Ouyang Xiao leaned against the light green phone booth at the entrance of No. 1 Middle School, intently gazing in the direction where Song Jing was supposed to appear. The bus stopped and started, gradually becoming bustling, but the figure he wanted to see was nowhere to be seen in the crowd. There was not a trace of impatience on his handsome face, and deep in his eyes, as time passed, the light of expectation grew stronger and stronger.
It's already April.
The wind still carried a chill, and the camphor trees, their tender green leaves beginning to fall, cascaded down in layers of varying shades, creating a unique and charming scene. White magnolia blossoms were budding, their delicate fragrance already spreading. Purple and pale yellow flowers bloomed in the flowerbeds, swaying gently in the breeze.
Ouyang Xiao's mind went blank; the whole world—black, white, and color—was none of his concern.
"You are beautiful, but your emotional world is empty. No one would die for you. Yes, an ordinary passerby might think my rose is no different from you, but she alone is more important than all of you combined, because I water her, I cover her with a glass dome, I erect a screen for her, and I shelter her from the rain. I kill the caterpillars on her body, I listen to her hailstorms, or her boasting, and sometimes even her silence, because she is my rose."
I don't remember which semester or when I read the English version of "The Little Prince," but the passage I memorized is exceptionally clear now.
Song Jing and him.
Ouyang Xiao never seriously considered Song Jing's feelings. He didn't protect her, didn't listen to her troubles, and didn't understand her silence.
He did nothing; he simply waited wholeheartedly, waiting for her to catch up, waiting for her to be worthy and confident enough to stand beside him and hold his hand.
He couldn't recall a single word of the confident words he once spoke. It was like a joke; after traveling so far, reaching this point, he realized his naiveté, his innocence, his cruelty. He had thought it was for both of them, that it was the best way. All for the sake of being together forever.
“Ouyang Xiao…”
Song Jing stared blankly at him, clutching the steamed bun. He looked at her dazed and silly expression, then suddenly pressed his forehead and chuckled softly.
How could this be...?
How could this happen so suddenly...?
Do you want to cry?
Ouyang Xiao had never felt happy, except for that period when he was practicing the violin in the classroom, his mind mostly focused on a certain sound. The person quietly tiptoed closer, hunched over, wishing they could shrink to a tiny size, quickly placed a white box on the windowsill, and swiftly retreated.
The speed was like a bullet leaving a gun barrel.
Really...
That's hilarious!
He would wake up laughing even in his nightmares just thinking about that scene.
That's the person he likes!
The only person I liked so seriously and so very seriously!
"Ouyang?" A questioning voice brushed past his ear, and Ouyang Xiao straightened up and turned around. Song Jing was holding breakfast in her hands, tilting her head and looking straight at him. Her eyes were deep and dark, seemingly bottomless, revealing not a trace of emotion.
Ouyang Xiaochao extended her hand and said softly, "Come with me."
"What?"
Ouyang Xiao repeated, "Come with me."
Song Jing hesitated for a few seconds and said, "Wait a minute." After a pause, she said, "I'll go ask for leave."
Ouyang Xiao frowned.
Song Jing's heart skipped a beat, and he said, "I'll go with you."
Ouyang Xiao was a spell, gripping Song Jing's soft spot. Led by Ouyang Xiao, Song Jing walked quickly, joy overshadowing her sorrow. Her heart pounded faster and faster, and her head began to feel oxygen-deprived. If only… no, if a god existed in this world, then, could you grant my fervent request: let this moment last forever.
The two walked hand in hand silently down the street, attracting the attention of many passersby who turned back to look at them with surprised expressions. After all, it was during school hours, and walking hand in hand in school uniforms at this time was bound to draw attention! Unfortunately, the two seemed rather oblivious, pretending not to notice the stares.
Walk from Xueyuan Road to Guoqing Road, then cross Renmin Road, and finally stop at Central City Square.
Although having such thoughts was inappropriate, Song Jing really wanted to cry.
Love is never fair. Before she even realized this, she was deeply bound by that person, feeling nothing for anyone else, neither emotionally nor otherwise. Meanwhile, he was in a very high position, unreachable no matter how hard she tried. Reality is cruel enough to make you want to scream and break down. No! If she can't even control herself, if she becomes a detestable weakling, increasingly unworthy of him, then she doesn't even have the right to cry.
Knowing this clearly, Song Jing could not relax and enjoy her teenage years.
However, despite feeling guilty, being able to hold this person's hand and walk quietly down the street, through the bustling crowd, brings unparalleled happiness, and one would not regret dying at this moment.
"Do you like ice cream?" the person asked, looking down at her.
Song Jing felt a rush of heat to her face, quickly turned her head away, and answered with difficulty, "It's...it's alright..."
"Wait for me a moment." After saying that, he let go of her hand.
In that instant, a sense of loss overwhelmed Song Jing.
While waiting for Ouyang Xiao to return, Song Jing remained in a dazed and lost state. In truth, she wondered if she was dreaming. If it really was…
"Then I'd better not wake up," Song Jing murmured to himself.
"What did you say?" Ouyang Xiao asked casually, handing over the ice cream in her hand.
Song Jing accepted the very fancy-looking ice cream, lowered her eyes to hide her emotions, and softly said, "No." If she was seen through, she might as well just bang her head against a wall.
Ouyang Xiao stared at her for a while, then suddenly turned his head and said, "It's been a long time. You seem to have grown a little bit."
Song Jing blushed immediately, stammering, "Wh...what..."
Ouyang Xiao covered his eyes with his hand and said, "Hey!"
Song Jing fidgeted, managing to utter, "Wh...what?"
Ouyang Xiao curled the corners of his lips: "I say, let's switch to combat mode."
Song Jing was taken aback: "What combat mode?"
Ouyang Xiao suddenly stood up irritably and paced back and forth. In the morning sunlight streaming into the square, the trees, people, and statues were bathed in a golden glow. Children were flying kites; huge white butterflies fluttered gracefully into the sky. The children cheered and ran excitedly. Song Jing, holding an ice cream cone, remained motionless for a long time. Ouyang Xiao stopped pacing, covered her eyes with the back of her hand again, and muttered in a defeated tone, "Really… looking at you… I'm completely speechless!"
This has been happening for a long time; even though I try to act normal, I still can't help but tremble slightly.
Such a special person absolutely cannot be let go.
She didn't even realize how much quiet strength she gave people.
That feeling of time standing still, as if sitting next to her, made me feel that even forever wouldn't matter.
Ouyang Xiao lowered her arm and smiled slightly: "Where shall we begin?"
Song Jing looked at Ouyang Xiao and suddenly felt something was off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He could only ask, "What do you mean, where do we begin?"
Ouyang Xiao ignored her and said directly, "You should have heard about my parents, right?"
Song Jing said, "I've only heard others mention it."
Ouyang Xiao laughed: "Then you should know... that my current mother is not my biological mother."
Song Jing's eyes widened suddenly, and he exclaimed, "What?"
Ouyang Xiao seemed to be talking to herself: "So you didn't know anything! I thought... someone would definitely tell you. After all, that's a very famous thing."
Song Jing grabbed Ouyang Xiao's sleeve worriedly, and accidentally, the ice cream fell to the ground.
Ouyang Xiao said, "The beautiful mother couldn't keep the unfaithful father. Jealousy gnawed at her heart, and every day felt like living in hell, yet she couldn't help but hope that he would turn back and look at her... This thought was finally worn down to nothing in the daily waiting. The young son, who didn't understand anything, tugged at his mother's trouser leg, crying for his father... When his mother asked him a question, he chose his father without hesitation... The mother, who had collapsed, no, should be said to have gone mad, cooked her child's favorite lotus seed porridge... I don't know why the lotus seed porridge tasted strange that day, I didn't want to eat it at all... But my mother's expression was even more terrifying. I reluctantly drank it, only to have it slapped away... My mother went mad and drank the rest of the lotus seed porridge... She was really terrifying... She walked around with a knife, locked and unlocked the door, and finally... suddenly collapsed..."
Song Jing covered Ouyang Xiao's mouth, looking at him and said, "Don't say anymore."
Ouyang Xiao's big eyes were filled with tears, but he described the incident in a calm tone, as if nothing had happened, as if he were saying, "Ah, the weather is really nice today." This made Song Jing's heart ache.
Ouyang Xiao calmly pulled Song Jing's hand down and held it, continuing with a smile, "Mother died just like that, and Father still married someone else. It's ridiculous! I really don't know what she was so obsessed with. That man had absolutely nothing about him that made you think, 'Ah, this man is really nice, very reliable'... Why did she still do that? She didn't hesitate to kill her young child so that he would remember her for the rest of his life... When I grew up and read the suicide note she left behind, I..." He looked at Song Jing, "...I've always liked people who won't give up once they've set their sights on something. I like them so much, so much that... I couldn't help but want to kill them so that they would belong to me forever."
Song Jing didn't say anything, just watched him quietly, then pulled Ouyang Xiao down to sit, and rested her head on his knees.
"You absolutely cannot give up!"
Song Jing gave a soft "hmm".
The peach blossoms of early spring had already bloomed once, their petals falling from the branches, creating a strangely poignant beauty. Large white butterflies fluttered in the air, soaring higher and higher, free in the wind. Song Jing gently leaned against Ouyang Xiao's knees, silently shedding tears. Those unspeakable sorrows could only be released through crying, and since he could no longer shed tears, she would cry her heart out for him.
"ah--"
The child screamed in surprise.
Watching the large butterfly soar higher and higher until it disappeared into the clouds, Song Jing softly said, "It's free now."
How should I say it? How should I say it? How should I say it...
The bitterness of waiting seemed to vanish; Song Jing had truly entered the deepest recesses of Ouyang Xiao's heart. From then on, she would obediently accept her fate and be good... If they could be together forever, no, they absolutely had to be together forever. The youthful exuberance that should have been there was worn down by the passing years of waiting, leaving her calm, composed, and collected. It wasn't weariness, but rather a deepening of emotion, like fine wine that only grows stronger with age. The intense emotions that erupted were no less than a magnitude 6 earthquake.
She understands better than anyone! Ouyang Xiao, who doesn't like to talk and has always kept himself well hidden, must have struggled a lot to say these words to her now.
Such a proud person!
Between April and June, many things happened. First, Song Jing's younger brother refused to go to high school, had a big fight with his family, ran away from home for three days, and returned after his parents gave in. Another major event was that Song Jing's family moved to the city. As for Ouyang Xiao, his family had already settled in the city long ago.
That day, Ouyang Xiao brought Song Jing home. Song Jing met the woman; though over forty, she still possessed the youthful energy of a young girl. Ouyang Xiao and the woman seemed to get along very well, playfully teasing each other. But once inside, Ouyang Xiao said calmly, "Since it's a fait accompli, why should I make things difficult for her and make myself even more unhappy?"
If there were a mirror, the real Ouyang Xiao reflected in it would surely be a gloomy, dark, and treacherous dangerous person.
This was Ouyang Xiao's way of getting Song Jing closer to him, and his attempt to comfort her was almost instinctive.
***
"Um?"
"What?" Ouyang Xiao looked up from his book.
"It's nothing." Song Jing continued working on the Chinese reading comprehension questions.
After a while, Song Jing couldn't help but poke Ouyang Xiao's arm with his pen: "Hey!"
"Huh? What's wrong?"
"We're lucky, aren't we?"
"Um?"
Song Jing frowned and said softly, "We are not enemy families, nor do we have any conflict of interest... so we can be very simple..."
Song Jing didn't continue, but Ouyang Xiao understood what she meant. She released her grip on the pen, grabbed Song Jing's hand, squeezed it, and said, "Mm."
We were so lucky to meet when we were so young. Back then, we were so innocent, believing in so many things. And I loved you, so very much, enough to give up the whole world for you. But oh, I was so lucky. You didn't need me to give up the whole world, because you loved me too, so very much. Our mutual love is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened in this world.
Starting in April, after Ouyang Xiao found Song Jing, they met every Saturday and Sunday. They sat together in silence, silently doing exercises and memorizing texts. Time passed by them in silence.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
It's almost Saturday.
Song Jing had never thought of Saturday as a joyful day before, but now, as the day drew closer, her smile grew wider and wider, impossible to contain. A sweet, silly smile, so full of happiness. Ouyang Xiao was the Little Prince, while Song Jing was the tamed little fox; Saturday had become a different kind of rice paddy.
"Ouyang Xiao." The girl walking quietly beside him called him by his full name. He turned his head slightly to look at her. She was wearing a white shirt, a black tie, and a pleated skirt, but her eyes were fixed straight ahead.
"What?"
She simply called his name again: "Ouyang Xiao".