My grandmother was illiterate and had no education. She and Jian Changnian had to teach her how to use the landline phone for a long time.
Faced with the concern of her friends and elders, Xie Shi'an's eyes reddened. She looked up and managed to force back her tears. She wanted to let them know she was safe, but accidentally clicked on a social media platform.
Her name and Jian Changnian's name are still trending on social media.
"Why didn't that stab kill Jian Changnian? It's such a pity. If you ask me, homosexuals deserve to die."
"It's already hard enough for guys to find partners, and girls have to find partners within the same group. I used to be a fan of Xie Shi'an, but now I'm disgusted by her. I'm leaving the fandom and selling my merchandise at a low price. Thank you."
"Homosexuals should get out of the world of badminton."
"Can we have a threesome? After all, they're both quite good-looking."
"I don't really care about Xie Shi'an's homosexuality. I just think that if she can't play anymore, she should retire quickly and not just occupy the position without doing anything."
"Isn't it forbidden for the national team to have romantic relationships within the team? I'm afraid that a situation like the one at the Olympics will happen, where all the teams were wiped out because of Xie Shi'an. I never want to see her again."
"I heard Gao Jian has been arrested? This drama in the Chinese national badminton team is like dogs fighting each other, isn't it more exciting than a palace intrigue?"
"Jian Changnian, don't act impulsively. Maybe the Olympic champion will already be hers."
...
My phone has been vibrating non-stop since it was turned on, with a constant stream of messages flooding my inbox.
Xie Shi'an gritted his teeth, his hands beginning to tremble.
Wan Jing pushed the door open and saw that she was holding a phone and her expression was not right, so he snatched it from her hand.
Didn't I tell you not to look at your phone these days?
As if pulled from a dream, Xie Shi'an came to his senses and forced a smile.
"I... my mom just called."
Wan Jing dragged a chair to the side of the bed and sat down.
Is she coming to Beijing?
Xie Shi'an shook his head: "No, if she comes to Beijing, there will be no one to take care of the children at home."
That's what they say, but it's definitely because she doesn't want people to come. She's always been this way, and her uncle doesn't really like her either. Although things are a bit better now, she only maintains a polite but distant relationship with them.
Wan Jing felt sorry for her: "You're having such a major surgery, you still need your family with you..."
Xie Shi'an interrupted him.
"I can manage on my own."
"Then I'll stay here..."
"You should go back and rest too; you've been busy these past few days."
“Shi An…” Wan Jing moved his lips, wanting to persuade him again.
Xie Shi'an then remembered something else and looked up, saying, "Coach Wan, Chang Nian and I... let's call it a day."
Rather than waiting for the team to notify her, it's better for her to make the decision herself; a short, sharp pain is worse than a long, drawn-out one.
Wan Jing remained silent for a while.
Have you thought it through?
A self-deprecating smile appeared on Xie Shi'an's lips, but her eyes slowly reddened.
"I don't know when I'll be able to return to the field in my current condition, so I don't want to be a burden to her. Besides, as you've seen, she gets impulsive when I'm on the field."
"I don't want something like what happened at the airport last time to happen again. For her sake, and for the sake of our national team's performance... let's not play together anymore."
Seeing her like this, Wan Jing felt bad for her.
Xie Shi'an was entrusted to him by Yan Xinyuan halfway through his career. He hadn't taught her anything. When they first met, he thought that although she was a promising talent, she was unruly and unlikely to amount to much. Later, he was gradually won over by her and realized that she was actually as firm as a rock, resilient and unyielding, and valued badminton more than her own life. After fighting side by side for several years, he had long regarded her as his apprentice, and even had higher expectations for her than for Yin Jiayi.
He had considered letting Xie Shi'an take over his job when she was too old and didn't want to fight anymore.
But fate is cruel.
The people he values, whether it's Yin Jiayi or Xie Shi'an, may seem to be on different paths, but in reality, they are all walking the same road.
How could he not sigh, feel emotional, and be saddened?
In the setting sun, the white hair at his temples became even more striking. He sat there for a long time, his back cast against the wall, like a silent statue.
"Actually, just like Lao Yan, I want you two to play badminton together and become an unprecedented and unparalleled duo in the world of badminton, fulfilling the dream that neither he nor I were able to achieve."
"But it's fate...it's all fate!"
As he spoke, he buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking.
Tears welled up in Xie Shi'an's eyes.
"I'm sorry to you, and even more sorry to Coach Yan."
It was half a month later when Jian Changnian recovered from her injuries and returned to China. When she excitedly wanted to go find Xie Shi'an, she received a notification from the team instead.
Her partnership with Xie Shi'an has disbanded, and she will no longer participate in any competitions as a partner. The team will find another suitable candidate for her.
Confused, she went to Wan Jing's office to question him.
"Why?! We were playing so well, why disband us?! This must be the idea of the team leaders, right? We're just giving them attitude, aren't we? If you have any complaints about me, take them out on me..."
Wan Jing paused slightly while signing, without even raising his head.
"This means 'to settle down and make peace'."
Jian Changnian froze on the spot, then became agitated again after a moment: "How could this be... You must have forced her, right? She said she wouldn't team up with anyone else in doubles except me. I'm going to find her and ask her for an explanation!"
Wan Jing slammed down the pen in his hand and stood up.
"Can't you just shut up for a second?! Gao Jian has already been expelled and is in jail! The entire national team hasn't questioned you or Shi An about the little mess you caused, and you're still not satisfied?!"
"Do you really think we won't punish you?!"
"That's settled then, get out."
Wan Jing sat down again, looking impatient.
Jian Changnian bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes, but in the end she said nothing and turned to run away.
Chapter 125 Letting Go
Xie Shi'an's phone was always switched off.
Jian Changnian went to her school, where her counselor told her that she had taken a long leave of absence and hadn't been to class for some time.
Finally, he looked at her with a complicated expression.
"Don't you think that your visit to Shi'an at this time is having a very negative impact on her?"
A group of students had already gathered in the corridor. Jian Changnian pursed her lips, said nothing, just nodded apologetically to the people, and turned to leave.
She then went to Xie Shi'an's residence in Beijing. The door was covered with a layer of dust, and you could leave fingerprints on it.
She knocked for a long time, but no one answered. An impatient neighbor came out and said, "It's the middle of the day, can't you let people rest? Stop knocking, he's not here, he hasn't come back in a long time."
Jian Changnian looked dejected and turned to leave, but he didn't give up. He went back to the training base and asked his teammates one by one.
Do you know which hospital Shi'an is in?
"I don't know, I'm not sure."
Did Coach Wan tell you where she had the surgery?
"No, why would he tell us those things?"
Lu Xiaoting opened the door and saw it was her. Before anyone could speak, she immediately said with a wry smile, "Don't ask. Coach Wan gave the team a strict order: anyone who dares to reveal even a single word about Shi An's whereabouts will be expelled. Even if I knew, I couldn't tell you."
They had asked everyone they could, but Jian Changnian remained silent and turned to leave, looking as if he wouldn't give up until he found her. Lü Xiaoting called him back, stamping her feet in frustration.
"Your injuries haven't fully healed yet, can't you just calm down for a bit?!"
Jian Changnian did not turn around.
"If none of you tell me where she is, then I'll have to go to every hospital in Beijing to look for her."
"Are you... are you out of your mind? Beijing is such a big city, how long will it take you to find her! Just listen to Coach Wan, don't see her again, it's good for you and good for Sister An."
Jian Changnian turned around, moved her lips, and her eyes reddened.
"I'm not doing anything, I just... want an answer."
The last time she saw her was at the hospital, when Lü Xiaoting told her. She slowly walked over and looked at her through a glass partition.
The doctor unwrapped the gauze from her right leg, disinfected it, and then used scissors to cut away the rotten and overgrown granulation tissue at the surgical incision. Her originally smooth and fair skin became pitted and scarred. Throughout the process, Xie Shi'an endured tremendous pain, gritting her teeth. When the doctor poured the entire bottle of disinfectant on her again, she finally couldn't help but let out a roar from deep in her throat.
It was a voice filled with suppressed pain and sobs. Jian Changnian stood outside the door, trembling along with her.
Finally, the long process of changing dressings and bandaging was over. Just when Jian Changnian thought she could breathe a sigh of relief, the doctor took out a needle about the thickness of a thumb and inserted it into her knee, drawing out a full syringe of light red fluid.
The doctor placed it on the tray and then picked up a new one.
Jian Changnian couldn't bear to watch any longer. She covered her mouth, her eyes red, and ran to the depths of the corridor, where she couldn't hear or see anything. She bent down and burst into tears.
When she composed herself and returned to the ward, Xie Shi'an had also finished. The caregiver washed her hands, face, and feet, then turned around to pour out the water, leaving the towel on the floor.
Xie Shi'an sat in his wheelchair, looking at it, wanting to pick it up. He stretched out his arm to reach it, but after several attempts, he still couldn't reach it.
Fine beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. As she gritted her teeth and bent down again, a hand picked it up for her.
"Give."
She looked down at her wrist, her heart pounding with shock, but she remained calm and said nothing.
Why are you here?
It was as if they were just talking about today's weather.
Jian Changnian knew she couldn't do what she did. Looking at her, emaciated and tormented by illness, she took a step forward: "Shi'an, why are you avoiding me? I can take care of you—"
The caregiver came out of the bathroom carrying a basin and stood there stunned.
Xie Shi'an glanced at her and said, "You can go out now."
After everyone left, she turned her face away and said.