Ma was left speechless and exasperated by the two of us women. He felt utterly humiliated and that his wife was disrespecting him. He grabbed Mrs. Ma, dragged her over, and yelled, "Someone like you, who can be completely manipulated with just a few words, does she even deserve to be my wife? I'll slap you to death!"

Mrs. Ma burst into tears, saying, "I'm already dead, you can't kill me! I died for you, don't you feel any remorse? When we were alive, we were so loving and affectionate, how come you changed your heart as soon as I became a ghost? Even though you had many women before, you never said you wanted to marry another. When you got tired of your drinking and carousing, you would always come back to eat the mung bean porridge I cooked for you. How come you don't want me anymore now that you're a ghost? I know, you've become a ghost, you don't need porridge anymore, so you don't need your cook anymore. You heartless wretch, I died for you, and you're still not satisfied? What do you want from me? Do you want me to die again?"

A melodramatic soap opera was playing out right in front of me. I couldn't stand watching this couple's charade, so I yelled, "Shut up!" They both turned to look at me. I bowed to them and said, "Please, have mercy on me. This kind of drama is utterly unwatchable. Brother Ma, please tell me how I can get back into my body. What's the point of dragging me into this mess? Your wife risked her life for you, aren't you even a little bit moved?"

Suddenly, Brother Ma gritted his teeth and stamped his foot, saying, "How can I like a woman who cries like this?" Huh, he started complaining to me.

I chuckled and said, "The scenery is always more beautiful when viewed from across the river. You didn't see how I cried for my lover, my eyes almost popped out. Didn't I say far more mushy things than you? Your wife treats you well, she's so devoted to you. If it were me, I'd be estranged from you, what would be the point? My heart isn't with you anyway." This guy's really out of his mind, insisting on marrying a woman who looks down on him. It's true what they say, people are like candles; they won't light unless you light them.

Little Ma said, "I think it's best if you don't have feelings. Once you have feelings, it's either life or death or love and romance, which is troublesome."

I was speechless, completely stumped by his words. It was rare for me to be speechless. After a while, I finally said, "Don't joke about people's disabilities; it's too cruel." Little Ma looked at me blankly, bewildered. I sighed and explained, "Do you think only those without hands or feet, deafness or blindness, are disabled? How can lacking emotions not be a disability? I'm severely incomplete; you just can't see it. Jia Baoyu once sang: 'If the sky is missing a corner, Nuwa can fill it; if my heart is missing a corner, it can't be mended. I'm even lacking emotions; if I don't go back to find and fill it, I won't even be a complete ghost.'"