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Clouds Drunk, Moon Slightly Asleep (Revised Edition) Volume Two: Where is the Vast Sky and Water? In Dreams, I Know Not I Am a Guest (Part Two)
Chapter word count: 4346 Update time: 08-12-21 16:19
Unaware of being a guest in a dream (Part Two)
"Hong'er! Hong'er!" I screamed, waking up in a cold sweat from my dream. In the dream, Hong'er lay in my arms, covered in blood, crying to me through her tears: "Young master, Hong'er can no longer serve you. Please take care of yourself. If there is an afterlife, Hong'er will definitely still..."
When I opened my eyes, I saw Yun Bai standing by my bedside, looking at me with bloodshot eyes and a hint of worry and sympathy in them.
"Where's Hong'er? Xiaobai, where's Hong'er?" I looked around for Hong'er. It seemed like it was already getting light outside. Why wasn't Hong'er by my side at this time?
"She's gone." The voice was very faint and soft.
"Gone? Where did she go? I am her master. Where does she think she can run off to if she's not by my side taking care of her? Did I, her master, bully her or make her feel wronged? Why didn't she tell me she was leaving?" I was getting anxious. Not being able to see Hong'er made me feel panicked.
"She's dead." The voice was even softer and fainter.
"What?" I jumped out of bed, my legs went weak, and I plopped down on the floor. My heart pounded with fear, and I couldn't get up for a moment. All I could do was point at Yun Bai and scream, tears streaming down my face: "You're insane! Why did you have to curse Hong'er to death? She didn't offend you! You bastard, you heartless scoundrel! I hate you! Get out of here!"
“You remember, she was hit by two arrows and died on the spot.”
I was both anxious and angry. I stood up and slapped the man in front of me across the face. "Slap!" A crisp slap rang out. I was stunned. He didn't flinch at all, but just stared straight at me, as if to prove that he wasn't lying. I quickly avoided his gaze and pushed him away, saying, "I don't want to see you. Go away. I want Hong'er."
No matter how much I pushed him, he wouldn't budge. When I got tired of pushing, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard, saying, "Wake up." Then he let go.
I lost my balance and fell heavily to the ground. I felt a sharp pain in my heart, covered my ears, and burst into tears: "I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it, you're lying to me, you're lying to me!"
I cried louder and louder, and he remained silent beside me. Footsteps approached the door, followed by knocking. I continued to cry until I heard the door creak open.
"Young Master?" It was Yun Yao's hesitant voice.
Like a drowning person grasping at a straw, I wiped away the tears that kept flowing with my sleeve, looked up and searched for Yun Yao's figure, wanting to ask him where Hong'er was, wanting to confirm from him that Yun Bai's words just now were all lies to me.
Yun Yao hesitated as he entered from outside the door. Behind him was Yun Hui, who was still dressed in gray. However, his right arm was empty, and his right shoulder was wrapped in layers of white gauze. His face was deathly pale, and the thick gauze even made one feel that blood was constantly seeping out.
"Yunhui!" I felt a suffocating pain, as if someone was choking me. My throat ached terribly, and my heart turned to ice. I trembled uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face, utterly desperate. The scene from last night, so swift yet so bloody and terrifying, flashed vividly in my mind. Hong'er, Hong'er, you left without even a word? And Yunhui, was the arrow that was supposed to be in my body poisoned? Was the poison on that arrow incurable? Did you have to cut off your arm to save yourself the moment you realized the poison? When you swung your sword and chopped off your right arm, did you hesitate, feel pain, despair, or regret?
Why? Why? I desperately told myself it was just a nightmare, just a dream, but it was all real? Why? Hong'er was only eighteen, and Yunhui was only twenty. They shouldn't have suffered like this, but because of me, one died in the prime of her life, and the other will spend the next few decades with only his left hand. I bit my lip hard, smelling the thick, dizzying scent of blood. I dug my fingernails into my palm, letting the piercing pain stimulate me to stay conscious. When they went numb, I released my grip and dug in another spot. I reminded myself not to faint, to stay awake. After a long while, I lowered my head and choked out, "I want to see Hong'er."
"We didn't bring her with us."
"What?" I looked up abruptly, only to be met with Yunhui's deathly pale face, reddened eyes, and beads of sweat on his forehead. His body swayed slightly, clearly unsteady on his feet as if he might collapse at any moment, yet the resolute expression on his face gave the impression that he would never fall if needed. A wave of overwhelming sorrow washed over me, tears blurring my vision. I tried to get up to support him, but my legs went numb, and I fell back to the ground. I could only choke out, "Yunhui, Yunhui, are you alright? Are you okay?"
Suddenly remembering something, my hands trembled as I rummaged through my clothes, finally pulling out several bottles with a clattering sound. Two of them almost fell to the ground. I blinked hard to wipe away the tears in my eyes, took out the small red bottle with my left hand, and held it out in front of Yunhui: "This is the Nine-Turn Rejuvenation Pill. It will be good for your injuries. Quickly take it with water."
"Young Master, you mustn't!" Yun Hui suddenly knelt on the ground, his face growing paler and sweat pouring down his forehead.
"You can't use it?" I suddenly found it ridiculous, and tears streamed down my face again. "You're willing to risk your lives? How come you can't use even one of my medicines?"
Hong'er, Hong'er... I sat curled up in the carriage, my arms tightly wrapped around my shoulders, my mind filled with thoughts of Hong'er. I thought of her lying alone in that cold, unfamiliar place, of her meticulous care for me, of her often nervous and timid eyes, of her curling up under my bed every night with her blanket and mat, while I, busy escaping for my own life, left her alone there. Was she afraid? She must be afraid. She's always been timid. If she turns around and doesn't see me, she starts worrying that she hasn't taken good care of me... No, I can't leave her there alone. At least, at least let me find her a good place to settle down, so she can be reborn into a better life and not be a servant to be manipulated again.
"Go back, go back, go back right now, go find Hong'er, we can't leave her there alone!" I shouted, my voice filled with panic, as I got up and rushed out of the carriage curtain.
A pair of hands tightly stopped me and roughly pulled me back onto the soft couch. It was Yun Bai!
"Let me go, let me go!" I glared at Yun Bai with hatred, tears streaming down my face again, my eyes stinging. "Xia
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