The next morning, as soon as Lingyun arrived at the classroom, she heard many classmates whispering among themselves.
"Did you know? The class beauty, Li Lingling, got together with that hoodlum, Zhang Yunfeng. I saw her exchanging glances with Lingyun just a couple of days ago, and now Lingyun's been dumped!"
"That's normal. Ling Yun has no looks, no academic ability, and no family background. Why would that great beauty Li Lingling be with him? Unless she's lost her mind."
……
Ling Yun pretended not to hear anything and returned to his seat. His face was already pale, but he still forced a calm demeanor. He lowered his head and pretended to organize his books, but his heart was in turmoil. He didn't even realize that he was holding the textbook upside down, and his hands trembled slightly as he turned the pages, revealing his extreme inner turmoil.
Anger, resentment, extreme emotions, jealousy, disbelief... a variety of negative emotions alternated, stimulating the boy's sensitive heart and completely disrupting his already chaotic mind. Ling Yun thought absentmindedly, "This is all fake, all fake, it can't be real. Lingling likes me so much, she even wanted to give herself to me, how could she be with Zhang Yunfeng?" He comforted himself again and again, trying hard to calm himself down.
When Li Lingling entered, beaming, arm in arm with Zhang Yunfeng, Ling Yun, who had barely managed to calm down, instantly collapsed. For a moment, his face turned deathly pale, and he trembled, even wanting to run out of the classroom. But his body was stiff, and he couldn't even turn his neck. He could only watch helplessly as the two of them walked past him, chatting and laughing.
Throughout the entire process, Li Lingling didn't glance at Ling Yun once, as if he didn't exist in her eyes at all.
Ling Yun slumped in his seat, breathing heavily as if he were about to suffocate. He struggled to control himself and resisted the urge to rush forward and slap the shameless man and woman a few times, even though many people had noticed his abnormality. Some even wished that Ling Yun would rush forward and grab Zhang Yunfeng by the collar, saying, "How dare you steal my girlfriend?" That would be a good show for them.
But such a thing will never happen. Those who are interested are just indulging in wishful thinking. Ling Yun is known for his introverted and honest nature; he'd rather follow the crowd than stand out. Hoping he'll act impulsively is less likely than hoping for a windfall.
The poor fellow, ruthlessly abandoned. That's what most people thought, and then they went about their own business.
Ling Yun spent the entire day lost in thought, not knowing what he was thinking. The feeling of unease was like a sharp dagger, cutting into his heart again and again. This sudden fall from heaven to hell almost made him breathless. His chest felt blocked, unbearably suffocating. Ling Yun just wanted to run to a deserted place and shout a few times to vent his frustration.
One hour!
The cold, indifferent voice, seemingly synthesized electronically, rang out again, echoing in Ling Yun's ears.
Chapter 99: Breaking the Delusion (5)
With a splash, Ling Yun plunged headfirst into the basin of water, letting the cool tap water slowly wash over his head, wetting his hair as well. A refreshing coolness washed over his face, and the burning sensation quickly disappeared. He liked this feeling; at least in the water, feeling the slight tension on the surface and the discomfort of holding his breath, he could stop thinking about those headaches.
Half a minute later, with a whoosh, Ling Yun lifted her head from the basin, water droplets from her face and hair splashing all over the bathroom floor and walls. Looking at herself in the water-covered mirror, Ling Yun silently leaned closer, gazing at her ordinary face. Suddenly, she felt that this face looked so unfamiliar. It was as if it weren't even her own.
The image of Li Lingling's beautiful figure involuntarily flashed through Ling Yun's mind again. He sighed deeply; he had tried very hard not to think about these stimulating scenes, but he couldn't help but think about them.
Perhaps with the passage of time, he would gradually forget this painful feeling. Ling Yun thought silently. A day passed, and he finally freed himself from the most painful mood. By evening, his depression had lessened considerably.
"We still have to live well, don't we?" Ling Yun comforted himself. He had always had this strength; from childhood to adulthood, he had a lot of experience with playing the Ah Q game of spiritual victory.
The phone in the bedroom vibrated with a pleasant melody. Ling Yun hastily dried his hair with a towel, walked into the bedroom, picked up the phone, and immediately froze. The text message was from Li Lingling.
"Yun, are you still angry with me? I'm sorry, I just wanted to get your attention, so I deliberately chose this way to provoke you. I was wrong, please forgive me, okay? I know you're feeling bad. You like me, don't you? Since you like me, come to my house."
The message was signed with the character "Ling". It was clearly sent to him by Li Lingling.
Upon receiving such a confession, Lingyun should have been overjoyed, almost jumping for joy, and then excitedly heading to find Li Lingling. But for some reason, Lingyun seemed to suddenly lose all interest, simply putting down his phone and sitting blankly on the bed, lost in thought.
My mind has been in turmoil these past two days, and I've experienced more shocks than in the past decade or so. Lingyun wants some peace and quiet to sort out her thoughts and figure out what she should do.
Li Lingling's unexpected text message didn't cheer Ling Yun up; instead, it made him want to escape. If all she wanted was to provoke him by publicly displaying their affection in front of the whole school, wouldn't that be terrifying? Even if they reconciled, how would others view Li Lingling, Zhang Yunfeng, or even Ling Yun himself?
Ling Yun narrowed his eyes slightly, recalling his past with Li Lingling. But after searching his memory for a long time, he was shocked to find that his memories of Li Lingling were completely blank. Ling Yun had no recollection of having any contact with Li Lingling before their date.
For some reason, Ling Yun found that his memory was exceptionally clear. No matter how long ago or how many details were from, they were all stored in his mind as if they had just happened. This allowed Ling Yun to freely search through all his memories, including events at every point in time and every single word spoken.
Li Lingling was his classmate in high school; they'd been classmates since the first year, a full three years now. Logically, they should be very familiar with each other. However, one was the class's academic representative, a top student, and the class beauty, possessing exceptional organizational and public speaking skills, radiating an aura of attention. The other was an average student with below-average grades, average looks, average height, and an introverted, honest personality. Aside from a select few, most classmates rarely even spoke to him.
These two people seemed like two completely incompatible extremes. Although Ling Yun secretly harbored feelings for Li Lingling, hoping to see her every move, in reality, over the past three years, Li Lingling and he had exchanged fewer than fifty words. Even when they did, it was merely routine conversation for class duties and activities, a few perfunctory words. Their relationship was far from harmonious, much less intimate. They couldn't even be considered ordinary friends.
So why would Li Lingling be interested in him? Ling Yun questioned himself again and again. He couldn't come to a conclusion. From any angle, even the most bizarre attraction between opposite sexes, the possibility of Li Lingling liking him was infinitesimally close to zero.
Gradually, Ling Yun's mind cleared. Ever since that night when Li Lingling suddenly spoke to him so intimately, he seemed to have been completely captivated by her beautiful image, even losing his most basic ability to think. Why would a girl he had never met before, or even remembered, show him such favor?
Wait… A sudden thought flashed through Ling Yun’s mind. He seemed to have forgotten the most important thing. What was it? Ling Yun frowned and thought anxiously. Suddenly, he remembered something he shouldn’t have forgotten: the love letter.
Li Lingling's excuse for talking to him was that she had read the love letter he had written to her. At the time, he was in a daze and couldn't remember writing any love letters to Li Lingling; he was simply lost in his infatuation. Later, on the way back from taking her home, Lingyun suddenly remembered that he hadn't written her any love letters, but then he vaguely forgot about it again.
Why do I remember everything else so clearly, but I keep forgetting about love letters? Ling Yun's eyes twitched incessantly, feeling like he was caught in a huge mystery. He was close to the truth, but he still didn't know what the final trump card was.
When Ling Yun had a crush on Li Lingling, he did write passionate confessions. But those were just words for his own enjoyment. To actually give them to Li Lingling would have been worse than killing the boy; the introverted Ling Yun could never bring himself to do such a thing. Besides, almost all of the confessions he wrote were burned by the boy; very few survived.
Thinking this through, Ling Yun suddenly realized that Li Lingling hadn't received his love letter at all. But why did she claim to have read it? Was it really just an excuse because she liked him?
Girls are generally very reserved. Even if they really like a boy, they won't take the initiative to say it, let alone ask him out. Especially for a beautiful girl like Li Lingling, who is aloof and superior, to suddenly launch a romantic offensive on a boy who is far inferior to her is, in a sense, only a theoretical possibility.
But it really happened, so how did that happen? Ling Yun's face showed a thoughtful expression.
Time passed second by second.
Thirty minutes! A cold voice rang in Ling Yun's ears.
But this time, Ling Yun's face didn't show a stiff expression. Instead, as if she had made up her mind, she got out of bed, dressed, and went out the door.
Fifteen minutes later, Ling Yun arrived at Li Lingling's house again.
"Lingyun, you still like me, don't you? Otherwise, why would you come?" Li Lingling looked at Lingyun affectionately.
“No, you don’t like me, and I don’t like you either. That’s the truth.” Ling Yun said silently, looking at the girl. “I don’t know how you feel about me, but judging from the past, we’ve had zero interactions. We seem to be classmates, but we’ve exchanged less than fifty words. Although liking someone doesn’t need a reason, I don’t see any emotional foundation that allows us to develop like this. You and I are two extremes, and it’s unlikely that we’ll be together right now.”
"At first, my feelings for you were a crush, but this crush was more like the imagination and confusion of adolescence. I only wanted the ideal you in my mind, not the real you. Or rather, I only liked a feeling, not a real emotional journey. It's not wrong to call this feeling liking, but it's definitely not true liking."
Ling Yun slowly finished speaking his last sentence. As he uttered the last word, he suddenly felt an incomparably profound understanding. A slight sound came from a corner of his heart, as if something had broken. In an instant, he felt refreshed and incomparably comfortable.
"Are you sure you really don't like me, and not because of some other reason?" Li Lingling asked with a smile, pursing her lips.
Ling Yun gave her a deep look: "Yes."
Time: zero. The indifferent voice rang out again.