I put my arm around the strong man's slender waist

Chapter 65

Yan Shu, if only you hadn't killed Jinglian. Whether people live or die, how many people you've killed is none of my concern, but you killed Jinglian.

Yan Shu, you deserved your punishment, didn't you?

In the still of the night, mist drifted in through the carved windows, appearing hazy like a wisp of gauze in the pale light.

I heard a faint sound as the knife tip pierced Yan Shu's body. Yan Shu's eyes widened in shock as he looked at me.

I saw myself reflected in his bright eyes, pale and expressionless, while my hands trembled, and warm blood spilled onto my palms.

Yan Shu suddenly whispered very softly, "It hurts... Su Xie..."

His fingers gripped me tightly, his brows furrowed in pain, as if he were about to cry, yet he obediently sat there without moving or flinching.

The knife could no longer pierce through; my fingers trembled violently, the trembling spreading from my fingertips to every part of my body, an uncontrollable shaking.

He suddenly grabbed my hand, his lips pale with pain, his misty eyes filled with tears, yet he grinned foolishly at me, "I don't hurt anymore... Su Xie doesn't hurt anymore, don't be angry..."

A drop of blood hit the candle, hissed, and the flame flickered and went out.

In this extremely quiet night, I suddenly thought of Yan Shu from the past...

"It was like I was having a very, very long dream... There was a huge fire, there were dead people, just like when I was a child, I thought I was going to die... Everyone wanted me to die, there was no hope, no one reached out to help me... Then I heard you call my name..."

“Yan Shu, you’re having a nightmare. It’s all just a dream. Yan Shu, don’t be afraid…” He pressed his forehead against my chest, a smile playing on his lips. “Su Xie, you’re really annoying.”

"Su Xie, I wish I could sever your tendons and imprison you by my side, making it impossible for you to move an inch..."

Which one is him?

Yan Shu reached out and touched my face. My forehead was covered in cold sweat. I frowned and said in a panic, "It doesn't hurt, Su Xie, it doesn't hurt... Don't cry..."

Did I cry?

I saw myself in Yan Shu's bright eyes, and I didn't even realize when I started crying.

I pulled out the dagger, but my fingers slipped and it clattered to the ground. My hands and body were covered in blood, and I stared down in a daze.

I... I hate Yan Shu so, so much, yet when I was about to kill him, my heart ached terribly...

“Su Xie…” Yan Shu panicked, holding my face in his hands, and said cautiously, “Don’t be angry, it doesn’t hurt if I don’t move… don’t be angry…” He picked up the bloodstained dagger and stuffed it into my hands, extremely flustered, “It doesn’t hurt, Su Xie, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt this time… Su Xie, don’t cry…”

He was so panicked he was about to cry, desperately trying to shove the dagger into my hand. I looked up at him, and after a long while, with red eyes, I said, "Fool."

Someone pushed open the door and came in, their footsteps light and unsteady as they walked behind me. They sighed, "You still have a soft spot for him..."

I heard the baby's babbling and turned around sharply to see Ruan Bicheng standing in the pale light, holding the child. I couldn't see his features or expression, but I heard him ask me in a deep voice, "Are you still going to save him? You hate him so much, and you finally managed to escape. Are you still going to save him?"

"This is none of your business." I got up and rummaged through the medicine cabinet in the pharmacy to find medicine to treat and stop bleeding. I knelt down and applied the medicine to Yan Shu's wounds.

Ruan Bicheng took two steps forward, suddenly grabbed my wrist, forced me to look up, and frowned as she asked me, "Do you love him? Have you already fallen in love with him?"

I looked at him without saying a word.

"Tell me, besides this reason, what other reason could make you so reckless and stubbornly insist on saving him?" He gripped my hand, pressing down each word as he asked me.

"Let go!" Yan Shu suddenly sprang up and pounced on him, shouting like a beast, "Let go of Su Xie!"

"Yan Shu." I reached out and supported his shoulder, pressing him down to sit. I looked at Ruan Bicheng and said, "You came here just to ask me these questions?"

Did you bring your child all this way just to ask these questions?

He stared at me, and, unwilling to give up, said again, "I want to know why you can't bring yourself to do it."

Why?

I looked at him and smiled. "What if I said I didn't know? Or what if I said I just felt sorry for him?"

How can I tell him something I don't even know myself? Why? Is it really because I pity him?

He seemed unconvinced, so I pulled my wrist away from his fingers and said, "Ruan Bicheng, not everyone is like you, needing a reasonable reason for everything they do. Whether I save him or not, there's no convincing reason; it's just a matter of whether I want to or not."

I think he probably wouldn't understand.

“Lu Ning, you’ve changed.” His voice suddenly fell into a slump, and he said to me with extreme disappointment, “Even if your appearance had changed so much that you didn’t resemble anyone else, you were still you, still that clear-headed, gentle, and always smiling Lu Ning. But now you’ve changed… you’re not like yourself anymore.”

Really? I've become unconventional and utterly wicked.

I stood up and looked him in the eye, saying, "I am Su Xie, Ruan Bicheng."

“Su Xie…” he murmured as he looked at me, as if for a moment he couldn’t see me clearly anymore.

I said impatiently, "Ruan Bicheng, is this all you came here for?"

The child slept soundly and sweetly in his arms, occasionally babbling softly in his sleep, his long eyelashes covering his eyes, looking absolutely adorable.

Seeing that I was looking after the child, Ruan Bicheng leaned closer and said, "I want to help you."

"Help me?" I chuckled and took two steps back.

He paused before continuing, "If I said I would give you the child and help you save Yan Shu, whatever you want, I would do it for you. Would you... agree to come back to the Central Plains with me?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "So it was a transaction."

He frowned slightly, and after a moment he sighed and said, "If that's what you want to think, then so be it." He added, "You can rest assured, I just want you to come back to the Central Plains with me to see something. Once you've seen it, it's up to you whether you stay or leave. I won't stop you in the slightest."

I don't know what it is that makes him so persistent, that he sent a master surgeon, and now he's come in person and even offered conditions.

"Are you willing?" he asked me.

“Ruan Bicheng, I think you don’t understand.” I said to him seriously, “Whether I save Yan Shu or not, or how I save him, it has nothing to do with you. I really don’t want to have any connection with you in the future.”

His face darkened, and I continued, "As for the child... if you don't want to become enemies with Xiao Jiu, you'd better give it back to me. Although I'm not sure if Xiao Jiu has the ability to defeat you, I know very well that he will fight you to the death for the child."

He frowned, stared at me, and asked, "When did you learn to manipulate people? Are you trying to use Xiao Jiu?"

He must be utterly disappointed in me, almost heartbroken to see me like this.

Speechless, I waited for a long time without him speaking again. Just as I was about to leave, he suddenly said, "What if I said that I could save Yan Shu and Bao Ze at the same time?"

I stood there, stunned.

He looked at me and repeated, "Even without Yan Shu's concern, I will help you save Baoze as well."

Something heavy was weighing on his heart. The morning light from outside the door shone through his back, making him glow.

“You can save Yan Shu, but what about Bao Ze?” he asked me. “You still owe him something. Do you want to owe him your life as well?”

I ultimately owe him and Jinglian a debt; there's no escaping it.

I stood there looking at him for a long time, then asked with a wry smile, "What exactly is it that makes you go to such lengths?"

What is it?

Ruan Bicheng smiled too, a bitter and weary smile, "It's my selfish desire, a selfish desire I've hidden for a very, very long time..."

Selfish motives? So Ruan Bicheng also had selfish motives?

He smiled at me in the morning light and asked softly, "Are you willing?"

Yan Shu tugged at my clothes, staring warily at Ruan Bicheng. I suddenly felt that I could never escape Yan Shu and Ruan Bicheng in this lifetime. No matter how much I struggled, it would be a waste of energy.

I finally nodded and asked, "What are you going to do?"

His eyes lit up and he smiled. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you're completely at ease before I take you away."

In the dim light of dawn, he brought the child closer to show me and said softly, "Would you like to hold her? She's gained some weight recently."

She slept in my arms, her moist lips holding her fair fingers. She had gained weight and become much fairer, plump like a round, white dough doll, her eyebrows and eyelashes casting shadows.

I carefully reached out and took it, but it woke her up. She lifted her wet eyelashes, opened her eyes to look at me, and burst into tears. I panicked immediately and couldn't soothe her no matter what I did.

"She doesn't like you..." Ruan Bicheng smiled and reached out to help me soothe the child, saying, "You've never held her before?"

I tried to hold her, but every time there was a sound of blood, which must have frightened her.

I was frantically trying to calm her down, my head was spinning. Yan Shu tugged at my clothes and stood up, nestled beside me, tilted her head and looked at the crying child. She carefully reached out and poked her face, then quickly looked away and looked at me. Seeing that I wasn't angry, she reached out and poked her again, grinning foolishly.

Seemingly hearing laughter, the child suddenly stopped crying, lifted his tear-streaked eyelashes, and looked at Yan Shu with a pout.

Yan Shu reached out and poked her again, and she opened her small mouth and took Yan Shu's finger in her mouth, immediately beaming with joy.

"Oh, it's dirty..." I quickly patted Yan Shu's hand to make him pull his fingers back, and said to Yan Shu, "You can't touch the child with dirty hands."

Yan Shu held his fingers tightly, looking aggrieved, and pouted at me, her face showing signs of impending tears.

Ruan Bicheng reached out to take the child, her face grim, and said to me, "She's probably hungry. I'll take her back first, and you should get some rest too."

Before I could even speak, he took the child away. He didn't even look at me, but simply said, "You don't need to worry about anything else. I will keep my promise to you. Just wait patiently."

Without giving me a chance to ask any more questions, he took the child and left the main hall on his own. The questions I wanted to ask were swallowed back down.

What exactly is he going to do?

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Not long after Ruan Bicheng left, Miaoshou and Shen Qing arrived together, bringing some food for Yan Shu. They handed me a small dish of pastries, and Shen Qing leaned over to ask me, "Are you planning to save him?"

"Did Ruan Bicheng say that?" I took the pastry and raised an eyebrow at him.

He pursed his lips and gestured to Miao Shou, who was serving Yan Shu food, and whispered, "What Ruan Bicheng said to him, I don't know what she said. I only heard Ruan Bicheng say that according to the second plan, what did she say to you?"

I said "Oh" and replied, "It's nothing."

Shen Qing looked at me suspiciously, so I changed the subject and asked, "Did you manage to contact Chang Huan Xiao Jiu when you came to Licheng?"

Shen Qing slapped his forehead, suddenly remembering something, and exclaimed, "Oh no, oh no, I forgot about Chang Huan! I saw Chang Huan; he went back to save you..."

"Return to the Sahara Sect?"

Shen Qing nodded and said earnestly, "I told him not to go back, but he insisted on going back. He doesn't know martial arts, so he's probably already been arrested by the young master."

Just as I was about to ask again, I heard a clattering sound. The small plate in Yan Shu's hand fell to the ground, and he also fainted with a thud.

"What are you doing!" Shen Qing jumped over and placed her hand on Yan Shu's pulse.

Miao Shou hurriedly smiled apologetically, "Junior brother, don't worry, don't worry. I just gave him a little bit of calming medicine so he can sleep for a while. I can then treat his wounds and let Xiao Xie get away to rest."

I looked down at the half-finished pastry in my hand and asked the skilled hand, "Then what about mine..." Before I could finish speaking, I felt dizzy and lightheaded, and a wave of drowsiness washed over me.

Just before losing consciousness, I vaguely heard Miao Shou exclaim in surprise, "Junior Brother, how could you have given the pastries to Xiao Xie too..."

Was it really not intentional?

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I don't know how long I slept. I woke up feeling sore and tired all over. The sky was gray and gloomy. Looking out the window, I was surprised to find that it had started snowing. The area outside the corridor was covered in a blanket of white.

My head felt heavy and uncomfortable, so I pressed my temples. Just then, I heard the door being pushed open. Before I could even see who it was, I heard his surprised exclamation, "You're finally awake! I really didn't know what I would have done if you hadn't woken up!"