She choked back a sob, but before Mu Xing could speak, she covered her face again and said, "Ugh, I know I've stopped crying. After all these years, I should have stopped crying long ago..."
Mu Xing hugged her and said with heartache, "If you don't want to talk about it, then let's not. We can talk about it another day."
After leaning against Mu Xing's chest for a while, Bai Yan shook her head: "There's nothing wrong with talking about it. I am this kind of person, and I should make you understand my past and present lives."
Mu Xing kissed her hard: "I love you no matter what kind of person you are."
Nuzzling Mu Xing's hand, Bai Yan continued, "My mother would burn incense and pray to Buddha every day and night, hoping that my father would return safely, but in the end, she couldn't even see my father's body one last time."
“My mother fell ill, and that man urged us to set off again, saying that he was a subordinate sent by a friend of my father's. My father entrusted his friend on his deathbed to make sure that my mother and I were sent back to our hometown.”
"And then? Did you go back?" Mu Xing had barely asked the question when he realized he had been incredibly stupid.
If Shu Wan had indeed returned to her hometown, how could she have ended up in Wenjiang?
Sure enough, Bai Yan shook her head.
"That man urged us to pack our valuables and dismiss the servants, leaving only a nanny to take care of my mother. He first took us to Shanghai so we could take the train back to Yunnan. But in the chaos of war, how could we possibly get train tickets? The man said he would find a way, but who knew that he would be gone for more than a month."
"We were stuck in the hotel and couldn't move an inch. The war was about to reach Shanghai, and my mother's illness was getting worse. We had no choice but to let the nanny who was taking care of my mother decide that we couldn't wait any longer and took us back to Suzhou Prefecture."
"Less than a month after returning to Suzhou, my mother... passed away."
Staring at the ray of light on the horizon, Bai Yan dared not close her eyes.
She was afraid that if she closed her eyes, she would return to that day.
The acrid smell of burnt paper money lingered for a long time, and the white silk still hung on the door, its color bleached a ghastly white by the heavy rain. She hid behind the door, watching the old woman count the copper coins one by one. Her wrinkled face was no longer kind; instead, it was filled with a smile more terrifying than that of a demon.
She was sold to a woman before her mother's seventh day memorial service had even passed.
She changed hands several times afterward, and Bai Yan couldn't remember anything. Finally, she was bought by an old woman who wanted her to be the wife of her mentally challenged son.
An elderly woman, a simple-minded man, a dilapidated and deserted courtyard... She finally escaped and then sold herself into a brothel.
Mu Xing clenched her fists tightly in front of Bai Yan, suppressing her anger, and whispered, "They deserve to die." Faced with the past her lover spoke of, the unimaginable despair and darkness, she could only utter this meaningless curse.
She hated this feeling.
Bai Yan reached out and shook Mu Xing's hand, prying it open and gently soothing her weakness.
“I hate them too,” she said. “I hate them so much that I can’t sleep, I hate them so much that I wake up in nightmares, and I wish I could die with them. But then I met that sir, and I was able to find shelter from the rain. Gradually, my hatred faded away.”
"Then, I met you again." Cool fingertips traced the lines on Mu Xing's palm, and Bai Yan's voice finally became much lighter. "When I met you, how could I have time to think about those hatreds and grudges? You are so tall and have such long arms and legs. My heart is already full enough just to hold you. How could I care about thinking about them anymore?"
Resting her chin on Bai Yan's shoulder, Mu Xing rubbed against her hard, the tiny tears in her eyes getting into Bai Yan's clothes. She said playfully, "Hmph, so you still remember that Lord Andrew all the time."
Bai Yan said, "I told you before, although that official took me to his mansion and treated me like a young lady, every time he looked at me and dressed me up, he didn't really see me."
She moved, struggling to inch her way across the roof tiles, and finally turned around to face Mu Xing.
The golden rays of the setting sun danced in her hair; she was backlit, and her smile was even more radiant than the sunlight.
"This world is vast, but only your embrace can hold me."
"Tell me, how can I not love you?"
Chapter Seventy-Two
That day, the two of them didn't climb down from the roof until everyone returned, their faces flushed with suspicion.
Grandpa Han was so frightened that he kept muttering, "What a disaster! Young lady, don't you remember how you fell and hit your head last time? You're still injured, how did you get up there again?"
Before he could even argue, Mu Xing sneezed three times: "Achoo!"
Bai Yan was also frightened, fearing that Mu Xing would catch a cold from the wind. The group quickly wrapped her in a blanket, tucked her into the quilt, and poured a bowl of ginger soup into her mouth.
"It tastes awful, it tastes awful," Mu Xing muttered, huddled under the covers.
Bai Yan casually popped a candy into her mouth and said, "Are you afraid of bitterness? Are you only three years old? You're really getting more and more like a child."
Mu Xing retorted confidently, "I'm not young anymore. I just turned twenty-one... only half a year ago." Then, she remembered to ask, "Speaking of which, Shu Wan, what year were you born? And when was your birthday?"
Bai Yan glanced at her: "What, are you going to celebrate my birthday?"
Mu Xing laughed: "Of course, we celebrate our family members' birthdays properly every year."
Bai Yan thought for a moment and said, "I haven't celebrated my birthday in so many years. Now that the Gregorian calendar is in use, I don't even know which day is the real birthday anymore."
Reaching out to touch her forehead, Mu Xing said, "Think about it slowly. From now on, I'll spend every year with you."
Bai Yan took the spittoon and made her rinse her mouth. She said, "Don't rush to celebrate your birthday. You should go to sleep. You didn't get a good night's rest last night. You should go to bed early tonight."
Upon hearing this, Mu Xing lifted the blanket halfway and patted the empty space next to him.
Bai Yan raised an eyebrow: "What are you doing?"
Mu Xing replied calmly, "I'm going to sleep."
"Stop fooling around." Bai Yan glared at her, then laughed again, "Why are you acting like a puppy that's just had its first taste of meat?"
"Wow, what are you thinking?" Mu Xing exclaimed deliberately. "I just wanted to save you the trouble of going back to your room and making things easier for you."
Bai Yan raised an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. Mu Xing then lowered her voice and said, "Just... let's exchange some feelings."
Bai Yan feigned sudden realization: "Oh, it meant 'by the way'?"
Unable to salvage the situation, Mu Xing started rolling around on the floor, pleading, "Let's sleep together, let's sleep together..."
"Stop fooling around." Bai Yan tucked her back into the blanket. "Uncle Han was worried you wouldn't feel well tonight, so he ordered someone to keep watch. If someone sees this, it won't look good."
Knowing it was completely hopeless, Mu Xing lay dejectedly on the bed: "I can't sleep without you."
Bai Yan chuckled: "Then I'll sit here and wait for you to fall asleep before I leave."
Mu Xing pouted, "With you sitting here, I'm even less able to sleep."
Bai Yan asked patiently, "Then what are you going to do?"
With her eyes darting around, Mu Xing said, "You can lull me to sleep by telling me a story or singing a song."
Bai Yan laughed: "You really are only three years old?"
Mu Xing pleaded, "Sing, sing... I've never heard you sing before!"
Unable to resist her, Bai Yan had no choice but to agree. After thinking for a moment, she said, "I'll sing you a little tune."
Mu Xing looked at her intently.
Clearing her throat, Bai Yan began to sing: "The night is hazy, the flower garden is asleep, the cuckoo cries, its sorrow breaks the soul..." She had only sung one line when she felt something was off: "Isn't it... a little too tragic?"
Mu Xing said with a bitter face, "Yeah. Do you have any cheerful songs? I'm afraid I'll have nightmares if I listen to these." She added, "But Wan'er, you sing really well."
Bai Yan said with a touch of pride, "Of course, I even participated in the choir when I was in middle school."
As for later, if you sang poorly in the brothel, you would be punished with a beating. Of course, there was no need to tell Mu Xing this.
However, Bai Yan thought of several songs, whether pop songs or Suzhou storytelling, and they were all sad love songs. They were all songs that the brothel taught them to sing, naturally in order to win the favor of their patrons.
Seeing that Mu Xing was almost asleep, Bai Yan finally remembered a little song she had heard by chance before.
After thinking for a moment, she began softly, "I remember when we were young, I loved to talk and you loved to laugh..."
The singing was clear and melodious, like a summer night breeze, blowing away all fatigue and weariness, all worries and troubles, and carrying people straight into their dreams.
A few days later, Mu Xing still remembered what Bai Yan had said about picking osmanthus flowers. The day after he told Aunt Li about it, Aunt Li excitedly brought bamboo shoots and oilcloth from her home.
Grandpa Han asked, "Are you only going to cut this one in the backyard? Oh dear, this tree is free-growing and doesn't have many flowers. Should we go to the village and ask around, find a place that grows trees well and uses good fertilizer, and cut it for fun?"
Bai Yan quickly shook her head: "No need, sir. We're just having some fun, there's no need to make such a fuss."
Grandpa Han was quite anxious: "I'm worried that you ladies won't have enough fun..."
Although it had been neglected for many years, the osmanthus tree in the backyard was actually growing quite well, with clusters of tender yellow osmanthus blossoms crowding together. If it were to be picked and sold in the village, it wouldn't be worth much, but it was more than enough to amuse ourselves.
Bai Yan was in high spirits. Early in the morning, she changed out of her cheongsam and high heels and put on a jacket and embroidered shoes that were popular a few years ago. She also rolled up the wide sleeves for easy movement. If this outfit were in the city, it would definitely be ridiculed as too old-fashioned, but in Mu Xing's eyes, it had a novel charm.
The bamboo poles that Aunt Li brought were thick and large, requiring two people to lift them. Mu Xing naturally couldn't lift them, so she spread out the oilcloth at the foot of the tree and sat down to watch Bai Yan feast her eyes.
After rolling up her sleeves, Bai Yan and Fu Guang began to pick osmanthus flowers with bamboo poles.
The delicate osmanthus blossoms huddled together, hiding among the leaves. If they went unnoticed, they were fine, but once spotted, they would be met with a brutal beating from the bamboo poles. The bamboo poles swayed, then unleashed a relentless barrage of blows on the osmanthus blossoms, causing them to fall to the ground with a rustling sound, crashing onto the oilcloth, petals and leaves alike.
This process was repeated until, amidst the wailing and howling of the osmanthus tree, the tree was nearly destroyed.
Bai Yan, with her rich experience, said: "That's about enough. If we remove most of them now, the second wave of flowers will grow better."
Mu Xing didn't reply. He just chuckled to himself as he looked at Bai Yan.
Bai Yan was puzzled: "What are you laughing at?" She ruffled her hair and looked at her clothes, but there was nothing wrong with them.
Mu Xing laughed and waved, "Come here and I'll tell you."
Bai Yan turned her head and saw that Fu Guang and Aunt Li were busy tending to the flowers and no one was paying attention to them, so she went over to them.
Mu Xing gestured for Bai Yan to lower her head and whispered in her ear, "Our Shu Wan looks so beautiful even dressed as a village woman. It's like I married two people at once. Don't you think I've hit the jackpot?"
Upon hearing this, Bai Yan straightened up, deliberately looked Mu Xing up and down for a while, shook her head and sighed, "It's a pity that I married someone who is lazy, greedy and has a bad back. It's like I married three lazybones at once. What a huge loss."
Mu Xing: "...Who are you talking about! Who has a bad back!"
Joking aside, there was still business to be done. Bai Yan and Fu Guang first picked out the fallen osmanthus branches and leaves, and then sifted them several times with a winnowing basket. It wasn't until it got dark that a small winnowing basket was roughly sifted.
Looking at the pot full of osmanthus flowers, Mu Xing was surprised: "After all that effort, there's only this little bit?"
Bai Yan said, "That's about right. If we make them all into candied osmanthus, we can make about three small jars. We'll give one jar to Grandpa Han, one to your family, and keep one for ourselves. We can use it to make glutinous rice balls and soak them in water."
"What about osmanthus wine?" Mu Xing asked.
"Let's use the next batch of osmanthus flowers for the osmanthus wine. It will take at least half a year to brew. Anyway, we can't drink it now."
"Half a year..." Lying on the recliner, Mu Xing looked at the vast starry sky above him and suddenly felt a sense of disorientation.
They have been resting in the tung blossoms for more than a month.
Bai Yan sighed as well: "I wonder what will happen then."
Another half month passed, and it was time to enjoy the candied osmanthus. Mu Xing was finally able to move around for longer periods of time.
The first thing to do was to visit my aunt.
Early that morning, she and Bai Yan went out together to the Tonghua River. They sat in a lotus-picking boat, pushing the dense, fluffy lotus leaves as they headed towards the center of the lake.
In the height of summer, lotus flowers bloom gracefully. Young women picking lotus flowers tie brightly colored silk scarves around their necks, their jade-like hands contrasting beautifully with the verdant leaves. With a flick of their wrists, the green stems rustle crisply, and a lotus flower is plucked from their branches.