Clouds Drunk, Moon Slightly Sleeping - Chapter 60
I was furious. If this short man hadn't pulled me up, I would have run away long ago. Why would I have to face this complicated and chaotic situation?
"You...you're a woman?" The short man covered his mouth and looked at me in disbelief when he heard me speak. He stammered and pointed at me with his right index finger.
But it was too late, really too late. I wasn't in much better shape than him; my mouth was agape, wide open in disbelief. And then I heard his voice—oh my god, he…he was actually a woman too!
With my mouth agape, I glanced at the four men around me: the tall, unfamiliar man looked me over, then at the people beside him, and then gave me a helpless look; Fly looked at me with concern, then at the short, fake man with disbelief; Xi Lan only looked at me the whole time, and didn't even show the surprise or strangeness one would expect when she heard a woman's voice; Fox glanced casually at the short, fake man, but when he turned to me, his eyes were filled with a deep smile.
I finally understood: Qinglin was the purest of all; the tall, unfamiliar man obviously knew the short, fake man's identity from the start, but judging from the calm look in his eyes when he looked at me, he was quite a character; judging from the fox's composed expression and the smile in his eyes just now, he probably knew the fake man was a woman from the start as well, and besides, wasn't he always staying in the Hanxing military camp? It seems he was the one who personally persuaded Hanxing to form an alliance; and finally, there was Xilan, sigh, still the same, indifferent when it doesn't concern her.
All of the above is a long story, but it only takes me a blink of an eye to explain it.
"Why are you pulling me?" Since we're all women, and these four men are people I know well, and they're the top leaders in the military camp, why should I keep quiet and suffer injustice? Although I know these two strangers are probably from Hanxing Kingdom, and the big guy is definitely a marshal, and this woman is either a general's daughter or a princess who's just bored and has run away, they provoked me first, so I can't let my butt hurt for nothing.
The short, fake man actually glanced at me, then turned away and ignored me. Looking at the other four men, they all stood by with hands in their sleeves, seemingly enjoying the show, especially the fox, whose eyes were blatantly encouraging.
How dare you ignore me? This is intolerable! When have I ever been treated like this? Since everyone thinks this is a war between the two of us women, then let's bravely face it and fight back! I smiled very gently at that fake man, and then quickly kicked him hard in the knee.
Oh my god, I kicked someone, and now my own butt hurts so much! I gasped for breath several times, my mouth agape and my eyebrows furrowed.
"Ah! How dare you kick me!" The short man cried out in pain, squatted down, one hand on his knee, and pointed at me in disbelief.
"You dared to pull me and make me fall, why wouldn't I dare to kick you?" Why should I be afraid of her? She's just a little brat dressed as a boy. Besides, if it really came down to a fight, I'm 100% sure that at least three out of the four strong men would be on my side. I'd beat you up.
"You shameless woman, do you know who I am?" The fake man probably didn't expect me to talk back to her like that, and he reverted to his childish self, trembling as he tried to use his identity to intimidate me.
"I don't care who you are, you're just an ignorant princess! This is a military camp, you're neither a general nor have any rank, and you're a woman, so you should behave yourself!" I'm a princess now, and you actually say I'm shameless? How am I shameless?
Wait, shameless? Does she mean what happened between me and Fox on horseback earlier? Good heavens, I almost forgot about that. We're all women going to war, why did she attack me the moment we met? And she called me shameless? What business is it of hers if Fox and I were intimate? She's dressed as a man to infiltrate the army; nine times out of ten, she's not there for men.
Wait a minute, could this lackey brat have come all the way to the battlefield just because of the fox? A thousand possibilities flashed through my mind, and I kept the most clichéd and ridiculous ones to string together a rough plot. This is outrageous! This fox demon went to the Cold Star Kingdom and actually brought back a minor girl!
Just then, the fox suddenly spoke up, took my hand, gave the big man a slight bow, and said with a faint smile, "General Qi, I, Yun, will take my leave now."
Yun? Yun? Why do I feel like that fox is using my name? Did the fox hide his identity when he went to Hanxing Kingdom? Well, that's great, I use his name, and he uses mine. I met Xilan, and he hooked up with that person who looks like a princess. He really doesn't want to suffer any loss.
"Who is she?" the little kid suddenly rushed up to the fox and pointed at me, asking.
Ugh, what a lack of class! Pointing at people all the time, doesn't he know that's incredibly unrefined? I gave an elegant yawn, deciding to smash this annoying little cockroach to death with a hammer: "You're a princess from the Cold Star Kingdom, aren't you? You don't need to know who I am, you just need to remember that I'm someone you absolutely can't afford to offend. Also, don't try to compete with me in status; my status is far more noble than yours. If we're talking about power, you'll lose miserably. As for beauty, intelligence, and personal charm, let's talk about these four exceptionally outstanding men in front of us. Three of them definitely wouldn't even bother with you. So if you want to show off and put on airs, you should have called all your maids here earlier. Otherwise, in this military camp, even a princess is useless."
After saying that, I ignored her and smiled sweetly at Fox Qinglin and Xilan, "Now, are the three of you willing to come back to camp with me?"
As I walked down to Erlinzi's command post, my face grew even more bitter. The troublesome problem still needed to be solved, and it was my responsibility to solve it personally. Just like if the woman I encountered outside was truly a vixen causing trouble, I would have to deal with it myself. Matters of the heart ultimately required the parties involved to take charge.
I "usurped" Xi Lan's place and dragged her into Qing Lin's command camp, leaving Fox and Qing Lin outside. There were some things I had to say to Xi Lan alone.
"Xi Lan, I want to stay here." I said timidly, my head down, not daring to look up at him.
He didn't speak, but I knew he was looking at me. The surroundings were silent, and the quiet, somewhat oppressive atmosphere made it hard for me to breathe.
"Xi Lan." I suddenly looked up at him. He couldn't stay silent like this. But as soon as I looked up, I saw the heartbroken look on his face, which he hadn't had time to hide. I don't know why my heart ached so much at that moment. Tears welled up in my eyes instantly, and I could only cry out, "Xi Lan, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Qianqian, don't cry." His expression returned to normal, but the forced smile on his face clearly showed heartache, pain, and loneliness. His voice was as gentle as ever, but his hand trembled slightly as he touched my face, wiping away my tears again and again.
There will eventually come a day of honesty, a day of farewell. Is it true that the sooner we clarify things, the less pain we will feel, and the sooner our wounds will heal?
"Xi Lan, I won't cry, I won't cry." I hurriedly wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, sniffed, and took Xi Lan's still slightly trembling left hand, holding it tightly in my own. "But Xi Lan's heart, can't it also stop crying?"
He lowered his eyelids, seemingly staring at my hands, but didn't say a word.
Looking at him, tears streamed down my face again. The deep sorrow emanating from Xi Lan was all my doing. For the sake of my own actions, I pretended not to understand his heart, thinking that this would lessen the guilt and remorse I felt when accepting his sacrifices. But this was just self-deception, a temporary numbness. Only when it was unavoidable did I realize that my actions had not only deeply hurt Xi Lan, but also myself. Even if the wounds in my heart heal and scab over, a faint mark will still remain. Xi Lan, he is someone I owe so much to. My debt isn't just to his past sacrifices, but also to the changes that may be etched into his entire life.
"Qianqian, could you please not make a decision so quickly?" Xi Lan suddenly looked up, her clear eyes fixed on me, with undisguised determination in them.
My heart skipped a beat, and I quickly turned my head away, unable to bear looking into those eyes any longer. My voice was hoarse as I said, "Xi Lan, some things, no matter how hard you try or how much effort you put in, you can't change the outcome. So why let yourself get stuck in it and not be able to get out? The longer it goes on, the deeper you get, and you'll only get hurt more."
"Is that so?" he said softly, as if murmuring to himself, but it made my heart ache. "Qianqian has never liked me, not even the slightest bit?"
"Xi Lan!" I turned to look at the person before me. It was as if all the brilliance had vanished from him in an instant. I had never seen Xi Lan so dim and lost in thought. I remembered his ethereal and otherworldly appearance when I first met him, his spotless white robes now stained with dried blood. Xi Lan, Xi Lan, how could I have never liked someone like him? But what good did liking him do? A liking that came a step too late meant that even holding hands wouldn't make me blush, and even an embrace would be open and pure.
"What if you get hurt if you decide so early?" He reached out and gently stroked my face, but his expression was a little dazed. Then he hugged me tightly. "Qianqian, don't decide so early. Don't give yourself the chance to get hurt. Don't reject me, okay? Let me stay by Qianqian's side. Even if Qianqian still doesn't like me in the end, at least let me see Qianqian happy."
Injured? Harmed? Why would Xilan worry about these things? The image of that fake man suddenly popped into my mind, and my heart sank. Could it be...?
"Xi Lan, what did you hear? What do you know?" My heart suddenly panicked. I pulled away from Xi Lan's embrace. Could this fox have really seduced someone? Since I embarked on my journey of persuasion, I have rarely heard any news about the Dragon Yao Kingdom. The fox has never talked about her situation either. After entering the Azure Palace, she became even more isolated from the world.
Xi Lan looked at me, but shook her head and said nothing.
"Xi Lan, I am currently both the Prime Minister of Longyao Kingdom and Princess Xiyue of Tianqing Kingdom. Even if I don't concern myself with Longyao Kingdom's affairs, I can't escape my identity as a member of the Yun family. Xi Lan, what should I do? What should I do?" Having been given the identity of Princess Xiyue, I can't extricate myself anytime soon. If Xi Lan refuses to let go, what should I do? My relationship with the fox is at most a private engagement. Even an emperor who hasn't married or taken concubines could easily be asked to marry him. And with our impending separation, will I not even have a chance to fight for it or be honest with him?
"Qianqian." A flash of pain crossed his eyes.
I threw myself into Xilan's arms. Why, why? Just the thought of the fox being involved in a marriage alliance made me panic and almost hurt Xilan again. How could I force Xilan to make a decision? At least not so quickly.
"Xi Lan, let me stay here tonight." I looked up at him, and he looked at me with a complicated expression. I resisted the urge to look away. Fox is leaving tomorrow, and I really want to spend more time with him.
He seemed to want to say something but hesitated, and in the end he just held my hand tightly in his.
"Xi Lan, you must send someone to keep a close eye on Wang Yue Zong Ning. I have something to discuss with him first thing tomorrow morning." I said, trying my best to appear nonchalant and forcing a smile.
He stared at me intently, still without saying a word, but suddenly bent down and kissed my forehead. Before I could even react, he turned and strode out of the command camp.
Clouds Drunk, Moon Slightly Asleep (Revised Edition) Volume Three: If Life Were Only Like Our First Meeting, We Would Be More Separated Than Gathered Together (Part Four)
Chapter word count: 4431 Update time: 08-12-23 14:36
Separation is a frequent occurrence (Part 4)